five tales-第27章

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And　spinning　round　he　saw　Phyllis　in　the　doorway。　　Her　light　brown　hair　was　fluffed　out　on　her　shoulders；　so　that　he　felt　a　kind　of　fainting…sweet　sensation；　and　murmured　inarticulately：

〃Oh！　　I　sayhow　jolly！〃

〃Lawks！　　It's　awful！　　Have　you　come　to　see　mother？〃

Balanced　between　fear　and　daring；　conscious　of　a　scent　of　hay　and　verbena　and　camomile；　Bob　Pillin　stammered：

〃Ye…es。　　II'm　glad　she's　not　in；　though。〃

Her　laugh　seemed　to　him　terribly　unfeeling。

〃Oh！　　oh！　　Don't　be　foolish。　　Sit　down。　　Isn't　washing　one's　head　awful？〃

Bob　Pillin　answered　feebly：

〃Of　course；　I　haven't　much　experience。〃

Her　mouth　opened。

〃Oh！　　You　arearen't　you？〃

And　he　thought　desperately：　'Dare　Ioughtn't　Icouldn't　I　somehow　take'her　hand　or　put　my　arm　round　her；　or　something？'　　Instead；　he　sat　very　rigid　at　his　end　of　the　sofa；　while　she　sat　lax　and　lissom　at　the　other；　and　one　of　those　crises　of　paralysis　which　beset　would…　…be　lovers　fixed　him　to　the　soul。

Sometimes　during　this　last　month　memories　of　a　past　existence；　when　chaff　and　even　kisses　came　readily　to　the　lips；　and　girls　were　fair　game；　would　make　him　think：　'Is　she　really　such　an　innocent？　　Doesn't　she　really　want　me　to　kiss　her？'　　Alas！　such　intrusions　lasted　but　a　moment　before　a　blast　of　awe　and　chivalry　withered　them；　and　a　strange　and　tragic　delicacylike　nothing　he　had　ever　knownresumed　its　sway。　　And　suddenly　he　heard　her　say：

〃Why　do　you　know　such　awful　men？〃

〃What？　　I　don't　know　any　awful　men。〃

〃Oh　yes；　you　do；　one　came　here　yesterday；　he　had　whiskers；　and　he　was　awful。〃

〃Whiskers？〃　　His　soul　revolted　in　disclaimer。　　〃I　believe　I　only　know　one　man　with　whiskersa　lawyer。〃

〃Yesthat　was　him；　a　perfectly　horrid　man。　　Mother　didn't　mind　him；　but　I　thought　he　was　a　beast。〃

〃Ventnor！　　Came　here？　　How　d'you　mean？〃

〃He　did；　about　some　business　of　yours；　too。〃　　Her　face　had　clouded　over。　　Bob　Pillin　had　of　late　been　harassed　by　the　still…born　beginning　of　a　poem：

　　　　　　　　　〃I　rode　upon　my　way　and　saw　　　　　　　　　　　A　maid　who　watched　me　from　the　door。〃

It　never　grew　longer；　and　was　prompted　by　the　feeling　that　her　face　was　like　an　April　day。　　The　cloud　which　came　on　it　now　was　like　an　April　cloud；　as　if　a　bright　shower　of　rain　must　follow。　　Brushing　aside　the　two　distressful　lines；　he　said：

〃Look　here；　Miss　LarnePhyllislook　here！〃

〃All　right；　I'm　looking！〃

〃What　does　it　meanhow　did　he　come？　　What　did　he　say？〃

She　shook　her　head；　and　her　hair　quivered；　the　scent　of　camomile；　verbena；　hay　was　wafted；　then　looking　at　her　lap；　she　muttered：

〃I　wish　you　wouldn'tI　wish　mother　wouldn'tI　hate　it。　　Oh！　　Money！　Beastlybeastly！〃　and　a　tearful　sigh　shivered　itself　into　Bob　Pillin's　reddening　ears。

〃I　saydon't！　　And　do　tell　me；　because〃

〃Oh！　you　know。〃

〃I　don'tI　don't　know　anything　at　all。　　I　never…〃

Phyllis　looked　up　at　him。　　〃Don't　tell　fibs；　you　know　mother's　borrowing　money　from　you；　and　it's　hateful！〃

A　desire　to　lie　roundly；　a　sense　of　the　cheque　in　his　pocket；　a　feeling　of　injustice；　the　emotion　of　pity；　and　a　confused　and　black　astonishment　about　Ventnor；　caused　Bob　Pillin　to　stammer：

'Well；　I'm　d…d！〃　and　to　miss　the　look　which　Phyllis　gave　him　through　her　lashesa　look　saying：

〃Ah！　that's　better！〃

〃I　am　d…d！　　Look　here！　　D'you　mean　to　say　that　Ventnor　came　here　about　my　lending　money？　　I　never　said　a　word　to　him…〃

〃There　you　seeyou　are　lending！〃

He　clutched　his　hair。

〃We've　got　to　have　this　out；〃　he　added。

〃Not　by　the　roots！　　Oh！　you　do　look　funny。　　I've　never　seen　you　with　your　hair　untidy。　　Oh！　oh！〃

Bob　Pillin　rose　and　paced　the　room。　　In　the　midst　of　his　emotion　he　could　not　help　seeing　himself　sidelong　in　the　mirror；　and　on　pretext　of　holding　his　head　in　both　his　hands；　tried　earnestly　to　restore　his　hair。　　Then　coming　to　a　halt　he　said：

〃Suppose　I　am　lending　money　to　your　mother；　what　does　it　matter？　It's　only　till　quarter…day。　　Anybody　might　want　money。〃

Phyllis　did　not　raise　her　face。

〃Why　are　you　lending　it？〃

〃Becausebecausewhy　shouldn't　I？〃　　and　diving　suddenly；　he　seized　her　hands。

She　wrenched　them　free；　and　with　the　emotion　of　despair；　Bob　Pillin　took　out　the　envelope。

〃If　you　like；〃　he　said；　〃I'll　tear　this　up。　　I　don't　want　to　lend　it；　if　you　don't　want　me　to；　but　I　thoughtI　thought〃　　It　was　for　her　alone　he　had　been　going　to　lend　this　money！

Phyllis　murmured　through　her　hair：

〃Yes！　　You　thought　that　Ithat's　what's　so　hateful！〃

Apprehension　pierced　his　mind。

〃Oh！　　I　neverI　swear　I　never〃

〃Yes；　you　did；　you　thought　I　wanted　you　to　lend　it。〃

She　jumped　up；　and　brushed　past　him　into　the　window。

So　she　thought　she　was　being　used　as　a　decoy！　　That　was　awful　especially　since　it　was　true。　　He　knew　well　enough　that　Mrs。　Larne　was　working　his　admiration　for　her　daughter　for　all　that　it　was　worth。　　And　he　said　with　simple　fervour：

〃What　rot！〃　　It　produced　no　effect；　and　at　his　wits'　end；　he　almost　shouted：　〃Look；　Phyllis！　　If　you　don't　want　me　tohere　goes！〃　Phyllis　turned。　　Tearing　the　envelope　across　he　threw　the　bits　into　the　fire。　　〃There　it　is；〃　he　said。

Her　eyes　grew　round；　she　said　in　an　awed　voice：　〃Oh！〃

In　a　sort　of　agony　of　honesty　he　said：

〃It　was　only　a　cheque。　　Now　you've　got　your　way。〃

Staring　at　the　fire　she　answered　slowly：

〃I　expect　you'd　better　go　before　mother　comes。

Bob　Pillin's　mouth　fell　afar；　he　secretly　agreed；　but　the　idea　of　sacrificing　a　moment　alone　with　her　was　intolerable；　and　he　said　hardily：

〃No；　I　shall　stick　it！〃

Phyllis　sneezed。

〃My　hair　isn't　a　bit　dry；〃　and　she　sat　down　on　the　fender　with　her　back　to　the　fire。

A　certain　spirituality　had　come　into　Bob　Pillin's　face。　　If　only　he　could　get　that　wheeze　off：　〃Phyllis　is　my　only　joy！〃　or　even：　〃Phyllisdo　youwon't　youmayn't　I？〃　　But　nothing　camenothing。

And　suddenly　she　said：

〃Oh！　don't　breathe　so　loud；　it's　awful！〃

〃Breathe？　　I　wasn't！〃

〃You　were；　just　like　Carmen　when　she's　dreaming。〃

He　had　walked　three　steps　towards　the　door；　before　he　thought：　'What　does　it　matter？　　I　can　stand　anything　from　her；　and　walked　the　three　steps　back　again。

She　said　softly：

〃Poor　young　man！〃

He　answered　gloomily：

〃I　suppose　you　realise　that　this　may　be　the　last　time　you'll　see　me？〃

〃Why？　　I　thought　you　were　going　to　take　us　to　the　theatre。〃

〃I　don't　know　whether　your　mother　willafter…〃

Phyllis　gave　a　little　clear　laugh。

〃You　don't　know　mother。　　Nothing　makes　any　difference　to　her。〃

And　Bob　Pillin　muttered：

〃I　see。〃　　He　did　not；　but　it　was　of　no　consequence。　　Then　the　thought　of　Ventnor　again　ousted　all　others。　　What　on　earth…how　on　earth！　　He　searched　his　mind　for　what　he　could　possibly　have　said　the　other　night。　　Surely　he　had　not　asked　him　to　do　anything；　certainly　not　given　him　their　address。　　There　was　something　very　odd　about　it　that　had　jolly　well　got　to　be　cleared　up！　　And　he　said：

〃Are　you　sure　the　name　of　that　Johnny　who　came　here　yesterday　was　Ventnor？〃

Phyllis　nodded。

〃And　he　was　short；　and　had　whiskers？〃

〃Yes；　red；　and　red　eyes。〃

He　murmured　reluctantly：

〃It　must　be　him。　　Jolly　good　cheek；　I　simply　can't　understand。　　I　shall　go　and　see　him。　　How　on　earth　did　he　know　your　address？〃

〃I　expect　you　gave　it　him。〃

〃I　did　not。　　I　won't　have　you　thinking　me　a　squirt。〃

Phyllis　jumped　up。　　〃Oh！　　Lawks！　　Here's　mother！〃　　Mrs。　Larne　was　coming　up　the　garden。　　Bob　Pillin　made　for　the　door。　　〃Good…bye；〃　he　said；　〃I'm　going。〃　　But　Mrs。　Larne　was　already　in　the　hall。　Enveloping　him　in　fur　and　her　rich　personality；　she　drew　him　with　her　into　the　drawing…room；　where　the　back　window　was　open　and　Phyllis　gone。

〃I　hope；〃　she　said；　〃those　naughty　children　have　been　making　you　comfortable。　　That　nice　lawyer　of　yours　came　yesterday。　　He　seemed　quite　satisfied。〃

Very　red　above　his　collar；　Bob　Pillin　stammered：

〃I　never　told　him　to；　he　isn't　my　lawyer。　　I　don't　know　what　it　means。〃

Mrs。　Larne　smiled。　　〃My　dear　boy；　it's　all　right。　　You　needn't　be　so　squeamish。　　I　want　it　to　be　quite　on　a　business　footing。〃

Restraining　a　fearful　inclination　to　blurt　out：　〃It's　not　going　to　be　on　any　footing！〃　　Bob　Pillin　mumbled：　〃I　must　go；　I'm　late。〃

〃And　when　will　you　be　able…？〃

〃Oh！　　I'llI'll　se