the expedition of humphry clinker-第40章

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there　was　very　little　merit　in　parting　with　it　so　easily；　that
his　pride　was　gratified　in　seeing　himself　courted　by　such　a
number　of　literary　dependents；　that；　probably；　he　delighted　in
hearing　them　expose　and　traduce　one　another；　and；　finally；　from
their　information；　he　became　acquainted　with　all　the　transactions
of　Grubstreet；　which　he　had　some　thoughts　of　compiling　for　the
entertainment　of　the　public。

I　could　not　help　suspecting；　from　Dick's　discourse；　that　he　had
some　particular　grudge　against　S；　upon　whose　conduct　he　had　put
the　worst　construction　it　would　bear；　and；　by　dint　of　cross…examination；
I　found　he　was　not　at　all　satisfied　with　the
character　which　had　been　given　in　the　Review　of　his　last
performance；　though　it　had　been　treated　civilly　in　consequence　of
the　author's　application　to　the　critic。　By　all　accounts；　S　is　not
without　weakness　and　caprice；　but　he　is　certainly　good…humoured
and　civilized；　nor　do　I　find　that　there　is　any　thing　overbearing；
cruel；　or　implacable　in　his　disposition。

I　have　dwelt　so　long　upon　authors；　that　you　will　perhaps　suspect
I　intend　to　enroll　myself　among　the　fraternity；　but；　if　I　were
actually　qualified　for　the　profession；　it　is　at　best　but　a
desperate　resource　against　starving；　as　it　affords　no　provision
for　old　age　and　infirmity。　Salmon；　at　the　age　of　fourscore；　is
now　in　a　garret；　compiling　matter；　at　a　guinea　a　sheet；　for　a
modern　historian；　who；　in　point　of　age；　might　be　his　grandchild；
and　Psalmonazar；　after　having　drudged　half　a　century　in　the
literary　mill；　in　all　the　simplicity　and　abstinence　of　an
Asiatic；　subsists　upon　the　charity　of　a　few　booksellers；　just
sufficient　to　keep　him　from　the　parish；　I　think　Guy；　who　was
himself　a　bookseller；　ought　to　have　appropriated　one　wing　or　ward
of　his　hospital　to　the　use　of　decayed　authors；　though　indeed；
there　is　neither　hospital；　college；　nor　workhouse；　within　the
bills　of　mortality；　large　enough　to　contain　the　poor　of　this
society；　composed；　as　it　is；　from　the　refuse　of　every　other
profession。

I　know　not　whether　you　will　find　any　amusement　in　this　account　of
an　odd　race　of　mortals；　whose　constitution　had；　I　own；　greatly
interested　the　curiosity　of

Yours；
J。　MELFORD
LONDON；　June　10。




To　Miss　LAETITIA　WILLIS；　at　Gloucester。

MY　DEAR　LETTY；

There　is　something　on　my　spirits；　which　I　should　not　venture　to
communicate　by　the　post；　but　having　the　opportunity　of　Mrs
Brentwood's　return；　I　seize　it　eagerly；　to　disburthen　my　poor
heart；　which　is　oppressed　with　fear　and　vexation。　　O　Letty！　what
a　miserable　situation　it　is；　to　be　without　a　friend　to　whom　one
can　apply　for　counsel　and　consolation　in　distress！　I　hinted　in　my
last；　that　one　Mr　Barton　had　been　very　particular　in　his
civilities：　I　can　no　longer　mistake　his　meaning　　he　has　formally
professed　himself　my　admirer；　and；　after　a　thousand　assiduities；
perceiving　I　made　but　a　cold　return　to　his　addresses；　he　had
recourse　to　the　mediation　of　lady　Griskin；　who　has　acted　the　part
of　a　very　warm　advocate　in　his　behalf：　　but；　my　dear　Willis；　her
ladyship　over　acts　her　part　　she　not　only　expatiates　on　the　ample
fortune；　the　great　connexions；　and　the　unblemished　character　of
Mr　Barton；　but　she　takes　the　trouble　to　catechise　me；　and；　two
days　ago；　peremptorily　told　me；　that　a　girl　of　my　age　could　not
possibly　resist　so　many　considerations；　if　her　heart　was　not　pre…engaged。

This　insinuation　threw　me　into　such　a　flutter；　that　she　could　not
but　observe　my　disorder；　and；　presuming　upon　the　discovery；
insisted　upon　my　making　her　the　confidante　of　my　passion。　But；
although　I　had　not　such　command　of　myself　as　to　conceal　the
emotion　of　my　heart；　I　am　not　such　a　child　as　to　disclose　its
secret　to　a　person　who　would　certainly　use　them　to　its　prejudice。
I　told　her；　it　was　no　wonder　if　I　was　out　of　countenance　at　her
introducing　a　subject　of　conversation　so　unsuitable　to　my　years
and　inexperience；　that　I　believed　Mr　Barton　was　a　very　worthy
gentleman；　and　I　was　much　obliged　to　him　for　his　good　opinion；
but　the　affections　were　involuntary；　and　mine；　in　particular；　had
as　yet　made　no　concessions　in　his　favour。　She　shook　her　head　with
an　air　of　distrust　that　made　me　tremble；　and　observed；　that　if　my
affections　were　free；　they　would　submit　to　the　decision　of
prudence；　especially　when　enforced　by　the　authority　of　those　who
had　a　right　to　direct　my　conduct。　This　remark　implied　a　design　to
interest　my　uncle　or　my　aunt；　perhaps　my　brother；　in　behalf　of　Mr
Barton's　passion；　and　I　am　sadly　afraid　that　my　aunt　is　already
gained　over。　Yesterday　in　the　forenoon；　he　had　been　walking　with
us　in　the　Park；　and　stopping　in　our　return　at　a　toy…shop；　he
presented　her　with　a　very　fine　snuff…box；　and　me　with　a　gold
etuis；　which　I　resolutely　refused；　till　she　commanded　me　to
accept　it　on　pain　of　her　displeasure：　nevertheless；　being　still
unsatisfied　with　respect　to　the　propriety　of　receiving　this　toy；
I　signified　my　doubts　to　my　brother；　who　said　he　would　consult　my
uncle　on　the　subject；　and　seemed　to　think　Mr　Barton　had　been
rather　premature　in　his　presents。

What　will　be　the　result　of　this　consultation；　Heaven　knows；　but　I
am　afraid　it　will　produce　an　explanation　with　Mr　Barton；　who
will；　no　doubt；　avow　his　passion；　and　solicit　their　consent　to　a
connexion　which　my　soul　abhors；　for；　my　dearest　Letty；　it　is　not
in　my　power　to　love　Mr　Barton；　even　if　my　heart　was　untouched　by
any　other　tenderness。　Not　that　there　is　any　thing　disagreeable
about　his　person；　but　there　is　a　total　want　of　that　nameless
charm　which　captivates　and　controuls　the　inchanted　spirit　at
least；　he　appears　to　me　to　have　this　defect；　but　if　he　had　all
the　engaging　qualifications　which　a　man　can　possess；　they　would
be　excited　in　vain　against　that　constancy；　which；　I　flatter
myself；　is　the　characteristic　of　my　nature。　No；　my　dear　Willis；　I
may　be　involved　in　fresh　troubles；　and　I　believe　I　shall；　from
the　importunities　of　this　gentleman　and　the　violence　of　my
relations；　but　my　heart　is　incapable　of　change。

You　know　I　put　no　faith　in　dreams；　and　yet　I　have　been　much
disturbed　by　one　that　visited　me　last　night。　　I　thought　I　was　in
a　church；　where　a　certain　person；　whom　you　know；　was　on　the　point
of　being　married　to　my　aunt；　that　the　clergyman　was　Mr　Barton；
and　that　poor　forlorn　I；　stood　weeping　in　a　corner；　half　naked；
and　without　shoes　or　stockings。　　Now；　I　know　there　is　nothing　so
childish　as　to　be　moved　by　those　vain　illusions；　but；
nevertheless；　in　spite　of　all　my　reason；　this　hath　made　a　strong
impression　upon　my　mind；　which　begins　to　be　very　gloomy。　Indeed；
I　have　another　more　substantial　cause　of　affliction　　I　have　some
religious　scruples；　my　dear　friend；　which　lie　heavy　on　my
conscience。　　I　was　persuaded　to　go　to　the　Tabernacle；　where　I
heard　a　discourse　that　affected　me　deeply。　　I　have　prayed
fervently　to　be　enlightened；　but　as　yet　I　am　not　sensible　of
these　inward　motions；　those　operations　of　grace；　which　are　the
signs　of　a　regenerated　spirit；　and　therefore　I　begin　to　be　in
terrible　apprehensions　about　the　state　of　my　poor　soul。　Some　of
our　family　have　had　very　uncommon　accessions；　particularly　my
aunt　and　Mrs　Jenkins；　who　sometimes　speak　as　if　they　were　really
inspired；　so　that　I　am　not　like　to　want　for　either　exhortation　or
example；　to　purify　my　thoughts；　and　recall　them　from　the　vanities
of　this　world；　which；　indeed；　I　would　willingly　resign；　if　it　was
in　my　power；　but　to　make　this　sacrifice；　I　must　be　enabled　by
such　assistance　from　above　as　hath　not　yet　been　indulged　to

Your　unfortunate　friend；
LYDIA　MELFORD
June　10。




To　Sir　WATKIN　PHILLIPS；　of　Jesus　college；　Oxon。

DEAR　PHILLIPS；

The　moment　I　received　your　letter；　I　began　to　execute　your
commission　　With　the　assistance　of　mine　host　at　the　Bull　and
Gate；　I　discovered　the　place　to　which　your　fugitive　valet　had
retreated；　and　taxed　him　with　his　dishonesty　　The　fellow　was　in
manifest　confusion　at　sight　of　me；　but　he　denied　the　charge　with
great　confidence；　till　I　told　him；　that　if　he　would　give　up　the
watch；　which　was　a　family　piece；　he　might　keep　the　money　and　the
clothes；　and　go　to　the　devil　his　own　way；　at　his　leisure；　but　if
he　rejected　this　pro