erewhon revisited-第14章
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reached the bough on to which the flax was tied； and soon found
himself hauling up something from the bottom of the tree。 In less
time than it takes to tell the tale he saw his own familiar red
blanket begin to show above the broken edge of the hollow； and in
another second there was a clinkum…clankum as the bundle fell upon
the ground。 This was caused by the billy and the pannikin； which
were wrapped inside the blanket。 As for the blanket； it had been
tied tightly at both ends； as well as at several points between；
and my father inwardly complimented the Professors on the neatness
with which they had packed and hidden their purchase。 〃But；〃 he
said to himself with a laugh； 〃I think one of them must have got on
the other's back to reach that bough。〃
〃Of course；〃 thought he； 〃they will have taken the nuggets with
them。〃 And yet he had seemed to hear a dumping as well as a
clinkum…clankum。 He undid the blanket； carefully untying every
knot and keeping the flax。 When he had unrolled it； he found to
his very pleasurable surprise that the pannikin was inside the
billy； and the nuggets with the receipt inside the pannikin。 The
paper containing the tea having been torn； was wrapped up in a
handkerchief marked with Hanky's name。
〃Down； conscience； down！〃 he exclaimed as he transferred the
nuggets； receipt； and handkerchief to his own pocket。 〃Eye of my
soul that you are！ if you offend me I must pluck you out。〃 His
conscience feared him and said nothing。 As for the tea； he left it
in its torn paper。
He then put the billy； pannikin； and tea； back again inside the
blanket； which he tied neatly up； tie for tie with the Professor's
own flax； leaving no sign of any disturbance。 He again swarmed the
sucker； till he reached the bough to which the blanket and its
contents had been made fast； and having attached the bundle； he
dropped it back into the hollow of the tree。 He did everything
quite leisurely； for the Professors would be sure to wait till
nightfall before coming to fetch their property away。
〃If I take nothing but the nuggets；〃 he argued； 〃each of the
Professors will suspect the other of having conjured them into his
own pocket while the bundle was being made up。 As for the
handkerchief； they must think what they like； but it will puzzle
Hanky to know why Panky should have been so anxious for a receipt；
if he meant stealing the nuggets。 Let them muddle it out their own
way。〃
Reflecting further； he concluded； perhaps rightly； that they had
left the nuggets where he had found them； because neither could
trust the other not to filch a few； if he had them in his own
possession； and they could not make a nice division without a pair
of scales。 〃At any rate；〃 he said to himself； 〃there will be a
pretty quarrel when they find them gone。〃
Thus charitably did he brood over things that were not to happen。
The discovery of the Professors' hoard had refreshed him almost as
much as his sleep had done； and it being now past seven； he lit his
pipewhich； however； he smoked as furtively as he had done when he
was a boy at school； for he knew not whether smoking had yet become
an Erewhonian virtue or noand walked briskly on towards
Sunch'ston。
CHAPTER VII： SIGNS OF THE NEW ORDER OF THINGS CATCH MY FATHER'S
EYE ON EVERY SIDE
He had not gone far before a turn in the pathnow rapidly
wideningshowed him two high towers； seemingly some two miles off；
these he felt sure must be at Sunch'ston； he therefore stepped out；
lest he should find the shops shut before he got there。
On his former visit he had seen little of the town； for he was in
prison during his whole stay。 He had had a glimpse of it on being
brought there by the people of the village where he had spent his
first night in Erewhona village which he had seen at some little
distance on his right hand； but which it would have been out of his
way to visit； even if he had wished to do so； and he had seen the
Museum of old machines； but on leaving the prison he had been
blindfolded。 Nevertheless he felt sure that if the towers had been
there he should have seen them； and rightly guessed that they must
belong to the temple which was to be dedicated to himself on
Sunday。
When he had passed through the suburbs he found himself in the main
street。 Space will not allow me to dwell on more than a few of the
things which caught his eye； and assured him that the change in
Erewhonian habits and opinions had been even more cataclysmic than
he had already divined。 The first important building that he came
to proclaimed itself as the College of Spiritual Athletics； and in
the window of a shop that was evidently affiliated to the college
he saw an announcement that moral try…your…strengths； suitable for
every kind of ordinary temptation； would be provided on the
shortest notice。 Some of those that aimed at the more common kinds
of temptation were kept in stock； but these consisted chiefly of
trials to the temper。 On dropping； for example； a penny into a
slot； you could have a jet of fine pepper； flour； or brickdust；
whichever you might prefer； thrown on to your face； and thus
discover whether your composure stood in need of further
development or no。 My father gathered this from the writing that
was pasted on to the try…your…strength； but he had no time to go
inside the shop and test either the machine or his own temper。
Other temptations to irritability required the agency of living
people； or at any rate living beings。 Crying children； screaming
parrots； a spiteful monkey； might be hired on ridiculously easy
terms。 He saw one advertisement； nicely framed； which ran as
follows：…
〃Mrs。 Tantrums； Nagger； certificated by the College of Spiritual
Athletics。 Terms for ordinary nagging； two shillings and sixpence
per hour。 Hysterics extra。〃
Then followed a series of testimonialsfor example：…
〃Dear Mrs。 Tantrums；I have for years been tortured with a husband
of unusually peevish； irritable temper； who made my life so
intolerable that I sometimes answered him in a way that led to his
using personal violence towards me。 After taking a course of
twelve sittings from you； I found my husband's temper comparatively
angelic； and we have ever since lived together in complete
harmony。〃
Another was from a husband：…
〃Mr。presents his compliments to Mrs。 Tantrums； and begs to assure
her that her extra special hysterics have so far surpassed anything
his wife can do； as to render him callous to those attacks which he
had formerly found so distressing。〃
There were many others of a like purport； but time did not permit
my father to do more than glance at them。 He contented himself
with the two following； of which the first ran：…
〃He did try it at last。 A little correction of the right kind
taken at the right moment is invaluable。 No more swearing。 No
more bad language of any kind。 A lamb…like temper ensured in about
twenty minutes； by a single dose of one of our spiritual
indigestion tabloids。 In cases of all the more ordinary moral
ailments； from simple lying； to homicidal mania； in cases again of
tendency to hatred； malice； and uncharitableness； of atrophy or
hypertrophy of the conscience； of costiveness or diarrhoea of the
sympathetic instincts； &c。； &c。； our spiritual indigestion tabloids
will afford unfailing and immediate relief。
〃N。B。A bottle or two of our Sunchild Cordial will assist the
operation of the tabloids。〃
The second and last that I can give was as follows：…
〃All else is useless。 If you wish to be a social success； make
yourself a good listener。 There is no short cut to this。 A would…
be listener must learn the rudiments of his art and go through the
mill like other people。 If he would develop a power of suffering
fools gladly； he must begin by suffering them without the gladness。
Professor Proser； ex…straightener； certificated bore； pragmatic or
coruscating； with or without anecdotes； attends pupils at their own
houses。 Terms moderate。
〃Mrs。 Proser； whose success as a professional mind…dresser is so
well…known that lengthened advertisement is unnecessary； prepares
ladies or gentlemen with ap
