the expedition of humphry clinker-第25章

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parcels；　and；　at　length；　displayed　the　individual　countenance　of
Humphry　Clinker；　who　had　metamorphosed　himself　in　this　manner；　by
relieving　from　pawn　part　of　his　own　clothes；　with　the　money　he
had　received　from　Mr　Bramble。

Howsoever　pleased　the　rest　of　the　company　were　with　such　a
favourable　change　in　the　appearance　of　this　poor　creature　it
soured　on　the　stomach　of　Mrs　Tabby；　who　had　not　yet　digested　the
affront　of　his　naked　skin　　She　tossed　her　nose　in　disdain；
saying；　she　supposed　her　brother　had　taken　him　into　favour；
because　he　had　insulted　her　with　his　obscenity：　that　a　fool　and
his　money　were　soon　parted；　but　that　if　Matt　intended　to　take　the
fellow　with　him　to　London；　she　would　not　go　a　foot　further　that
way　　My　uncle　said　nothing　with　his　tongue；　though　his　looks　were
sufficiently　expressive；　and　next　morning　Clinker　did　not　appear；
so　that　we　proceeded　without　further　altercation　to　Salthill；
where　we　proposed　to　dine　　There；　the　first　person　that　came　to
the　side　of　the　coach；　and　began　to　adjust　the　footboard；　was　no
other　than　Humphry　Clinker　　When　I　handed　out　Mrs　Bramble；　she
eyed　him　with　a　furious　look；　and　passed　into　the　house　　My　uncle
was　embarrassed；　and　asked　him　peevishly；　what　had　brought　him
hither？　The　fellow　said；　his　honour　had　been　so　good　to　him；　that
he　had　not　the　heart　to　part　with　him；　that　he　would　follow　him
to　the　world's　end；　and　serve　him　all　the　days　of　his　life；
without　fee　or　reward。

Mr　Bramble　did　not　know　whether　to　chide　or　laugh　at　this
declaration　　He　foresaw　much　contradiction　on　the　side　of
Tabby；　and　on　the　other　hand；　he　could　not　but　be　pleased　with
the　gratitude　of　Clinker；　as　well　as　with　the　simplicity　of　his
character　　'Suppose　I　was　inclined　to　take　you　into　my　service
（said　he）　what　are　your　qualifications？　what　are　you　good　for？'
'An　please　your　honour　（answered　this　original）　I　can　read　and
write；　and　do　the　business　of　the　stable　indifferent　well　　I　can
dress　a　horse；　and　shoe　him；　and　bleed　and　rowel　him；　and；　as　for
the　practice　of　sow…gelding；　I　won't　turn　my　back　on　e'er　a　he　in
the　county　of　Wilts　　Then　I　can　make　hog's　puddings　and　hob…nails；
mend　kettles　and　tin　sauce…pans。'　　Here　uncle　burst　out　a…laughing；
and　inquired　what　other　accomplishments　he　was　master
of　　'I　know　something　of　single…stick；　and　psalmody　（proceeded
Clinker）；　I　can　play　upon　the　jew's…harp；　sing　Black…ey'd　Susan；
Arthur…o'Bradley；　and　divers　other　songs；　I　can　dance　a　Welsh
jig；　and　Nancy　Dawson；　wrestle　a　fall　with　any　lad　of　my　inches；
when　I'm　in　heart；　and；　under　correction　I　can　find　a　hare　when
your　honour　wants　a　bit　of　game。'　'Foregad！　thou　are　a　complete
fellow　（cried　my　uncle；　still　laughing）　I　have　a　good　mind　to
take　thee　into　my　family　　Prithee；　go　and　try　if　thou　can'st　make
peace　with　my　sister　　Thou　ha'st　given　her　much　offence　by
shewing　her　thy　naked　tail。'

Clinker　accordingly　followed　us　into　the　room；　cap　in　hand；
where；　addressing　himself　to　Mrs　Tabitha；　'May　it　please　your
ladyship's　worship　（cried　he）　to　pardon　and　forgive　my　offences；
and；　with　God's　assistance；　I　shall　take　care　that　my　tail　shall
never　rise　up　in　judgment　against　me；　to　offend　your　ladyship
again。　Do；　pray；　good；　sweet；　beautiful　lady；　take　compassion　on　a
poor　sinner　　God　bless　your　noble　countenance；　I　am　sure　you　are
too　handsome　and　generous　to　bear　malice　　I　will　serve　you　on　my
bended　knees；　by　night　and　by　day；　by　land　and　by　water；　and　all
for　the　love　and　pleasure　of　serving　such　an　excellent　lady。'

This　compliment　and　humiliation　had　some　effect　upon　Tabby；　but
she　made　no　reply；　and　Clinker；　taking　silence　for　consent；　gave
his　attendance　at　dinner。　The　fellow's　natural　aukwardness　and
the　flutter　of　his　spirits　were　productive　of　repeated　blunders
in　the　course　of　his　attendance　　At　length；　he　spilt　part　of　a
custard　upon　her　right　shoulder；　and；　starting　back；　trod　upon
Chowder；　who　set　up　a　dismal　howl　　Poor　Humphry　was　so
disconcerted　at　this　double　mistake；　that　he　dropt　the　china
dish；　which　broke　into　a　thousand　pieces；　then；　falling　down　upon
his　knees；　remained　in　that　posture　gaping；　with　a　most　ludicrous
aspect　of　distress。　Mrs　Bramble　flew　to　the　dog；　and；　snatching
him　in　her　arms；　presented　him　to　her　brother　saying；　'This　is
all　a　concerted　scheme　against　this　unfortunate　animal；　whose
only　crime　is　its　regard　for　me　　Here　it　is；　kill　it　at　once；　and
then　you'll　be　satisfied。'

Clinker；　hearing　these　words；　and　taking　them　in　the　literal
acceptation；　got　up　in　some　hurry；　and　seizing　a　knife　from　the
side…board；　cried；　'Not　here；　an　please　your　ladyship　　It　will
daub　the　room　　Give　him　to　me；　and　I'll　carry　him　to　the　ditch　by
the　roadside'　To　this　proposal　he　received　no　other　answer；　than
a　hearty　box　on　the　ear；　that　made　him　stagger　to　the　other　side
of　the　room。　'What！　（said　she　to　her　brother）　am　I　to　be
affronted　by　every　mangy　hound　that　you　pick　up　on　the　highway？　I
insist　upon　your　sending　this　rascallion　about　his　business
immediately'　'For　God's　sake；　sister；　compose　yourself　（said　my
uncle）　and　consider　that　the　poor　fellow　is　innocent　of　any
intention　to　give　you　offence'　'Innocent　as　the　babe　unborn'
（cried　Humphry）。　'I　see　it　plainly　（exclaimed　this　implacable
maiden）；　he　acts　by　your　direction；　and　you　are　resolved　to
support　him　in　his　impudence　This　is　a　bad　return　for　all　the
services　I　have　done　you；　for　nursing　you　in　your　sickness；
managing　your　family；　and　keeping　you　from　ruining　yourself　by
your　own　imprudence　　But　now　you　shall　part　with　that　rascal　or
me；　upon　the　spot；　without　farther　loss　of　time；　and　the　world
shall　see　whether　you　have　more　regard　for　your　own　flesh　and
blood；　or　for　a　beggarly　foundling　taken　from　the　dunghill。'

Mr　Bramble's　eyes　began　to　glisten；　and　his　teeth　to　chatter。　'If
stated　fairly　（said　he；　raising　his　voice）　the　question　is；
whether　I　have　spirit　to　shake　off　an　intolerable　yoke；　by　one
effort　of　resolution；　or　meanness　enough　to　do　an　act　of　cruelty
and　injustice；　to　gratify　the　rancour　of　a　capricious　woman　
Heark　ye；　Mrs　Tabitha　Bramble；　I　will　now　propose　an　alternative
in　my　turn。　Either　discard　your　four…footed　favourite；　or　give　me
leave　to　bid　you　eternally　adieu　　For　I　am　determined　that　he　and
I　shall　live　no　longer　under　the　same　roof；　and　to　dinner　with
what　appetite　you　may'　　Thunderstruck　at　this　declaration；　she
sat　down　in　a　corner；　and；　after　a　pause　of　some　minutes；　'Sure　I
don't　understand　you；　Matt！　（said　she）'　'And　yet　I　spoke　in　plain
English'　answered　the　'squire；　with　a　peremptory　look。　'Sir
（resumed　this　virago；　effectually　humbled）；　it　is　your
prerogative　to　command；　and　my　duty　to　obey。　I　can't　dispose　of
the　dog　in　this　place；　but　if　you'll　allow　him　to　go　in　the　coach
to　London；　I　give　you　my　word；　he　shall　never　trouble　you　again。'

Her　brother；　entirely　disarmed　by　this　mild　reply；　declared；　she
could　ask　him　nothing　in　reason　that　he　would　refuse；　adding；　'I
hope；　sister；　you　have　never　found　me　deficient　in　natural
affection。'

Mrs　Tabitha　immediately　rose；　and；　throwing　her　arms　about　his
neck；　kissed　him　on　the　cheek：　he　returned　her　embrace　with　great
emotion。　Liddy　sobbed；　Win。　Jenkins　cackled；　Chowder　capered；　and
Clinker　skipped　about；　rubbing　his　hands　for　joy　of　this
reconciliation。

Concord　being　thus　restored；　we　finished　our　meal　with　comfort；
and　in　the　evening　arrived　at　London；　without　having　met　with　any
other　adventure。　My　aunt　seems　to　be　much　mended　by　the　hint　she
received　from　her　brother。　She　has　been　graciously　pleased　to
remove　her　displeasure　from　Clinker；　who　is　now　retained　as　a
footman；　and　in　a　day　or　two　will　make　his　appearance　in　a　new
suit　of　livery；　but　as　he　is　little　acquainted　with　London；　we
have　taken　an　occasional　valet；　whom　I　intend　hereafter　to　hire
as　my　own　servant。　We　lodge　in　Goldensquare；　at　the　house　of　one
Mrs　Notion；　a　decent　sort　of　a　woman；　who　takes　great　pains　to
make　us　all　easy。　My　uncle　proposes　to　make　a　circuit　of　all　the
remarkable　scenes　of　this　metropolis；　for　the　entertainment　of
his　pupils；　but　as　both　you　and　I　are　already　acquainted　with
most　of　those　he　will　visit；　and　with