a tale of two cities(双城记)-第49章

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An　Opinion
　
WORN　out　by　anxious　watching；　Mr。　Lorry　fell　asleep　at　his　post。　On　the　tenth　morning　of　his　suspense；　he　was　startled　by　the　shining　of　the　sun　into　the　room　where　a　heavy　slumber　had　overtaken　him　when　it　was　dark　night。　
　He　rubbed　his　eyes　and　roused　himself；　but　he　doubted；　when　he　had　done　so；　whether　he　was　not　still　asleep。　For；　going　to　the　door　of　the　Doctor's　room　and　looking　in；　he　perceived　that　the　shoemaker's　bench　and　tools　were　put　aside　again；　and　that　the　Doctor　himself　sat　reading　at　the　window。　He　was　in　his　usual　morning　dress；　and　his　face　（which　Mr。　Lorry　could　distinctly　see）；　though　still　very　pale；　was　calmly　studious　and　attentive。　
　Even　when　he　had　satisfied　himself　that　he　was　awake；　Mr。　Lorry　felt　giddily　uncertain　for　some　few　moments　whether　the　late　shoemaking　might　not　be　a　disturbed　dream　of　his　own；　for；　did　not　his　eyes　show　him　his　friend　before　him　in　his　accustomed　clothing　and　aspect；　and　employed　as　usual；　and　was　there　any　sign　within　their　range；　that　the　change　of　which　he　had　so　strong　an　impression　had　actually　happened？　
　It　was　but　the　inquiry　of　his　first　confusion　and　astonishment；　the　answer　being　obvious。　If　the　impression　were　not　produced　by　a　real　corresponding　and　sufficient　cause；　how　came　he；　Jarvis　Lorry；　there？　How　came　he　to　have　fallen　asleep；　in　his　clothes；　on　the　sofa　in　Dr。　Manette's　consulting…room；　and　to　be　debating　these　points　outside　the　Doctor's　bedroom　door　in　the　early　morning？　
　Within　a　few　minutes；　Miss　Pross　stood　whispering　at　his　side。　If　he　had　had　any　particle　of　doubt　left；　her　talk　would　of　necessity　have　resolved　it；　but　he　was　by　that　time　clearheaded；　and　had　none。　He　advised　that　they　should　let　the　time　go　by　until　the　regular　breakfast…hour；　and　should　then　meet　the　Doctor　as　if　nothing　unusual　had　occurred。　If　he　appeared　to　be　in　his　customary　state　of　mind；　Mr。　Lorry　would　then　cautiously　proceed　to　seek　direction　and　guidance　from　the　opinion　he　had　been；　in　his　anxiety；　so　anxious　to　obtain。　
Miss　Pross　submitting　herself　to　his　judgment；　the　scheme　was　worked　out　with　care。　Having　abundance　of　time　for　his　usual　methodical　toilette；　Mr。　Lorry　presented　himself　at　the　breakfast…hour　in　his　usual　white　linen；　and　with　his　usual　neat　leg。　The　Doctor　was　summoned　in　the　usual　way；　and　came　to　breakfast。　
　So　far　as　it　was　possible　to　comprehend　him　without　overstepping　those　delicate　and　gradual　approaches　which　Mr。　Lorry　felt　to　be　the　only　safe　advance；　he　at　first　supposed　that　his　daughter's　marriage　had　taken　place　yesterday。　An　incidental　allusion；　purposely　thrown　out；　to　the　day　of　the　week；　and　the　day　of　the　month；　set　him　thinking　and　counting；　and　evidently　made　him　uneasy。　In　all　other　respects；　however；　he　was　so　composedly　himself；　that　Mr。　Lorry　determined　to　have　the　aid　he　sought。　And　that　aid　was　his　own。　
　Therefore；　when　the　breakfast　was　done　and　cleared　away；　and　he　and　the　Doctor　were　left　together；　Mr。　Lorry　said；　feelingly：　
　‘My　dear　Manette；　I　am　anxious　to　have　your　opinion；　in　confidence；　on　a　very　curious　case　in　which　I　am　deeply　interested；　that　is　to　say；　it　is　very　curious　to　me；　perhaps；　to　your　better　information　it　may　be　less　so。'　
　Glancing　at　his　hands；　which　were　discoloured　by　his　late　work；　the　Doctor　looked　troubled；　and　listened　attentively。　He　had　already　glanced　at　his　hands　more　than　once。　
　‘Doctor　Manette；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　touching　him　affectionately　on　the　arm；　‘the　case　is　the　case　of　a　particularly　dear　friend　of　mine。　Pray　give　your　mind　to　it；　and　advise　me　well　for　his　sakeand　above　all；　for　his　daughter'shis　daughter's；　my　dear　Manette。'　
　‘If　I　understand；'　said　the　Doctor；　in　a　subdued　tone；　‘some　mental　shock…？'　
　‘Yes！'　
　‘Be　explicit；'　said　the　Doctor。　‘Spare　no　detail。'　
　Mr。　Lorry　saw　that　they　understood　one　another；　and　proceeded。　
　‘My　dear　Manette；　it　is　the　case　of　an　old　and　a　prolonged　shock；　of　great　acuteness　and　severity　to　the　affections；　the　feelings；　thetheas　you　express　itthe　mind。　The　mind。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　under　which　the　sufferer　was　borne　down；　one　cannot　say　for　how　long；　because　I　believe　he　cannot　calculate　the　time　himself；　and　there　are　no　other　means　of　getting　at　it。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　from　which　the　sufferer　recovered；　by　a　process　that　he　cannot　trace　himselfas　I　once　heard　him　publicly　relate　in　a　striking　manner。　It　is　the　case　of　a　shock　from　which　he　has　recovered；　so　completely；　as　to　be　a　highly　intelligent　man；　capable　of　close　application　of　mind；　and　great　exertion　of　body；　and　of　constantly　making　fresh　additions　to　his　stock　of　knowledge；　which　was　already　very　large。　But；　unfortunately；　there　has　been'he　paused　add　took　a　deep　breath‘a　slight　relapse。'　
　The　Doctor；　in　a　low　voice；　asked；　‘Of　how　long　duration？'　
‘Nine　days　and　nights。'　
　‘How　did　it　show　itself？　I　infer；'　glancing　at　his　hands　again；　‘in　the　resumption　of　some　old　pursuit　connected　with　the　shock？'　
　‘That　is　the　fact。'　
　‘Now；　did　you　ever　see　him；'　asked　the　Doctor；　distinctly　and　collectedly；　though　in　the　same　low　voice；　‘engaged　in　that　pursuit　originally？'　
　‘Once。'　
　‘And　when　the　relapse　fell　on　him；　was　he　in　most　respectsor　in　all　respectsas　he　was　then？'　
　‘I　think　in　all　respects。'　
　‘You　spoke　of　his　daughter。　Does　his　daughter　know　of　the　relapse？'　
　‘No。　It　has　been　kept　from　her；　and　I　hope　will　always　be　kept　from　her。　It　is　known　only　to　myself；　and　to　one　other　who　may　be　trusted。'　
　The　Doctor　grasped　his　hand；　and　murmured；　‘That　was　very　kind。　That　was　very　thoughtful！'　Mr。　Lorry　grasped　his　hand　in　return；　and　neither　of　the　two　spoke　for　a　little　while。　
　‘Now；　my　dear　Manette；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　at　length；　in　his　most　considerate　and　most　affectionate　way；　‘I　am　a　mere　man　of　business；　and　unfit　to　cope　with　such　intricate　and　difficult　matters。　I　do　not　possess　the　kind　of　information　necessary；　I　do　not　possess　the　kind　of　intelligence；　I　want　guiding。　There　is　no　man　in　this　world　on　whom　I　could　so　rely　for　right　guidance；　as　on　you。　Tell　me；　how　does　this　relapse　come　about？　Is　there　danger　of　another？　Could　a　repetition　of　it　be　prevented？　How　should　a　repetition　of　it　be　treated？　How　does　it　come　about　at　all？　What　can　I　do　for　my　friend？　No　man　ever　can　have　been　more　desirous　in　his　heart　to　serve　a　friend；　than　I　am　to　serve　mine；　if　I　knew　how。　But　I　don't　know　how　to　originate；　in　such　a　case。　If　your　sagacity；　knowledge；　and　experience；　could　put　me　on　the　right　track；　I　might　be　able　to　do　so　much；　unenlightened　and　undirected；　I　can　do　so　little。　Pray　discuss　it　with　me；　pray　enable　me　to　see　it　a　little　more　clearly；　and　teach　me　how　to　be　a　little　more　useful。'　
　Doctor　Manette　sat　meditating　after　these　earnest　words　were　spoken；　and　Mr。　Lorry　did　not　press　him。　
　‘I　think　so'　it　probable；'　said　the　Doctor；　breaking　silence　with　an　effort；　‘that　the　relapse　you　have　described；　my　dear　friend；　was　not　quite　unforeseen　by　its　subject。'　
　‘Was　it　dreaded　by　him？'　Mr。　Lorry　ventured　to　ask。　
‘Very　much。'　He　said　it　with　an　involuntary　shudder。　
　‘You　have　no　idea　how　such　an　apprehension　weighs　on　the　sufferer's　mind；　and　how　difficulthow　almost　impossibleit　is；　for　him　to　force　himself　to　utter　a　word　upon　the　topic　that　oppresses　him。'　
　‘Would　he；'　asked　Mr。　Lorry；　‘he　sensibly　relieved　if　he　could　prevail　upon　himself　to　impart　that　secret　brooding　to　any　one；　when　it　is　on　him？'　
　‘I　think　so。　But　it　is；　as　I　have　told　you；　next　to　impossible。　I　even　believe　itin　some　casesto　be　quite　impossible。'　
　‘Now；'　said　Mr。　Lorry；　gently　laying　his　hand　on　the　Doctor's　arm　again；　after　a　short　silence　on　both　sides；　‘to　what　would　you　refer　this　attack？'　
　‘I　believe；'　returned　Doctor　Manette；　‘that　there　had　been　a　strong　and　extraordinary　revival　of　the　train　of　thought　and　remembrance　that　was　the　first　cause　of　the　malady。　Some　intense　associations　of　a　most　distressing　nature　were　vividly　recalled；　I　think。　It　is　probable　that　there　had　long　been　a　dread　lurking　in　his　mind；　that　those　associations　would　be　recalledsay；　under　certain　circumstancessay；　on　a　particular　occasion。　He　tried　to　prepare　himself　in　vain；　perhaps　the　effort　to　prepare　himself　made　him　less　abl