the mirror of the sea-第30章

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〃Sir。〃







A　pause。







He　waited　for　a　moment　of　steadiness　before　negotiating　the　three



steps　of　the　inside　ladder　from　rail　to　deck；　and　the　watchman；



taught　by　experience；　would　forbear　offering　help　which　would　be



received　as　an　insult　at　that　particular　stage　of　the　mate's



return。　　But　many　times　I　trembled　for　his　neck。　　He　was　a　heavy



man。







Then　with　a　rush　and　a　thump　it　would　be　done。　　He　never　had　to



pick　himself　up；　but　it　took　him　a　minute　or　so　to　pull　himself



together　after　the　descent。







〃Watchman！〃







〃Sir。〃







〃Captain　aboard？〃







〃Yes；　sir。〃







Pause。







〃Dog　aboard？〃







〃Yes；　sir。〃







Pause。







Our　dog　was　a　gaunt　and　unpleasant　beast；　more　like　a　wolf　in　poor



health　than　a　dog；　and　I　never　noticed　Mr。　B…　at　any　other　time



show　the　slightest　interest　in　the　doings　of　the　animal。　　But　that



question　never　failed。







〃Let's　have　your　arm　to　steady　me　along。〃







I　was　always　prepared　for　that　request。　　He　leaned　on　me　heavily



till　near　enough　the　cabin…door　to　catch　hold　of　the　handle。　　Then



he　would　let　go　my　arm　at　once。







〃That'll　do。　　I　can　manage　now。〃







And　he　could　manage。　　He　could　manage　to　find　his　way　into　his



berth；　light　his　lamp；　get　into　his　bed　…　ay；　and　get　out　of　it



when　I　called　him　at　half…past　five；　the　first　man　on　deck；　lifting



the　cup　of　morning　coffee　to　his　lips　with　a　steady　hand；　ready　for



duty　as　though　he　had　virtuously　slept　ten　solid　hours　…　a　better



chief　officer　than　many　a　man　who　had　never　tasted　grog　in　his



life。　　He　could　manage　all　that；　but　could　never　manage　to　get　on



in　life。







Only　once　he　failed　to　seize　the　cabin…door　handle　at　the　first



grab。　　He　waited　a　little；　tried　again；　and　again　failed。　　His



weight　was　growing　heavier　on　my　arm。　　He　sighed　slowly。







〃D…n　that　handle！〃







Without　letting　go　his　hold　of　me　he　turned　about；　his　face　lit　up



bright　as　day　by　the　full　moon。







〃I　wish　she　were　out　at　sea；〃　he　growled　savagely。







〃Yes；　sir。〃







I　felt　the　need　to　say　something；　because　he　hung　on　to　me　as　if



lost；　breathing　heavily。







〃Ports　are　no　good　…　ships　rot；　men　go　to　the　devil！〃







I　kept　still；　and　after　a　while　he　repeated　with　a　sigh。







〃I　wish　she　were　at　sea　out　of　this。〃







〃So　do　I；　sir；〃　I　ventured。







Holding　my　shoulder；　he　turned　upon　me。







〃You！　　What's　that　to　you　where　she　is？　　You　don't　…　drink。〃







And　even　on　that　night　he　〃managed　it〃　at　last。　　He　got　hold　of　the



handle。　　But　he　did　not　manage　to　light　his　lamp　（I　don't　think　he



even　tried）；　though　in　the　morning　as　usual　he　was　the　first　on



deck；　bull…necked；　curly…headed；　watching　the　hands　turn…to　with



his　sardonic　expression　and　unflinching　gaze。







I　met　him　ten　years　afterwards；　casually；　unexpectedly；　in　the



street；　on　coming　out　of　my　consignee　office。　　I　was　not　likely　to



have　forgotten　him　with　his　〃I　can　manage　now。〃　　He　recognised　me



at　once；　remembered　my　name；　and　in　what　ship　I　had　served　under



his　orders。　　He　looked　me　over　from　head　to　foot。







〃What　are　you　doing　here？〃　he　asked。







〃I　am　commanding　a　little　barque；〃　I　said；　〃loading　here　for



Mauritius。〃　　Then；　thoughtlessly；　I　added：　　〃And　what　are　you



doing；　Mr。　B…？〃







〃I；〃　he　said；　looking　at　me　unflinchingly；　with　his　old　sardonic



grin　…　〃I　am　looking　for　something　to　do。〃







I　felt　I　would　rather　have　bitten　out　my　tongue。　　His　jet…black；



curly　hair　had　turned　iron…gray；　he　was　scrupulously　neat　as　ever；



but　frightfully　threadbare。　　His　shiny　boots　were　worn　down　at



heel。　　But　he　forgave　me；　and　we　drove　off　together　in　a　hansom　to



dine　on　board　my　ship。　　He　went　over　her　conscientiously；　praised



her　heartily；　congratulated　me　on　my　command　with　absolute



sincerity。　　At　dinner；　as　I　offered　him　wine　and　beer　he　shook　his



head；　and　as　I　sat　looking　at　him　interrogatively；　muttered　in　an



undertone：







〃I've　given　up　all　that。〃







After　dinner　we　came　again　on　deck。　　It　seemed　as　though　he　could



not　tear　himself　away　from　the　ship。　　We　were　fitting　some　new



lower　rigging；　and　he　hung　about；　approving；　suggesting；　giving　me



advice　in　his　old　manner。　　Twice　he　addressed　me　as　〃My　boy；〃　and



corrected　himself　quickly　to　〃Captain。〃　　My　mate　was　about　to　leave



me　（to　get　married）；　but　I　concealed　the　fact　from　Mr。　B…。　　I　was



afraid　he　would　ask　me　to　give　him　the　berth　in　some　ghastly



jocular　hint　that　I　could　not　refuse　to　take。　　I　was　afraid。　　It



would　have　been　impossible。　　I　could　not　have　given　orders　to　Mr。



B…；　and　I　am　sure　he　would　not　have　taken　them　from　me　very　long。



He　could　not　have　managed　that；　though　he　had　managed　to　break



himself　from　drink　…　too　late。







He　said　good…bye　at　last。　　As　I　watched　his　burly；　bull…necked



figure　walk　away　up　the　street；　I　wondered　with　a　sinking　heart



whether　he　had　much　more　than　the　price　of　a　night's　lodging　in　his



pocket。　　And　I　understood　that　if　that　very　minute　I　were　to　call



out　after　him；　he　would　not　even　turn　his　head。　　He；　too；　is　no



more　than　a　shadow；　but　I　seem　to　hear　his　words　spoken　on　the



moonlit　deck　of　the　old　Duke　…　：







〃Ports　are　no　good　…　ships　rot；　men　go　to　the　devil！〃















XXXV。















〃Ships！〃　exclaimed　an　elderly　seaman　in　clean　shore　togs。　　〃Ships〃



…　and　his　keen　glance；　turning　away　from　my　face；　ran　along　the



vista　of　magnificent　figure…heads　that　in　the　late　seventies　used



to　overhang　in　a　serried　rank　the　muddy　pavement　by　the　side　of　the



New　South　Dock　…　〃ships　are　all　right；　it's　the　men　in　'em。　。　。〃







Fifty　hulls；　at　least；　moulded　on　lines　of　beauty　and　speed　…　hulls



of　wood；　of　iron；　expressing　in　their　forms　the　highest　achievement



of　modern　ship…building　…　lay　moored　all　in　a　row；　stem　to　quay；　as



if　assembled　there　for　an　exhibition；　not　of　a　great　industry；　but



of　a　great　art。　　Their　colours　were　gray；　black；　dark　green；　with　a



narrow　strip　of　yellow　moulding　defining　their　sheer；　or　with　a　row



of　painted　ports　decking　in　warlike　decoration　their　robust　flanks



of　cargo…carriers　that　would　know　no　triumph　but　of　speed　in



carrying　a　burden；　no　glory　other　than　of　a　long　service；　no



victory　but　that　of　an　endless；　obscure　contest　with　the　sea。　　The



great　empty　hulls　with　swept　holds；　just　out　of　dry…dock；　with



their　paint　glistening　freshly；　sat　high…sided　with　ponderous



dignity　alongside　the　wooden　jetties；　looking　more　like　unmovable



buildings　than　things　meant　to　go　afloat；　others；　half　loaded；　far



on　the　way　to　recover　the　true　sea…physiognomy　of　a　ship　brought



down　to　her　load…line；　looked　more　accessible。　　Their　less　steeply



slanting　gangways　seemed　to　invite　the　strolling　sailors　in　search



of　a　berth　to　walk　on　board　and　try　〃for　a　chance〃　with　the　chief



mate；　the　guardian　of　a　ship's　efficiency。　　As　if　anxious　to　remain



unperceived　amongst　their　overtopping　sisters；　two　or　three



〃finished〃　ships　floated　low；　with　an　air　of　straining　at　the　leash



of　their　level　headfasts；　exposing　to　view　their　cleared　decks　and



covered　hatches；　prepared　to　drop　stern　first　out　of　the　labouring



ranks；　displaying　the　true　comeliness　of　form　which　only　her　proper



sea…trim　gives　to　a　ship。　　And　for　a　good　quarter　of　a　mile；　from



the　dockyard　gate　to　the　farthest　corner；　where　the　old　housed…in



hulk；　the　President　（drill…ship；　then；　of　the　Naval　Reserve）；　used



to　lie　with　her　frigate　side　rubbing　against　the　stone　of　the　quay；



above　all　these　hulls；　ready　and　unready；　a　hundred　and　fifty　lofty



masts；　more　or　less；　held　out　the　web　of　their　rigging　like　an



immense　net；　in　whose　close　mesh；　black　against　the　sky；　the　heavy



yards　seemed　to　be　entangle