is shakespeare dead-第4章

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　a　departing　person　owned　one　he　gave　it　a　high　place　in　his　will。

The　will　mentioned　NOT　A　PLAY；　NOT　A　POEM；　NOT　AN　UNFINISHED　LITERARY　WORK；　NOT　A　SCRAP　OF　MANUSCRIPT　OF　ANY　KIND。

Many　poets　have　died　poor；　but　this　is　the　only　one　in　history　that　has　died　THIS　poor；　the　others　all　left　literary　remains　behind。　Also　a　book。　　Maybe　two。

If　Shakespeare　had　owned　a　dogbut　we　need　not　go　into　that：　　we　know　he　would　have　mentioned　it　in　his　will。　　If　a　good　dog；　Susanna　would　have　got　it；　if　an　inferior　one　his　wife　would　have　got　a　dower　interest　in　it。　　I　wish　he　had　had　a　dog；　just　so　we　could　see　how　painstakingly　he　would　have　divided　that　dog　among　the　family；　in　his　careful　business　way。

He　signed　the　will　in　three　places。

In　earlier　years　he　signed　two　other　official　documents。

These　five　signatures　still　exist。

There　are　NO　OTHER　SPECIMENS　OF　HIS　PENMANSHIP　IN　EXISTENCE。　　Not　a　line。

Was　he　prejudiced　against　the　art？　　His　granddaughter；　whom　he　loved；　was　eight　years　old　when　he　died；　yet　she　had　had　no　teaching；　he　left　no　provision　for　her　education　although　he　was　rich；　and　in　her　mature　womanhood　she　couldn't　write　and　couldn't　tell　her　husband's　manuscript　from　anybody　else'sshe　thought　it　was　Shakespeare's。

When　Shakespeare　died　in　Stratford　IT　WAS　NOT　AN　EVENT。　　It　made　no　more　stir　in　England　than　the　death　of　any　other　forgotten　theatre…　actor　would　have　made。　　Nobody　came　down　from　London；　there　were　no　lamenting　poems；　no　eulogies；　no　national　tearsthere　was　merely　silence；　and　nothing　more。　　A　striking　contrast　with　what　happened　when　Ben　Jonson；　and　Francis　Bacon；　and　Spenser；　and　Raleigh　and　the　other　distinguished　literary　folk　of　Shakespeare's　time　passed　from　life！　　No　praiseful　voice　was　lifted　for　the　lost　Bard　of　Avon；　even　Ben　Jonson　waited　seven　years　before　he　lifted　his。

SO　FAR　AS　ANYBODY　ACTUALLY　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare　of　Stratford…on…Avon　never　wrote　a　play　in　his　life。

SO　FAR　AS　ANYBODY　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　he　never　wrote　a　letter　to　anybody　in　his　life。

SO　FAR　AS　ANY　ONE　KNOWS；　HE　RECEIVED　ONLY　ONE　LETTER　DURING　HIS　LIFE。

So　far　as　any　one　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare　of　Stratford　wrote　only　one　poem　during　his　life。　　This　one　is　authentic。　　He　did　write　that　onea　fact　which　stands　undisputed；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it　out　of　his　own　head。　　He　commanded　that　this　work　of　art　be　engraved　upon　his　tomb；　and　he　was　obeyed。　　There　it　abides　to　this　day。　　This　is　it：


Good　friend　for　Iesus　sake　forbeare　To　digg　the　dust　encloased　heare：　Blest　be　ye　man　yt　spares　thes　stones　And　curst　be　he　yt　moves　my　bones。


In　the　list　as　above　set　down；　will　be　found　EVERY　POSITIVELY　KNOWN　fact　of　Shakespeare's　life；　lean　and　meagre　as　the　invoice　is。　Beyond　these　details　we　know　NOT　A　THING　about　him。　　All　the　rest　of　his　vast　history；　as　furnished　by　the　biographers；　is　built　up；　course　upon　course；　of　guesses；　inferences；　theories；　conjectures　an　Eiffel　Tower　of　artificialities　rising　sky…high　from　a　very　flat　and　very　thin　foundation　of　inconsequential　facts。



CHAPTER　IV



CONJECTURES


The　historians　〃suppose〃　that　Shakespeare　attended　the　Free　School　in　Stratford　from　the　time　he　was　seven　years　old　till　he　was　thirteen。　　There　is　no　EVIDENCE　in　existence　that　he　ever　went　to　school　at　all。

The　historians　〃infer〃　that　he　got　his　Latin　in　that　schoolthe　school　which　they　〃suppose〃　he　attended。

They　〃suppose〃　his　father's　declining　fortunes　made　it　necessary　for　him　to　leave　the　school　they　supposed　he　attended；　and　get　to　work　and　help　support　his　parents　and　their　ten　children。　　But　there　is　no　evidence　that　he　ever　entered　or　retired　from　the　school　they　suppose　he　attended。

They　〃suppose〃　he　assisted　his　father　in　the　butchering　business；　and　that；　being　only　a　boy；　he　didn't　have　to　do　full…grown　butchering；　but　only　slaughtered　calves。　　Also；　that　whenever　he　killed　a　calf　he　made　a　high…flown　speech　over　it。　　This　supposition　rests　upon　the　testimony　of　a　man　who　wasn't　there　at　the　time；　a　man　who　got　it　from　a　man　who　could　have　been　there；　but　did　not　say　whether　he　was　or　not；　and　neither　of　them　thought　to　mention　it　for　decades；　and　decades；　and　decades；　and　two　more　decades　after　Shakespeare's　death　（until　old　age　and　mental　decay　had　refreshed　and　vivified　their　memories）。　　They　hadn't　two　facts　in　stock　about　the　long…dead　distinguished　citizen；　but　only　just　the　one：　　he　slaughtered　calves　and　broke　into　oratory　while　he　was　at　it。　　Curious。　　They　had　only　one　fact；　yet　the　distinguished　citizen　had　spent　twenty…six　years　in　that　little　townjust　half　his　lifetime。　　However；　rightly　viewed；　it　was　the　most　important　fact；　indeed　almost　the　only　important　fact；　of　Shakespeare's　life　in　Stratford。　　Rightly　viewed。　　For　experience　is　an　author's　most　valuable　asset；　experience　is　the　thing　that　puts　the　muscle　and　the　breath　and　the　warm　blood　into　the　book　he　writes。　　Rightly　viewed；　calf…butchering　accounts　for　Titus　Andronicus；　the　only　playain't　it？that　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　ever　wrote；　and　yet　it　is　the　only　one　everybody　tries　to　chouse　him　out　of；　the　Baconians　included。

The　historians　find　themselves　〃justified　in　believing〃　that　the　young　Shakespeare　poached　upon　Sir　Thomas　Lucy's　deer　preserves　and　got　haled　before　that　magistrate　for　it。　　But　there　is　no　shred　of　respectworthy　evidence　that　anything　of　the　kind　happened。

The　historians；　having　argued　the　thing　that　MIGHT　have　happened　into　the　thing　that　DID　happen；　found　no　trouble　in　turning　Sir　Thomas　Lucy　into　Mr。　Justice　Shallow。　　They　have　long　ago　convinced　the　worldon　surmise　and　without　trustworthy　evidencethat　Shallow　IS　Sir　Thomas。

The　next　addition　to　the　young　Shakespeare's　Stratford　history　comes　easy。　　The　historian　builds　it　out　of　the　surmised　deer…　stealing；　and　the　surmised　trial　before　the　magistrate；　and　the　surmised　vengeance…prompted　satire　upon　the　magistrate　in　the　play：　result；　the　young　Shakespeare　was　a　wild；　wild；　wild；　oh　SUCH　a　wild　young　scamp；　and　that　gratuitous　slander　is　established　for　all　time！　　It　is　the　very　way　Professor　Osborn　and　I　built　the　colossal　skeleton　brontosaur　that　stands　fifty…seven　feet　long　and　sixteen　feet　high　in　the　Natural　History　Museum；　the　awe　and　admiration　of　all　the　world；　the　stateliest　skeleton　that　exists　on　the　planet。　　We　had　nine　bones；　and　we　built　the　rest　of　him　out　of　plaster　of　paris。　　We　ran　short　of　plaster　of　paris；　or　we'd　have　built　a　brontosaur　that　could　sit　down　beside　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　and　none　but　an　expert　could　tell　which　was　biggest　or　contained　the　most　plaster。

Shakespeare　pronounced　Venus　and　Adonis　〃the　first　heir　of　his　invention；〃　apparently　implying　that　it　was　his　first　effort　at　literary　composition。　　He　should　not　have　said　it。　　It　has　been　an　embarrassment　to　his　historians　these　many；　many　years。　　They　have　to　make　him　write　that　graceful　and　polished　and　flawless　and　beautiful　poem　before　he　escaped　from　Stratford　and　his　family　1586　or　'87age；　twenty…two；　or　along　there；　because　within　the　next　five　years　he　wrote　five　great　plays；　and　could　not　have　found　time　to　write　another　line。

It　is　sorely　embarrassing。　　If　he　began　to　slaughter　calves；　and　poach　deer；　and　rollick　around；　and　learn　English；　at　the　earliest　likely　momentsay　at　thirteen；　when　he　was　supposably　wrenched　from　that　school　where　he　was　supposably　storing　up　Latin　for　future　literary　usehe　had　his　youthful　hands　full；　and　much　more　than　full。　　He　must　have　had　to　put　aside　his　Warwickshire　dialect；　which　wouldn't　be　understood　in　London；　and　study　English　very　hard。　　Very　hard　indeed；　incredibly　hard；　almost；　if　the　result　of　that　labor　was　to　be　the　smooth　and　rounded　and　flexible　and　letter…perfect　English　of　the　Venus　and　Adonis　in　the　space　of　ten　years；　and　at　the　same　time　learn　great　and　fine　and　unsurpassable　literary　form。

However；　it　is　〃conjectured〃　that　he　accomplished　all　this　and　more；　much　more：　　learned　law　and　its　intricacies；　and　the　complex　procedure　of　the　law　courts；　and　all　about　soldiering；　and　sailoring；　and　the　manners　and　customs　and　ways　of　royal　courts　and　aristocratic　society；　and　likewise　accumulated　in　hi