father and son-第31章
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possessed an insight into the plan of salvation which many a hoary head might envy for its fullness； its clearness； its conformity with Scripture doctrine。 This was a palpable hit at more than one stumbler and fumbler after the truth； and several hoary heads were bowed。
My Father then went on to explain very fully the position which I have already attempted to define。 He admitted the absence in my case of a sudden； apparent act of conversion resulting upon conviction of sin。 But he stated the grounds of his belief that I had； in still earlier infancy； been converted； and he declared that if so； I ought no longer to be excluded from the privileges of communion。 He said； moreover； that he was willing on this occasion to waive his own privilege as a minister； and that he would rather call on Brother Fawkes and Brother Bere； the leading elders； to examine the candidate in his stead。 This was a master… stroke； for Brothers Fawkes and Bere had been suspected of leading the disaffection； and this threw all the burden of responsibility on them。 The meeting broke up in great amiability； and my Father and I went home together in the very highest of spirits。 I； indeed； in my pride； crossed the verge of indiscretion by saying： 'When I have been admitted to fellowship； Papa； shall I be allowed to call you 〃beloved Brother〃？' My Father was too well pleased with the morning's work to be critical。 He laughed； and answered： ' That； my Love； though strictly correct； would hardly； I fear； be thought judicious！'
It was suggested that my tenth birthday； which followed this public announcement by a few days； would be a capital occasion for me to go through the ordeal。 Accordingly； after dark （for our new lamp was lighted for the first time in honour of the event）； I withdrew alone into our drawing…room； which had just； at length； been furnished； and which looked； I thought； very smart。 Hither came to me； first Brother Fawkes； by himself； then Brother Bere； by himself； and then both together； so that you may say； if you are pedanticaly inclined； that I underwent three successive interviews。 My Father； out of sight somewhere； was； of course； playing the part of stage manager。
I felt not at all shy； but so highly strung that my whole nature seemed to throb with excitement。 My first examiner； on the other hand； was extremely confused。 Fawkes； who was a builder in a small business of his own； was short and fat； his complexion； which wore a deeper and more uniform rose…colour than usual； I observed to be starred with dew…drops of nervous emotion； which he wiped away at intervals with a large bandana handkerchief。 He was so long in coming to the point； that I was obliged to lead him to it myself； and I sat up on the sofa in the full lamplight； and testified my faith in the atonement with a fluency that surprised myself。 Before I had done； Fawkes； a middle…aged man with the reputation of being a very stiff employer of labour； was weeping like a child。
Bere； the carpenter； a long； thin and dry man； with a curiously immobile eye； did not fall so easily a prey to my fascinations。 He put me through my paces very sharply； for he had something of the temper of an attorney mingled with his religiousness。 However； I was equal to him； and he； too； though he held his own head higher； was not less impressed than Fawkes had been； by the surroundings of the occasion。 Neither of them had ever been in our drawing…room since it was furnished； and I thought that each of them noticed how smart the wallpaper was。 Indeed； I believe I drew their attention to it。 After the two solitary examinations were over； the elders came in again； as I have said； and they prayed for a long time。 We all three knelt at the sofa； I between them。 But by this time； to my great exaltation of spirits there had succeeded an equally dismal depression。 It was my turn now to weep； and I dimly remember any Father coming into the room； and my being carried up to bed； in a state of collapse and fatigue； by the silent and kindly Miss Marks。
On the following Sunday morning； I was the principal subject which occupied an unusually crowded meeting。 My Father； looking whiter and yet darker than usual； called upon Brother Fawkes and Brother Bere to state to the assembled saints what their experiences had been in connexion with their visits to 'one' who desired to be admitted to the breaking of bread。 It was tremendously exciting to me to hear myself spoken of with this impersonal publicity； and I had no fear of the result。
Events showed that I had no need of fear。 Fawkes and Bere were sometimes accused of a rivalry； which indeed broke out a few years later； and gave my Father much anxiety and pain。 But on this occasion their unanimity was wonderful。 Each strove to exceed the other in the tributes which they paid to any piety。 My answers had been so full and clear； my humility （save the mark！） had been so sweet； my acquaintance with Scripture so amazing； my testimony to all the leading principles of salvation so distinct and exhaustive； that they could only say that they had felt confounded； and yet deeply cheered and led far along their own heavenly path； by hearing such accents fall from the lips of a babe and a suckling。 I did not like being described as a suckling； but every lot has its crumpled rose…leaf； and in all other respects the report of the elders was a triumph。 My Father then clenched the whole matter by rising and announcing that I had expressed an independent desire to confess the Lord by the act of public baptism； immediately after which I should be admitted to communion 'as an adult'。 Emotion ran so high at this； that a large portion of the congregation insisted on walking with us back to our garden…gate； to the stupefaction of the rest of the villagers。
My public baptism was the central event of my whole childhood。 Everything； since the earliest dawn of consciousness； seemed to have been leading up to it。 Everything； afterwards； seemed to be leading down and away from it。 The practice of immersing communicants on the sea…beach at Oddicombe had now been completely abandoned； but we possessed as yet no tank for a baptismal purpose in our own Room。 The Room in the adjoining town； however； was really quite a large chapel； and it was amply provided with the needful conveniences。 It was our practice； therefore； at this time； to claim the hospitality of our neighbours。 Baptisms were made an occasion for friendly relations between the two congregations； and led to pleasant social intercourse。 I believe that the ministers and elders of the two meetings arranged to combine their forces at these times； and to baptize communicants from both congregations。
The minister of the town meeting was Mr。 S。； a very handsome old gentleman； of venerable and powerful appearance。 He had snowy hair and a long white beard； but from under shaggy eyebrows there blazed out great black eyes which warned the beholder that the snow was an ornament and not a sign of decrepitude。 The eve of my baptism at length drew near； it was fixed for October 12； almost exactly three weeks after my tenth birthday。 I was dressed in old clothes； and a suit of smarter things was packed up in a carpet… bag。 After nightfall； this carpet…bag； accompanied by my Father； myself； Miss Marks and Mary Grace； was put in a four…wheeled cab； and driven； a long way in the dark； to the chapel of our friends。 There we were received； in a blaze of lights； with a pressure of hands； with a murmur of voices； with ejaculations and even with tears； and were conducted； amid unspeakable emotion； to places of honour in the front row of the congregation。
The scene was one which would have been impressive； not merely to such hermits as we were； but even to worldly persons accustomed to life and to its curious and variegated experiences。 To me it was dazzling beyond words； inexpressibly exciting； an initiation to every kind of publicity and glory。 There were many candidates； but the rest of them；mere grownup men and women；gave thanks aloud that it was their privilege to follow where I led。 I was the acknowledged hero of the hour。 Those were days when newspaper enterprise was scarcely in its infancy； and the event owed nothing to journalistic effort；
