father and son-第27章
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ved a small public excursion； and this I was now allowed to make by myselfan immense source of self… respect。
Everything in my little memories seems to run askew； obviously I ought to have been extremely stirred and broadened by this earliest association with a boy of my own age！ Yet I cannot truly say that it was so。 Benny's mother possessed what seemed to me a vast domain； with lawns winding among broad shrubberies； and a kitchen…garden； with aged fruit…trees in it。 The ripeness of this place； mossed and leafy； was gratifying to my senses； on which the rawness of our own bald garden jarred。 There was an old brick wall between the two divisions； upon which it was possible for us to climb up； and from this we gained Pisgah…views which were a prodigious pleasure。 But I had not the faintest idea how to 'play'； I had never learned； had never heard of any 'games'。 I think Benny must have lacked initiative almost as much as I did。 We walked about； and shook the bushes； and climbed along the wall； I think that was almost all we ever did do。 And； sadly enough； I cannot recover a phrase from Benny's lips； nor an action； nor a gesture； although I remember quite clearly how some grown…up people of that time looked； and the very words they said。
For example； I recollect Miss Wilkes very distinctly； since I studied her with great deliberation； and with a suspicious watchfulness that was above my years。 In Miss Wilkes a type that had hitherto been absolutely unfamiliar to us obtruded upon our experience。 In our Eveless Eden； Woman； if not exactly hirsuta et horrida； had always been 'of a certain age'。 But Miss Wilkes was a comparatively young thing； and she advanced not by any means unconscious of her charms。 All was feminine； all was impulsive； about Miss Wilkes； every gesture seemed eloquent with girlish innocence and the playful dawn of life。 In actual years I fancy she was not so extremely youthful； since she was the responsible and trusted headmistress of a large boarding…school for girls； but in her heart the joy of life ran high。 Miss Wilkes had a small； round face； with melting eyes； and when she lifted her head； her ringlets seemed to vibrate and shiver like the bells of a pagoda。 She had a charming way of clasping her hands； and holding them against her bodice； while she said； 'Oh； butreally now？' in a manner inexpressibly engaging。 She was very earnest； and she had a pleading way of calling out： 'O； but aren't you teasing me？' which would have brought a tiger fawning to her crinoline。
After we had spent a full year without any social distractions； it seems that our circle of acquaintances had now begun to extend； in spite of my Father's unwillingness to visit his neighbours。 He was a fortress that required to be stormed； but there was considerable local curiosity about him； so that by…and… by escalading parties were formed； some of which were partly successful。 In the first place； Charles Kingsley had never hesitated to come； from the beginning； ever since our arrival。 He had reason to visit our neighbouring town rather frequently； and on such occasions he always marched up and attacked us。 It was extraordinary how persistent he was； for my Father must have been a very trying friend。 I vividly recollect that a sort of cross… examination of would…be communicants was going on in our half… furnished drawing…room one weekday morning； when Mr。 Kingsley was announced； my Father； in stentorian tones； replied： 'Tell Mr。 Kingsley that I am engaged in examining Scripture with certain of the Lord's children。' And I； a little later； kneeling at the window； while the candidates were being dismissed with prayer； watched the author of Hypatia nervously careening about the garden； very restless and impatient； yet preferring this ignominy to the chance of losing my Father's company altogether。 Kingsley； a daring spirit； used sometimes to drag us out trawling with him in Torbay； and although his hawk's beak and rattling voice frightened me a little； his was always a jolly presence that brought some refreshment to our seriousness。
But the other visitors who came in Kingsley's wake and without his excuse how they disturbed us！ We used to be seated； my Father at his microscope； I with my map or book； in the down… stairs room we called the study。 There would be a hush around us in which you could hear a sea…anemone sigh。 Then； abruptly； would come a ring at the front door； my Father would bend at me a corrugated brow； and murmur； under his breath； 'What's that？ and then； at the sound o￡ footsteps； would bolt into the verandah； and around the garden into the potting…shed。 If it was no visitor more serious than the postman or the tax…gatherer； I used to go forth and coax the timid wanderer home。 If it was a caller； above all a female caller； it was my privilege to prevaricate； remarking innocently that 'Papa is out！'
Into a paradise so carefully guarded； I know not how that serpent Miss Wilkes could penetrate； but there she was。 She 'broke bread' with the Brethren at the adjacent town； from which she carried on strategical movements； which were； up to a certain point； highly successful。 She professed herself deeply interested in microscopy； and desired that some of her young ladies should study it also。 She came attended by an unimportant man； and by pupils to whom I had sometimes； very unwillingly； to show our 'natural objects'。 They would invade us； and all our quietness with chattering noise； I could bear none of them； and I was singularly drawn to Miss Marks by finding that she disliked them too。
By whatever arts she worked； Miss Wilkes certainly achieved a certain ascendancy。 When the knocks came at the front door； I was now instructed to see whether the visitor were not she； before my Father bolted to the potting…shed。 She was an untiring listener； and my Father had a genius for instruction。 Miss Wilkes was never weary of expressing what a revelation of the wonderful works of God in creation her acquaintance with us had been。 She would gaze through the microscope at awful forms； and would persevere until the silver rim which marked the confines of the drop of water under inspection would ripple inwards with a flash of light and vanish； because the drop itself had evaporated。 'Well； I can only say； how marvellous are Thy doings！' was a frequent ejaculation of Miss Wilkes； and one that was very well received。 She learned the Latin names of many of the species； and it seems quite pathetic to me； looking back； to realize how much trouble the poor woman took。 She 'hung'； as the expression is； upon my Father's every word； and one instance of this led to a certain revelation。
My Father； who had an extraordinary way of saying anything what Came into his mind； stated one day；the fashions； I must suppose； being under discussion；that he thought white the only becoming colour for a lady's stockings。 The stockings of Miss Wilkes had up to that hour been of a deep violet； but she wore white ones in future whenever she came to our house。 This delicacy would have been beyond my unaided infant observation； but I heard Miss Marks mention the matter； in terms which they supposed to be secret； to her confidante； and I verified it at the ankles of the lady。 Miss Marks continued by saying； in confidence； and 'quite as between you and me； dear Mary Grace'； that Miss Wilkes was a 'minx'。 I had the greatest curiosity about words； and as this was a new one； I looked it up in our large English Dictionary。 But there the definition of the term was this：'Minx： the female of minnock； a pert wanton。' I was as much in the dark as ever。
Whether she was the female of a minnock （whatever that may be） or whether she was only a very well…meaning schoolmistress desirous of enlivening a monotonous existence； Miss Wilkes certainly took us out of ourselves a good deal。 Did my Father know what danger he ran？ It was the opinion of Miss Marks and of Mary Grace that he did not； and in the back…kitchen； a room which served those ladies as a private oratory in the summer…time； much prayer was offered up that his eyes might be opened ere it was too late。 But I am inclined to think that they were open all the time； that； at all events； they were what the French call entr'ouvert；
