a tale of two cities(双城记)-第50章

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able　to　bear　it。'　
　‘Would　he　remember　what　took　place　in　the　relapse？'　asked　Mr。　Lorry；　with　natural　hesitation。　
　The　Doctor　looked　desolately　round　the　room；　shook　his　head；　and　answered；　in　a　low　voice；　‘Not　at　all。'　
　‘Now；　as　to　the　future；'　hinted　Mr。　Lorry。　
　‘As　to　the　future；'　said　the　Doctor；　recovering　firmness；　‘I　should　have　great　hope。　As　it　pleased　Heaven　in　its　mercy　to　restore　him　so　soon；　I　should　have　great　hope。　He；　yielding　under　the　pressure　of　a　complicated　something；　long　dreaded　and　long　vaguely　foreseen　and　contended　against；　and　recovering　after　the　cloud　had　burst　and　passed；　I　should　hope　that　the　worst　was　over。'　
　‘Well；　well！　That's　good　comfort。　I　am　thankful！'　said　Mr。　Lorry。　
　‘I　am　thankful！'　repeated　the　Doctor；　bending　his　head　with　reverence。　
　‘There　are　two　other　points；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　‘on　which　I　am　anxious　to　be　instructed。　I　may　go　on？　
　‘You　cannot　do　your　friend　a　better　service。'　The　Doctor　gave　him　his　hand。　
　‘To　the　first；　then。　He　is　of　a　studious　habit；　and　unusually　energetic；　he　applies　himself　with　great　ardour　to　the　acquisition　of　professional　knowledge；　to　the　conducting　of　experiments；　to　many　things。　Now；　does　he　do　too　much？'　
　‘I　think　not。　It　may　be　the　character　of　his　mind；　to　be　always　in　singular　need　of　occupation。　That　may　be；　in　part；　natural　to　it；　in　part；　the　result　of　affliction。　The　less　it　was　occupied　with　healthy　things；　the　more　it　would　be　in　danger　of　turning　in　the　unhealthy　direction。　He　may　have　observed　himself；　and　made　the　discovery。'　
　‘You　are　sure　that　he　is　not　under　too　great　a　strain？'　
‘I　think　I　am　quite　sure　of　it。'　
‘My　dear　Manette；　if　he　were　overworked　now'　
　‘My　dear　Lorry；　I　doubt　if　that　could　easily　be。　There　has　been　a　violent　stress　in　one　direction；　and　it　needs　a　counter…weight。'　
　‘Excuse　me；　as　a　persistent　man　of　business。　Assuming　for　a　moment；　that　he　was　overworked；　it　would　show　itself　in　some　renewal　of　this　disorder？'　
　‘I　do　not　think　so。　I　do　not　think；'　said　Doctor　Manette　with　the　firmness　of　self…conviction；　‘that　anything　but　the　one　train　of　association　would　renew　it。　I　think　that；　hence…forth；　nothing　but　some　extraordinary　jarring　of　that　chord　could　renew　it。　Alter　what　has　happened；　and　after　his　recovery；　I　find　it　difficult　to　imagine　any　such　violent　sounding　of　that　string　again。　I　trust；　and　I　almost　believe；　that　the　circumstances　likely　to　renew　it　are　exhausted。'　
　He　spoke　with　the　diffidence　of　a　man　who　knew　how　slight　a　thing　would　overset　the　delicate　organisation　of　the　mind；　and　yet　with　the　confidence　of　a　man　who　had　slowly　won　his　assurance　out　of　personal　endurance　and　distress。　It　was　not　for　his　friend　to　abate　that　confidence。　He　professed　himself　more　relieved　and　encouraged　than　he　really　was；　and　approached　his　second　and　last　point。　He　felt　it　to　be　the　most　difficult　of　all；　but；　remembering　his　old　Sunday　morning　conversation　with　Miss　Pross；　and　remembering　what　he　had　seen　in　the　last　nine　days；　he　knew　that　he　must　face　it。　
　‘The　occupation　resumed　under　the　influence　of　this　passing　affliction　so　happily　recovered　from；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　clearing　his　throat；　‘we　will　call…Blacksmith's　work；　Blacksmith's　work。　We　will　say；　to　put　a　case　and　for　the　sake　of　illustration；　that　he　had　been　used；　in　his　bad　time；　to　work　at　a　little　forge。　We　will　say　that　he　was　unexpectedly　found　at　his　forge　again。　Is　it　not　a　pity　that　he　should　keep　it　by　him？'　
　The　Doctor　shaded　his　forehead　with　his　hand；　and　beat　his　foot　nervously　on　the　ground。　
　‘He　has　always　kept　it　by　him；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　with　an　anxious　look　at　his　friend。　‘Now；　would　it　not　be　better　that　he　should　let　it　go？'　
　Still；　the　Doctor；　with　shaded　forehead；　beat　his　foot　nervously　on　the　ground。　
　‘You　do　not　find　it　easy　to　advise　me？'　said　Mr。　Lorry。　
‘I　quite　understand　it　to　be　a　nice　question。　And　yet　I　think…'　And　there　he　shook　his　head；　and　stopped。　
　‘You　see；'　said　Doctor　Manette；　turning　to　him　after　an　uneasy　pause；　‘it　is　very　hard　to　explain；　consistently；　the　innermost　workings　of　this　poor　man's　mind。　He　once　yearned　so　frightfully　for　that　occupation；　and　it　was　so　welcome　when　it　came；　no　doubt　it　relieved　his　pain　so　much；　by　substituting　the　perplexity　of　the　fingers　for　the　perplexity　of　the　brain；　and　by　substituting；　as　he　became　more　practised；　the　ingenuity　of　the　hands；　for　the　ingenuity　of　the　mental　torture；　that　he　has　never　been　able　to　bear　the　thought　of　putting　it　quite　out　of　his　reach。　Even　now；　when　I　believe　he　is　more　hopeful　of　himself　than　he　has　ever　been；　and　even　speaks　of　himself　with　a　kind　of　confidence；　the　idea　that　he　might　need　that　old　employment；　and　not　find　it；　gives　him　a　sudden　sense　of　terror；　like　that　which　one　may　fancy　strikes　to　the　heart　of　a　lost　child。'　
　He　looked　like　his　illustration；　as　he　raised　his　eyes　to　Mr。　Lob's　face。　‘But　may　notmind！　I　ask　for　information；　as　a　plodding　man　of　business　who　only　deals　with　such　material　objects　as　guineas；　shillings；　and　bank…notesmay　not　the　retention　of　the　thing　involve　the　retention　of　the　idea？　If　the　thing　were　gone；　my　dear　Manette；　might　not　the　fear　go　with　it？　In　short；　is　it　not　a　concession　to　the　misgiving；　to　keep　the　forge？'　
　There　was　another　silence。　
　‘You　see；　too；'　said　the　Doctor；　tremulously；　‘it　is　such　an　old　companion。'　
　‘I　would　not　keep　it；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　shaking　his　head；　for　he　gained　in　firmness　as　he　saw　the　Doctor　disquieted。　‘I　would　recommend　him　to　sacrifice　it。　I　only　want　your　authority。　I　am　sure　it　does　no　good。　Come！　Give　me　your　authority；　like　a　dear　good　man。　For　his　daughter's　sake；　my　dear　Manette！'　
　Very　strange　to　see　what　a　struggle　there　was　within　him！　‘In　her　name；　then；　let　it　be　done；　I　sanction　it。　But；　I　would　not　take　it　away　while　he　was　present。　Let　it　be　removed　when　he　is　not　there；　let　him　miss　his　old　companion　after　an　absence。'　
　Mr。　Lorry　readily　engaged　for　that；　and　the　conference　was　ended。　They　passed　the　day　in　the　country；　and　the　Doctor　was　quite　restored。　On　the　three　following　days　he　remained　perfectly　well；　and　on　the　fourteenth　day　he　went　away　to　join　Lucie　and　her　husband。　The　precaution　that　had　been　taken　to　account　for　his　silence；　Mr。　Lorry　had　previously　explained　to　him；　and　he　had　written　to　Lucie　in　accordance　with　it；　and　she　had　no　suspicions。　
　On　the　night　of　the　day　on　which　he　left　the　house；　Mr。　Lorry　went　into　his　room　with　a　chopper；　saw；　chisel；　and　hammer；　attended　by　Miss　Pross　carrying　a　light。　There；　with　closed　doors；　and　in　a　mysterious　and　guilty　manner；　Mr。　Lorry　hacked　the　shoemaker's　bench　to　pieces；　while　Miss　Pross　held　the　candle　as　if　she　were　assisting　at　a　murderor　which；　indeed；　in　her　grimness；　she　was　no　unsuitable　figure。　The　burning　of　the　body　（previously　reduced　to　pieces　convenient　for　the　purpose）　was　commenced　without　delay　in　the　kitchen　fire；　and　the　tools；　shoes；　and　leather；　were　buried　in　the　garden。　So　wicked　do　destruction　and　secrecy　appear　to　honest　minds；　that　Mr。　Lorry　and　Miss　Pross；　while　enraged　in　the　commission　of　their　deed　and　in　the　removal　of　its　traces；　almost　felt；　and　almost　looked；　like　accomplices　in　a　horrible　crime。　


CHAPTER　XX
A　Plea
WHEN　the　newly…married　pair　came　home；　the　first　person　who　appeared；　to　offer　his　congratulations；　was　Sydney　Carton。　They　had　not　been　at　home　many　hours；　when　he　presented　himself。　He　was　not　improved　in　habits；　or　in　looks；　or　in　manner；　but　there　was　a　certain　rugged　air　of　fidelity　about　him；　which　was　new　to　the　observation　of　Charles　Darnay。　
　He　watched　his　opportunity　of　taking　Darnay　aside　into　a　window；　and　of　speaking　to　him　when　no　one　overheard。　
　‘Mr。　Darnay；'　said　Carton；　‘I　wish　we　might　be　friends。'　
‘We　are　already　friends；　I　hope。'　
　‘You　are　good　enough　to　say　so；　as　a　fashion　of　speech；　hut；　I　don't　mean　any　fashion　of　speech。　Indeed；　when　I　say　I　wish　we　might　be　friends；　I　scarcely　mean　quite　that；　either。'　
　Charles　DarnayAs　was　naturalAsked　him；　in　all　good…humour　and　good…fellowship；　what　he　did　mean？　
　‘Upon　my　life；'　said　Carton；　smiling；　‘I　find　that　easier　to　comprehend　in　my　own　mind；　than　to　convey　to　yours。　However；　let　me　try。　You　remember　a　certa