original short stories-13-第22章

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window；　from　a　hook　in　the　ceiling；　from　a　beam　in　the　garret；　from　a
branch　of　a　tree　amid　the　evening　rain。　　And　I　surmised　all　that　had
happened　before　they　hung　there　motionless；　their　tongues　hanging　out　of
their　mouths。　　I　imagined　the　anguish　of　their　heart；　their　final
hesitation；　their　attempts　to　fasten　the　rope；　to　determine　that　it　was
secure；　then　to　pass　the　noose　round　their　neck　and　to　let　themselves
fall。

I　saw　others　lying　on　wretched　beds；　mothers　with　their　little　children；
old　men　dying　of　hunger；　young　girls　dying　for　love；　all　rigid；
suffocated；　asphyxiated；　while　in　the　center　of　the　room　the　brasier
still　gave　forth　the　fumes　of　charcoal。

And　I　saw　others　walking　at　night　along　the　deserted　bridges。　　These　were
the　most　sinister。　The　water　flowed　under　the　arches　with　a　low　sound。
They　did　not　see　it　。　　。　　。　　they　guessed　at　it　from　its　cool　breath！
They　longed　for　it　and　they　feared　it。　　They　dared　not　do　it！　　And　yet；
they　must。　　A　distant　clock　sounded　the　hour　and；　suddenly；　in　the　vast
silence　of　the　night；　there　was　heard　the　splash　of　a　body　falling　into
the　river；　a　scream　or　two；　the　sound　of　hands　beating　the　water；　and　all
was　still。　　Sometimes；　even；　there　was　only　the　sound　of　the　falling　body
when　they　had　tied　their　arms　down　or　fastened　a　stone　to　their　feet。
Oh；　the　poor　things；　the　poor　things；　the　poor　things；　how　I　felt　their
anguish；　how　I　died　in　their　death！　　I　went　through　all　their
wretchedness；　I　endured　in　one　hour　all　their　tortures。　　I　knew　all　the
sorrows　that　had　led　them　to　this；　for　I　know　the　deceitful　infamy　of
life；　and　no　one　has　felt　it　more　than　I　have。

How　I　understood　them；　these　who　weak；　harassed　by　misfortune；　having
lost　those　they　loved；　awakened　from　the　dream　of　a　tardy　compensation；
from　the　illusion　of　another　existence　where　God　will　finally　be　just；
after　having　been　ferocious；　and　their　minds　disabused　of　the　mirages　of
happiness；　have　given　up　the　fight　and　desire　to　put　an　end　to　this
ceaseless　tragedy；　or　this　shameful　comedy。

Suicide！　　Why；　it　is　the　strength　of　those　whose　strength　is　exhausted；
the　hope　of　those　who　no　longer　believe；　the　sublime　courage　of　the
conquered！　　Yes；　there　is　at　least　one　door　to　this　life　we　can　always
open　and　pass　through　to　the　other　side。　　Nature　had　an　impulse　of　pity；
she　did　not　shut　us　up　in　prison。　　Mercy　for　the　despairing！

As　for　those　who　are　simply　disillusioned；　let　them　march　ahead　with　free
soul　and　quiet　heart。　　They　have　nothing　to　fear　since　they　may　take
their　leave；　for　behind　them　there　is　always　this　door　that　the　gods　of
our　illusions　cannot　even　lock。

I　thought　of　this　crowd　of　suicides：　more　than　eight　thousand　five
hundred　in　one　year。　　And　it　seemed　to　me　that　they　had　combined　to　send
to　the　world　a　prayer；　to　utter　a　cry　of　appeal；　to　demand　something　that
should　come　into　effect　later　when　we　understood　things　better。　　It
seemed　to　me　that　all　these　victims；　their　throats　cut；　poisoned；　hung；
asphyxiated；　or　drowned；　all　came　together；　a　frightful　horde；　like
citizens　to　the　polls；　to　say　to　society：

〃Grant　us；　at　least；　a　gentle　death！　　Help　us　to　die；　you　who　will　not
help　us　to　live！　　See；　we　are　numerous；　we　have　the　right　to　speak　in
these　days　of　freedom；　of　philosophic　independence　and　of　popular
suffrage。　　Give　to　those　who　renounce　life　the　charity　of　a　death　that
will　not　be　repugnant　nor　terrible。〃

I　began　to　dream；　allowing　my　fancy　to　roam　at　will　in　weird　and
mysterious　fashion　on　this　subject。

I　seemed　to　be　all　at　once　in　a　beautiful　city。　　It　was　Paris；　but　at
what　period？　　I　walked　about　the　streets；　looking　at　the　houses；　the
theaters；　the　public　buildings；　and　presently　found　myself　in　a　square
where　I　remarked　a　large　building；　very　handsome；　dainty　and　attractive。
I　was　surprised　on　reading　on　the　facade　this　inscription　in　letters　of
gold；　〃Suicide　Bureau。〃

Oh；　the　weirdness　of　waking　dreams　where　the　spirit　soars　into　a　world　of
unrealities　and　possibilities！　　Nothing　astonishes　one；　nothing　shocks
one；　and　the　unbridled　fancy　makes　no　distinction　between　the　comic　and
the　tragic。

I　approached　the　building　where　footmen　in　knee…breeches　were　seated　in
the　vestibule　in　front　of　a　cloak…room　as　they　do　at　the　entrance　of　a
club。

I　entered　out　of　curiosity。　　One　of　the　men　rose　and　said：

〃What　does　monsieur　wish？〃

〃I　wish　to　know　what　building　this　is。〃

〃Nothing　more？〃

〃Why；　no。〃

〃Then　would　monsieur　like　me　to　take　him　to　the　Secretary　of　the　Bureau？〃

I　hesitated；　and　asked：

〃But　will　not　that　disturb　him？〃

〃Oh；　no；　monsieur；　he　is　here　to　receive　those　who　desire　information。〃

〃Well；　lead　the　way。〃

He　took　me　through　corridors　where　old　gentlemen　were　chatting；　and
finally　led　me　into　a　beautiful　office；　somewhat　somber；　furnished
throughout　in　black　wood。　　A　stout　young　man　with　a　corporation　was
writing　a　letter　as　he　smoked　a　cigar；　the　fragrance　of　which　gave
evidence　of　its　quality。

He　rose。　　We　bowed　to　each　other；　and　as　soon　as　the　footman　had　retired
he　asked：

〃What　can　I　do　for　you？〃

〃Monsieur；〃　I　replied；　〃pardon　my　curiosity。　　I　had　never　seen　this
establishment。　　The　few　words　inscribed　on　the　facade　filled　me　with
astonishment；　and　I　wanted　to　know　what　was　going　on　here。〃

He　smiled　before　replying；　then　said　in　a　low　tone　with　a　complacent　air：

〃Mon　Dieu；　monsieur；　we　put　to　death　in　a　cleanly　and　gentleI　do　not
venture　to　say　agreeable　manner　those　persons　who　desire　to　die。〃

I　did　not　feel　very　shocked；　for　it　really　seemed　to　me　natural　and
right。　　What　particularly　surprised　me　was　that　on　this　planet；　with　its
low；　utilitarian；　humanitarian　ideals；　selfish　and　coercive　of　all　true
freedom；　any　one　should　venture　on　a　similar　enterprise；　worthy　of　an
emancipated　humanity。

〃How　did　you　get　the　idea？〃　I　asked。

〃Monsieur；〃　he　replied；　〃the　number　of　suicides　increased　so　enormously
during　the　five　years　succeeding　the　world　exposition　of　1889　that　some
measures　were　urgently　needed。　　People　killed　themselves　in　the　streets；
at　fetes；　in　restaurants；　at　the　theater；　in　railway　carriages；　at　the
receptions　held　by　the　President　of　the　Republic；　everywhere。　　It　was　not
only　a　horrid　sight　for　those　who　love　life；　as　I　do；　but　also　a　bad
example　for　children。　　Hence　it　became　necessary　to　centralize　suicides。〃

〃What　caused　this　suicidal　epidemic？〃

〃I　do　not　know。　　The　fact　is；　I　believe；　the　world　is　growing　old。
People　begin　to　see　things　clearly　and　they　are　getting　disgruntled。
It　is　the　same　to…day　with　destiny　as　with　the　government；　we　have　found
out　what　it　is；　people　find　that　they　are　swindled　in　every　direction；
and　they　just　get　out　of　it　all。　　When　one　discovers　that　Providence
lies；　cheats；　robs；　deceives　human　beings　just　as　a　plain　Deputy　deceives
his　constituents；　one　gets　angry；　and　as　one　cannot　nominate　a　fresh
Providence　every　three　months　as　we　do　with　our　privileged
representatives；　one　just　gets　out　of　the　whole　thing；　which　is　decidedly
bad。〃

〃Really！〃

〃Oh；　as　for　me；　I　am　not　complaining。〃

〃Will　you　inform　me　how　you　carry　on　this　establishment？〃

〃With　pleasure。　　You　may　become　a　member　when　you　please。　　It　is　a　club。〃

〃A　club！〃

〃Yes；　monsieur；　founded　by　the　most　eminent　men　in　the　country；　by　men　of
the　highest　intellect　and　brightest　intelligence。　　And；〃　he　added；
laughing　heartily；　〃I　swear　to　you　that　every　one　gets　a　great　deal　of
enjoyment　out　of　it。〃

〃In　this　place？〃

〃Yes；　in　this　place。〃

〃You　surprise　me。〃

〃Mon　Dieu；　they　enjoy　themselves　because　they　have　not　that　fear　of　death
which　is　the　great　killjoy　in　all　our　earthly　pleasures。〃

〃But　why　should　they　be　members　of　this　club　if　they　do　not　kill
themselves？〃

〃One　may　be　a　member　of　the　club　without　being　obliged　for　that　reason　to
commit　suicide。〃

〃But　then？〃

〃I　will　explain。　　In　view　of　the　enormous　increase　in　suicides；　and　of
the　hideous　spectacle　they　presented；　a　purely　benevolent　society　was
formed　for　the　protection　of　those　in　despair；　which　placed　at　their
disposal　the　facilities　for　a　peaceful；　painless；　if　not　unforeseen
death。〃

〃Wh