an unsocial socialist-第43章

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me。〃

She　looked　at　him　earnestly。　He　had　taken　her　hand　to　steady　her；
for　she　was　swaying　a　little。　〃Are　you　sure；〃　she　said；　grasping
his　arm。　〃Are　you　quite　sure？〃

〃Absolutely　certain。　You　know　I　am　always　right；　do　you　not？〃

〃Yes；　oh；　yes；　you　have　always　been　true　to　me。　You〃　Here　her
senses　came　back　with　a　rush。　Dropping　his　hand　as　if　it　had
become　red　hot；　she　said　sharply；　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　said；　resuming　his　indifferent　manner　with　a
laugh。　〃Are　you　better？　Let　me　drive　you　to　the　Beeches。　My
stable　is　within　a　stone's　throw；　I　can　get　a　trap　out　in　ten
minutes。〃

〃No；　thank　you；〃　said　Gertrude　haughtily。　〃I　do　not　wish　to
drive。〃　She　paused；　and　added　in　some　bewilderment；　〃What　has
happened？〃

〃You　fainted；　and〃

〃I　did　not　faint；〃　said　Gertrude　indignantly。　〃I　never　fainted　in
my　life。〃

〃Yes；　you　did。〃

〃Pardon　me；　Mr。　Trefusis。　I　did　not。〃

〃You　shall　judge　for　yourself。　I　was　coming　through　this　field
when　I　saw　you　gathering　hemlock。　Hemlock　is　interesting　on
account　of　Socrates；　and　you　were　interesting　as　a　young　lady
gathering　poison。　So　I　stopped　to　look　on。　Presently　you　came　out
from　among　the　bushes　as　if　you　had　seen　a　snake　there。　Then　you
fell　into　my　armswhich　led　me　to　suppose　that　you　had
faintedand　Max；　concluding　that　it　was　all　my　fault；　nearly
sprang　at　my　throat。　You　were　overpowered　by　the　scent　of　the
water…hemlock；　which　you　must　have　been　inhaling　for　ten　minutes
or　more。〃

〃I　did　not　know　that　there　was　any　danger；〃　said　Gertrude；
crestfallen。　〃I　felt　very　tired　when　I　came　to。　That　was　why　I
lay　so　long　the　second　time。　I　really　could　not　help　it。〃

〃You　did　not　lie　very　long。〃

〃Not　when　I　first　fell；　that　was　only　a　few　seconds；　I　know。　But
I　must　have　lain　there　nearly　ten　minutes　after　I　recovered。〃

〃You　were　nearly　a　minute　insensible　when　you　first　fell；　and
when　you　recovered　you　only　rested　for　about　one　second。　After
that　you　raved；　and　I　invented　suitable　answers　until　you
suddenly　asked　me　what　I　was　talking　about。〃

Gertrude　reddened　a　little　as　the　possibility　of　her　having　raved
indiscreetly　occurred　to　her。　〃It　was　very　silly　of　me　to　faint；〃
she　said。

〃You　could　not　help　it；　you　are　only　human。　I　shall　walk　with　you
to　the　Beeches。〃

〃Thank　you；　I　will　not　trouble　you；〃　she　said　quickly。

He　shook　his　head。　〃I　do　not　know　how　long　the　effect　of　that
abominable　water…weed　may　last；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　dare　not　leave
you　to　walk　alone。　If　you　prefer　it　I　can　send　you　in　a　trap　with
my　gardener；　but　I　had　rather　accompany　you　myself。〃

〃You　are　giving　yourself　a　great　deal　of　unnecessary　trouble。　I
will　walk。　I　am　quite　well　again　and　need　no　assistance。〃

They　started　without　another　word。　Gertrude　had　to　concentrate
all　her　energy　to　conceal　from　him　that　she　was　giddy。　Numbness
and　lassitude　crept　upon　her；　and　she　was　beginning　to　hope　that
she　was　only　dreaming　it　all　when　he　roused　her　by　saying；

〃Take　my　arm。〃

〃No；　thank　you。〃

〃Do　not　be　so　senselessly　obstinate。　You　will　have　to　lean　on　the
hedge　for　support　if　you　refuse　my　help。　I　am　sorry　I　did　not
insist　on　getting　the　trap。〃

Gertrude　had　not　been　spoken　to　in　this　tone　since　her　childhood。
〃I　am　perfectly　well；〃　she　said　sharply。　〃You　are　really　very
officious。〃

〃You　are　not　perfectly　well；　and　you　know　it。　However；　if　you
make　a　brave　struggle；　you　will　probably　be　able　to　walk　home
without　my　assistance；　and　the　effort　may　do　you　good。〃

〃You　are　very　rude；〃　she　said　peremptorily。

〃I　know　it；〃　he　replied　calmly。　〃You　will　find　three　classes　of
men　polite　to　youslaves；　men　who　think　much　of　their　manners
and　nothing　of　you；　and　your　lovers。　I　am　none　of　these；　and
therefore　give　you　back　your　ill　manners　with　interest。　Why　do
you　resist　your　good　angel　by　suppressing　those　natural　and
sincere　impulses　which　come　to　you　often　enough；　and　sometimes
bring　a　look　into　your　face　that　might　tame　a　beara　look　which
you　hasten　to　extinguish　as　a　thief　darkens　his　lantern　at　the
sound　of　a　footstep。〃

〃Mr。　Trefusis；　I　am　not　accustomed　to　be　lectured。〃

〃That　is　why　I　lecture　you。　I　felt　curious　to　see　how　your　good
breeding；　by　which　I　think　you　set　some　store；　would　serve　you　in
entirely　novel　circumstancesthose　of　a　man　speaking　his　mind　to
you；　for　instance。　What　is　the　result　of　my　experiment？　Instead
of　rebuking　me　with　the　sweetness　and　dignity　which　I　could　not；
in　spite　of　my　past　observation；　help　expecting　from　you；　you
churlishly　repel　my　offer　of　the　assistance　you　need；　tell　me
that　I　am　very　rude；　very　officious；　and；　in　short；　do　what　you
can　to　make　my　position　disagreeable　and　humiliating。〃

She　looked　at　him　haughtily；　but　his　expression　was　void　of
offence　or　fear；　and　he　continued；　unanswered。

〃I　would　bear　all　this　from　a　working　woman　without　remonstrance；
for　she　would　owe　me　no　graces　of　manner　or　morals。　But　you　are　a
lady。　That　means　that　many　have　starved　and　drudged　in　uncleanly
discomfort　in　order　that　you　may　have　white　and　unbroken　hands；
fine　garments；　and　exquisite　mannersthat　you　may　be　a　living
fountain　of　those　influences　that　soften　our　natures　and　lives。
When　such　a　costly　thing　as　a　lady　breaks　down　at　the　first　touch
of　a　firm　hand；　I　feel　justified　in　complaining。〃

Gertrude　walked　on　quickly；　and　said　between　her　teeth；　〃I　don't
want　to　hear　any　of　your　absurd　views；　Mr。　Trefusis。〃

He　laughed。　〃My　unfortunate　views！〃　he　said。　〃Whenever　I　make　an
inconvenient　remark　it　is　always　set　aside　as　an　expression　of
certain　dangerous　crazes　with　which　I　am　supposed　to　be
afflicted。　When　I　point　out　to　Sir　Charles　that　one　of　his
favorite　artists　has　not　accurately　observed　something　before
attempting　to　draw　it；　he　replies；　'You　know　our　views　differ　on
these　things；　Trefusis。'　When　I　told　Miss　Wylie's　guardian　that
his　emigration　scheme　was　little　better　than　a　fraud；　he　said；
'You　must　excuse　me；　but　I　cannot　enter　into　your　peculiar
views。'　One　of　my　views　at　present　is　that　Miss　Lindsay　is　more
amiable　under　the　influence　of　hemlock　than　under　that　of　the
social　system　which　has　made　her　so　unhappy。〃

〃Well！〃　exclaimed　Gertrude；　outraged。　Then；　after　a　pause；　〃I　was
under　the　impression　that　I　had　accepted　the　escort　of　a
gentleman。〃　Then；　after　another　pause；　Trefusis　being　quite
undisturbed；　〃How　do　you　know　that　I　am　unhappy？〃

〃By　a　certain　defect　in　your　countenance；　which　lacks　the
crowning　beauty　of　happiness；　and　a　certain　defect　in　your　voice
which　will　never　disappear　until　you　learn　to　love　or　pity　those
to　whom　you　speak。〃

〃You　are　wrong；〃　said　Gertrude；　with　calm　disdain。　〃You　do　not
understand　me　in　the　least。　I　am　particularly　attached　to　my
friends。〃

〃Then　I　have　never　seen　you　in　their　company。〃

〃You　are　still　wrong。〃

〃Then　how　can　you　speak　as　you　do；　look　as　you　do；　act　as　you
do？〃

〃What　do　you　mean？　HOW　do　I　look　and　act？〃

〃Like　one　of　the　railings　of　Belgrave　Square；　cursed　with
consciousness　of　itself；　fears　of　the　judgment　of　the　other
railings；　and　doubts　of　their　fitness　to　stand　in　the　same　row
with　it。　You　are　cold；　mistrustful；　cruel　to　nervous　or　clumsy
people；　and　more　afraid　of　the　criticisms　of　those　with　whom　you
dance　and　dine　than　of　your　conscience。　All　of　which　prevents　you
from　looking　like　an　angel。〃

〃Thank　you。　Do　you　consider　paying　compliments　the　perfection　of
gentlemanly　behavior？〃

〃Have　I　been　paying　you　many？　That　last　remark　of　mine　was　not
meant　as　one。　On　my　honor；　the　angels　will　not　disappoint　me　if
they　are　no　lovelier　than　you　should　be　if　you　had　that　look　in
your　face　and　that　tone　in　your　voice　I　spoke　of　just　now。　It　can
hardly　displease　you　to　hear　that。　If　I　were　particularly
handsome　myself；　I　should　like　to　be　told　so。〃

〃I　am　sorry　I　cannot　tell　you　so。〃

〃Oh！　Ha！　ha！　What　a　retort；　Miss　Lindsay！　You　are　not　sorry
either；　you　are　rather　glad。〃

Gertrude　knew　it；　and　was　angry　with　herself；　not　because　her
retort　was　false；　but　because　she　thought　it　unladylike。　〃You
have　no　right　to　annoy　me；〃　she　exclaimed；　in　spite　of　herself。

〃None　whatever；〃　he　said；　humbly。　〃　If　I　have　done　so；　for