a tale of two cities(双城记)-第51章

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　‘Upon　my　life；'　said　Carton；　smiling；　‘I　find　that　easier　to　comprehend　in　my　own　mind；　than　to　convey　to　yours。　However；　let　me　try。　You　remember　a　certain　famous　occasion　when　I　was　more　drunk　thanthan　usual？'　
　‘I　remember　a　certain　famous　occasion　when　you　forced　me　to　confess　that　you　had　been　drinking。'　
　‘I　remember　it　too。　The　curse　of　those　occasions　is　heavy　upon　me；　for　I　always　remember　them。　I　hope　it　may　be　taken　into　account　one　day；　when　all　days　are　at　an　end　for　me！　Don't　be　alarmed；　I　am　not　going　to　preach。'　
　‘I　am　not　at　all　alarmed。　Earnestness　in　you　is　anything　but　alarming　to　me。'　
　‘Ah！'　said　Carton；　with　a　careless　wave　of　his　hand；　as　if　he　waved　that　away。　‘On　the　drunken　occasion　in　question　（one　of　a　large　number；　as　you　know）；　I　was　insufferable　about　liking　you；　and　not　liking　you。　I　wish　you　would　forget　it。'　
　‘I　forgot　it　long　ago。'　
　‘Fashion　of　speech　again！　But；　Mr。　Darnay；　oblivion　is　not　so　easy　to　me；　as　you　represent　it　to　be　to　you。　I　have　by　no　means　forgotten　it；　and　a　light　answer　does　not　help　me　to　forget　it。'　
　‘If　it　was　a　light　answer；'　returned　Darnay；　‘I　beg　your　forgiveness　for　it。　I　had　no　other　object　than　to　turn　a　slight　thing；　which；　to　my　surprise；　seems　to　trouble　you　too　much；　aside。　I　declare　to　you　on　the　faith　of　a　gentleman；　that　I　have　long　dismissed　it　from　my　mind。　Good　Heaven；　what　was　there　to　dismiss！　Have　I　had　nothing　more　important　to　remember；　in　the　great　service　you　rendered　me　that　day？'　
　‘As　to　the　great　service；'　said　Carton；　‘I　am　bound　to　avow　to　you；　when　you　speak　of　it　in　that　way；　that　it　was　mere　professional　claptrap。　I　don't　know　that　I　cared　what　became　of　you；　when　I　rendered　It。Mind！　I　say　when　I　rendered　it；　I　am　speaking　of　the　past。'　
　‘You　make　light　of　the　obligation；'　returned　Darnay；　‘but　I　will　not　quarrel　with　your　light　answer。'　
　‘Genuine　truth；　Mr。　Darnay；　trust　me！　I　have　gone　aside　from　my　purpose；　I　was　speaking　about　our　being　friends。　Now；　you　know　me；　you　know　I　am　incapable　of　all　the　higher　and　better　flights　of　men。　If　you　doubt　it；　ask　Stryver；　and　he'll　tell　you　so。'　
　‘I　prefer　to　form　my　own　opinion；　without　the　aid　of　his。'　
　‘Well！　At　any　rate　you　know　me　as　a　dissolute　dog　who　has　never　done　any　good；　and　never　will。'　
　‘I　don't　know　that　you　〃never　will。〃'　
　‘But　I　do；　and　you　must　take　my　word　for　it。　Well！　If　you　could　endure　to　have　such　a　worthless　fellow；　and　a　fellow　of　such　indifferent　reputation；　coming　and　going　at　odd　times；　I　should　ask　that　I　might　be　permitted　to　come　and　go　as　a　privileged　person　here；　that　I　might　be　regarded　as　an　useless　（and　I　would　add；　if　it　were　not　for　the　resemblance　I　detected　between　you　and　me）；　an　unornamental；　piece　of　furniture；　tolerated　for　its　old　service；　and　taken　no　notice　of。　I　doubt　if　I　should　abuse　the　permission。　It　is　a　hundred　to　one　if　I　should　avail　myself　of　it　four　times　in　a　year。　It　would　satisfy　me；　I　dare　say；　to　know　that　I　had　it。'　
　‘Will　you　try？'　
　‘That　is　another　way　of　saying　that　I　am　placed　on　the　footing　I　have　indicated。　I　thank　you；　Darnay。　I　may　use　that　freedom　with　your　name？'　
　‘I　think　so；　Carton；　by　this　time。'　
　They　shook　hands　upon　it；　and　Sydney　turned　away。　Within　a　minute　afterwards；　he　was；　to　all　outward　appearance；　as　unsubstantial　as　ever。　
　When　he　has　gone；　and　in　the　course　of　an　evening　passed　with　Miss　Pross；　the　Doctor；　and　Mr。　Lorry；　Charles　Darnay　made　some　mention　of　this　conversation　in　general　terms；　and　spoke　of　Sydney　Carton　as　a　problem　of　carelessness　and　recklessness。　He　spoke　of　him；　in　short；　not　bitterly　or　meaning　to　bear　hard　upon　him；　but　as　anybody　might　who　saw　him　as　he　showed　himself。　
　He　had　no　idea　that　this　could　dwell　in　the　thoughts　of　his　fair　young　wife；　but；　when　he　afterwards　joined　her　in　their　own　rooms；　he　found　her　waiting　for　him　with　the　old　pretty　lifting　of　the　forehead　strongly　marked。　
　‘We　are　thoughtful　to…night！'　said　Darnay；　drawing　his　arm　about　her。　
　‘Yes；　dearest　Charles；'　with　her　hands　on　his　breast；　and　the　inquiring　and　attentive　expression　fixed　upon　him；　‘we　are　rather　thoughtful　to…night；　for　we　have　something　on　our　mind　to…night。'　
　‘What　is　it；　my　Lucie？'　
　‘Will　you　promise　not　to　press　one　question　on　me；　if　I　beg　you　not　to　ask　it？'　
　〃Will　I　promise？　What　will　I　not　promise　to　my　Love？'　
　What；　indeed；　with　his　hand　putting　aside　the　golden　hair　from　the　cheek；　and　his　other　hand　against　the　heart　that　beat　for　him！　
　‘I　think；　Charles；　poor　Mr。　Carton　deserves　more　consideration　and　respect　than　you　expressed　for　him　to…night。'　
　‘Indeed；　my　own？　Why　so？'　
　‘That　is　what　you　are　not　to　ask　me？　But　I　thinkI　knowhe　does。'　
　‘If　you　know　it；　it　is　enough。　What　would　you　have　me　do；　my　Life？'　
　‘I　would　ask　you；　dearest；　to　be　very　generous　with　him　always；　and　very　lenient　on　his　faults　when　he　is　not　by。　I　would　ask　you　to　believe　that　he　has　a　heart　he　very；　very　seldom　reveals；　and　that　there　are　deep　wounds　in　it。　My　dear；　I　have　seen　it　bleeding。'　
　‘It　is　a　painful　reflection　to　me；　said　Charles　Darnay；　quite　astounded；　‘that　I　should　have　done　him　any　wrong。　I　never　thought　this　of　him。'　
　‘My　husband；　it　is　so。　I　fear　he　is　not　to　be　reclaimed；　there　is　scarcely　a　hope　that　anything　in　his　character　or　fortunes　is　reparable　now。　But；　I　am　sure　that　he　is　capable　of　good　things；　gentle　things；　even　magnanimous　things。'　
She　looked　so　beautiful　in　the　purity　of　her　faith　in　this　lost　man；　that　her　husband　could　have　looked　at　her　as　she　was　for　hours。　
　‘And；　O　my　dearest　Love！'　she　urged；　clinging　nearer　to　him；　laying　her　head　upon　his　breast；　and　raising　her　eyes　to　his；　‘remember　how　strong　we　are　in　our　happiness；　and　how　weak　he　is　in　his　misery！'　
　The　supplication　touched　him　home。　‘I　will　always　remember　it；　dear　Heart！　I　will　remember　it　as　long　as　I　live。'　
　He　bent　over　the　golden　head；　and　put　the　rosy　lips　to　his；　and　folded　her　in　his　arms。　If　one　forlorn　wanderer　then　pacing　the　dark　streets；　could　have　heard　her　innocent　disclosure；　and　could　have　seen　the　drops　of　pity　kissed　away　by　her　husband　from　the　soft　blue　eyes　so　loving　of　that　husband；　he　might　have　cried　to　the　nightand　the　words　would　not　have　parted　from　his　lips　for　the　first　time　
　‘God　bless　her　for　her　sweet　compassion！'　


CHAPTER　XXI
Echoing　Footsteps
A　WONDERFUL　corner　for　echoes；　it　has　been　remarked；　that　corner　where　the　Doctor　lived。　Ever　busily　winding　the　golden　thread　which　bound　her　husband；　and　her　father；　and　herself；　and　her　old　directress　and　companion；　in　a　life　of　quiet　bliss；　Lucie　sat　in　the　still　house　in　the　tranquilly　resounding　corner；　listening　to　the　echoing　footsteps　of　years。　
　At　first；　there　were　times；　though　she　was　a　perfectly　happy　young　wife；　when　her　work　would　slowly　fall　from　her　hands；　and　her　eyes　would　be　dimmed。　For；　there　was　something　coming　in　the　echoes；　something　light；　afar　off；　and　scarcely　audible　yet；　that　stirred　her　heart　too　much。　Fluttering　hopes　and　doubtshope；　of　a　love　as　yet　unknown　to　her：　doubts；　of　her　remaining　upon　earth；　to　enjoy　that　new　delightdivided　her　breast。　Among　the　echoes　then；　there　would　arise　the　sound　of　footsteps　at　her　own　early　grave；　and　thoughts　of　the　husband　who　would　be　left　so　desolate；　and　who　would　mourn　for　her　so　much；　swelled　to　her　eyes；　and　broke　like　waves。　
　That　time　passed；　and　her　little　Lucie　lay　on　her　bosom。　Then；　among　the　advancing　echoes；　there　was　the　tread　of　her　tiny　feet　and　the　sound　of　her　prattling　words。　Let　greater　echoes　resound　as　they　would；　the　young　mother　at　the　cradle　side　could　always　hear　those　coming。　They　came；　and　the　shady　house　was　sunny　with　a　child's　laugh；　and　the　Divine　friend　of　children；　to　whom　in　her　trouble　she　had　confided　hers；　seemed　to　take　her　child　in　His　arms；　as　He　took　the　child　of　old；　and　made　it　a　sacred　joy　to　her。　
　Ever　busily　winding　the　golden　thread　that　bound　them　all　together；　weaving　the　service　of　her　happy　influence　through　the　tissue　of　all　their　lives；　and　making　it　predominate　nowhere；　Lucie　heard　in　the　echoes　of　years　none　but　friendly　and　soothing　sounds。　Her　husband's　step　was　strong　and　prosperous　among　them；　her　father's　firm　and　equal。　Lo；　Miss　Pross