over the teacups-第48章

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And　many　a　scene　where　history　tells

Some　shadow　of　bygone　terror　dwells；

Of　〃Norman's　Woe〃　with　its　tale　of　dread；

Of　the　Screeching　Woman　of　Marblehead；

（The　fearful　story　that　turns　men　pale

Don't　bid　me　tell　it；my　speech　would　fail。）



Who　would　not；　will　not；　if　he　can；

Bathe　in　the　breezes　of　fair　Cape　Ann；

Rest　in　the　bowers　her　bays　enfold；

Loved　by　the　sachems　and　squaws　of　old？

Home　where　the　white　magnolias　bloom；

Sweet　with　the　bayberry's　chaste　perfume；

Hugged　by　the　woods　and　kissed　by　the　seal

Where　is　the　Eden　like　to　thee？



For　that　〃couple　of　hundred　years；　or　so；〃

There　had　been　no　peace　in　the　world　below；

The　witches　still　grumbling；　〃It　is　n't　fair；

Come；　give　us　a　taste　of　the　upper　air！

We've　had　enough　of　your　sulphur　springs；

And　the　evil　odor　that　round　them　clings；

We　long　for　a　drink　that　is　cool　and　nice；

Great　buckets　of　water　with　Wenham　ice；

We've　served　you　well　up…stairs；　you　know；

You're　a　good　old　…fellowcome；　let　us　go！〃



I　don't　feel　sure　of　his　being　good；

But　he　happened　to　be　in　a　pleasant　mood；

As　fiends　with　their　skins　full　sometimes　are；

（He'd　been　drinking　with　〃roughs〃　at　a　Boston　bar。）

So　what　does　he　do　but　up　and　shout

To　a　graybeard　turnkey；　〃Let　'em　out！〃



To　mind　his　orders　was　all　he　knew；

The　gates　swung　open；　and　out　they　flew。

〃Where　are　our　broomsticks？〃　the　beldams　cried。

〃Here　are　your　broomsticks；〃　an　imp　replied。

〃They've　been　inthe　place　you　knowso　long

They　smell　of　brimstone　uncommon　strong；

But　they've　gained　by　being　left　alone；

Just　look；　and　you'll　see　how　tall　they've　grown。〃

And　where　is　my　cat？　〃a　vixen　squalled。

Yes；　where　are　our　cats？〃　the　witches　bawled；

And　began　to　call　them　all　by　name：

As　fast　as　they　called　the　cats；　they　came

There　was　bob…tailed　Tommy　and　long…tailed　Tim；

And　wall…eyed　Jacky　and　green…eyed　Jim；

And　splay…foot　Benny　and　slim…legged　Beau；

And　Skinny　and　Squally；　and　Jerry　and　Joe；



And　many　another　that　came　at　call；

It　would　take　too　long　to　count　them　all。

All　black；one　could　hardly　tell　which　was　which；

But　every　cat　knew　his　own　old　witch；

And　she　knew　hers　as　hers　knew　her；

Ah；　did　n't　they　curl　their　tails　and　purr！



No　sooner　the　withered　hags　were　free

Than　out　they　swarmed　for　a　midnight　spree；

I　could　n't　tell　all　they　did　in　rhymes；

But　the　Essex　people　had　dreadful　times。

The　Swampscott　fishermen　still　relate

How　a　strange　sea…monster　stole　thair　bait；

How　their　nets　were　tangled　in　loops　and　knots；

And　they　found　dead　crabs　in　their　lobster…pots。

Poor　Danvers　grieved　for　her　blasted　crops；

And　Wilmington　mourned　over　mildewed　hops。

A　blight　played　havoc　with　Beverly　beans；

It　was　all　the　work　of　those　hateful　queans！

A　dreadful　panic　began　at　〃Pride's；〃

Where　the　witches　stopped　in　their　midnight　rides；

And　there　rose　strange　rumors　and　vague　alarms

'Mid　the　peaceful　dwellers　at　Beverly　Farms。



Now　when　the　Boss　of　the　Beldams　found

That　without　his　leave　they　were　ramping　round；

He　called；they　could　hear　him　twenty　miles；

》From　Chelsea　beach　to　the　Misery　Isles；

The　deafest　old　granny　knew　his　tone

Without　the　trick　of　the　telephone。

〃Come　here；　you　witches！　　Come　here！〃　says　he；

〃At　your　games　of　old；　without　asking　me

I'll　give　you　a　little　job　to　do

That　will　keep　you　stirring；　you　godless　crew！〃



They　came；　of　course；　at　their　master's　call；

The　witches；　the　broomsticks；　the　cats；　and　all；

He　led　the　hags　to　a　railway　train

The　horses　were　trying　to　drag　in　vain。

〃Now；　then；〃　says　he；　〃you've　had　your　fun；

And　here　are　the　cars　you've　got　to　run。



The　driver　may　just　unhitch　his　team；

We　don't　want　horses；　we　don't　want　steam；

You　may　keep　your　old　black　cats　to　hug；

But　the　loaded　train　you've　got　to　lug。〃



Since　then　on　many　a　car　you'll　see

A　broomstick　plain　as　plain　can　be；

On　every　stick　there's　a　witch　astride；

The　string　you　see　to　her　leg　is　tied。

She　will　do　a　mischief　if　she　can；

But　the　string　is　held　by　a　careful　man；

And　whenever　the　evil…minded　witch

Would　cut　come　caper；　he　gives　a　twitch。

As　for　the　hag；　you　can't　see　her；

But　hark！　you　can　hear　her　black　cat's　purr；

And　now　and　then；　as　a　car　goes　by；

You　may　catch　a　gleam　from　her　wicked　eye。



Often　you've　looked　on　a　rushing　train；

But　just　what　moved　it　was　not　so　plain。

It　couldn't　be　those　wires　above；

For　they　could　neither　pull　nor　shove；

Where　was　the　motor　that　made　it　go

You　couldn't　guess；　but　now　you　know。



Remember　my　rhymes　when　you　ride　again

On　the　rattling　rail　by　the　broomstick　train！









X



In　my　last　report　of　our　talks　over　the　teacups　I　had　something　to

say　of　the　fondness　of　our　people　for　titles。　　Where　did　the　anti…

republican；　anti…democratic　passion　for　swelling　names　come　from；　and

how　long　has　it　been　naturalized　among　us？



A　striking　instance　of　it　occurred　at　about　the　end　of　the　last

century。　　It　was　at　that　time　there　appeared　among　us　one　of　the　most

original　and　singular　personages　to　whom　America　has　given　birth。

Many　of　our　company；many　of　my　readers；all　well　acquainted　with

his　name；　and　not　wholly　ignorant　of　his　history。　　They　will　not

object　to　my　giving　some　particulars　relating　to　him；　which；　if　not

new　to　them；　will　be　new　to　others　into　whose　hands　these　pages　may

fall。



Timothy　Dexter；　the　first　claimant　of　a　title　of　nobility　among　the

people　of　the　United　States　of　America；　was　born　in　the　town　of

Malden；　near　Boston。　　He　served　an　apprenticeship　as　a　leather…

dresser；　saved　some　money；　got　some　more　with　his　wife；　began　trading

and　speculating；　and　became　at　last　rich；　for　those　days。　　His　most

famous　business　enterprise　was　that　of　sending　an　invoice　of　warming…

pans　to　the　West　Indies。　　A　few　tons　of　ice　would　have　seemed　to

promise　a　better　return；　but　in　point　of　fact；　he　tells　us；　the

warming…pans　were　found　useful　in　the　manufacture　of　sugar；　and

brought　him　in　a　handsome　profit。　　His　ambition　rose　with　his

fortune。　　He　purchased　a　large　and　stately　house　in　Newburyport；　and

proceeded　to　embellish　and　furnish　it　according　to　the　dictates　of

his　taste　and　fancy。　　In　the　grounds　about　his　house；　he　caused　to　be

erected　between　forty　and　fifty　wooden　statues　of　great　men　and

allegorical　figures；　together　with　four　lions　and　one　lamb。　　Among

these　images　were　two　statues　of　Dexter　himself；　one　of　which　held　a

label　with　a　characteristic　inscription。　　His　house　was　ornamented

with　minarets；　adorned　with　golden　balls；　and　surmounted　by　a　large

gilt　eagle。　　He　equipped　it　with　costly　furniture；　with　paintings；

and　a　library。　　He　went　so　far　as　to　procure　the　services　of　a　poet

laureate；　whose　business　it　seems　to　have　been　to　sing　his　praises。

Surrounded　with　splendors　like　these；　the　plain　title　of　〃Mr。〃　Dexter

would　have　been　infinitely　too　mean　and　common。　　He　therefore　boldly

took　the　step　of　self…ennobling；　and　gave　himself　forthas　he　said；

obeying　〃the　voice　of　the　people　at　large〃as　〃Lord　Timothy　Dexter；〃

by　which　appellation　he　has　ever　since　been　known　to　the　American

public。



If　to　be　the　pioneer　in　the　introduction　of　Old　World　titles　into

republican　America　can　confer　a　claim　to　be　remembered　by　posterity；

Lord　Timothy　Dexter　has　a　right　to　historic　immortality。　　If　the　true

American　spirit　shows　itself　most　clearly　in　boundless　self　…

assertion；　Timothy　Dexter　is　the　great　original　American　egotist。　　If

to　throw　off　the　shackles　of　Old　World　pedantry；　and　defy　the　paltry

rules　and　examples　of　grammarians　and　rhetoricians；　is　the　special

province　and　the　chartered　privilege　of　the　American　writer；　Timothy

Dexter　is　the　founder　of　a　new　school；　which　tramples　under　foot　the

conventionalities　that　hampered　and　subjugated　the　faculties　of　the

poets；　the　dramatists；　the　historians；　essayists；　story…tellers；

orators；　of　the　worn…out　races　which　have　preceded　the　great　Am