memoir of fleeming jenkin-第18章
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pursuits of business men。 As for so…called idleness … that is; one
form of it … I vow it is the noblest aim of man。 When idle; one
can love; one can be good; feel kindly to all; devote oneself to
others; be thankful for existence; educate one's mind; one's heart;
one's body。 When busy; as I am busy now or have been busy to…day;
one feels just as you sometimes felt when you were too busy; owing
to want of servants。
'DEC。 5。 … On Sunday I was at Isleworth; chiefly engaged in playing
with Odden。 We had the most enchanting walk together through the
brickfields。 It was very muddy; and; as he remarked; not fit for
Nanna; but fit for us MEN。 The dreary waste of bared earth;
thatched sheds and standing water; was a paradise to him; and when
we walked up planks to deserted mixing and crushing mills; and
actually saw where the clay was stirred with long iron prongs; and
chalk or lime ground with 〃a tind of a mill;〃 his expression of
contentment and triumphant heroism knew no limit to its beauty。 Of
course on returning I found Mrs。 Austin looking out at the door in
an anxious manner; and thinking we had been out quite long enough。
。 。 。 I am reading Don Quixote chiefly and am his fervent admirer;
but I am so sorry he did not place his affections on a Dulcinea of
somewhat worthier stamp。 In fact I think there must be a mistake
about it。 Don Quixote might and would serve his lady in most
preposterous fashion; but I am sure he would have chosen a lady of
merit。 He imagined her to be such no doubt; and drew a charming
picture of her occupations by the banks of the river; but in his
other imaginations; there was some kind of peg on which to hang the
false costumes he created; windmills are big; and wave their arms
like giants; sheep in the distance are somewhat like an army; a
little boat on the river…side must look much the same whether
enchanted or belonging to millers; but except that Dulcinea is a
woman; she bears no resemblance at all to the damsel of his
imagination。'
At the time of these letters; the oldest son only was born to them。
In September of the next year; with the birth of the second;
Charles Frewen; there befell Fleeming a terrible alarm and what
proved to be a lifelong misfortune。 Mrs。 Jenkin was taken suddenly
and alarmingly ill; Fleeming ran a matter of two miles to fetch the
doctor; and; drenched with sweat as he was; returned with him at
once in an open gig。 On their arrival at the house; Mrs。 Jenkin
half unconsciously took and kept hold of her husband's hand。 By
the doctor's orders; windows and doors were set open to create a
thorough draught; and the patient was on no account to be
disturbed。 Thus; then; did Fleeming pass the whole of that night;
crouching on the floor in the draught; and not daring to move lest
he should wake the sleeper。 He had never been strong; energy had
stood him instead of vigour; and the result of that night's
exposure was flying rheumatism varied by settled sciatica。
Sometimes it quite disabled him; sometimes it was less acute; but
he was rarely free from it until his death。 I knew him for many
years; for more than ten we were closely intimate; I have lived
with him for weeks; and during all this time; he only once referred
to his infirmity and then perforce as an excuse for some trouble he
put me to; and so slightly worded that I paid no heed。 This is a
good measure of his courage under sufferings of which none but the
untried will think lightly。 And I think it worth noting how this
optimist was acquainted with pain。 It will seem strange only to
the superficial。 The disease of pessimism springs never from real
troubles; which it braces men to bear; which it delights men to
bear well。 Nor does it readily spring at all; in minds that have
conceived of life as a field of ordered duties; not as a chase in
which to hunt for gratifications。 'We are not here to be happy;
but to be good'; I wish he had mended the phrase: 'We are not here
to be happy; but to try to be good;' comes nearer the modesty of
truth。 With such old…fashioned morality; it is possible to get
through life; and see the worst of it; and feel some of the worst
of it; and still acquiesce piously and even gladly in man's fate。
Feel some of the worst of it; I say; for some of the rest of the
worst is; by this simple faith; excluded。
It was in the year 1868; that the clouds finally rose。 The
business in partnership with Mr。 Forde began suddenly to pay well;
about the same time the patents showed themselves a valuable
property; and but a little after; Fleeming was appointed to the new
chair of engineering in the University of Edinburgh。 Thus; almost
at once; pecuniary embarrassments passed for ever out of his life。
Here is his own epilogue to the time at Claygate; and his
anticipations of the future in Edinburgh。
' 。 。 。 。 The dear old house at Claygate is not let and the pretty
garden a mass of weeds。 I feel rather as if we had behaved
unkindly to them。 We were very happy there; but now that it is
over I am conscious of the weight of anxiety as to money which I
bore all the time。 With you in the garden; with Austin in the
coach…house; with pretty songs in the little; low white room; with
the moonlight in the dear room up…stairs; ah; it was perfect; but
the long walk; wondering; pondering; fearing; scheming; and the
dusty jolting railway; and the horrid fusty office with its endless
disappointments; they are well gone。 It is well enough to fight
and scheme and bustle about in the eager crowd here 'in London' for
a while now and then; but not for a lifetime。 What I have now is
just perfect。 Study for winter; action for summer; lovely country
for recreation; a pleasant town for talk 。 。 。'
CHAPTER V。 … NOTES OF TELEGRAPH VOYAGES; 1858 TO 1873。
BUT it is now time to see Jenkin at his life's work。 I have before
me certain imperfect series of letters written; as he says; 'at
hazard; for one does not know at the time what is important and
what is not': the earlier addressed to Miss Austin; after the
betrothal; the later to Mrs。 Jenkin the young wife。 I should
premise that I have allowed myself certain editorial freedoms;
leaving out and splicing together much as he himself did with the
Bona cable: thus edited the letters speak for themselves; and will
fail to interest none who love adventure or activity。 Addressed as
they were to her whom he called his 'dear engineering pupil;' they
give a picture of his work so clear that a child may understand;
and so attractive that I am half afraid their publication may prove
harmful; and still further crowd the ranks of a profession already
overcrowded。 But their most engaging quality is the picture of the
writer; with his indomitable self…confidence and courage; his
readiness in every pinch of circumstance or change of plan; and his
ever fresh enjoyment of the whole web of human experience; nature;
adventure; science; toil and rest; society and solitude。 It should
be borne in mind that the writer of these buoyant pages was; even
while he wrote; harassed by responsibility; stinted in sleep and
often struggling with the prostration of sea…sickness。 To this
last enemy; which he never overcame; I have omitted; in my search
after condensation; a good many references; if they were all left;
such was the man's temper; they would not represent one hundredth
part of what he suffered; for he was never given to complaint。 But
indeed he had met this ugly trifle; as he met every thwart
circumstance of life; with a certain pleasure of pugnacity; and
suffered it not to check him; whether in the exercise of his
profession or the pursuit of amusement。
I。
'Birkenhead: April 18; 1858。
'Well; you should know; Mr。 … having a contract to lay down a
subma