father and son-第35章
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my way。 It is remarkable that among our books； which amounted to many hundreds； I had never discovered a single work of fiction until my Father himself revealed the existence of Michael Scott's wild masterpiece。 So little did I understand what was allowable in the way of literary invention that I began the story without a doubt that it was true； and I think it was my Father himself who； in answer to an inquiry； explained to me that it was 'all made up'。 He advised me to read the descriptions of the sea； and of the mountains of Jamaica； and 'skip' the pages which gave imaginary adventures and conversations。 But I did not take his counsel； these latter were the flower of the book to me。 I had never read； never dreamed of anything like them； and they filled my whole horizon with glory and with joy。
I suppose that when my Father was a younger man； and less pietistic； he had read Tom Cringle's Log with pleasure； because it recalled familiar scenes to him。 Much was explained by the fact that the frontispiece of this edition was a delicate line… engraving of Blewflelds； the great lonely house in a garden of Jamaican all…spice where for eighteen months he had worked as a naturalist。 He could not look at this print without recalling exquisite memories and airs that blew from a terrestrial paradise。 But Michael Scott's noisy amorous novel of adventure was an extraordinary book to put in the hands of a child who had never been allowed to glance at the mildest and most febrifugal story…book。
It was like giving a glass of brandy neat to someone who had never been weaned from a milk diet。 I have not read Tom Cringle's Log from that day to this； and I think that I should be unwilling now to break the charm of memory； which may be largely illusion。 But I remember a great deal of the plot and not a little of the language； and； while I am sure it is enchantingly spirited； I am quite as sure that the persons it describes were far from being unspotted by the world。 The scenes at night in the streets of Spanish Town surpassed not merely my experience； but； thank goodness； my imagination。 The nautical personages used； in their conversations； what is called 'a class of language'； and there ran； if I am not mistaken； a glow and gust of life through the romance from beginning to end which was nothing if it was not resolutely pagan。
There were certain scenes and images in Tom Cringle's Log which made not merely a lasting impression upon my mind； but tinged my outlook upon life。 The long adventures； fightings and escapes； sudden storms without； and mutinies within； drawn forth as they were； surely with great skill； upon the fiery blue of the boundless tropical ocean； produced on my inner mind a sort of glimmering hope； very vaguely felt at first； slowly developing； long stationary and faint； but always tending towards a belief that I should escape at last from the narrowness of the life we led at home； from this bondage to the Law and the Prophets。
I must not define too clearly； nor endeavour too formally to insist on the blind movements of a childish mind。 But of this I am quite sure； that the reading and re…reading of Tom Cringle's Log did more than anything else； in this critical eleventh year of my life； to give fortitude to my individuality； which was in great dangeras I now seeof succumbing to the pressure my Father brought to bear upon it from all sides。 My soul was shut up； like Fatima； in a tower to which no external influences could come； and it might really have been starved to death； or have lost the power of recovery and rebound； if my captor； by some freak not yet perfectly accounted for； had not gratuitously opened a little window in it and added a powerful telescope。 The daring chapters of Michael Scott's picaresque romance of the tropics were that telescope and that window。
In the spring of this year； I began to walk about the village and even proceed for considerable distances into the country by myself； and after reading Tom Cringle's Log those expeditions were accompanied by a constant hope of meeting with some adventures。 I did not court events； however； except in fancy； for I was very shy of real people； and would break off some gallant dream of prowess on the high seas to bolt into a field and hide behind the hedge； while a couple of labouring men went by。 Sometimes； however； the wave of a great purpose would bear me on； as when once； but certainly at an earlier date than I have now reached； hearing the dangers of a persistent drought much dwelt upon； I carried my small red watering pot； full of water； up to the top of the village； and then all the way down Petittor Lane； and discharged its contents in a cornfield； hoping by this act to improve the prospects of the harvest。 A more eventful excursion must be described； because of the moral impression it left indelibly upon me。
I have described the sequestered and beautiful hamlet of Barton； to which I was so often taken visiting by Mary Grace Burmington。 At Barton there lived a couple who were objects of peculiar interest to me； because of the rather odd fact that having come； out of pure curiosity； to see me baptized； they had been then and there deeply convinced of their spiritual danger。 These were John Brooks； an Irish quarryman； and his wife； Ann Brooks。 These people had not merely been hitherto unconverted； but they had openly treated the Brethren with anger and contempt。 They came； indeed； to my baptism to mock； but they went away impressed。
Next morning； when Mrs。 Brooks was at the wash tub； as she told us； Hell opened at her feet； and the Devil came out holding a long scroll on which the list of her sins was written。 She was so much excited； that the motion brought about a miscarriage and she was seriously ill。 Meanwhile； her husband； who had been equally moved at the baptism； was also converted； and as soon as she was well enough； they were baptized together； and then 'broke bread' with us。 The case of the Brookses was much talked about； and was attributed； in a distant sense； to me； that is to say； if I had not been an object of public curiosity； the Brookses might have remained in the bond of iniquity。 I； therefore； took a very particular interest in them； and as I presently heard that they were extremely poor； I was filled with a fervent longing to minister to their necessities。
Somebody had lately given me a present of money； and I begged little sums here and there until I reached the very considerable figure of seven shillings and sixpence。 With these coins safe in a little linen bag； I started one Sunday afternoon； without saying anything to anyone； and I arrived at the Brookses' cottage in Barton。 John Brooks was a heavy dirty man； with a pock…marked face and two left legs； his broad and red face carried small sidewhiskers in the manner of that day； but was otherwise shaved。 When I reached the cottage； husband and wife were at home； doing nothing at all in the approved Sunday style。 I was received by them with some surprise； but I quickly explained my mission； and produced my linen bag。 To my disgust； all John Brooks said was； 'I know'd the Lord would provide；' and after emptying my little bag into the palm of an enormous hand； he swept the contents into his trousers pocket； and slapped his leg。 He said not one single word of thanks or appreciation； and I was absolutely cut to the heart。
I think that in the course of a long life I have never experienced a bitterer disappointment。 The woman； who was quicker； and more sensitive； doubtless saw my embarrassment； but the form of comfort which she chose was even more wounding to my pride。 'Never mind； little master；' she said； you shall come and see me feed the pigs。' But there is a limit to endurance； and with a sense of having been cruelly torn by the tooth of ingratitude； I fled from the threshold of the Brookses； never to return。
At tea that afternoon； I was very much downcast； and under cross… examination from Miss Marks； all my little story came out。 My Father； who had been floating away in a meditation； as he very often did； caught a word that interested him and descended to consciousness。 I had to tell my tale over again； this time very sadly； and with a fear that I should be reprimanded。 B
