the expedition of humphry clinker-第88章

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kept　company　　He　was　obliged　to　hire　a　great　number　of　servants；
to　take　off　a　great　variety　of　rich　cloaths；　and　to　keep　a
sumptuous　table　for　the　fashionable　scorocconi　of　the　country；
who；　without　a　consideration　of　this　kind；　would　not　have　payed
any　attention　to　an　untitled　foreigner；　let　his　family　or　fortune
be　ever　so　respectable　　Besides；　Mrs　Baynard　was　continually
surrounded　by　a　train　of　expensive　loungers；　under　the
denominations　of　language…masters；　musicians；　painters；　and
ciceroni；　and　had　actually　fallen　into　the　disease　of　buying
pictures　and　antiques　upon　her　own　judgment；　which　was　far　from
being　infallible　　At　length　she　met　with　an　affront；　which　gave
her　disgust　to　Italy；　and　drove　her　back　to　England　with　some
precipitation。　By　means　of　frequenting　the　dutchess　of
B＇edford＇'s　conversazione；　while　her　grace　was　at　Rome；　Mrs
Baynard　became　acquainted　with　all　the　fashionable　people　of　that
city；　and　was　admitted　to　their　assemblies　without　scruple　　Thus
favoured；　she　conceived　too　great　an　idea　of　her　own　importance；
and　when　the　dutchess　left　Rome；　resolved　to　have　a　conversazione
that　should　leave　the　Romans　no　room　to　regret　her　grace's
departure。　She　provided　hands　for　a　musical　entertainment；　and
sent　biglietti　of　invitation　to　every　person　of　distinction；　but
not　one　Roman　of　the　female　sex　appeared　at　her　assembly　　She　was
that　night　seized　with　a　violent　fit；　and　kept　her　bed　three
days；　at　the　expiration　of　which　she　declared　that　the　air　of
Italy　would　be　the　ruin　of　her　constitution。　In　order　to　prevent
this　catastrophe；　she　was　speedily　removed　to　Geneva；　from　whence
they　returned　to　England　by　the　way　of　Lyons　and　Paris。　By　the
time　they　arrived　at　Calais；　she　had　purchased　such　a　quantity　of
silks；　stuffs；　and　laces；　that　it　was　necessary　to　hire　a　vessel
to　smuggle　them　over；　and　this　vessel　was　taken　by　a　custom…house
cutter；　so　that　they　lost　the　whole　cargo；　which　had　cost　them
above　eight　hundred　pounds。

It　now　appears；　that　her　travels　had　produced　no　effect　upon　her；
but　that　of　making　her　more　expensive　and　fantastic　than　ever：
She　affected　to　lead　the　fashion；　not　only　in　point　of　female
dress；　but　in　every　article　of　taste　and　connoisseurship。　She
made　a　drawing　of　the　new　facade　to　the　house　in　the　country；　she
pulled　up　the　trees；　and　pulled　down　the　walls　of　the　garden；　so
as　to　let　in　the　easterly　wind；　which　Mr　Baynard's　ancestors　had
been　at　great　pains　to　exclude。　To　shew　her　taste　in　laying　out
ground；　she　seized　into　her　own　hand　a　farm　of　two　hundred　acres；
about　a　mile　from　the　house；　which　she　parcelled　out　into　walks
and　shrubberies；　having　a　great　bason　in　the　middle；　into　which
she　poured　a　whole　stream　that　turned　two　mills；　and　afforded　the
best　trout　in　the　country。　The　bottom　of　the　bason；　however；　was
so　ill　secured；　that　it　would　not　hold　the　water　which　strained
through　the　earth；　and　made　a　bog　of　the　whole　plantation：　in　a
word；　the　ground　which　formerly　payed　him　one　hundred　and　fifty
pounds　a　year；　now　cost　him　two　hundred　pounds　a　year　to　keep　it
in　tolerable　order；　over　and　above　the　first　expence　of　trees；
shrubs；　flowers；　turf；　and　gravel。　There　was　not　an　inch　of
garden　ground　left　about　the　house；　nor　a　tree　that　produced
fruit　of　any　kind；　nor　did　he　raise　a　truss　of　hay；　or　a　bushel
of　oats　for　his　horses；　nor　had　he　a　single　cow　to　afford　milk
for　his　tea；　far　less　did　he　ever　dream　of　feeding　his　own
mutton；　pigs；　and　poultry：　every　article　of　housekeeping；　even
the　most　inconsiderable；　was　brought　from　the　next　market　town；
at　the　distance　of　five　miles；　and　thither　they　sent　a　courier
every　morning　to　fetch　hot　rolls　for　breakfast。　In　short；　Baynard
fairly　owned　that　he　spent　double　his　income；　and　that　in　a　few
years　he　should　be　obliged　to　sell　his　estate　for　the　payment　of
his　creditors。　He　said　that　his　wife　had　such　delicate　nerves；
and　such　imbecility　of　spirit；　that　she　could　neither　bear
remonstrance；　be　it　ever　so　gentle；　nor　practise　any　scheme　of
retrenchment；　even　if　she　perceived　the　necessity　of　such　a
measure。　He　had　therefore　ceased　struggling　against　the　stream；
and　endeavoured　to　reconcile　himself　to　ruin；　by　reflecting　that
his　child　at　least　would　inherit　his　mother's　fortune；　which　was
secured　to　him　by　the　contract　of　marriage。

The　detail　which　he　gave　me　of　his　affairs；　filled　me　at　once
with　grief　and　indignation。　I　inveighed　bitterly　against　the
indiscretion　of　his　wife；　and　reproached　him　with　his　unmanly
acquiescence　under　the　absurd　tyranny　which　she　exerted。　I
exhorted　him　to　recollect　his　resolution；　and　make　one　effectual
effort　to　disengage　himself　from　a　thraldom；　equally　shameful　and
pernicious。　I　offered　him　all　the　assistance　in　my　power。　I
undertook　to　regulate　his　affairs；　and　even　to　bring　about　a
reformation　in　his　family；　if　he　would　only　authorise　me　to
execute　the　plan　I　should　form　for　his　advantage。　I　was　so
affected　by　the　subject；　that　I　could　not　help　mingling　tears
with　my　remonstrances；　and　Baynard　was　so　penetrated　with　these
marks　of　my　affection；　that　he　lost　all　power　of　utterance。　He
pressed　me　to　his　breast　with　great　emotion；　and　wept　in　silence。
At　length　he　exclaimed；　'Friendship　is　undoubtedly　the　most
precious　balm　of　life！　Your　words；　dear　Bramble；　have　in　a　great
measure　recalled　me　from　an　abyss　of　despondence；　in　which　I　have
been　long　overwhelmed。　I　will；　upon　honour；　make　you　acquainted
with　a　distinct　state　of　my　affairs；　and；　as　far　as　I　am　able　to
go；　will　follow　the　course　you　prescribe。　But　there　are　certain
lengths　which　my　nature　　The　truth　is；　there　are　tender
connexions；　of　which　a　batchelor　has　no　idea　　Shall　I　own　my
weakness？　I　cannot　bear　the　thoughts　of　making　that　woman
uneasy'　　'And　yet　（cried　I）；　she　has　seen　you　unhappy　for　a
series　of　years　　unhappy　from　her　misconduct；　without　ever
shewing　the　least　inclination　to　alleviate　your　distress'　
'Nevertheless　（said　he）　I　am　persuaded　she　loves　me　with　the　most
warm　affection；　but　these　are　incongruities　in　the　composition　of
the　human　mind　which　I　hold　to　be　inexplicable。'

I　was　shocked　at　his　infatuation；　and　changed　the　subject；　after
we　had　agreed　to　maintain　a　close　correspondence　for　the　future。
He　then　gave　me　to　understand；　that　he　had　two　neighbours；　who；
like　himself；　were　driven　by　their　wives　at　full　speed；　in　the
high　road　to　bankruptcy　and　ruin。　All　the　three　husbands　were　of
dispositions　very　different　from　each　other；　and；　according　to
this　variation；　their　consorts　were　admirably　suited　to　the
purpose　of　keeping　them　all　three　in　subjection。　The　views　of　the
ladies　were　exactly　the　same。　They　vied　in　grandeur；　that　is；　in
ostentation；　with　the　wife　of　Sir　Charles　Chickwell；　who　had　four
times　their　fortune；　and　she　again　piqued　herself　upon　making　an
equal　figure　with　a　neighbouring　peeress；　whose　revenue　trebled
her　own。　Here　then　was　the　fable　of　the　frog　and　the　ox；　realized
in　four　different　instances　within　the　same　county：　one　large
fortune；　and　three　moderate　estates；　in　a　fair　way　of　being　burst
by　the　inflation　of　female　vanity；　and　in　three　of　these
instances；　three　different　forms　of　female　tyranny　were
exercised。　Mr　Baynard　was　subjugated　by　practising　upon　the
tenderness　of　his　nature。　Mr　Milksan；　being　of　a　timorous
disposition；　truckled　to　the　insolence　of　a　termagant。　Mr
Sowerby；　who　was　of　a　temper　neither　to　be　moved　by　fits；　nor
driven　by　menaces；　had　the　fortune　to　be　fitted　with　a　helpmate；
who　assailed　him　with　the　weapons　of　irony　and　satire；　sometimes
sneering　in　the　way　of　compliment；　sometimes　throwing　out
sarcastic　comparisons；　implying　reproaches　upon　his　want　of
taste；　spirit；　and　generosity：　by　which　means　she　stimulated　his
passions　from　one　act　of　extravagance　to　another；　just　as　the
circumstances　of　her　vanity　required。

All　these　three　ladies　have　at　this　time　the　same　number　of
horses；　carriages；　and　servants　in　and　out　of　livery；　the　same
variety　of　dress；　the　same　quantity　of　plate　and　china；　the　like
ornaments　in　furniture：　and　in　their　entertainments　they
endeavour　to　exceed　one　another　in　the　variety；　delicacy；　and
expence　of　their