the expedition of humphry clinker-第85章

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to　that　occasion。　　I　am　sure　it　will　be　productive　of　some
diversion；　and；　truly；　it　would　be　worth　your　while　to　come
across　the　country　on　purpose　to　see　two　such　original　figures　in
bed　together；　with　their　laced　night　caps；　he；　the　emblem　of　good
cheer；　and　she；　the　picture　of　good　nature。　All　this　agreeable
prospect　was　clouded；　and　had　well　nigh　vanished　entirely；　in
consequence　of　a　late　misunderstanding　between　the　future
brothers…in…law；　which；　however；　is　now　happily　removed。

A　few　days　ago；　my　uncle　and　I；　going　to　visit　a　relation；　met
with　lord　Oxmington　at　his　house；　who　asked　us　to　dine　with　him；
next　day；　and　we　accepted　the　invitation。　　Accordingly；　leaving
our　women　under　the　care　of　captain　Lismahago；　at　the　inn　where
we　had　lodged　the　preceding　night；　in　a　little　town；　about　a　mile
from　his　lordship's　dwelling；　we　went　at　the　hour　appointed；　and
had　a　fashionable　meal　served　up　with　much　ostentation　to　a
company　of　about　a　dozen　persons；　none　of　whom　he　had　ever　seen
before。　　His　lordship　is　much　more　remarkable　for　his　pride　and
caprice；　than　for　his　hospitality　and　understanding；　and；　indeed；
it　appeared；　that　he　considered　his　guests　merely　as　objects　to
shine　upon；　so　as　to　reflect　the　lustre　of　his　own　magnificence　
There　was　much　state；　but　no　courtesy；　and　a　great　deal　of
compliment　without　any　conversation。　　Before　the　desert　was
removed；　our　noble　entertainer　proposed　three　general　toasts；
then　calling　for　a　glass　of　wine；　and　bowing　all　round；　wished　us
a　good　afternoon。　This　was　the　signal　for　the　company　to　break
up；　and　they　obeyed　it　immediately；　all　except　our　'squire　who
was　greatly　shocked　at　the　manner　of　this　dismission　　He　changed
countenance；　bit　his　lip　in　silence；　but　still　kept　his　seat；　so
that　his　lordship　found　himself　obliged　to　give　us　another　hint；
by　saying；　he　should　be　glad　to　see　us　another　time。　'There　is　no
time　like　the　present　（cried　Mr　Bramble）；　your　lordship　has　not
yet　drank　a　bumper　to　the　best　in　Christendom。'　'I'll　drink　no
more　bumpers　to…day　（answered　our　landlord）；　and　I　am　sorry　to
see　you　have　drank　too　many。　　Order　the　gentleman's　carriage　to
the　gate。'　　So　saying；　he　rose　and　retired　abruptly；　our　'squire
starting　up　at　the　same　time；　laying　his　hand　upon　his　sword；　and
eyeing　him　with　a　most　ferocious　aspect。　The　master　having
vanished　in　this　manner；　our　uncle　bad　one　of　the　servants　to　see
what　was　to　pay；　and　the　fellow　answering；　'This　is　no　inn；'　'I
cry　you　mercy　（cried　the　other）；　I　perceive　it　is　not；　if　it
were；　the　landlord　would　be　more　civil。　There's　a　guinea；
however；　take　it；　and　tell　your　lord；　that　I　shall　riot　leave　the
country　till　I　have　had　the　opportunity　to　thank　him　in　person
for　his　politeness　and　hospitality。'

We　then　walked　down　stairs　through　a　double　range　of　lacqueys；
and　getting　into　the　chaise；　proceeded　homewards。　Perceiving　the
'squire　much　ruffled；　I　ventured　to　disapprove　of　his　resentment；
observing；　that　as　lord　Oxmington　was　well　known　to　have　his
brain　very　ill　timbered；　a　sensible　man　should　rather　laugh；　than
be　angry　at　his　ridiculous　want　of　breeding。　　Mr　Bramble　took
umbrage　at　my　presuming　to　be　wiser　than　he　upon　this　occasion；
and　told　me；　that　as　he　had　always　thought　for　himself　in　every
occurrence　in　life；　he　would　still　use　the　same　privilege；　with
my　good　leave。

When　we　returned　to　our　inn；　he　closeted　Lismahago；　and　having
explained　his　grievance；　desired　that　gentleman　to　go　and　demand
satisfaction　of　lord　Oxmington　in　his　name。　　The　lieutenant
charged　himself　with　this　commission；　and　immediately　set　out　a
horseback　for　his　lordship's　house；　attended；　at　his　own　request；
by　my　man　Archy　Macalpine；　who　had　been　used　to　military　service；
and　truly；　if　Macalpine　had　been　mounted　upon　an　ass；　this　couple
might　have　passed　for　the　knight　of　La　Mancha　and　his　'squire
Panza。　It　was　not　till　after　some　demur　that　Lismahago　obtained　a
private　audience；　at　which　he　formally　defied　his　lordship　to
single　combat；　in　the　name　of　Mr　Bramble；　and　desired　him　to
appoint　the　time　and　place。　Lord　Oxmington　was　so　confounded　at
this　unexpected　message；　that　he　could　not；　for　some　time；　make
any　articulate　reply；　but　stood　staring　at　the　lieutenant　with
manifest　marks　of　perturbation。　At　length；　ringing　a　bell　with
great　vehemence；　he　exclaimed；　'What！　a　commoner　send　a　challenge
to　a　peer　of　the　realm！　　Privilege！　privilege！　　Here's　a　person
brings　me　a　challenge　from　the　Welshman　that　dined　at　my　table　
An　impudent　fellow。　　My　wine　is　not　yet　out　of　his　head。'

The　whole　house　was　immediately　in　commotion。　　Macalpine　made　a
soldierly　retreat　with　two　horses；　but　the　captain　was　suddenly
surrounded　and　disarmed　by　the　footmen；　whom　a　French　valet　de
chambre　headed　in　this　exploit；　his　sword　was　passed　through　a
close…stool；　and　his　person　through　the　horse…pond。　In　this
plight　he　returned　to　the　inn；　half　mad　with　his　disgrace。　So
violent　was　the　rage　of　his　indignation；　that　he　mistook　its
object。　　He　wanted　to　quarrel　with　Mr　Bramble；　he　said；　he　had
been　dishonoured　on　his　account；　and　he　looked　for　reparation　at
his　hands。　　My　uncle's　back　was　up　in　a　moment；　and　he　desired
him　to　explain　his　pretensions。　　'Either　compel　lord　Oxmington　to
give　me　satisfaction　（cried　he）；　or　give　it　me　in　your　own
person。'　'The　latter　part　of　the　alternative　is　the　most　easy　and
expeditious　（replied　the　'squire；　starting　up）：　if　you　are
disposed　for　a　walk；　I'll　attend　you　this　moment。'

Here　they　were　interrupted　by　Mrs　Tabby；　who　had　overheard　all
that　passed。　　She　now　burst　into　the　room；　and　running　betwixt
them；　in　great　agitation；　'Is　this　your　regard　for　me　（said　she
to　the　lieutenant）；　to　seek　the　life　of　my　brother？'　Lismahago；
who　seemed　to　grow　cool　as　my　uncle　grew　hot；　assured　her　he　had
a　very　great　respect　for　Mr　Bramble；　but　he　had　still　more　for
his　own　honour；　which　had　suffered　pollution；　but　if　that　could
be　once　purified；　he　should　have　no　further　cause　of
dissatisfaction。　The　'squire　said；　he　should　have　thought　it
incumbent　upon　him　to　vindicate　the　lieutenant's　honour；　but；　as
he　had　now　carved　for　himself；　he　might　swallow　and　digest　it　as
well　as　he　could　　In　a　word；　what　betwixt　the　mediation　of　Mrs
Tabitha；　the　recollection　of　the　captain；　who　perceived　he　had
gone　too　far；　and　the　remonstrances　of　your　humble　servant；　who
joined　them　at　this　juncture；　those　two　originals　were　perfectly
reconciled；　and　then　we　proceeded　to　deliberate　upon　the　means　of
taking　vengeance　for　the　insults　they　had　received　from　the
petulant　peer；　for；　until　that　aim　should　be　accomplished；　Mr
Bramble　swore；　with　great　emphasis；　that　he　would　not　leave　the
inn　where　we　now　lodged；　even　if　he　should　pass　his　Christmas　on
the　spot。

In　consequence　of　our　deliberations；　we　next　day；　in　the
forenoon；　proceeded　in　a　body　to　his　lordship's　house；　all　of　us；
with　our　servants；　including　the　coachman；　mounted　a…horseback；
with　our　pistols　loaded　and　ready　primed。　　Thus　prepared　for
action；　we　paraded　solemnly　and　slowly　before　his　lordship's
gate；　which　we　passed　three　times　in　such　a　manner；　that　he　could
not　but　see　us；　and　suspect　the　cause　of　our　appearance。　　After
dinner　we　returned；　and　performed　the　same　cavalcade；　which　was
again　repeated　the　morning　following；　but　we　had　no　occasion　to
persist　in　these　manoeuvres。　About　noon；　we　were　visited　by　the
gentleman；　at　whose　house　we　had　first　seen　lord　Oxmington。　　He
now　came　to　make　apologies　in　the　name　of　his　lordship；　who
declared　he　had　no　intention　to　give　offence　to　my　uncle；　in
practising　what　had　been　always　the　custom　of　his　house；　and　that
as　for　the　indignities　which　had　been　put　upon　the　officer；　they
were　offered　without　his　Lordship's　knowledge；　at　the　instigation
of　his　valet　de　chambre。　　'If　that　be　the　case　（said　my　uncle；　in
a　peremptory　tone）；　I　shall　be　contented　with　lord　Oxmington's
personal　excuses；　and　I　hope　my　friend　will　be　satisfied　with　his
lordship's　turning　that　insolent　rascal　out　of　his　service。'　
'Sir　（cried　Lismahago）；　I　must　insist　upon　taking　personal
vengeance　for　the　personal　injuries　I　have　sustained。'

After　some