an unsocial socialist-第34章

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enjoyed　herself　as　best　she　could　with　such　of　the　older　or　more
sensible　men　as　were　not　intolerant　of　girls。

At　best　the　year　was　the　least　happy　she　had　ever　spent。　She
repeatedly　alarmed　her　mother　by　broaching　projects　of　becoming　a
hospital　nurse；　a　public　singer；　or　an　actress。　These　projects
led　to　some　desultory　studies。　In　order　to　qualify　herself　as　a
nurse　she　read　a　handbook　of　physiology；　which　Mrs。　Wylie　thought
so　improper　a　subject　for　a　young　lady　that　she　went　in　tears　to
beg　Mrs。　Jansenius　to　remonstrate　with　her　unruly　girl。　Mrs。
Jansenius；　better　advised；　was　of　opinion　that　the　more　a　woman
knew　the　more　wisely　she　was　likely　to　act；　and　that　Agatha　would
soon　drop　the　physiology　of　her　own　accord。　This　proved　true。
Agatha；　having　finished　her　book　by　dint　of　extensive　skipping；
proceeded　to　study　pathology　from　a　volume　of　clinical　lectures。
Finding　her　own　sensations　exactly　like　those　described　in　the
book　as　symptoms　of　the　direst　diseases；　she　put　it　by　in　alarm；
and　took　up　a　novel；　which　was　free　from　the　fault　she　had　found
in　the　lectures；　inasmuch　as　none　of　the　emotions　it　described　in
the　least　resembled　any　she　had　ever　experienced。

After　a　brief　interval；　she　consulted　a　fashionable　teacher　of
singing　as　to　whether　her　voice　was　strong　enough　for　the
operatic　stage。　He　recommended　her　to　study　with　him　for　six
years；　assuring　her　that　at　the　end　of　that　periodif　she
followed　his　directionsshe　should　be　the　greatest　singer　in　the
world。　To　this　there　was；　in　her　mind；　the　conclusive　objection
that　in　six　years　she　should　be　an　old　woman。　So　she　resolved　to
try　privately　whether　she　could　not　get　on　more　quickly　by
herself。　Meanwhile；　with　a　view　to　the　drama　in　case　her　operatic
scheme　should　fail；　she　took　lessons　in　elocution　and　gymnastics。
Practice　in　these　improved　her　health　and　spirits　so　much　that
her　previous　aspirations　seemed　too　limited。　She　tried　her　hand
at　all　the　arts　in　succession；　but　was　too　discouraged　by　the
weakness　of　her　first　attempts　to　persevere。　She　knew　that　as　a
general　rule　there　are　feeble　and　ridiculous　beginnings　to　all
excellence；　but　she　never　applied　general　rules　to　her　own　case；
still　thinking　of　herself　as　an　exception　to　them；　just　as　she
had　done　when　she　romanced　about　Smilash。　The　illusions　of
adolescence　were　thick　upon　her。

Meanwhile　her　progress　was　creating　anxieties　in　which　she　had　no
share。　Her　paroxysms　of　exhilaration；　followed　by　a　gnawing　sense
of　failure　and　uselessness；　were　known　to　her　mother　only　as
〃wildness〃　and　〃low　spirits；〃　to　be　combated　by　needlework　as　a
sedative；　or　beef　tea　as　a　stimulant。　Mrs。　Wylie　had　learnt　by
rote　that　the　whole　duty　of　a　lady　is　to　be　graceful；　charitable；
helpful；　modest；　and　disinterested　whilst　awaiting　passively
whatever　lot　these　virtues　may　induce。　But　she　had　learnt　by
experience　that　a　lady's　business　in　society　is　to　get　married；
and　that　virtues　and　accomplishments　alike　are　important　only　as
attractions　to　eligible　bachelors。　As　this　truth　is　shameful；
young　ladies　are　left　for　a　year　or　two　to　find　it　out　for
themselves；　it　is　seldom　explicitly　conveyed　to　them　at　their
entry　into　society。　Hence　they　often　throw　away　capital　bargains
in　their　first　season；　and　are　compelled　to　offer　themselves　at
greatly　reduced　prices　subsequently；when　their　attractions　begin
to　stale。　This　was　the　fate　which　Mrs。　Wylie；　warned　by　Mrs。
Jansenius；　feared　for　Agatha；　who；　time　after　time　when　a　callow
gentleman　of　wealth　and　position　was　introduced　to　her；　drove　him
brusquely　away　as　soon　as　he　ventured　to　hint　that　200

his　affections　were　concerned　in　their　acquaintanceship。　The
anxious　mother　had　to　console　herself　with　the　fact　that　her
daughter　drove　away　the　ineligible　as　ruthlessly　as　the　eligible；
formed　no　unworldly　attachments；　was　still　very　young；　and　would
grow　less　coy　as　she　advanced　in　years　and　in　what　Mrs。　Jansenius
called　sense。

But　as　the　seasons　went　by　it　remained　questionable　whether
Agatha　was　the　more　to　be　congratulated　on　having　begun　life
after　leaving　school　or　Henrietta　on　having　finished　it。



CHAPTER　XI

Brandon　Beeches；　in　the　Thames　valley；　was　the　seat　of　Sir
Charles　Brandon；　seventh　baronet　of　that　name。　He　had　lost　his
father　before　attaining　his　majority；　and　had　married　shortly
afterwards；　so　that　in　his　twenty…fifth　year　he　was　father　to
three　children。　He　was　a　little　worn；　in　spite　of　his　youth；　but
he　was　tall　and　agreeable；　had　a　winning　way　of　taking　a　kind　and
soothing　view　of　the　misfortunes　of　others；　could　tell　a　story
well；　liked　music　and　could　play　and　sing　a　little；　loved　the
arts　of　design　and　could　sketch　a　little　in　water　colors；　read
every　magazine　from　London　to　Paris　that　criticised　pictures；　had
travelled　a　little；　fished　a　little；　shot　a　little；　botanized　a
little；　wandered　restlessly　in　the　footsteps　of　women；　and
dissipated　his　energies　through　all　the　small　channels　that　his
wealth　opened　and　his　talents　made　easy　to　him。　He　had　no　large
knowledge　of　any　subject；　though　he　had　looked　into　many　just　far
enough　to　replace　absolute　unconsciousness　of　them　with
measurable　ignorance。　Never　having　enjoyed　the　sense　of
achievement；　he　was　troubled　with　unsatisfied　aspirations　that
filled　him　with　melancholy　and　convinced　him　that　he　was　a　born
artist。　His　wife　found　him　selfish；　peevish；　hankering　after
change；　and　prone　to　believe　that　he　was　attacked　by　dangerous
disease　when　he　was　only　catching　cold。

Lady　Brandon；　who　believed　that　he　understood　all　the　subjects　he
talked　about　because　she　did　not　understand　them　herself；　was　one
of　his　disappointments。　In　person　she　resembled　none　of　the　types
of　beauty　striven　after　by　the　painters　of　her　time；　but　she　had
charms　to　which　few　men　are　insensible。　She　was　tall；　soft；　and
stout；　with　ample　and　shapely　arms；　shoulders；　and　hips。　With　her
small　head；　little　ears；　pretty　lips；　and　roguish　eye；　she；　being
a　very　large　creature；　presented　an　immensity　of　half　womanly；
half　infantile　loveliness　which　smote　even　grave　men　with　a
desire　to　clasp　her　in　their　arms　and　kiss　her。　This　desire　had
scattered　the　desultory　intellectual　culture　of　Sir　Charles　at
first　sight。　His　imagination　invested　her　with　the　taste　for　the
fine　arts　which　ho　required　from　a　wife；　and　he　married　her　in
her　first　season；　only　to　discover　that　the　amativeness　in　her
temperament　was　so　little　and　languid　that　she　made　all　his
attempts　at　fondness　ridiculous；　and　robbed　the　caresses　for
which　he　had　longed　of　all　their　anticipated　ecstasy。
Intellectually　she　fell　still　further　short　of　his　hopes。　She
looked　upon　his　favorite　art　of　painting　as　a　pastime　for　amateur
and　a　branch　of　the　house…furnishing　trade　for　professional
artists。　When　he　was　discussing　it　among　his　friends；　she　would
offer　her　opinion　with　a　presumption　which　was　the　more　trying　as
she　frequently　blundered　upon　a　sound　conclusion　whilst　he　was
reasoning　his　way　to　a　hollow　one　with　his　utmost　subtlety　and
seriousness。　On　such　occasions　his　disgust　did　not　trouble　her　in
the　least；　she　triumphed　in　it。　She　had　concluded　that　marriage
was　a　greater　folly；　and　men　greater　fools；　than　she　had
supposed；　but　such　beliefs　rather　lightened　her　sense　of
responsibility　than　disappointed　her；　and；　as　she　had　plenty　of
money；　plenty　of　servants；　plenty　of　visitors；　and　plenty　of
exercise　on　horseback；　of　which　she　was　immoderately　fond；　her
time　passed　pleasantly　enough。　Comfort　seemed　to　her　the　natural
order　of　life；　trouble　always　surprised　her。　Her　husband's
friends；　who　mistrusted　every　future　hour；　and　found　matter　for
bitter　reflection　in　many　past　ones；　were　to　her　only　examples　of
the　power　of　sedentary　habits　and　excessive　reading　to　make　men
tripped　and　dull。

One　fine　May　morning；　as　she　cantered　along　the　avenue　at　Brandon
Beeches　on　a　powerful　bay　horse；　the　gates　at　the　end　opened　and
a　young　man　sped　through　them　on　a　bicycle。　He　was　of　slight
frame；　with　fine　dark　eyes　and　delicate　nostrils。　When　he
recognized　Lady　Brandon　he　waved　his　cap；　and　when　they　met　he
sprang　from　his　inanimate　steed；　at　which　the　bay　horse　sh