the expedition of humphry clinker-第86章

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'Sir　（cried　Lismahago）；　I　must　insist　upon　taking　personal
vengeance　for　the　personal　injuries　I　have　sustained。'

After　some　debate；　the　affair　was　adjusted　in　this　manner。　　His
lordship；　meeting　us　at　our　friend's　house；　declared　he　was　sorry
for　what　had　happened；　and　that　he　had　no　intention　to　give
umbrage。　　The　valet　de　chambre　asked　pardon　of　the　lieutenant
upon　his　knees；　when　Lismahago；　to　the　astonishment　of　all
present；　gave　him　a　violent　kick　on　the　face；　which　laid　him　on
his　back；　exclaiming　in　a　furious　tone；　'Oui　je　te　pardonne；　gens
foutre。'

Such　was　the　fortunate　issue　of　this　perilous　adventure；　which
threatened　abundance　of　vexation　to　our　family；　for　the　'squire
is　one　of　those　who　will　sacrifice　both　life　and　fortune；　rather
than　leave　what　they　conceive　to　be　the　least　speck　or　blemish
upon　their　honour　and　reputation。　His　lordship　had　no　sooner
pronounced　his　apology；　with　a　very　bad　grace；　than　he　went　away
in　some　disorder；　and；　I　dare　say；　he　will　never　invite　another
Welchman　to　his　table。

We　forthwith　quitted　the　field　of　this　atchievement；　in　order　to
prosecute　our　journey；　but　we　follow　no　determinate　course。　We
make　small　deviations；　to　see　the　remarkable　towns；　villas；　and
curiosities　on　each　side　of　our　route；　so　that　we　advance　by　slow
steps　towards　the　borders　of　Monmouthshire：　but　in　the　midst　of
these　irregular　motions；　there　is　no　abberration　nor　eccentricity
in　that　affection　with　which　I　am；　dear　Wat；


Yours　always；
J。　MELFORD
Sept。　28。



To　Dr　LEWIS。

DEAR　DICK；

At　what　time　of　life　may　a　man　think　himself　exempted　from　the
necessity　of　sacrificing　his　repose　to　the　punctilios　of　a
contemptible　world？　I　have　been　engaged　in　a　ridiculous
adventure；　which　I　shall　recount　at　meeting；　and　this；　I　hope；
will　not　be　much　longer　delayed；　as　we　have　now　performed　almost
all　our　visits；　and　seen　every　thing　that　I　think　has　any　right
to　retard　us　in　our　journey　homewards　　A　few　days　ago；
understanding　by　accident；　that　my　old　friend　Baynard　was　in　the
country；　I　would　not　pass　so　near　his　habitation　without　paying
him　a　visit；　though　our　correspondence　had　been　interrupted　for　a
long　course　of　years。

I　felt　my　self　very　sensibly　affected　by　the　idea　of　our　past
intimacy；　as　we　approached　the　place　where　we　had　spent　so　many
happy　days　together；　but　when　we　arrived　at　the　house；　I　could
not　recognize　any　one　of　those　objects；　which　had　been　so　deeply
impressed　upon　my　remembrance　　The　tall　oaks　that　shaded　the
avenue；　had　been　cut　down；　and　the　iron　gates　at　the　end　of　it
removed；　together　with　the　high　wall　that　surrounded　the　court
yard。　The　house　itself；　which　was　formerly　a　convent　of
Cistercian　monks；　had　a　venerable　appearance：　and　along　the　front
that　looked　into　the　garden；　was　a　stone　gallery；　which　afforded
me　many　an　agreeable　walk；　when　I　was　disposed　to　be
contemplative。　Now　the　old　front　is　covered　with　a　screen　of
modern　architecture；　so　that　all　without　is　Grecian；　and　all
within　Gothic。　As　for　the　garden；　which　was　well　stocked　with　the
best　fruit　which　England　could　produce；　there　is　not　now　the
least　vestage　remaining　of　trees；　walls；　or　hedges　　Nothing
appears　but　a　naked　circus　of　loose　sand；　with　a　dry　bason　and　a
leaden　triton　in　the　middle。

You　must　know；　that　Baynard；　at　his　father's　death；　had　a　clear
estate　of　fifteen　hundred　pounds　a…year；　and　was　in　other
respects　extremely　well　qualified　to　make　a　respectable　figure　in
the　commonwealth；　but；　what　with　some　excesses　of　youth；　and　the
expence　of　a　contested　election；　he　in　a　few　years　found　himself
encumbered　with　a　debt　of　ten　thousand　pounds；　which　he　resolved
to　discharge　by　means　of　a　prudent　marriage。　He　accordingly
married　a　miss　Thomson；　whose　fortune　amounted　to　double　the　sum
that　he　owed　　She　was　the　daughter　of　a　citizen；　who　had　failed
in　trade；　but　her　fortune　came　by　an　uncle；　who　died　in　the　East…Indies
　Her　own　parents　being　dead；　she　lived　with　a　maiden　aunt；
who　had　superintended　her　education；　and；　in　all　appearance；　was
well　enough　qualified　for　the　usual　purposes　of　the　married
state　　Her　virtues；　however；　stood　rather　upon　a　negative；　than　a
positive　foundation　　She　was　neither　proud；　insolent；　nor
capricious；　nor　given　to　scandal；　nor　addicted　to　gaming；　nor
inclined　to　gallantry。　She　could　read；　and　write；　and　dance；　and
sing；　and　play　upon　the　harpsichord；　and　smatter　French；　and　take
a　hand　at　whist　and　ombre；　but　even　these　accomplishments　she
possessed　by　halves　　She　excelled　in　nothing。　Her　conversation
was　flat；　her　stile　mean；　and　her　expression　embarrassed　　In　a
word；　her　character　was　totally　insipid。　Her　person　was　not
disagreeable；　but　there　was　nothing　graceful　in　her　address；　nor
engaging　in　her　manners；　and　she　was　so　ill　qualified　to　do　the
honours　of　the　house；　that　when　she　sat　at　the　head　of　the　table；
one　was　always　looking　for　the　mistress　of　the　family　in　some
other　place。

Baynard　had　flattered　himself；　that　it　would　be　no　difficult
matter　to　mould　such　a　subject　after　his　own　fashion；　and　that
she　would　chearfully　enter　into　his　views；　which　were　wholly
turned　to　domestic　happiness。　He　proposed　to　reside　always　in　the
country；　of　which　he　was　fond　to　a　degree　of　enthusiasm；　to
cultivate　his　estate；　which　was　very　improvable；　to　enjoy　the
exercise　of　rural　diversions；　to　maintain　an　intimacy　of
correspondence　with　some　friends　that　were　settled　in　his
neighbourhood；　to　keep　a　comfortable　house；　without　suffering　his
expence　to　exceed　the　limits　of　his　income；　and　to　find　pleasure
and　employ　merit　for　his　wife　in　the　management　and　avocations
of　her　own　family　　This；　however；　was　a　visionary　scheme；　which
he　never　was　able　to　realize。　His　wife　was　as　ignorant　as　a　new…born
babe　of　everything　that　related　to　the　conduct　of　a　family；
and　she　had　no　idea　of　a　country…life。　Her　understanding　did　not
reach　so　far　as　to　comprehend　the　first　principles　of　discretion；
and；　indeed；　if　her　capacity　had　been　better　than　it　was；　her
natural　indolence　would　not　have　permitted　her　to　abandon　a
certain　routine；　to　which　she　had　been　habituated。　She　had　not
taste　enough　to　relish　any　rational　enjoyment；　but　her　ruling
passion　was　vanity；　not　that　species　which　arises　from　self…conceit
of　superior　accomplishments；　but　that　which　is　of　a
bastard　and　idiot　nature；　excited　by　shew　and　ostentation；　which
implies　not　even　the　least　consciousness　of　any　personal　merit。

The　nuptial　peal　of　noise　and　nonsense　being　rung　out　in　all　the
usual　changes；　Mr　Baynard　thought　it　high　time　to　make　her
acquainted　with　the　particulars　of　the　plan　which　he　had
projected　　He　told　her　that　his　fortune；　though　sufficient　to
afford　all　the　comforts　of　life；　was　not　ample　enough　to　command
all　the　superfluities　of　pomp　and　pageantry；　which；　indeed；　were
equally　absurd　and　intolerable　　He　therefore　hoped　she　would　have
no　objection　to　their　leaving　London　in　the　spring；　when　he　would
take　the　opportunity　to　dismiss　some　unnecessary　domestics；　whom
he　had　hired　for　the　occasion　of　their　marriage　　She　heard　him　in
silence；　and　after　some　pause；　'So　（said　she）　I　am　to　be　buried
in　the　country！'　He　was　so　confounded　at　this　reply；　that　he
could　not　speak　for　some　minutes：　at　length　he　told　her；　he　was
much　mortified　to　find　he　had　proposed　anything　that　was
disagreeable　to　her　ideas　　'I　am　sure　（added　he）　I　meant　nothing
more　than　to　lay　down　a　comfortable　plan　of　living　within　the
bounds　of　our　fortune；　which　is　but　moderate。'　'Sir　（said　she）；
you　are　the　best　judge　of　your　own　affairs　　My　fortune；　I　know；
does　not　exceed　twenty　thousand　pounds　　Yet；　even　with　that
pittance；　I　might　have　had　a　husband　who　would　not　have　begrudged
me　a　house　in　London'　　'Good　God！　my　dear　（cried　poor　Baynard；　in
the　utmost　agitation）；　you　don't　think　me　so　sordid　　I　only
hinted　what　I　thought　　But；　I　don't　pretend　to　impose　'　'Yes；
sir　（resumed　the　lady）；　it　is　your　prerogative　to　command；　and　my
duty　to　obey'　　So　saying；　she　burst　into　tears　and　retired　to　her
chamber；　where　she　was　joined　by　her　aunt　　He　endeavoured　to
recollect　himself；　and　act　with　vigour　of　mind　on　this　occasion；
but