the expedition of humphry clinker-第93章

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To　Miss　LAETITIA　WILLIS；　at　Gloucester。

MY　DEAR　LETTY；

This　method　of　writing　to　you　from　time　to　time；　without　any
hopes　of　an　answer；　affords　me；　I　own；　some　ease　and　satisfaction
in　the　'midst　of　my　disquiet；　as　it　in　some　degree　lightens　the
burthen　of　affliction：　but　it　is　at　best　a　very　imperfect
enjoyment　of　friendship；　because　it　admits　of　no　return　of
confidence　and　good　counsel　　I　would　give　the　whole　world　to　have
your　company　for　a　single　day　　I　am　heartily　tired　of　this
itinerant　way　of　life。　I　am　quite　dizzy　with　a　perpetual
succession　of　objects　　Besides　it　is　impossible　to　travel　such　a
length　of　way；　without　being　exposed　to　inconveniencies；　dangers；
and　disagreeable　accidents；　which　prove　very　grievous　to　a　poor
creature　of　weak　nerves　like　me；　and　make　me　pay　very　dear　for
the　gratification　of　my　curiosity。

Nature　never　intended　me　for　the　busy　world　　I　long　for　repose
and　solitude；　where　I　can　enjoy　that　disinterested　friendship
which　is　not　to　be　found　among　crouds；　and　indulge　those　pleasing
reveries　that　shun　the　hurry　and　tumult　of　fashionable　society　
Unexperienced　as　I　am　in　the　commerce　of　life；　I　have　seen　enough
to　give　me　a　disgust　to　the　generality　of　those　who　carry　it　on　
There　is　such　malice；　treachery；　and　dissimulation；　even　among
professed　friends　and　intimate　companions；　as　cannot　fail　to
strike　a　virtuous　mind　with　horror；　and　when　Vice　quits　the　stage
for　a　moment；　her　place　is　immediately　occupied　by　Folly；　which
is　often　too　serious　to　excite　any　thing　but　compassion。　Perhaps　I
ought　to　be　silent　on　the　foibles　of　my　poor　aunt；　but　with　you；
my　dear　Willis；　I　have　no　secrets；　and；　truly；　her　weaknesses　are
such　as　cannot　be　concealed。　Since　the　first　moment　we　arrived　at
Bath；　she　has　been　employed　constantly　in　spreading　nets　for　the
other　sex；　and；　at　length；　she　has　caught　a　superannuated
lieutenant；　who　is　in　a　fair　way　to　make　her　change　her　name　　My
uncle　and　my　brother　seem　to　have　no　objection　to　this
extraordinary　match；　which；　I　make　no　doubt；　will　afford
abundance　of　matter　for　conversation　and　mirth；　for　my　part；　I　am
too　sensible　of　my　own　weaknesses；　to　be　diverted　with　those　of
other　people　　At　present；　I　have　something　at　heart　that　employs
my　whole　attention；　and　keeps　my　mind　in　the　utmost　terror　and
suspence。

Yesterday　in　the　forenoon；　as　I　stood　with　my　brother　at　the
parlour　window　of　an　inn；　where　we　had　lodged；　a　person　passed　a
horseback；　whom　（gracious　Heaven！）　I　instantly　discovered　to　be
Wilson！　He　wore　a　white　riding…coat；　with　the　cape　buttoned　up　to
his　chin；　looking　remarkably　pale；　and　passed　at　a　round　trot；
without　seeming　to　observe　us　　Indeed；　he　could　not　see　us；　for
there　was　a　blind　that　concealed　us　from　the　view。　You　may　guess
how　I　was　affected　at　this　apparition。　The　light　forsook　my　eyes；
and　I　was　seized　with　such　a　palpitation　and　trembling；　that　I
could　not　stand。　I　sat　down　upon　a　couch；　and　strove　to　compose
myself；　that　my　brother　might　not　perceive　my　agitation；　but　it
was　impossible　to　escape　his　prying　eyes　　He　had　observed　the
object　that　alarmed　me；　and；　doubtless；　knew　him　at　the　first
glance　　He　now　looked　at　me　with　a　stern　countenance；　then　he　ran
out　into　the　street；　to　see　what　road　the　unfortunate　horseman
had　taken　　He　afterwards　dispatched　his　man　for　further
intelligence；　and　seemed　to　meditate　some　violent　design。　My
uncle；　being　out　of　order；　we　remained　another　night　at　the　inn；
and　all　day　long　Jery　acted　the　part　of　an　indefatigable　spy　upon
my　conduct　　He　watched　my　very　looks　with　such　eagerness　of
attention；　as　if　he　would　have　penetrated　into　the　utmost
recesses　of　my　heart　　This　may　be　owing　to　his　regard　for　my
honour；　if　it　is　not　the　effect　of　his　own　pride；　but　he　is　so
hot；　and　violent；　and　unrelenting；　that　the　sight　of　him　alone
throws　me　into　a　flutter；　and　really　it　will　not　be　in　my　power
to　afford　him　any　share　of　my　affection；　if　he　persists　in
persecuting　me　at　this　rate。　I　am　afraid　he　has　formed　some
scheme　of　vengeance；　which　will　make　me　completely　wretched！　I　am
afraid　he　suspects　some　collusion　from　this　appearance　of
Wilson。　　Good　God！　did　he　really　appear？
or　was　it　only　a　phantom；　a　pale　spectre　to　apprise　me　of　his
death。

O　Letty；　what　shall　I　do？　　where　shall　I　turn　for　advice　and
consolation？　shall　I　implore　the　protection　of　my　uncle；　who　has
been　always　kind　and　compassionate。　　This　must　be　my　last
resource。　　I　dread　the　thoughts　of　making　him　uneasy；　and　would
rather　suffer　a　thousand　deaths　than　live　the　cause　of　dissension
in　the　family。　　I　cannot　conceive　the　meaning　of　Wilson's　coming
hither：　　perhaps；　it　was　in　quest　of　us；　in　order　to　disclose　his
real　name　and　situation：　　but　wherefore　pass　without　staying　to
make　the　least　enquiry？　　My　dear　Willis；　I　am　lost　in　conjecture。
I　have　not　closed　an　eye　since　I　saw　him。　　All　night　long　have　I
been　tossed　about　from　one　imagination　to　another。　The　reflection
finds　no　resting　place。　　I　have　prayed；　and　sighed；　and　wept
plentifully。　　If　this　terrible　suspence　continues　much　longer；　I
shall　have　another　fit　of　illness；　and　then　the　whole　family　will
be　in　confusion　　If　it　was　consistent　with　the　wise　purposes　of
Providence；　would　I　were　in　my　grave　　But　it　is　my　duty　to　be
resigned。　　My　dearest　Letty；　excuse　my　weakness　　excuse　these
blots　　my　tears　fall　so　fast　that　I　cannot　keep　the　paper　dry　
yet　I　ought　to　consider　that　I　have　as　yet　no　cause　to　despair
but　I　am　such　a　faint…hearted　timorous　creature！

Thank　God；　my　uncle　is　much　better　than　he　was　yesterday。　He　is
resolved　to　pursue　our　journey　strait　to　Wales。　　I　hope　we　shall
take　Gloucester　in　our　way　　that　hope　chears　my　poor　heart　I
shall　once　more　embrace　my　best　beloved　Willis；　and　pour　all　my
griefs　into　her　friendly　bosom。　　0　heaven！　is　it　possible　that
such　happiness　is　reserved　for

The　dejected　and　forlorn
LYDIA　MELFORD
Oct。　4。



To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS；　Bart。　of　Jesus　college；　Oxon。

DEAR　WATKIN；

I　yesterday　met　with　an　incident　which　I　believe　you　will　own　to
be　very　surprising　　As　I　stood　with　Liddy　at　the　window　of　the
inn　where　we　had　lodged；　who　should　pass　by　but　Wilson　a…horse
back！　　I　could　not　be　mistaken　in　the　person；　for　I　had　a　full
view　of　him　as　he　advanced；　I　plainly　perceived　by　my　sister's
confusion　that　she　recognized　him　at　the　same　time。　I　was　equally
astonished　and　incensed　at　his　appearance；　which　I　could　not　but
interpret　into　an　insult；　or　something　worse。　I　ran　out　at　the
gate；　and；　seeing　him　turn　the　corner　of　the　street；　I　dispatched
my　servant　to　observe　his　motions；　but　the　fellow　was　too　late　to
bring　me　that　satisfaction。　He　told　me；　however；　that　there　was
an　inn；　called　the　Red　Lion；　at　that　end　of　the　town；　where　he
supposed　the　horseman　had　alighted；　but　that　he　would　not　enquire
without　further　orders。　I　sent　him　back　immediately　to　know　what
strangers　were　in　the　house；　and　he　returned　with　a　report　that
there　was　one　Mr　Wilson　lately　arrived。　In　consequence　of　this
information　I　charged　him　with　a　note　directed　to　that　gentleman；
desiring　him　to　meet　me　in　half　an　hour　in　a　certain　field　at　the
town's　end；　with　a　case　of　pistols；　in　order　to　decide　the
difference　which　could　not　be　determined　at　our　last　rencounter：
but　I　did　not　think　proper　to　subscribe　the　billet。　My　man
assured　me　he　had　delivered　it　into　his　own　hand；　and；　that
having　read　it；　he　declared　he　would　wait　upon　the　gentleman　at
the　place　and　time　appointed。

M'Alpine　being　an　old　soldier；　and　luckily　sober　at　the　time；　I
entrusted　him　with　my　secret。　I　ordered　him　to　be　within　call；
and；　having　given　him　a　letter　to　be　delivered　to　my　uncle　in
case　of　accident；　I　repaired　to　the　rendezvous；　which　was　an
inclosed　field　at　a　little　distance　from　the　highway。　I　found　my
antagonist　had　already　taken　his　ground；　wrapped　in　a　dark
horseman's　coat；　with　a　laced　hat　flapped　over　his　eyes；　but　what
was　my　astonishment；　when；　throwing　off　this　wrapper；　he　appeared
to　be　a　person　whom　I　had　never　seen　before！　He　had　one　pistol
stuck　in　a　leather　belt；　and　another　in　his　hand　ready　for
action；　and；　advancing　a　few　steps；