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So¡¡intimate¡¡had¡¡become¡¡this¡¡relation£»¡¡so¡¡efficient¡¡was¡¡the¡¡service¡¡rendered£»¡¡that¡¡its¡¡readers¡¡could¡¡not¡¡be¡¡pried¡¡loose¡¡from¡¡it£»¡¡where¡¡women¡¡were¡¡willing¡¡and¡¡ready£»¡¡when¡¡the¡¡domestic¡¡pinch¡¡came£»¡¡to¡¡let¡¡go¡¡of¡¡other¡¡reading¡¡matter£»¡¡they¡¡explained¡¡to¡¡their¡¡husbands¡¡or¡¡fathers¡¡that¡¡The¡¡Ladies'¡¡Home¡¡Journal¡¡was¡¡a¡¡necessitythey¡¡did¡¡not¡¡feel¡¡that¡¡they¡¡could¡¡do¡¡without¡¡it¡£¡¡The¡¡very¡¡quality¡¡for¡¡which¡¡the¡¡magazine¡¡had¡¡been¡¡held¡¡up¡¡to¡¡ridicule¡¡by¡¡the¡¡unknowing¡¡and¡¡unthinking¡¡had¡¡become£»¡¡with¡¡hundreds¡¡of¡¡thousands¡¡of¡¡women£»¡¡its¡¡source¡¡of¡¡power¡¡and¡¡the¡¡bulwark¡¡of¡¡its¡¡success¡£

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XVII¡£¡¡Eugene¡¡Field's¡¡Practical¡¡Jokes

Eugene¡¡Field¡¡was¡¡one¡¡of¡¡Edward¡¡Bok's¡¡close¡¡friends¡¡and¡¡also¡¡his¡¡despair£»¡¡as¡¡was¡¡likely¡¡to¡¡be¡¡the¡¡case¡¡with¡¡those¡¡who¡¡were¡¡intimate¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Western¡¡poet¡£¡¡One¡¡day¡¡Field¡¡said¡¡to¡¡Bok£º¡¡¡¨I¡¡am¡¡going¡¡to¡¡make¡¡you¡¡the¡¡most¡¡widely¡¡paragraphed¡¡man¡¡in¡¡America¡£¡¨¡¡The¡¡editor¡¡passed¡¡the¡¡remark¡¡over£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡was¡¡to¡¡recall¡¡it¡¡often¡¡as¡¡his¡¡friend¡¡set¡¡out¡¡to¡¡make¡¡his¡¡boast¡¡good¡£

The¡¡fact¡¡that¡¡Bok¡¡was¡¡unmarried¡¡and¡¡the¡¡editor¡¡of¡¡a¡¡woman's¡¡magazine¡¡appealed¡¡strongly¡¡to¡¡Field's¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡humor¡£¡¡He¡¡knew¡¡the¡¡editor's¡¡opposition¡¡to¡¡patent¡¡medicines£»¡¡and¡¡so¡¡he¡¡decided¡¡to¡¡join¡¡the¡¡two¡¡facts¡¡in¡¡a¡¡paragraph£»¡¡put¡¡on¡¡the¡¡wire¡¡at¡¡Chicago£»¡¡to¡¡the¡¡effect¡¡that¡¡the¡¡editor¡¡was¡¡engaged¡¡to¡¡be¡¡married¡¡to¡¡Miss¡¡Lavinia¡¡Pinkham£»¡¡the¡¡granddaughter¡¡of¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Lydia¡¡Pinkham£»¡¡of¡¡patent¡­medicine¡¡fame¡£¡¡The¡¡paragraph¡¡carefully¡¡described¡¡Miss¡¡Pinkham£»¡¡the¡¡school¡¡where¡¡she¡¡had¡¡been¡¡educated£»¡¡her¡¡talents£»¡¡her¡¡wealth£»¡¡etc¡£¡¡Field¡¡was¡¡wise¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡put¡¡the¡¡paragraph¡¡not¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own¡¡column¡¡in¡¡the¡¡Chicago¡¡News£»¡¡lest¡¡it¡¡be¡¡considered¡¡in¡¡the¡¡light¡¡of¡¡one¡¡of¡¡his¡¡practical¡¡jokes£»¡¡but¡¡on¡¡the¡¡news¡¡page¡¡of¡¡the¡¡paper£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡had¡¡it¡¡put¡¡on¡¡the¡¡Associated¡¡Press¡¡wire¡£

He¡¡followed¡¡this¡¡up¡¡a¡¡few¡¡days¡¡later¡¡with¡¡a¡¡paragraph¡¡announcing¡¡Bok's¡¡arrival¡¡at¡¡a¡¡Boston¡¡hotel¡£¡¡Then¡¡came¡¡a¡¡paragraph¡¡saying¡¡that¡¡Miss¡¡Pinkham¡¡was¡¡sailing¡¡for¡¡Paris¡¡to¡¡buy¡¡her¡¡trousseau¡£¡¡The¡¡paragraphs¡¡were¡¡worded¡¡in¡¡the¡¡most¡¡matter¡­of¡­fact¡¡manner£»¡¡and¡¡completely¡¡fooled¡¡the¡¡newspapers£»¡¡even¡¡those¡¡of¡¡Boston¡£¡¡Field¡¡was¡¡delighted¡¡at¡¡the¡¡success¡¡of¡¡his¡¡joke£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡fact¡¡that¡¡Bok¡¡was¡¡in¡¡despair¡¡over¡¡the¡¡letters¡¡that¡¡poured¡¡in¡¡upon¡¡him¡¡added¡¡to¡¡Field's¡¡delight¡£

He¡¡now¡¡asked¡¡Bok¡¡to¡¡come¡¡to¡¡Chicago¡£¡¡¡¨I¡¡want¡¡you¡¡to¡¡know¡¡some¡¡of¡¡my¡¡cronies£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡wrote¡£¡¡¡¨Julia¡¡£§his¡¡wife£§¡¡is¡¡away£»¡¡so¡¡we¡¡will¡¡shift¡¡for¡¡ourselves¡£¡¨¡¡Bok¡¡arrived¡¡in¡¡Chicago¡¡one¡¡Sunday¡¡afternoon£»¡¡and¡¡was¡¡to¡¡dine¡¡at¡¡Field's¡¡house¡¡that¡¡evening¡£¡¡He¡¡found¡¡a¡¡jolly¡¡company£º¡¡James¡¡Whitcomb¡¡Riley£»¡¡Sol¡¡Smith¡¡Russell¡¡the¡¡actor£»¡¡Opie¡¡Read£»¡¡and¡¡a¡¡number¡¡of¡¡Chicago's¡¡literary¡¡men¡£

When¡¡seven¡¡o'clock¡¡came£»¡¡some¡¡one¡¡suggested¡¡to¡¡Field¡¡that¡¡something¡¡to¡¡eat¡¡might¡¡not¡¡be¡¡amiss¡£

¡¨Shortly£»¡¨¡¡answered¡¡the¡¡poet¡£¡¡¡¨Wife¡¡is¡¡out£»¡¡cook¡¡is¡¡new£»¡¡and¡¡dinner¡¡will¡¡be¡¡a¡¡little¡¡late¡£¡¡Be¡¡patient¡£¡¨¡¡But¡¡at¡¡eight¡¡o'clock¡¡there¡¡was¡¡still¡¡no¡¡dinner¡£¡¡Riley¡¡began¡¡to¡¡grow¡¡suspicious¡¡and¡¡slipped¡¡down¡­stairs¡£¡¡He¡¡found¡¡no¡¡one¡¡in¡¡the¡¡kitchen¡¡and¡¡the¡¡range¡¡cold¡£¡¡He¡¡came¡¡back¡¡and¡¡reported¡£¡¡¡¨Nonsense£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Field¡£¡¡¡¨It¡¡can't¡¡be¡£¡¨¡¡All¡¡went¡¡down¡­stairs¡¡to¡¡find¡¡out¡¡the¡¡truth¡£¡¡¡¨Let's¡¡get¡¡supper¡¡ourselves£»¡¨¡¡suggested¡¡Russell¡£¡¡Then¡¡it¡¡was¡¡discovered¡¡that¡¡not¡¡a¡¡morsel¡¡of¡¡food¡¡was¡¡to¡¡be¡¡found¡¡in¡¡the¡¡refrigerator£»¡¡closet£»¡¡or¡¡cellar¡£¡¡¡¨That's¡¡a¡¡joke¡¡on¡¡us£»¡¨¡¡said¡¡Field¡£¡¡¡¨Julia¡¡has¡¡left¡¡us¡¡without¡¡a¡¡crumb¡¡to¡¡eat¡£

It¡¡was¡¡then¡¡nine¡¡o'clock¡£¡¡Riley¡¡and¡¡Bok¡¡held¡¡a¡¡council¡¡of¡¡war¡¡and¡¡decided¡¡to¡¡slip¡¡out¡¡and¡¡buy¡¡some¡¡food£»¡¡only¡¡to¡¡find¡¡that¡¡the¡¡front£»¡¡basement£»¡¡and¡¡back¡¡doors¡¡were¡¡locked¡¡and¡¡the¡¡keys¡¡missing£¡¡¡Field¡¡was¡¡very¡¡sober¡£¡¡¡¨Thorough¡¡woman£»¡¡that¡¡wife¡¡of¡¡mine£»¡¨¡¡he¡¡commented¡£¡¡But¡¡his¡¡friends¡¡knew¡¡better¡£

Finally£»¡¡the¡¡Hoosier¡¡poet¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Philadelphia¡¡editor¡¡crawled¡¡through¡¡one¡¡of¡¡the¡¡basement¡¡windows¡¡and¡¡started¡¡on¡¡a¡¡foraging¡¡expedition¡£¡¡Of¡¡course£»¡¡Field¡¡lived¡¡in¡¡a¡¡residential¡¡section¡¡where¡¡there¡¡were¡¡few¡¡stores£»¡¡and¡¡on¡¡Sunday¡¡these¡¡were¡¡closed¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡nothing¡¡to¡¡do¡¡but¡¡to¡¡board¡¡a¡¡down¡­town¡¡car¡£¡¡Finally¡¡they¡¡found¡¡a¡¡delicatessen¡¡shop¡¡open£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡two¡¡hungry¡¡men¡¡amazed¡¡the¡¡proprietor¡¡by¡¡nearly¡¡buying¡¡out¡¡his¡¡stock¡£

It¡¡was¡¡after¡¡ten¡¡o'clock¡¡when¡¡Riley¡¡and¡¡Bok¡¡got¡¡back¡¡to¡¡the¡¡house¡¡with¡¡their¡¡load¡¡of¡¡provisions¡¡to¡¡find¡¡every¡¡door¡¡locked£»¡¡every¡¡curtain¡¡drawn£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡bolt¡¡sprung¡¡on¡¡every¡¡window¡£¡¡Only¡¡the¡¡cellar¡¡grating¡¡remained£»¡¡and¡¡through¡¡this¡¡the¡¡two¡¡dropped¡¡their¡¡bundles¡¡and¡¡themselves£»¡¡and¡¡appeared¡¡in¡¡the¡¡dining¡­room£»¡¡dirty¡¡and¡¡dishevelled£»¡¡to¡¡find¡¡the¡¡party¡¡at¡¡table¡¡enjoying¡¡a¡¡supper¡¡which¡¡Field¡¡had¡¡carefully¡¡hidden¡¡and¡¡brought¡¡out¡¡when¡¡they¡¡had¡¡left¡¡the¡¡house¡£

Riley£»¡¡cold¡¡and¡¡hungry£»¡¡and¡¡before¡¡this¡¡time¡¡the¡¡victim¡¡of¡¡Field's¡¡practical¡¡jokes£»¡¡was¡¡not¡¡in¡¡a¡¡merry¡¡humor¡¡and¡¡began¡¡to¡¡recite¡¡paraphrases¡¡of¡¡Field's¡¡poems¡£¡¡Field¡¡retorted¡¡by¡¡paraphrasing¡¡Riley's¡¡poems£»¡¡and¡¡mimicking¡¡the¡¡marked¡¡characteristics¡¡of¡¡Riley's¡¡speech¡£¡¡This¡¡started¡¡Sol¡¡Smith¡¡Russell£»¡¡who¡¡mimicked¡¡both¡£¡¡The¡¡fun¡¡grew¡¡fast¡¡and¡¡furious£»¡¡the¡¡entire¡¡company¡¡now¡¡took¡¡part£»¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Field's¡¡dresses¡¡were¡¡laid¡¡under¡¡contribution£»¡¡and¡¡Field£»¡¡Russell£»¡¡and¡¡Riley¡¡gave¡¡an¡¡impromptu¡¡play¡£¡¡And¡¡it¡¡was¡¡upon¡¡this¡¡scene¡¡that¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Field£»¡¡after¡¡a¡¡continuous¡¡ringing¡¡of¡¡the¡¡door¡­bell¡¡and¡¡nearly¡¡battering¡¡down¡¡the¡¡door£»¡¡appeared¡¡at¡¡seven¡¡o'clock¡¡t

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