an unsocial socialist-第60章

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fellow　or　a　virtuous　gentleman；　but　he　was　not　an　a~s；　although
he　was　obstinate　in　his　Socialistic　fads。　She　had　indeed
suspected　him　of　weakness　almost　asinine　with　respect　to
Gertrude；　but　then　all　men　were　asses　in　their　dealings　with
women；　and　since　he　had　transferred　his　weakness　to　her　own
account　it　no　longer　seemed　to　need　justification。　And　now；　as
her　concern　for　Erskine；　whom　she　pitied；　wore　off；　she　began　to
resent　Trefusis's　journey　with　Gertrude　as　an　attack　on　her
recently　acquired　monopoly　of　him。　There　was　an　air　of
aristocratic　pride　about　Gertrude　which　Agatha　had　formerly
envied；　and　which　she　still　feared　Trefusis　might　mistake　for　an
index　of　dignity　and　refinement。　Agatha　did　not　believe　that　her
resentment　was　the　common　feeling　called　jealousy；　for　she　still
deemed　herself　unique；　but　it　gave　her　a　sense　of　meanness　that
did　not　improve　her　spirits。

The　dinner　was　dull。　Lady　Brandon　spoke　in　an　undertone；　as　if
someone　lay　dead　in　the　next　room。　Erskine　was　depressed　by　the
consciousness　of　having　lost　his　head　and　acted　foolishly　in　the
afternoon。　Sir　Charles　did　not　pretend　to　ignore　the　suspense
they　were　all　in　pending　intelligence　of　the　journey　to　London；
he　ate　and　drank　and　said　nothing。　Agatha；　disgusted　with　herself
and　with　Gertrude；　and　undecided　whether　to　be　disgusted　with
Trefusis　or　to　trust　him　affectionately；　followed　the　example　of
her　host。　After　dinner　she　accompanied　him　in　a　series　of　songs
by　Schubert。　This　proved　an　aggravation　instead　of　a　relief。　Sir
Charles；　excelling　in　the　expression　of　melancholy；　preferred
songs　of　that　character；　and　as　his　musical　ideas；　like　those　of
most　Englishmen；　were　founded　on　what　he　had　heard　in　church　in
his　childhood；　his　style　was　oppressively　monotonous。　Agatha　took
the　first　excuse　that　presented　itself　to　leave　the　piano。　Sir
Charles　felt　that　his　performance　had　been　a　failure；　and
remarked；　after　a　cough　or　two；　that　he　had　caught　a　touch　of
cold　returning　from　the　station。　Erskine　sat　on　a　sofa　with　his
head　drooping；　and　his　palms　joined　and　hanging　downward　between
his　knees。　Agatha　stood　at　the　window；　looking　at　the　late　summer
afterglow。　Jane　yawned；　and　presently　broke　the　silence。

〃You　look　exactly　as　you　used　at　school；　Agatha。　I　could　almost
fancy　us　back　again　in　Number　Six。〃

Agatha　shook　her　head。

〃Do　I　ever　look　like　thatlike　myself；　as　I　used　to　be？〃

〃Never；〃　said　Agatha　emphatically；　turning　and　surveying　the
figure　of　which　Miss　Carpenter　had　been　the　unripe　antecedent。

〃But　why？〃　said　Jane　querulously。　〃I　don't　see　why　I　shouldn't。　I
am　not　so　changed。〃

〃You　have　become　an　exceedingly　fine　woman；　Jane；〃　said　Agatha
gravely；　and　then；　without　knowing　why；　turned　her　attentive　gaze
upon　Sir　Charles；　who　bore　it　uneasily；　and　left　the　room。　A
minute　later　he　returned　with　two　buff　envelopes　in　his　hand。

〃A　telegram　for　you；　Miss　Wylie；　and　one　for　Chester。〃　Erskine
started　up；　white　with　vague　fears。　Agatha's　color　went；　and　came
again　with　increased　richness　as　she　read：

〃I　have　arrived　safe　and　ridiculously　happy。　Read　a　thousand
things　between　the　lines。　I　will　write　tomorrow。　Good　night。〃

〃You　may　read　it；〃　said　Agatha；　handing　it　to　Jane。

〃Very　pretty；〃　said　Jane。　〃A　shilling's　worth　of
attentionexactly　twenty　words！　He　may　well　call　himself　an
economist。〃

Suddenly　a　crowing　laugh　from　Erskine　caused　them　to　turn　and
stare　at　him。　〃What　nonsense！〃　he　said；　blushing。　〃What　a　fellow
he　is！　I　don't　attach　the　slightest　importance　to　this。〃

Agatha　took　a　corner　of　his　telegram　and　pulled　it　gently。

〃No；　no；〃　he　said；　holding　it　tightly。　〃It　is　too　absurd。　I　don't
think　I　ought〃

Agatha　gave　a　decisive　pull；　and　read　the　message　aloud。　It　was
from　Trefusis；　thus：

〃I　forgive　your　thoughts　since　Brandon's　return。　Write　her
to…night；　and　follow　your　letter　to　receive　an　affirmative　answer
in　person。　I　promised　that　you　might　rely　on　me。　She　loves　you。〃

〃I　never　heard　of　such　a　thing　in　my　life；〃　said　Jane。　〃Never！〃

〃He　is　certainly　a　most　unaccountable　man；〃　said　Sir　Charles。

〃I　am　glad；　for　my　own　sake；　that　he　is　not　so　black　as　he　is
painted；〃　said　Agatha。　〃You　may　believe　every　word　of　it；　Mr。
Erskine。　Be　sure　to　do　as　he　tells　you。　He　is　quite　certain　to　be
right。〃

〃Pooh！〃　said　Erskine；　crumpling　the　telegram　and　thrusting　it
into　his　pocket　as　if　it　were　not　worth　a　second　thought。
Presently　he　slipped　away；　and　did　not　reappear。　When　they　were
about　to　retire；　Sir　Charles　asked　a　servant　where　he　was。

〃In　the　library；　Sir　Charles；　writing。〃

They　looked　significantly　at　one　another　and　went　to　bed　without
disturbing　him。



CHAPTER　XVIII

When　Gertrude　found　herself　beside　Trefusis　in　the　Pullman；　she
wondered　how　she　came　to　be　travelling　with　him　against　her
resolution；　if　not　against　her　will。　In　the　presence　of　two　women
scrutinizing　her　as　if　they　suspected　her　of　being　there　with　no
good　purpose；　a　male　passenger　admiring　her　a　little　further　off；
her　maid　reading　Trefusis's　newspapers　just　out　of　earshot；　an
uninterested　country　gentleman　looking　glumly　out　of　window；　a
city　man　preoccupied　with　the　〃Economist；〃　and　a　polite　lady　who
refrained　from　staring　but　not　from　observing；　she　felt　that　she
must　not　make　a　scene；　yet　she　knew　he　had　not　come　there　to　hold
an　ordinary　conversation。　Her　doubt　did　not　last　long。　He　began
promptly；　and　went　to　the　point　at　once。

〃What　do　you　think　of　this　engagement　of　mine？〃

This　was　more　than　she　could　bear　calmly。　〃What　is　it　to　me？〃　she
said　indignantly。　〃I　have　nothing　to　do　with　it。〃

〃Nothing！　You　are　a　cold　friend　to　me　then。　I　thought　you　one　of
the　surest　I　possessed。〃

She　moved　as　if　about　to　look　at　him；　but　checked　herself；　closed
her　lips；　and　fixed　her　eyes　on　the　vacant　seat　before　her。　The
reproach　he　deserved　was　beyond　her　power　of　expression。

〃I　cling　to　that　conviction　still；　in　spite　of　Miss　Lindsay's
indifference　to　my　affairs。　But　I　confess　I　hardly　know　how　to
bring　you　into　sympathy　with　me　in　this　matter。　In　the　first
place；　you　have　never　been　married；　I　have。　In　the　next；　you　are
much　younger　than　I；　in　more　respects　than　that　of　years。　Very
likely　half　your　ideas　on　the　subject　are　derived　from　fictions
in　which　happy　results　are　tacked　on　to　conditions　very
ill…calculated　to　produce　themwhich　in　real　life　hardly　ever　do
produce　them。　If　our　friendship　were　a　chapter　in　a　novel；　what
would　be　the　upshot　of　it？　Why；　I　should　marry　you；　or　you　break
your　heart　at　my　treachery。〃

Gertrude　moved　her　eyes　as　if　she　had　some　intention　of　taking　to
flight。

〃But　our　relations　being　those　of　real　lifefar　sweeter；　after
allI　never　dreamed　of　marrying　you；　having　gained　and　enjoyed
your　friendship　without　that　eye　to　business　which　our　nineteenth
century　keeps　open　even　whilst　it　sleeps。　You；　being　equally
disinterested　in　your　regard　for　me；　do　not　think　of　breaking
your　heart；　but　you　are；　I　suppose；　a　little　hurt　at　my
apparently　meditating　and　resolving　on　such　a　serious　step　as
marriage　with　Agatha　without　confiding　my　intention　to　you。　And
you　punish　me　by　telling　me　that　you　have　nothing　to　do　with　it
that　it　is　nothing　to　you。　But　I　never　meditated　the　step；　and　so
had　nothing　to　conceal　from　you。　It　was　conceived　and　executed　in
less　than　a　minute。　Although　my　first　marriage　was　a　silly　love
match　and　a　failure；　I　have　always　admitted　to　myself　that　I
should　marry　again。　A　bachelor　is　a　man　who　shirks
responsibilities　and　duties；　I　seek　them；　and　consider　it　my
duty；　with　my　monstrous　superfluity　of　means；　not　to　let　the
individualists　outbreed　me。　Still；　I　was　in　no　hurry；　having
other　things　to　occupy　me；　and　being　fond　of　my　bachelor　freedom；
and　doubtful　sometimes　whether　I　had　any　right　to　bring　more
idlers　into　the　world　for　the　workers　to　feed。　Then　came　the
usual　difficulty　about　the　lady。　I　did　not　want　a　helpmeet；　I　can
help　myself。　Nor　did　I　expect　to　be　loved　devotedly；　for　the　race
has　not　yet　evolved　a　man　lovable　on　thorough　acquaintance；　even
my　self…love　is　neither　thorough　nor　constant。　I　wanted　a　genial
partner　for　domestic　business；　and　Ag