phyllis of philistia-第3章
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And then she saw several of the young women who had been wearing sober shades of dresses for some years；though in their hearts （and she knew it） they were passionately attached to colors；appearing like poppies once more； and looking very much the better for the change； too； and she felt that it was truly sad for young women towell； to show their hands； so to speak。 They might have waited for some weeks before returning to the colors of the secular。
She did not know that they felt that they had wasted too much time in sober shades already。 The days are precious in a world in which no really trustworthy hair dye may be bought for money。
And then there came to her a month of coldly inquisitive doubt。 （This was when people had ceased to congratulate her and to talk； the nice ones； of the great cleverness of George Holland； the nasty ones； of the great pity that so delightful a man did not come of a better family。）
Why should she begin to ask herself if she really loved George Holland； if the feeling she had for him should be called by the name of love； or by some other name that did not mean just the same thing？ Of course she had thought a good dealthough her father did not know itof love。 She had seen upon other people the effect of the possession of this gift of love； how it had caused them to forget pain and poverty； and shame； and infamy； and God； and death； and hell。 Ah！ that was lovethat was love！ and she had hoped that one day such a gift of love would be given to her； for it was surely the thing that was best worth having in the world！ Once or twice she had fancied that it was at the point of being given to her。 There had been certain thrilling passages between herself and two men；an interval of a year between each；and there had also been a kiss in an alcove designed by her dearest friend； Ella Linton； for the undoing of mankind； a place of softened lights and shadowy palms。 It was her recollection of these incidents that had caused her to fumble with the blind cord when her father had been suggesting to her the disadvantages of inexperience in matters of the heart。 But the incidents had led to nothing； except； perhaps； a week or two of remorse。 But she could not help feeling； when that month of curious doubt was upon her； that the little thrill which she had felt when one man had put his arm around her for an instant； when another manhe was very younghad put his lips upon her mouthit was a straightforward kisssuggested a nearer approach to love than she had yet been conscious of in the presence of George Holland。 （He had never done more than kiss her hand。 Is it on record that any man did more when dressed with the severity of the cleric？）
This was a terrible impression for a young woman to retain before her engagement to a man has passed into its third month。 Then she began to wonder if all her previous ideasall her previous aspirationswere mistaken。 She began to wonder if this was the reality of lovethis conviction that there was nothing in the whole world that she would welcome with more enthusiasm than an announcement on the part of her father that he was going on a voyage to Australia； and that he meant to take her with him。
And then
Well； then she threw herself upon her bed and wept for an hour one evening； and for two hours （at intervals） another evening； and then looked up the old published speeches made by a certain cabinet minister in his irresponsible days； on a question which he had recently introduced。 Her father was bitterly opposed to the most recent views of the minister； and was particularly anxious to confront him with his own phrases of thirty years back。 She spent four hours copying out the words which were now meant by Mr。 Ayrton to confound the utterer。
CHAPTER III。
THE BISHOP KNEW SOMETHING OF MAN； AND HE KNEW SOMETHING OF THE CHURCH； HE EVEN KNEW SOMETHING OF THE BIBLE。
Her father when he came in commended her diligence。 He read over those damning extracts； punctuating them with chuckles； he would make an example of that minister who had found it convenient to adopt a course diametrically opposed to the principle involved in his early speeches。 He chuckled； reading the extracts while he paced the room； drawing upon his stock of telling phrases； which were calculated to turn the derision of the whole House of Commons upon his opponent。
Thus； being very well satisfied with himself； he was satisfied with her； and kissed her； with a sigh。
〃What a treasure you are to me； dearest one！〃 he said。 There was a pause before he added； in a contemplative tone：
〃I suppose a clergyman has no need ever to hunt up the past deliverances of another clergyman in order to confound him out of his own mouth。 Ah； no； I should fancy not。〃
Regret was in his voice。 He seemed to suggest to her that he believed her powers would be wasted as the wife of a man who； of course； being a clergyman； could have no enemies。
〃Dearest papa！〃 she cried； throwing herself into his arms； and sobbing on his shirt front； 〃dearest papa； I will not leave you。 I don't want to be anyone's wife。 I want to be your daughteronly to be your daughter。〃
He comforted her with kisses and soothing smoothings of the hair。 No； no； he said； he would not be selfish。 He would remember that a father was the trustee of his child's happiness。
〃But I know I can only be happy with you； my father！〃 she cried； but it was of no avail。 He； being a father and not a mother； was unable to perceive what was in the girl's heart。 He considered it quite natural that she should be a trifle hysterical in anticipating her new life that strange untraveled country！ Ah； is there anything more pathetic； he thought； than a girl's anticipations of wifehood？ But he would do his duty； and he fancied that he was doing his duty when he put aside her earnest； almost passionate protestations； and told her how happy she would be with the man who was lucky enough to have won the pure treasure of her love。
What could she do？ The terrible doubts of that month of doubting broadened into certainties。 She knew that she did not love George Holland； but she had not the courage to face Philistia as the girl who did not know her own mind。 Philistia was very solid on such points as the sacredness of an engagement between a man and a woman。 It was a contract practically as abiding as marriage； in the eyes of Philistia； and； indeed； Phyllis herself had held this belief； and had never hesitated to express it。 So nothing was left to her but to marry George Holland。 After all； he was a brilliant and distinguished man； and had not a score of other girls wanted to marry him？ Oh； she would marry him and give up her life to the splendid duties which devolve upon the wife of a clergyman。
But just as she had made up her mind to face her fate； Mr。 Holland's fate induced him to publish the book at which he had been working for some time。 It came out just when the girl was becoming resigned to her future by his side； and it attracted even more attention than the author had hoped it would achieve。
The book was titled 〃Revised Versions；〃 and it was strikingly modern in design and in tone。 It purported to deal with several personages and numerous episodes of the Old Testament； not from the standpoint of the comparative philologist； not from the standpoint of the comparative mythologist； but from the standpoint of the modern man of common sense and average power of discrimination； and the result was that the breath of a good many people； especially clergymen； was taken from them； and that the Rev。 George Holland became the best…known clergyman in England。
He dealt with the patriarchs in succession； and they fared very badly at his hands。 He showed that Abraham had not one good act recorded to his credit； and contrasted his duplicity with the magnanimity of the ruler of Egypt whom he visited。 He dwelt upon the Hagar episode； showing that the adulterer was also a murderer by intention； and so forth； while no words could be too strong to apply to Sara； his wife。 Isaac did not call for elaborate notice。 He could not be accused of any actual crime； but if he was a man of strong personality； he was singularly unfortunate in having failed to impart to his wife any of that
