phyllis of philistia-第51章

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ow　something　about　woman　and　her　nature。

〃I　must　go；〃　he　said。　〃I　must　go。　I　am　not　sure　of　myself。〃

〃You　had　best　make　sure　of　her；　and　then　you　will　become　sure　of　yourself；〃　said　Ella。

〃That　would　be　to　do　her　an　injustice。　No。　I　feel　that　I　must　go；〃　he　cried。

And　go　he　did。

Those　of　the　guests　who　remained　during　Monday　did　their　best　to　find　out　how　Phyllis　was　disposed　to　regard　his　departure；　and　there　was　a　consensus　of　opinion　among　them　that　she　seemed　greatly　mortified；　though　she　made　a　splendid　fight；　trying　to　appear　utterly　indifferent。

There　was；　however；　no　ignoring　the　circumstance　that　Ella　was　elated　at　his　departure；　some　of　her　guests　even　went　so　far　as　to　suggest　that　she　had　accelerated　his　departure；　giving　him　to　understand　that；　however　a　young　woman　might　throw　herself　at　his　head；and　didn't　Phyllis　just　throw　herself　at　his　head？he　had　no　right　to　give　her　all　his　attention；　a　hostess　has　a　right　to　claim　some　of　his　spare　moments。

It　was　not　until　Tuesday；　when　Mr。　Linton　had　left　for　London；　and　Phyllis　was　alone　with　Ella　for　an　hour　before　lunch；　that　the　latter　endeavored　to　find　out　what　she　thought　of　Herbert　Courtland。

〃Has　Stephen　been　speaking　to　you　about　George　Holland？〃　she　inquired。　She　thought　that　the　best　way　to　lead　Phyllis　to　talk　about　Herbert　would　be　by　beginning　to　talk　about　George　Holland。

〃Oh；　yes！〃　said　Phyllis。　〃He　appears　to　be　greatly　interested　in　Mr。　Holland。　He　thinks　that　he　must　leave　the　Church。〃

〃That　would　be　very　sad；〃　remarked　Ella。　〃It　would　seem　very　like　persecution；　would　it　not？〃

〃I　cannot　see　that　there　would　be　any　injustice　in　the　matter；〃　said　Phyllis。　〃If　a　man　chooses　to　write　such　things　as　he　has　written；　he　must　take　the　consequences。　I；　for　my　part；　intend　keeping　away　from　the　church　as　long　as　Mr。　Holland　remains　in　the　pulpit。〃

She　did　not　think　it　necessary　to　refer　to　the　remarks　made　by　Mr。　Holland　upon　the　occasion　of　his　last　visit　to　her；　though　these　words　might　not　be　without　interest　to　Ella。

〃But　it　seems　hard；　doesn't　it；　to　deprive　a　man　of　his　profession　simply　because　he　holds　certain　views　on　what　is；　after　all；　an　abstract　subjectthe　patriarchs；　or　the　prophets　and　things　of　that　sort？〃　said　Ella。

〃Lady　Earlscourt　said　that　he　should　be　forgiven；　because　he　really　didn't　hold　the　views　which　he　had　preached；〃　laughed　Phyllis。　〃She　also　said　that　he　should　not　be　regarded　as　an　atheist；　because　he　believed　not　only　in　one　God；　but　in　two。〃

〃I　wonder　how　many　Herbert　Courtland　believes　in；〃　said　Ella。　〃You　told　me　he　talked　to　you　on　that　topic　the　first　night　you　met。　Was　it　about　God　you　and　he　have　been　talking　lately？〃

〃I'm　afraid　it　was　not。〃

〃Oh！　you　found　a　more　interesting　topic；　and　one　of　more　importance　to　two　people　in　the　bloom　of　youth？〃

〃Ella！〃

〃Oh；　my　dear；　I　don't　mean　anything　dreadful。　Only；　you　know　as　well　as　I　do　that　a　healthy　man　and　a　healthy　woman　will　never　talk；　when　they　are　alone　together；　about　God；　when　they　can　talk　about　each　other。　I　think　Herbert　Courtland　is　about　the　healthiest　man　I　know；　and　I'm　sure　that　you　are　the　healthiest　girl。　You　and　he　are　most　sympathetic　companions。　You　are　not　at　all　stupidly　coy；　my　sweet　maiden。〃

〃I　like　Mr。　Courtland；　and　why　should　I　be　coy？〃

〃Why；　indeed？　I　wonder　what　the　people　who　have　just　left　us　will　say　about　it？〃

〃About　it？　About　what！〃

〃You　coynessor　absence　of　coyness。　Will　they　say　that　you　threw　yourself　at　his　head？〃

（As　a　matter　of　fact；　as　is　already　known；　that　is　just　what　the　majority　of　the　guests　did　say　about　her。）

Phyllis　reddened　and　seemedfor　a　moment　or　twoalmost　angry。　Then　she　made　a　little　gesture；　expressive　of　indifference；　as　she　cried：

〃After　all；　what　does　it　matter　what　they　said？　I　don't　care　about　them。　It　is　for　you　I　care；　Ellayou；　only　you。〃

〃Heavens！　how　seriously　you　say　that！〃　cried　Ella。　〃There's　no　cause　for　seriousness；　I　hope；　even　if　you　do　care　a　great　deal　for　me；　which　I　know　you　do。　If　you　said　so　much　to　a　man；say；　Herbert　Courtland；it　would　be　quite　another　matter。　There　would　be　sufficient　cause　for　seriousness　then。　But　you　didn't　say　so　much　to　him。　He　ran　away　before　you　could　say　it。〃

〃Oh；　Ella！　please　don't　talk　in　that　way。　It　is　not　like　yourself　to　talk　in　that　way。〃

〃How　do　you　know　what　is　like　myself　and　what　is　not？　You　have　only　seen　one　side　of　me；　and　I　don't　think　that　you　have　understood　even　what　you　have　seen。　Great　Heavens！　how　could　I　expect　that　you　should。　Not　until　within　a　few　months　ago　had　I　myself　any　idea　that　my　nature　was　made　up　of　more　than　one　element。　Do　you　fancy　now　that　you　will　always　be　in　the　future　as　you　have　been　in　the　past？　The　same　placid；　sweet　English　girl；　with　serious　thoughts　at　times　about　your　own　soul　and　other　people's　souls？　a　maiden　living　with　her　feet　only　touching　the　common　clay　of　this　earth？　Wait　until　your　hour　comesyour　hour　of　love；　your　hour　of　fate；　your　hour　of　self…abandonment；　and　pray　to　your　God　that　you　may　come　through　it　as　well　as　I　came　through　mine。〃

〃Ella；　dearest　Ella！〃

〃You　know　nothing　of　that　hourthat　terrible　hour！　Wait　until　it　comes　to　you　before　you　think　a　word　of　evil　against　any　woman　that　lives　in　the　world。　Wait　until　your　hour　of　jealousy　comeswait　until　you　find　that　your　hair　is　turning　gray。　The　most　tragical　moment　in　a　woman's　life　is　when　she　finds　that　the　gray　hairs　will　not　be　kept　back。　That　is　the　time　when　she　thinks　of　Heaven　most　seriously。　I　have　not　yet　found　a　single　gray　hair　in　my　head；　but　I　have　suffered　all　else；　and　I　have　been　an　astonishment　to　myselfas　I　have　been　to　you　more　than　once　before　now；　and　as　I　certainly　am　to　you　at　the　present　moment。〃

She　had　spoken　at　first　with　quivering　lips；　her　fingers　interlaced；　her　eyes　flashing。　She　had　sprung　from　her　seat　and　had　begun　to　pace　the　room　just　as　she　had　paced　Phyllis'　drawing　room　on　that　night　when　she　had　missed　the　performance　of　〃Romeo　and　Juliet；〃　but　she　ended　with　a　laugh；　which　was　meant　to　make　a　mock　of　the　seriousness　of　her　impassioned　words；　but　which　only　had　the　effect　of　emphasizing　her　passion　in　the　ears　of　the　girl。

While　she　was　still　lying　back；　laughing；　in　the　chair　into　which　she　had　thrown　herself　once　more；　Phyllis　went　to　her　and　knelt　at　her　feet；　taking　her　hands　just　as　Herbert　had　taken　her　hands　in　the　evening　when　he　had　knelt　at　her　feet　in　her　own　house　after　the　little　dinner　at　Mr。　Ayrton's。

〃Ella；　Ella；〃　she　whispered；　〃I　also　am　a　woman。　Oh；　my　dearest！　I　think　that　I　can　understand　something　of　your　heart。　I　know　a　little。　Oh；　Ella；　Ella！　I　would　do　anything　in　the　world　to　help　youanything　anything！〃

〃Would　you？〃　cried　the　woman。　〃Would　you　do　anything？　Would　you　give　up　Herbert　Courtland　in　order　to　help　me？〃

She　had　grasped　Phyllis　by　the　wrists　and　had　bent　her　own　head　forward　until　her　face　was　within　an　inch　of　Phyllis'。　Their　breaths　mingled。　Their　faces　were　too　close　to　admit　of　either　of　them　seeing　the　expression　that　was　in　the　eyes　of　the　other。

〃Dearest　Ella；　you　will　not　break　my　heart！〃　said　the　girl　piteously。

〃Will　you　give　him　up　for　your　love　of　me？〃　the　woman　cried　again；　and　Phyllis　felt　her　hands　tighten　upon　her　wrists。

〃I　will　forget　that　you　have　said　such　words；〃　said　the　girl。

The　woman　flung　away　her　hands　after　retaining　them　for　a　few　moments　in　silence；　and　then　throwing　herself　back　in　her　chair；　laughed　loud　and　long。

Phyllis　rose　to　her　feet。

〃You　poor　dear！〃　cried　Ella。　〃It　was　a　shamea　shame　to　play　such　a　jest　upon　you！　But　I　felt　in　a　tragic　mood；　and　the　line　between　comedy　and　tragedy　is　a　very　fine　one。　Forgive　my　little　freak；　dear；　and　let　us　be　human　beings　once　more；　living　in　a　world　that　cannot　be　taken　so　seriously。　Don't　go　by　the　evening　train；　Phyllis；　stay　all　night　with　me。　I　have　so　much　to　say　to　you。　I　want　to　talk　to　you。　How　can　you　leave　me　here　all　alone？〃

Phyllis　could　have　told　her　that　how　she　could　leave　her　all　alone　was　because　Herbert　Courtland　had　left　for　London　on　the　previous　day。　She　did　not　make　an　explanation　to　her　on　this　basis；　however；　she　merely　said　that　it　would　interfere　with　her　plan