over the teacups-第26章

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that　some　of　our　fellow…citizens　have　two　distinct　families；　but　you

speak　as　if　you　had　a　dozen。〃



〃I　have；　but　not　so　large　a　number　as　I　should　like。　　I　could　take

care　of　fifteen　or　twenty　more　without：　having　to　work　too　hard。〃



〃Why；　Doctor；　you　are　as　bad　as　a　Mormon。　　What　do　you　mean　by

calling　certain　families　yours？〃



〃Don't　you　speak　about　my　client？　　Don't　your　clients　call　you　their

lawyer？　　Does　n't　your　baker；　does　n't　your　butcher；　speak　of　the

families　he　supplies　as　his　families？〃



To　be　sure；　yes；　of　course　they　do；　but　I　had　a　notion　that　a　man　had

as　many　doctors　as　he　had　organs　to　be　doctored。〃



〃Well；　there　is　some　truth　in　that；　but　did　you　think　the　old…

fashioned　family　doctor　was　extinct；　a　fossil　like　the　megatherium？〃



〃Why；　yes；　after　the　recent　experience　of　a　friend　of　mine；　I　did

begin　to　think　that　there　would　soon　be　no　such　personage　left　as

that　same　old…fashioned　family　doctor。　　Shall　I　tell　you　what　that

experience　was？〃



The　young　Doctor　said　be　should　be　mightily　pleased　to　hear　it。　　He

was　going　to　be　one　of　those　old…fogy　practitioners　himself。



〃I　don't　know；〃　the　Counsellor　said；　〃whether　my　friend　got　all　the

professional　terms　of　his　story　correctly；　nor　whether　I　have　got

them　from　him　without　making　any　mistakes；　but　if　I　do　make　blunders

in　some　of　the　queer　names；　you　can　correct　me。　　This　is　my　friend's

story：



〃My　family　doctor；'　he　said；　〃was　a　very　sensible　man；　educated　at　a

school　where　they　professed　to　teach　all　the　specialties；　but　not

confining　himself　to　any　one　branch　of　medical　practice。　　Surgical

practice　he　did　not　profess　to　meddle　with；　and　there　were　some

classes　of　patients　whom　he　was　willing　to　leave　to　the　female

physician。　　But　throughout　the　range　of　diseases　not　requiring

exceptionally　skilled　manual　interference；　his　education　had

authorized　him　to　consider　himself；　and　he　did　consider　himself；

qualified　to　undertake　the　treatment　of　all　ordinary　cases…　It　so

happened　that　my　young　wife　was　one　of　those　uneasy　persons　who　are

never　long　contented　with　their　habitual　comforts　and　blessings；　but

always　trying　to　find　something　a　little　better；　something　newer；　at

any　rate。　　I　was　getting　to　be　near　fifty　years　old；　and　it　happened

to　me；　as　it　not　rarely　does　to　people　at　about　that　time　of　life；

that　my　hair　began　to　fall　out。　　I　spoke　of　it　to　my　doctor；　who

smiled；　said　it　was　a　part　of　the　process　of　reversed　evolution；　but

might　be　retarded　a　little；　and　gave　me　a　prescription。　　I　did　not

find　any　great　effect　from　it；　and　my　wife　would　have　me　go　to　a

noted　dermatologist。　　The　distinguished　specialist　examined　my

denuded　scalp　with　great　care。　　He　looked　at　it　through　a　strong

magnifier。　　He　examined　the　bulb　of　a　fallen　hair　in　a　powerful

microscope。　　He　deliberated　for　a　while；　and　then　said；　〃This　is　a

case　of　alopecia。　　It　may　perhaps　be　partially　remedied。　　I　will　give

you　a　prescription。〃　　Which　he　did；　and　told　me　to　call　again　in　a

fortnight。　　At　the　end　of　three　months　I　had　called　six　times；　and

each　time　got　a　new　recipe；　and　detected　no　difference　in　the　course

of　my　〃alopecia。〃　　After　I　had　got　through　my　treatment；　I　showed　my

recipes　to　my　family　physician；　and　we　found　that　three　of　them　were

the　same　he　had　used；　familiar；　old…fashioned　remedies；　and　the

others　were　taken　from　a　list　of　new　and　little…tried　prescriptions

mentioned　in　one　of　the　last　medical　journals；　which　was　lying　on　the

old　doctor's　table。　　I　might　as　well　have　got　no　better　under　his

charge；　and　should　have　got　off　much　cheaper。



〃The　next　trouble　I　had　was　a　little　redness　of　the　eyes；　for　which

my　doctor　gave　me　a　wash；　but　my　wife　would　have　it　that　I　must　see

an　oculist。　　So　I　made　four　visits　to　an　oculist；　and　at　the　last

visit　the　redness　was　nearly　gone；as　it　ought　to　have　been　by　that

time。　　The　specialist　called　my　complaint　conjunctivitis；　but　that

did　not　make　it　feel　any　better　nor　get　well　any　quicker。　　If　I　had

had　a　cataract　or　any　grave　disease　of　the　eye；　requiring　a　nice

operation　on　that　delicate　organ；　of　course　I　should　have　properly

sought　the　aid　of　an　expert；　whose　eye；　hand；　and　judgment　were

trained　to　that　special　business；　but　in　this　case　I　don't　doubt　that

my　family　doctor　would　have　done　just　as　well　as　the　expert。

However；　I　had　to　obey　orders；　and　my　wife　would　have　it　that　I

should　entrust　my　precious　person　only　to　the　most　skilful　specialist

in　each　department　of　medical　practice。



〃In　the　course　of　the　year　I　experienced　a　variety　of　slight

indispositions。　　For　these　I　was　auriscoped　by　an　aurist；

laryngoscoped　by　a　laryngologist；　ausculted　by　a　stethoscopist；　and

so　on；　until　a　complete　inventory　of　my　organs　was　made　out；　and　I

found　that　if　I　believed　all　these　searching　inquirers　professed　to

have　detected　in　my　unfortunate　person；　I　could　repeat　with　too

literal　truth　the　words　of　the　General　Confession；　〃And　there　is　no

health　in　us。〃　　I　never　heard　so　many　hard　names　in　all　my　life。　　I

proved　to　be　the　subject　of　a　long　catalogue　of　diseases；　and　what

maladies　I　was　not　manifestly　guilty　of　I　was　at　least　suspected　of

harboring。　　I　was　handed　along　all　the　way　from　alopecia；　which　used

to　be　called　baldness；　to　zoster；　which　used　to　be　known　as　shingles。

I　was　the　patient　of　more　than　a　dozen　specialists。　　Very　pleasant

persons；　many　of　them；　but　what　a　fuss　they　made　about　my　trifling

incommodities！　　Please　look　at　that　photograph。　　See　if　there　is　a

minute　elevation　under　one　eye。'



〃'On　which　side？'　I　asked　him；　for　I　could　not　be　sure　there　was

anything　different　on　one　side　from　what　I　saw　on　the　other。



〃'Under　the　left　eye。　　I　called　it　a　pimple；　the　specialist　called　it

acne。　　Now　look　at　this　photograph。　　It　was　taken　after　my　acne　had

been　three　months　under　treatment。　　It　shows　a　little　more　distinctly

than　in　the　first　photograph；　does　n't　it？'



〃'I　think　it　does；'　I　answered。　　'It　does　n't　seem　to　me　that　you

gained　a　great　deal　by　leaving　your　customary　adviser　for　the

specialist。'



〃'Well；'　my　friend　continued；　'following　my　wife's　urgent　counsel；　I

kept　on；　as　I　told　you；　for　a　whole　year　with　my　specialists；　going

from　head　to　foot；　and　tapering　off　with　a　chiropodist。　　I　got　a　deal

of　amusement　out　of　their　contrivances　and　experiments。　　Some　of　them

lighted　up　my　internal　surfaces　with　electrical　or　other　illuminating

apparatus。　　Thermometers；　dynamometers；　exploring…tubes；　little

mirrors　that　went　half…way　down　to　my　stomach；　tuning…forks；

ophthalmoscopes；　percussion…hammers；　single　and　double　stethoscopes；

speculums；　sphygmometers；such　a　battery　of　detective　instruments　I

had　never　imagined。　　All　useful；　I　don't　doubt；　but　at　the　end　of　the

year　I　began　to　question　whether　I　should　n't　have　done　about　as　well

to　stick　to　my　long　tried　practitioner。　　When　the　bills　for

〃professional　services〃　came　in；　and　the　new　carpet　had　to　be　given

up；　and　the　old　bonnet　trimmed　over　again；　and　the　sealskin　sack

remained　a　vision；　we　both　agreed；　my　wife　and　I；　that　we　would　try

to　get　along　without　consulting　specialists；　except　in　such　cases　as

our　family　physician　considered　to　be　beyond　his　skill。'〃



The　Counsellor's　story　of　his　friend's　experiences　seemed　to　please

the　young　Doctor　very　much。　　It　〃stirred　him　up；〃　but　in　an　agreeable

way；　for；　as　he　said；　he　meant　to　devote　himself　to　family　practice；

and　not　to　adopt　any　limited　class　of　cases　as　a　specialty。　　I　liked

his　views　so　well　that　I　should　have　been　ready　to　adopt　them　as　my

own；　if　they　had　been　challenged。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　The　young　Doctor　discourses。



〃I　am　very　glad；〃　he　said；　〃that　we　have　a　number　of　practitioners

among　us　who　confine　themselves　to　the　care　of　single　organs　and

their　functions。　　I　want　to　be　able　to　consult　an　oculist　who　has

done　nothing　but　attend　to　eyes　long　enough　to　know　all　that　is　known

about　their