the expedition of humphry clinker-第62章

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crush　all　opposition　under　his　feet　with　the　concurrence　of　the
legislature。　He　said；　he　should　always　consider　the　liberty　of
the　press　as　a　national　evil；　while　it　enabled　the　vilest　reptile
to　soil　the　lustre　of　the　most　shining　merit；　and　furnished　the
most　infamous　incendiary　with　the　means　of　disturbing　the　peace
and　destroying　the　good　order　of　the　community。　He　owned；
however；　that　under　due　restrictions；　it　would　be　a　valuable
privilege；　but　affirmed；　that　at　present　there　was　no　law　in
England　sufficient　to　restrain　it　within　proper　bounds。

With　respect　to　juries；　he　expressed　himself　to　this　effect：　
juries　are　generally　composed　of　illiterate　plebeians；　apt　to　be
mistaken；　easily　misled；　and　open　to　sinister　influence；　for　if
either　of　the　parties　to　be　tried；　can　gain　over　one　of　the
twelve　jurors；　he　has　secured　the　verdict　in　his　favour；　the
juryman　thus　brought　over　will；　in　despight　of　all　evidence　and
conviction；　generally　hold　out　till　his　fellows　are　fatigued；　and
harassed；　and　starved　into　concurrence；　in　which　case　the　verdict
is　unjust；　and　the　jurors　are　all　perjured：　but　cases　will　often
occur；　when　the　jurors　are　really　divided　in　opinion；　and　each
side　is　convinced　in　opposition　to　the　other；　but　no　verdict　will
be　received；　unless　they　are　unanimous；　and　they　are　all　bound；
not　only　in　conscience；　but　by　oath；　to　judge　and　declare
according　to　their　conviction。　　What　then　will　be　the
consequence？　　They　must　either　starve　in　company；　or　one　side
must　sacrifice　their　conscience　to　their　convenience；　and　join　in
a　verdict　which　they　believe　to　be　false。　This　absurdity　is
avoided　in　Sweden；　where　a　bare　majority　is　sufficient；　and　in
Scotland；　where　two　thirds　of　the　jury　are　required　to　concur　in
the　verdict。

You　must　not　imagine　that　all　these　deductions　were　made　on　his
part；　without　contradictions　on　mine。　　No　　the　truth　is；　I　found
myself　piqued　in　point　of　honour；　at　his　pretending　to　be　so　much
wiser　than　his　neighbours。　　I　questioned　all　his　assertions；
started　innumerable　objections；　argued　and　wrangled　with　uncommon
perseverance；　and　grew　very　warm；　and　even　violent；　in　the
debate。　　Sometimes　he　was　puzzled；　and　once　or　twice；　I　think；
fairly　refuted；　but　from　those　falls　he　rose　again；　like　Antaeus；
with　redoubled　vigour；　till　at　length　I　was　tired；　exhausted；　and
really　did　not　know　how　to　proceed；　when　luckily　he　dropped　a
hint；　by　which　he　discovered　he　had　been　bred　to　the　law；　a
confession　which　enabled　me　to　retire　from　the　dispute　with　a
good　grace；　as　it　could　not　be　supposed　that　a　man　like　me；　who
had　been　bred　to　nothing；　should　be　able　to　cope　with　a　veteran
in　his　own　profession。　I　believe；　however；　that　I　shall　for　some
time　continue　to　chew　the　cud　of　reflection　upon　many
observations　which　this　original　discharged。

Whether　our　sister　Tabby　was　really　struck　with　his　conversation；
or　is　resolved　to　throw　at　every　thing　she　meets　in　the　shape　of
a　man；　till　she　can　fasten　the　matrimonial　noose；　certain　it　is；
she　has　taken　desperate　strides　towards　the　affection　of
Lismahago；　who　cannot　be　said　to　have　met　her　half　way；　though　he
does　not　seem　altogether　insensible　to　her　civilities。　　She
insinuated　more　than　once　how　happy　we　should　be　to　have　his
company　through　that　part　of　Scotland　which　we　proposed　to　visit；
till　at　length　he　plainly　told　us；　that　his　road　was　totally
different　from　that　which　we　intended　to　take；　that；　for　his
part；　his　company　would　be　of　very　little　service　to　us　in　our
progress；　as　he　was　utterly　unacquainted　with　the　country；　which
he　had　left　in　his　early　youth；　consequently；　he　could　neither
direct　us　in　our　enquiries；　nor　introduce　us　to　any　family　of
distinction。　He　said；　he　was　stimulated　by　an　irresistible
impulse　to　revisit　the　paternus　lar；　or　patria　domus；　though　he
expected　little　satisfaction；　inasmuch　as　he　understood　that　his
nephew；　the　present　possessor；　was　but　ill　qualified　to　support
the　honour　of　the　family。　　He　assured　us；　however；　as　we　design
to　return　by　the　west　road；　that　he　will　watch　our　motions；　and
endeavour　to　pay　his　respects　to　us　at　Dumfries。　　Accordingly　he
took　his　leave　of　us　at　a　place　half　way　betwixt　Morpeth　and
Alnwick；　and　pranced　away　in　great　state；　mounted　on　a　tall；
meagre；　raw…boned；　shambling　grey　gelding；　without　e'er　a　tooth
in　his　head；　the　very　counter…part　of　the　rider；　and；　indeed；　the
appearance　of　the　two　was　so　picturesque；　that　I　would　give
twenty　guineas　to　have　them　tolerably　presented　on　canvas。

Northumberland　is　a　fine　county；　extending　to　the　Tweed；　which　is
a　pleasant　pastoral　stream；　but　you　will　be　surprised　when　I　tell
you　that　the　English　side　of　that　river　is　neither　so　well
cultivated　nor　so　populous　as　the　other。　　The　farms　are　thinly
scattered；　the　lands　uninclosed；　and　scarce　a　gentleman's　seat
is　to　be　seen　in　some　miles　from　the　Tweed；　whereas　the　Scots　are
advanced　in　crowds　to　the　very　brink　of　the　river；　so　that　you
may　reckon　above　thirty　good　houses；　in　the　compass　of　a　few
miles；　belonging　to　proprietors　whose　ancestors　had　fortified
castles　in　the　same　situations；　a　circumstance　that　shews　what
dangerous　neighbours　the　Scots　must　have　formerly　been　to　the
northern　counties　of　England。

Our　domestic　oeconomy　continues　on　the　old　footing。　　My　sister
Tabby　still　adheres　to　methodism；　and　had　the　benefit　of　a　sermon
at　Wesley's　meeting　in　Newcastle；　but　I　believe　the　Passion　of
love　has　in　some　measure　abated　the　fervour　of　devotion　both　in
her　and　her　woman；　Mrs　Jenkins；　about　whose　good　graces　there　has
been　a　violent　contest　betwixt　my　nephew's　valet；　Mr　Dutton；　and
my　man；　Humphry　Clinker。　　Jery　has　been　obliged　to　interpose　his
authority　to　keep　the　peace；　and　to　him　I　have　left　the
discussion　of　that　important　affair；　which　had　like　to　have
kindled　the　flames　of　discord　in　the　family　of

Yours　always；
MATT。　BRAMBLE
TWEEDMOUTH；　July　15。



To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS；　Bart。　at　Oxon。

DEAR　WAT；

In　my　two　last　you　had　so　much　of　Lismahago；　that　I　suppose　you
are　glad　he　is　gone　off　the　stage　for　the　present。　　I　must　now
descend　to　domestic　occurrences。　　Love；　it　seems；　is　resolved　to
assert　his　dominion　over　all　the　females　of　our　family。　　After
having　practised　upon　poor　Liddy's　heart；　and　played　strange
vagaries　with　our　aunt　Mrs　Tabitha；　he　began　to　run　riot　in　the
affections　of　her　woman；　Mrs　Winifred　Jenkins；　whom　I　have　had
occasion　to　mention　more　than　once　in　the　course　of　our　memoirs。
Nature　intended　Jenkins　for　something　very　different　from　the
character　of　her　mistress；　yet　custom　and　habit　have　effected　a
wonderful　resemblance　betwixt　them　in　many　particulars。　Win；　to
be　sure；　is　much　younger　and　more　agreeable　in　her　person；　she　is
likewise　tender…hearted　and　benevolent；　qualities　for　which　her
mistress　is　by　no　means　remarkable；　no　more　than　she　is　for　being
of　a　timorous　disposition；　and　much　subject　to　fits　of　the
mother；　which　are　the　infirmities　of　Win's　constitution：　but　then
she　seems　to　have　adopted　Mrs　Tabby's　manner　with　her　cast
cloaths。　　She　dresses　and　endeavours　to　look　like　her　mistress；
although　her　own　looks　are　much　more　engaging。　　She　enters　into
her　scheme　of　oeconomy；　learns　her　phrases；　repeats　her　remarks；
imitates　her　stile　in　scolding　the　inferior　servants；　and；
finally；　subscribes　implicitly　to　her　system　of　devotion。　　This；
indeed；　she　found　the　more　agreeable；　as　it　was　in　a　great
measure　introduced　and　confirmed　by　the　ministry　of　Clinker；　with
whose　personal　merit　she　seems　to　have　been　struck　ever　since　he
exhibited　the　pattern　of　his　naked　skin　at　Marlborough。

Nevertheless；　though　Humphry　had　this　double　hank　upon　her
inclinations；　and　exerted　all　his　power　to　maintain　the　conquest
he　had　made；　he　found　it　impossible　to　guard　it　on　the　side　of
vanity；　where　poor　Win　was　as　frail　as　any　female　in　the　kingdom。
In　short；　my　rascal　Dutton　professed　himself　her　admirer；　and；　by
dint　of　his　outlandish　qualifications；　threw　his　rival　Clinker
out　of　the　saddle　of　her　heart。　Humphry　may　be　compared　to　an
English　pudding；　composed　of　good　wholesome　flour　and　suet；　and
Dutton　to　a　syllabub　or　iced　froth；