phyllis of philistia-第24章

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the　publishers　of　the　latter　moved　heaven　and　earth　（that　is　to　say；　the　bishop　and　the　people's　churchwarden）　to　get　the　Rev。　George　Holland　prosecuted。　If　either　had　been　susceptible　to　reason；　and　had　got　up　a　case　against　their　author；　the　publishers　declared　that　Mr。　Courtland's　book　would　not　have　had　a　chance　with　〃Revised　Versions。〃　To　be　sure　they　admitted　that　the　report　that　Mr。　Holland　had　been　thrown　over　by　the　lady　who　had　promised　to　marry　him　had　given　a　jerk　forward　to　the　sales；　but　when　Mr。　George　Holland　had　been　so　idiotically　blind　to　his　best　interests　and　（incidentally）　the　best　interests　of　his　publishers；　as　to　contradict　this　suggestion　of　incipient　martyrdom；　and　thus　an　excellent　advertisement　had　been　lost；　and　everyone　was；　in　a　week　or　two；　talking　about　〃The　Quest　of　the　Meteor…Bird；〃　while　only　a　few　continued　shaking　their　heads　over　〃Revised　Versions。〃

Meantime；　however；　Mr。　Courtland　thought　it　well　to　call　upon　Mr。　Ayrton　in　order　to　thank　him　for　his　kindness　in　replying　in　the　House　of　Commons　so　effectively　to　the　questions　put　to　the　various　ministers　by　Mr。　Apthomas；　and　Mr。　Ayrton　had　asked　Mr。　Courtland　to　dinner；　and　Mr。　Courtland　had　accepted　the　invitation；　Miss　Ayrton　begging　Mrs。　Linton　to　be　of　the　party；　and　Mrs。　Linton　yielding　to　her　petition　without　demur。



CHAPTER　XVI。

WOULD　IT　BE　WELL　WITH　MY　HUSBAND？

It　was　on　their　way　back　from　this　little　dinner…party　that　Mr。　Courtland　confessed　to　Ella　Linton　that　he　had　come　to　think　of　her　dearest　friend　as　a　most　charming　and　original　girl；　she　had　never　once　referred　to　his　achievements　in　New　Guinea；　nor　had　she　asked　him　to　write　his　name　in　her　birthday　book。　Yes；　she　was　not　as　other　girls。

〃I'm　so　delighted　to　hear　you　say　so　much；〃　said　Ella。　〃Oh；　Bertie！　why　not　make　yourself　happy　with　a　sweet　girl　such　as　she；　and　give　no　more　thought　to　such　absurdities　as　you　have　been　indulging　in？　Believe　me；　you　don't　know　so　well　as　I　do　in　what　direction　your　happiness　lies。〃

〃I　don't　know　anything　about　happiness；〃　said　he。　〃I　don't　seem　to　care　much；　either。　When　I　made　up　my　mind　to　find　the　meteor…bird；　don't　you　suppose　that　there　were　many　people　who　told　me　that；　even　if　it　was　found；　it　was　quite　unlikely　that　it　would　be　more　succulent　eating　than　a　Dorking　chicken？　I'm　sure　they　were　right。　You　see；　I　didn't　go　to　New　Guinea　in　search　of　a　barndoor　fowl。　I　don't　want　domestic　happiness；　I　don't　want　anything　but　youyou　are　my　meteor…　bird。　I　found；　after　my　first　visit　to　New　Guinea；　that　it　was　impossible　for　me　to　rest　until　I　had　found　the　meteor…bird。　I　have　found　that　it　is　impossible　for　me　to　live　without　you；　my　beloved。〃

〃You　will　have　to　learn　to　live　without　me；〃　said　she；　laying　her　hand　upon　his。　They　had　now　reached　her　house；　so　that　no　immediate　reply　was　possible。　He　did　not　attempt　to　make　a　reply　until　they　had　gone　into　a　small　drawing　room；　and　she　had　flung　off　her　wrap。　They　were　alone。

Then　he　knelt　on　the　rug　before　her　and　took　both　her　hands　in　his　own　a　hand　in　each　of　his　handsas　they　lay　on　her　dress。　His　face　was　close　to　hers：　she　was　in　a　low　chair。　Each　could　hear　the　sound　of　the　other's　breathingthe　sound　of　the　other's　heart…beats。　That　duet　went　on　for　some　minutesthe　most　perfect　music　in　lifethe　music　which　is　life　itselfthe　music　by　which　man　becomes　immortal。

〃Do　not　hold　me　any　longer；　Bertie；〃　said　she。　〃Kiss　me　and　go　away　away。　Oh；　why　should　you　ever　come　back？　I　believe　that；　if　you　loved　me；　you　would　go　away　and　never　come　back。　Oh；　what　is　this　farce　that　is　being　played　between　us？　It　is　unworthy　of　either　of　us！〃

〃A　farce？　A　tragedy！〃　said　he。　〃I　want　you；　Ella。　I　told　you　that　I　could　not　live　without　you。〃

〃You　want　me？　You　want　me；　Bertie？〃　said　she。　Tears　were　in　her　eyes　and　in　her　voice；　for　there　was　to　her　a　passion　of　pathos　in　those　words　of　his。　〃You　want　me；　and　you　know　that　it　is　only　my　soul　that　shall　be　lost　if　I　give　myself　to　you。　God　has　decreed　that　only　the　soul　of　the　woman　pays　the　penalty　of　the　man's　longing　for　her。〃

〃You　soul　shall　be　saved；　not　lost；〃　said　he。　〃At　present　it　is　your　soul　that　is　in　peril；　when　you　give　your　sweetness　to　the　man　whom　you　have　ceased　to　loveah！　whom　you　never　loved。　You　will　save　your　soul　with　me。〃

〃I　shall　lose　it　for　all　eternity；〃　said　she。　〃Do　you　think　that　I　complain？　Do　you　fancy　for　a　moment　that　I　grumble　at　the　decree　of　God；　or　that　I　rail　against　it　as　unjust？〃

〃You　are　a　woman。〃

〃I　am　a　woman；　and　therefore　you　know　I　will　one　day　be　ready　to　lose　my　soul　for　you；　Bertie；　my　love。　Oh；　my　dear；　dear　love；　you　say　you　want　me？〃

〃Oh；　my　God！〃

He　had　sprung　to　his　feet　and　was　pacing　the　room　before　her。

〃You　say　that　you　want　me。　Oh；　my　love；　my　love；　do　you　fancy　for　a　moment　that　your　longing　for　me　is　anything　to　be　compared　to　my　longing　for　you？〃

〃My　beloved；　my　beloved！〃

His　arms　were　about　her。　His　lips　were　upon　hers。　She　kissed　him　as　he　kissed　her。

Then　she　turned　her　head　away　so　that　his　kisses　fell　upon　her　cheek　instead　of　her　mouth。　She　turned　it　still　farther　and　they　fell　upon　her　neckit　was　exquisite　in　its　shapeand　lay　there　like　red　rose…　leaves　clinging　to　a　carved　marble　pillar。

〃Wait；〃　she　said。　〃Wait；　let　me　talk　to　you。〃

She　untwined　his　arms　from　about　herthe　tears　were　still　in　her　eyes　as　she　tried　to　face　him。

〃Why　should　you　still　have　tears？〃　said　he。　〃If　anything　stood　between　us　and　love；　there　might　be　room　for　tears；　but　nothing　stands　between　us　now。　I　am　yours；　you　are　mine。〃

〃That　is　the　boast　of　a　man　who　sees　only　the　beginning　of　a　love；　mine　are　the　tears　of　a　woman　who　sees　its　end；　and　knows　that　it　is　not　far　off。〃

〃How　can　you　say　that？　The　end？　the　end　of　love　such　as　ours？　Oh；　Ella！〃

〃Oh；　listen　to　me；　my　love！　I　am　ashamed　of　the　part　I　have　played　during　the　past　six　monthssince　we　were　together　on　the　Arno；　and　you　are　ashamed；　too。〃

〃I　am　not　ashamed。　I　have　no　reason　to　be　ashamed。〃

〃No；　you　are　not　ashamed　of　the　part　you　have　played；　but　you　are　ashamed　of　me；　Bertie。〃

〃Oh　you？　Iashamed　of　you？　Oh；　my　darling；　if　you　talk　longer　in　that　strain　I　will　be　ashamed　of　you。〃

〃You　are　ashamed　of　meI　have　sometimes　felt　it。　A　man　with　a　heart　such　as　I　know　yours　to　be；　cannot　but　be　ashamed　of　a　woman；　who；　though　the　wife　of　another　man；　allows　him　to　kiss　heryes；　and　who　gives　him　kiss　for　kiss。　Oh；　go　awaygo　away！　I　have　had　enough　of　your　loveenough　of　your　kisses；　enough　shame！　Go　away！　I　never　wish　to　see　you　againto　kiss　you　again。〃

She　had　walked　to　the　other　end　of　the　room；　and　stood　under　a　Venetian　mirrorit　shone　like　a　monstrous　jewel　above　her　head　looking　at　him；　her　hands　clenched；　her　eyes　flashing　through　the　tears　that　had　not　yet　fallen。

He　had　had　no　experience　of　women　and　their　moods；　and　he　was　consequently　amazed　at　her　attitude。　He　took　a　step　toward　her。

〃Nono；〃　she　cried　angrily。　〃I　will　not　have　any　more　of　you。　I　tell　you　that　I　have　had　enough。　I　find　now　that　what　I　mistook　for　love　was　just　the　opposite。　I　believe　that　I　hate　you。　Nono；　Bertie；　not　that；　it　cannot　be　that；　only　Oh；　I　know　now　that　it　is　not　hate　for　you　that　I　feelit　is　hate　for　myself；　hate　for　the　creature　who　is　hateful　enough　to　stand　between　you　and　the　happiness　which　you　have　earned　by　patience；　by　constancy；　by　self…control。　Yes；　I　hate　the　creature　who　is　idiotic　enough　to　put　honor　between　us；　to　put　religion　between　us；　to　put　her　soul's　salvation　between　us。〃

〃Ella；　Ella；　why　will　you　not　trust　me？〃　he　said；　when　she　had　flung　herself　into　a　chair。　He　was　standing　over　her　with　his　hands　clasped　behind　him。　He　was　beginning　to　understand　something　of　her　nature；　of　the　nature　of　the　woman　to　whom　love　has　come　as　a　thief　in　the　night。　He　was　beginning　to　perceive　that　she　had；　in　her　ignorance；　been　ready　to　entertain　love　without　knowing　what　was　entailed　by　entertaining　him。　〃If　you　would　only　trust　me；　all　would　be　well。〃

She　almost　leaped　from　her　chair。

〃Would　it？〃　she　cried。　〃Would　all　be　well？　Would　it　be　well　with　my　soul？　Would　it　be　well　with　both　of　us　in　the　future？　Would　it　be　well　with　my　husband？〃

He　laughed。

〃I