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第34章

over the teacups-第34章

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steam…engine be without a crank?  I suppose the first fool that

looked on the first crank that was ever made asked what that crooked;

queer…looking thing was good for。  When the wheels got moving he

found out。  Tell us something about that book which has so much to

say concerning cranks。〃



Hereupon I requested Delilah to carry back Morhof; and replace him in

the wide gap he had left in the bookshelf。  She was then to find and

bring down the volume I had been speaking of。



Delilah took the wisdom of the seventeenth century in her arms; and

departed on her errand。  The book she brought down was given me some

years ago by a gentleman who had sagaciously foreseen that it was

just one of those works which I might hesitate about buying; but

should be well pleased to own。  He guessed well; the book has been a

great source of instruction and entertainment to me。  I wonder that

so much time and cost should have been expended upon a work which

might have borne a title like the Encomium Moriae of Erasmus; and yet

it is such a wonderful museum of the productions of the squinting

brains belonging to the class of persons commonly known as cranks

that we could hardly spare one of its five hundred octavo pages。



Those of us who are in the habit of receiving letters from all sorts

of would…be…literary peopleletters of inquiry; many of them with

reference to matters we are supposed to understandcan readily see

how it was that Mr。 De Morgan; never too busy to be good…natured with

the people who pesteredor amused…him with their queer fancies;

received such a number of letters from persons who thought they had

made great discoveries; from those who felt that they and their

inventions and contrivances had been overlooked; and who sought in

his large charity of disposition and great receptiveness a balm for

their wounded feelings and a ray of hope for their darkened

prospects。



The book before us is made up from papers published in 〃The

Athenaeum;〃 with additions by the author。  Soon after opening it we

come to names with which we are familiar; the first of these; that of

Cornelius Agrippa; being connected with the occult and mystic

doctrines dealt with by many of De Morgan's correspondents。  But the

name most likely to arrest us is that of Giordano Bruno; the same

philosopher; heretic; and martyr whose statue has recently been

erected in Rome; to the great horror of the Pope and his prelates in

the Old World and in the New。  De Morgan's pithy account of him will

interest the company : 〃Giordano Bruno was all paradox。  He was; as

has been said; a vorticist before Descartes; an optimist before

Leibnitz; a Copernican before Galileo。  It would be easy to collect a

hundred strange opinions of his。  He was born about 1550; and was

roasted alive at Rome; February 17; 1600; for the maintenance and

defence of the Holy Church; and the rights and liberties of the

same。〃



Number Seven could not contain himself when the reading had reached

this point。  He rose from his chair; and tinkled his spoon against

the side of his teacup。  It may have been a fancy; but I thought it

returned a sound which Mr。 Richard Briggs would have recognized as

implying an organic defect。  But Number Seven did not seem to notice

it; or; if be did; to mind it。



〃Why did n't we all have a chance to help erect that statue?〃 he

cried。  〃A murdered heretic at the beginning of the seventeenth

century; a hero of knowledge in the nineteenth;I drink to the

memory of the roasted crank; Giordano Bruno!〃



Number Seven lifted his teacup to his lips; and most of us followed

his example。



After this outburst of emotion and eloquence had subsided; and the

teaspoons lay quietly in their saucers; I went on with my extract

from the book I had in hand。



I think; I said; that the passage which follows will be new and

instructive to most of the company。  De Morgan's interpretation of

the cabalistic sentence; made up as you will find it; is about as

ingenious a piece of fanciful exposition as you will be likely to

meet with anywhere in any book; new or old。  I am the more willing to

mention it as it suggests a puzzle which some of the company may like

to work upon。  Observe the character and position of the two

distinguished philosophers who did not think their time thrown away

in laboring at this seemingly puerile task。



〃There is a kind of Cabbala Alphabetica which the investigators of

the numerals in words would do well to take up; it is the formation

of sentences which contain all the letters of the alphabet; and each

only once。  No one has done it with v and j treated as consonants;

but you and I can do it。  Dr。 Whewell and I amused ourselves some

years ago with attempts。  He could not make sense; though he joined

words he gave me Phiz; styx; wrong; buck; flame; quiz。



〃I gave him the following; which he agreed was 'admirable sense;'

I certainly think the words would never have come together except in

this way: I quartz pyx who fling muck beds。  I long thought that no

human being could say this under any circumstances。  At last I

happened to be reading a religious writer;as he thought himself;

who threw aspersions on his opponents thick and threefold。  Heyday

came into my head; this fellow flings muck beds; he must be a quartz

pyx。  And then I remembered that a pyx is a sacred vessel; and quartz

is a hard stone; as hard as the heart of a religious foe…curser。  So

that the line is the motto of the ferocious sectarian who turns his

religious vessels into mud…holders; for the benefit of those who will

not see what he sees。〃



There are several other sentences given; in which all the letters

(except v and j as consonants) are employed; of which the following

is the best: Get nymph; quiz sad brow; fix luck;which in more sober

English would be; Marry; be cheerful; watch your business。  There is

more edification; mare religion; in this than in all the 666

interpretations put together。〃



There is something very pleasant in the thought of these two sages

playing at jackstraws with the letters of the alphabet。  The task

which De Morgan and Dr。 Whewell; 〃the omniscient;〃 set themselves

would not be unworthy of our own ingenious scholars; and it might be

worth while for some one of our popular periodicals to offer a prize

for the best sentence using up the whole alphabet; under the same

conditions as those submitted to by our two philosophers。



This whole book of De Morgan's seems to me full of instruction。

There is too much of it; no doubt; yet one can put up with the

redundancy for the sake of the multiplicity of shades of credulity

and self…deception it displays in broad daylight。  I suspect many of

us are conscious of a second personality in our complex nature; which

has many traits resembling those found in the writers of the letters

addressed to Mr。 De Horgan。



I have not ventured very often nor very deeply into the field of

metaphysics; but if I were disposed to make any claim in that

direction; it would be the recognition of the squinting brain; the

introduction of the term 〃cerebricity〃 corresponding to electricity;

the idiotic area in the brain or thinking…marrow; and my studies of

the second member in the partnership of I…My…Self & Co。  I add the

Co。 with especial reference to a very interesting article in a late

Scribner; by my friend Mr。 William James。  In this article the reader

will find a full exposition of the doctrine of plural personality

illustrated by striking cases。  I have long ago noticed and referred

to the fact of the stratification of the currents of thought in three

layers; one over the other。  I have recognized that where there are

two individuals talking together there are really six personalities

engaged in the conversation。  But the distinct; separable;

independent individualities; taking up conscious life one after the

other; are brought out by Mr。 James and the authorities to wh

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