the expedition of humphry clinker-第16章

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triumph　of　his　judgment　　Indeed；　his　victory　was　more　complete
than　he　imagined；　for；　as　we　afterwards　learned；　the　two　amazons
who　singularized　themselves　most　in　the　action；　did　not　come　from
the　purlieus　of　Puddle…dock；　but　from　the　courtly　neighbourhood
of　St　James's　palace。　One　was　a　baroness；　and　the　other；　a
wealthy　knight's　dowager　　My　uncle　spoke　not　a　word；　till　we　had
made　our　retreat　good　to　the　coffee…house；　where；　taking　off　his
hat　and　wiping　his　forehead；　'I　bless　God　（said　he）　that　Mrs
Tabitha　Bramble　did　not　take　the　field　today！'　'I　would　pit　her
for　a　cool　hundred　（cried　Quin）　against　the　best　shake…bag　of　the
whole　main。'　The　truth　is；　nothing　could　have　kept　her　at　home
but　the　accident　of　her　having　taken　physic　before　she　knew　the
nature　of　the　entertainment。　She　has　been　for　some　days
furbishing　up　an　old　suit　of　black　velvet；　to　make　her　appearance
as　Sir　Ulic's　partner　at　the　next　ball。

I　have　much　to　say　of　this　amiable　kinswoman；　but　she　has　not
been　properly　introduced　to　your　acquaintance。　She　is　remarkably
civil　to　Mr　Quin；　of　whose　sarcastic　humour　she　seems　to　stand　in
awe；　but　her　caution　is　no　match　for　her　impertinence。　'Mr　Gwynn
（said　she　the　other　day）　I　was　once　vastly　entertained　with　your
playing　the　Ghost　of　Gimlet　at　Drury…lane；　when　you　rose　up
through　the　stage；　with　a　white　face　and　red　eyes；　and　spoke　of
quails　upon　the　frightful　porcofine　　Do；　pray；　spout　a　little　the
Ghost　of　Gimlet。'　'Madam　（said　Quin；　with　a　glance　of　ineffable
disdain）　the　Ghost　of　Gimlet　is　laid；　never　to　rise　again'　
Insensible　of　this　check；　she　proceeded：　'Well；　to　be　sure；　you
looked　and　talked　so　like　a　real　ghost；　and　then　the　cock　crowed
so　natural。　I　wonder　how　you　could　teach　him　to　crow　so　exact；　in
the　very　nick　of　time；　but；　I　suppose；　he's　game　　An't　he　game；
Mr　Gwynn？'　'Dunghill；　madam。'　　'Well；　dunghill；　or　not　dunghill；
he　has　got　such　a　clear　counter…tenor；　that　I　wish　I　had　such
another　at　Brambleton…hall；　to　wake　the　maids　of　a　morning。　Do
you　know　where　I　could　find　one　of　his　brood？'　'Probably　in　the
work…house　at　St　Giles's　parish；　madam；　but　I　protest　I　know　not
his　particular　mew！'　My　uncle；　frying　with　vexation；　cried；　'Good
God；　sister；　how　you　talk！　I　have　told　you　twenty　times；　that
this　gentleman's　name　is　not　Gwynn。'　　'Hoity　toity；　brother　mine
（she　replied）　no　offence；　I　hope　　Gwynn　is　an　honorable　name；　of
true　old　British　extraction　　I　thought　the　gentleman　had　been
come　of　Mrs　Helen　Gwynn；　who　was　of　his　own　profession；　and　if　so
be　that　were　the　case；　he　might　be　of　king　Charles's　breed；　and
have　royal　blood　in　his　veins。'　　'No；　madam　（answered　Quin；　with
great　solemnity）　my　mother　was　not　a　whore　of　such　distinction　
True　it　is；　I　am　sometimes　tempted　to　believe　myself　of　royal
descent；　for　my　inclinations　are　often　arbitrary　　If　I　was　an
absolute　prince；　at　this　instant；　I　believe　I　should　send　for　the
head　of　your　cook　in　a　charger　　She　has　committed　felony；　on　the
person　of　that　John　Dory；　which　is　mangled　in　a　cruel　manner；　and
even　presented　without　sauce　　O　tempora！　O　mores！'

This　good…humoured　sally　turned　the　conversation　into　a　less
disagreeable　channel　　But；　lest　you　should　think　my　scribble　as
tedious　as　Mrs　Tabby's　clack；　I　shall　not　add　another　word；　but
that　I　am　as　usual

Yours；
J。　MELFORD
BATH；　April　30。



To　Dr　LEWIS。

DEAR　LEWIS；

I　received　your　bill　upon　Wiltshire；　which　was　punctually
honoured；　but　as　I　don't　choose　to　keep　so　much　cash　by　me；　in　a
common　lodging　house；　I　have　deposited　250l。　in　the　bank　of　Bath；
and　shall　take　their　bills　for　it　in　London；　when　I　leave　this
place；　where　the　season　draws　to　an　end　　You　must　know；　that　now
being　a…foot；　I　am　resolved　to　give　Liddy　a　glimpse　of　London。
She　is　one　of　the　best　hearted　creatures　I　ever　knew；　and　gains
upon　my　affection　every　day　　As　for　Tabby；　I　have　dropt　such
hints　to　the　Irish　baronet；　concerning　her　fortune；　as；　I　make　no
doubt；　will　cool　the　ardour　of　his　addresses。　Then　her　pride　will
take　the　alarm；　and　the　rancour　of　stale　maidenhood　being　chafed；
we　shall　hear　nothing　but　slander　and　abuse　of　Sir　Ulic
Mackilligut　　This　rupture；　I　foresee；　will　facilitate　our
departure　from　Bath；　where；　at　present；　Tabby　seems　to　enjoy
herself　with　peculiar　satisfaction。　For　my　part；　I　detest　it　so
much；　that　I　should　not　have　been　able　to　stay　so　long　in　the
place　if　I　had　not　discovered　some　old　friends；　whose
conversation　alleviates　my　disgust　　Going　to　the　coffeehouse　one
forenoon；　I　could　not　help　contemplating　the　company；　with　equal
surprize　and　compassion　　We　consisted　of　thirteen　individuals；
seven　lamed　by　the　gout；　rheumatism；　or　palsy；　three　maimed　by
accident；　and　the　rest　either　deaf　or　blind。　One　hobbled；　another
hopped；　a　third　dragged　his　legs　after　him　like　a　wounded　snake；
a　fourth　straddled　betwixt　a　pair　of　long　crutches；　like　the
mummy　of　a　felon　hanging　in　chains；　a　fifth　was　bent　into　a
horizontal　position；　like　a　mounted　telescope；　shoved　in　by　a
couple　of　chairmen；　and　a　sixth　was　the　bust　of　a　man；　set
upright　in　a　wheel　machine；　which　the　waiter　moved　from　place　to
place。

Being　struck　with　some　of　their　faces；　I　consulted　the
subscription…book；　and；　perceiving　the　names　of　several　old
friends；　began　to　consider　the　groupe　with　more　attention。　At
length　I　discovered　rear…admiral　Balderick；　the　companion　of　my
youth；　whom　I　had　not　seen　since　he　was　appointed　lieutenant　of
the　Severn。　He　was　metamorphosed　into　an　old　man；　with　a　wooden
leg　and　a　weatherbeaten　face；　which　appeared　the　more　ancient
from　his　grey　locks；　that　were　truly　venerable　　Sitting　down　at
the　table；　where　he　was　reading　a　news…paper；　I　gazed　at　him　for
some　minutes；　with　a　mixture　of　pleasure　and　regret；　which　made
my　heart　gush　with　tenderness；　then；　taking　him　by　the　hand；　'Ah；
Sam　（said　I）　forty　years　ago　I　little　thought'　　I　was　too　much
moved　to　proceed。　'An　old　friend；　sure　enough！　（cried　he；
squeezing　my　hand；　and　surveying　me　eagerly　through　his　glasses）
I　know　the　looming　of　the　vessel；　though　she　has　been　hard
strained　since　we　parted；　but　I　can't　heave　up　the　name'　　The
moment　I　told　him　who　I　was；　he　exclaimed；　'Ha！　Matt；　my　old
fellow　cruizer；　still　afloat！'　And；　starting　up；　hugged　me　in　his
arms。　His　transport；　however；　boded　me　no　good；　for；　in　saluting
me；　he　thrust　the　spring　of　his　spectacles　into　my　eye；　and；　at
the　same　time；　set　his　wooden　stump　upon　my　gouty　toe；　an　attack
that　made　me　shed　tears　in　sad　earnest　　After　the　hurry　of　our
recognition　was　over；　he　pointed　out　two　of　our　common　friends　in
the　room：　the　bust　was　what　remained　of　colonel　Cockril；　who　had
lost　the　use　of　his　limbs　in　making　an　American　campaign；　and　the
telescope　proved　to　be　my　college　chum；　sir　Reginald　Bently；　who；
with　his　new　title；　and　unexpected　inheritance；　commenced　fox…hunter；
without　having　served　his　apprenticeship　to　the　mystery；
and；　in　consequence　of　following　the　hounds　through　a　river；　was
seized　with　an　inflammation　of　his　bowels；　which　has　contracted
him　into　his　present　attitude。

Our　former　correspondence　was　forthwith　renewed；　with　the　most
hearty　expressions　of　mutual　good…will；　and　as　we　had　met　so
unexpectedly；　we　agreed　to　dine　together　that　very　day　at　the
tavern。　My　friend　Quin；　being　luckily　unengaged；　obliged　us　with
his　company；　and；　truly；　this　　the　most　happy　day　I　have　passed
these　twenty　years。　You　and　I；　Lewis；　having　been　always
together；　never　tasted　friendship　in　this　high　gout；　contracted
from　long　absence。　I　cannot　express　the　half　of　what　I　felt　at
this　casual　meeting　of　three　or　four　companions；　who　had　been　so
long　separated；　and　so　roughly　treated　by　the　storms　of　life。　It
was　a　renovation　of　youth；　a　kind　of　resuscitation　of　the　dead；
that　realized　those　interesting　dreams；　in　which　we　sometimes
retrieve　our　ancient　friends　from　the　grave。　Perhaps　my　enjoyment
was　not　the　less　pleasing　for　being　mixed　with　a　strain　of
melancholy；　produced　by　the　remembrance　of　past　scenes；　that
conjured　up　the　ideas　of　some　endearing　connexions；　which　the
hand　of　Death　has　actually　dissolved。

The　spirits　and　good　humour　of　the　company　s