father and son-第16章
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hing else。 This had been their unceasing recreation； and no third person could possibly follow the curious path which they had hewn for themselves through this jungle of symbols。 But； more and more； my Father persuaded himself that I； too； was initiated；； and by degrees I was made to share in all his speculations and interpretations。
Hand in hand we investigated the number of the Beast； which number is six hundred three score and six。 Hand in hand we inspected the nations； to see whether they had the mark of Babylon in their foreheads。 Hand in hand we watched the spirits of devils gathering the kings of the earth into the place which is called in the Hebrew tongue Armageddon。 Our unity in these excursions was so delightful； that my Father was lulled in any suspicion he might have formed that I did not quite understand what it was all about。 Nor could he have desired a pupil more docile or more ardent than I was in my flaming denunciations of the Papacy。
If there was one institution more than another which； at this early stage of my history； I loathed and feared； it was what we invariably spoke of as 'the so…called Church of Rome'。 In later years； I have met with stout Protestants； gallant 'Down…with…the… Pope' men from County Antrim； and ladies who see the hand of the Jesuits in every public and private misfortune。 It is the habit of a loose and indifferent age to consider this dwindling body of enthusiasts with suspicion； and to regard their attitude towards Rome as illiberal。 But my own feeling is that they are all too mild； that their denunciations err on the side of the anodyne。 I have no longer the slightest wish myself to denounce the Roman communion； but； if it is to be done； I have an idea that the latter…day Protestants do not know how to do it。 In Lord Chesterfield's phrase； these anti…Pope men 'don't understand their own silly business'。 They make concessions and allowances； they put on gloves to touch the accursed thing。
Not thus did we approach the Scarlet Woman in the 'fifties。 We palliated nothing； we believed in no good intentions； we used （I myself used； in my tender innocency） language of the seventeenth century such as is now no longer introduced into any species of controversy。 As a little boy； when I thought； with intense vagueness； of the Pope； I used to shut my eyes tight and clench my fists。 We welcomed any social disorder in any part of Italy； as likely to be annoying to the Papacy。 If there was a custom… house officer stabbed in a fracas at Sassari； we gave loud thanks that liberty and light were breaking in upon Sardinia。 If there was an unsuccessful attempt to murder the Grand Duke； we lifted up our voices to celebrate the faith and sufferings of the dear persecuted Tuscans； and the record of some apocryphal monstrosity in Naples would only reveal to us a glorious opening for Gospel energy。 My Father celebrated the announcement in the newspapers of a considerable emigration from the Papal Dominions by rejoicing at 'this outcrowding of many； throughout the harlot's domain； from her sins and her plagues'。
No； the Protestant League may consider itself to be an earnest and active body； but I can never look upon its efforts as anything but lukewarm； standing； as I do； with the light of other days around me。 As a child； whatever I might question； I never doubted the turpitude of Rome。 I do not think I had formed any idea whatever of the character or pretensions or practices of the Catholic Church； or indeed of what it consisted； or its nature； but I regarded it with a vague terror as a wild beast； the only good point about it being that it was very old and was soon to die。 When I turned to Jukes or Newton for further detail； I could not understand what they said。 Perhaps； on the whole； there was no disadvantage in that。
It is possible that someone may have observed to my Father that the conditions of our life were unfavourable to our health； although I hardly think that he would have encouraged any such advice。 As I look back upon this far…away time； I am surprised at the absence in it of any figures but our own。 He and I together； now in the study among the sea…anemones and starfishes； now on the canal…bridge； looking down at the ducks； now at our hard little meals； served up as those of a dreamy widower are likely to be when one maid…of…all…work provides them； now under the lamp at the maps we both loved so much； this is what I see no third presence is ever with us。 Whether it occurred to himself that such a solitude a deux was excellent； in the long run； for neither of us； or whether any chance visitor or one of the 'Saints'； who used to see me at the Room every Sunday morning； suggested that a female influence might put a little rose…colour into my pasty cheeks； I know not。 All I am sure of is that one day； towards the close of the summer； as I was gazing into the street； I saw a four…wheeled cab stop outside our door； and deposit； with several packages； a strange lady； who was shown up into my Father's study and was presently brought down and introduced to me。
Miss Marks； as I shall take the liberty of calling this person； was so long a part of my life that I must pause to describe her。 She was tall； rather gaunt； with high cheek…bones； her teeth were prominent and very white； her eyes were china…blue； and were always absolutely fixed； wide open； on the person she spoke to； her nose was inclined to be red at the tip。 She had a kind； hearty； sharp mode of talking； but did not exercise it much； being on the whole taciturn。 She was bustling and nervous； not particularly refined； not quite； I imagine； what is called 'a lady'。 I supposed her； if I thought of the matter at all； to be very old； but perhaps she may have been； when we knew her first； some forty…five summers。 Miss Marks was an orphan； depending upon her work for her living； she would not； in these days of examinations； have comas up to the necessary educational standards； but she had enjoyed experience in teaching； and was prepared to be a conscientious and careful governess； up to her lights。 I was now informed by my Father that it was in this capacity that she would in future take her place in our household。 I was not informed； what I gradually learned by observation； that she would also act in it as housekeeper。
Miss Marks was a somewhat grotesque personage； and might easily be painted as a kind of eccentric Dickens character； a mixture of Mrs。 Pipchin and Miss Sally Brass。 I will confess that when； in years to come； I read 'Dombey and Son'； certain features of Mrs。 Pipchin did irresistibly remind me of my excellent past governess。 I can imagine Miss Marks saying； but with a facetious intent； that children who sniffed would not go to heaven。 But I was instantly ashamed of the parallel； because my gaunt old friend was a thoroughly good and honest woman； not intelligent and not graceful； but desirous in every way to do her duty。 Her duty to me she certainly did； and I am afraid I hardly rewarded her with the devotion she deserved。 From the first； I was indifferent to her wishes； and； as much as was convenient； I ignored her existence。 She held no power over my attention； and if I accepted her guidance along the path of instruction； it was because； odd as it may sound； I really loved knowledge。 I accepted her company without objection； and though there were occasional outbreaks of tantrums on both sides； we got on very well together for several years。 I did not； however； at any time surrender my inward will to the wishes of Miss Marks。
In the circle of our life the religious element took so preponderating a place； that it is impossible to avoid mentioning； what might otherwise seem unimportant； the theological views of Miss Marks。 How my Father had discovered her； or from what field of educational enterprise he plucked her in her prime； I never knew； but she used to mention that my Father's ministrations had 'opened her eyes'； from which 'scales' had fallen。 She had accepted； on their presentation to her； the entire gamut of his principles。 Miss Marks was accustomed； while putting me to bed； to dwell darkly on the incidents of her past； which had； I fear； been an afflicted one。 I believe I do her rather limited intelligence no
