the expedition of humphry clinker-第13章

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Hottogon；　and　Bloody　Buildings；　and　Harry　King's　row；　and　I　have
been　twice　in　the　Bath　with　mistress；　and　na'r　a　smoak　upon　our
backs；　hussy。　The　first　time　I　was　mortally　afraid；　and　flustered
all　day；　and　afterwards　made　believe　that　I　had　got　the　heddick；
but　mistress　said；　if　I　didn't　go　I　should　take　a　dose　of
bumtaffy；　and　so　remembering　how　it　worked　Mrs　Gwyllim　a
pennorth；　I　chose　rather　to　go　again　with　her　into　the　Bath；　and
then　I　met　with　an　axident。　I　dropt　my　petticoat；　and　could　not
get　it　up　from　the　bottom。But　what　did　that　signify；　they
mought　laff　but　they　could　see　nothing；　for　I　was　up　to　the　sin
in　water。　To　be　sure；　it　threw　me　into　such　a　gumbustion；　that　I
know　not　what　I　said；　nor　what　I　did；　nor　how　they　got　me　out；
and　rapt　me　in　a　blanket　　Mrs　Tabitha　scoulded　a　little　when　we
got　home；　but　she　knows　as　I　know　what's　what　Ah　Laud　help　you！　
There　is　Sir　Yury　Micligut；　of　Balnaclinch；　in　the　cunty　of
Kalloway　　I　took　down　the　name　from　his　gentleman；　Mr　0　Frizzle；
and　he　has　got　an　estate　of　fifteen　hundred　a　year　　I　am　sure　he
is　both　rich　and　generousBut　you　nose；　Molly；　I　was　always
famous　for　keeping　secrets；　and　so　he　was　very　safe　in　trusting
me　with　his　flegm　for　mistress；　which；　to　be　sure　is　very
honourable；　for　Mr　0　Frizzle　assures　me；　he　values　not　her
portion　a　brass　varthing　　And；　indeed；　what's　poor　ten　thousand
pounds　to　a　Baron　Knight　of　his　fortune？　and；　truly；　I　told　Mr　0
Frizzle　that　was　all　she　had　trust　to　　As　for　John　Thomas；　he's　a
morass　fellor　　I　vow；　I　thought　he　would　a　fit　with　Mr　0　Frizzle；
because　he　axed　me　to　dance　with　him　at　Spring　Garden　　But　God　he
knows　I　have　no　thoughts　eyther　of　wan　or　t'other。

As　for　house　news；　the　worst　is；　Chowder　has　fallen　off　greatly
from　his　stomick　　He　cats　nothing　but　white　meats；　and　not　much
of　that；　and　wheezes；　and　seems　to　be　much　bloated。　The　doctors
think　he　is　threatened　with　a　dropsy　　Parson　Marrofat；　who　has
got　the　same　disorder；　finds　great　benefit　from　the　waters；　but
Chowder　seems　to　like　them　no　better　than　the　squire；　and
mistress　says；　if　his　case　don't　take　a　favourable　turn；　she　will
sartinly　carry　him　to　Aberga'ny；　to　drink　goat's　whey　　To　be
sure；　the　poor　dear　honymil　is　lost　for　want　of　axercise；　for
which　reason；　she　intends　to　give　him　an　airing　once　a…day　upon
the　Downs；　in　a　post…chaise　　I　have　already　made　very　creditable
connexions　in　this　here　place；　where；　to　be　sure；　we　have　the
very　squintasense　of　satiety　　Mrs　Patcher；　my　lady　Kilmacullock's
woman；　and　I　are　sworn　sisters。　She　has　shewn　me　all　her　secrets；
and　learned　me　to　wash　gaze；　and　refrash　rusty　silks　and
bumbeseens；　by　boiling　them　with　winegar；　chamberlye；　and　stale
beer。　My　short　sack　and　apron　luck　as　good　as　new　from　the　shop；
and　my　pumpydoor　as　fresh　as　a　rose；　by　the　help　of　turtle…water　
But　this　is　all　Greek　and　Latten　to　you；　Molly　　If　we　should
come　to　Aberga'ny；　you'll　be　within　a　day's　ride　of　us；　and　then
we　shall　see　wan　another；　please　God　　If　not；　remember　me　in　your
prayers；　as　I　shall　do　by　you　in　mine；　and　take　care　of　my
kitten；　and　give　my　kind　sarvice　to　Sall；　and　this　is　all　at
present；　from　your　beloved　friend　and　sarvent；

W。　JENKINS
BATH；　April　26。


To　Mrs　GWYLLIM；　house…keeper　at　Brambleton…hall。

I　am　astonished　that　Dr　Lewis　should　take　upon　him　to　give　away
Alderney；　without　my　privity　and　concurrants　　What　signifies　my
brother's　order？　My　brother　is　little　better　than　Noncompush。　He
would　give　away　the　shirt　off　his　back；　and　the　teeth　out　of　his
head；　nay；　as　for　that　matter；　he　would　have　ruinated　the　family
with　his　ridiculous　charities；　if　it　had　not　been　for　my　four
quarters　　What　between　his　willfullness　and　his　waste；　his
trumps；　and　his　frenzy；　I　lead　the　life　of　an　indented　slave。
Alderney　gave　four　gallons　a…day；　ever　since　the　calf　was　sent　to
market。　There　is　so　much　milk　out　of　my　dairy；　and　the　press　must
stand　still：　but　I　won't　loose　a　cheese　pairing；　and　the　milk
shall　be　made　good；　if　the　sarvents　should　go　without　butter。　If
they　must　needs　have　butter；　let　them　make　it　of　sheep's　milk；
but　then　my　wool　will　suffer　for　want　of　grace；　so　that　I　must　be
a　loser　on　all　sides。　Well；　patience　is　like　a　stout　Welsh　poney；
it　bears　a　great　deal；　and　trots　a　great　way；　but　it　will　tire　at
the　long　run。　Before　its　long；　perhaps　I　may　shew　Matt；　that　I
was　not　born　to　be　the　household　drudge　to　my　dying　day　　Gwyn
rites　from　Crickhowel；　that　the　price　of　flannel　is　fallen　three…
farthings　an　ell；　and　that's　another　good　penny　out　of　my　pocket。
When　I　go　to　market　to　sell；　my　commodity　stinks；　but　when　I　want
to　buy　the　commonest　thing；　the　owner　pricks　it　up　under　my　nose；
and　it　can't　be　had　for　love　nor　money　　I　think　everything　runs
cross　at　Brambleton…hall　　You　say　the　gander　has　broke　the　eggs；
which　is　a　phinumenon　I　don't　understand：　for　when　the　fox
carried　off　the　old　goose　last　year；　he　took　her　place；　and
hatched　the　eggs；　and　partected　the　goslings　like　a　tender
parent　　Then　you　tell　me　the　thunder　has　soured　two　barrels　of
beer　in　the　seller。　But　how　the　thunder　should　get　there；　when
the　seller　was　double…locked；　I　can't　comprehend。　Howsomever；　I
won't　have　the　beer　thrown　out；　till　I　see　it　with　my　own　eyes。
Perhaps；　it　will　recover　　At　least　it　will　serve　for　vinegar　to
the　servants。　　You　may　leave　off　the　fires　in　my　brother's
chamber　and　mine；　as　it　is　unsartain　when　we　return。　　I　hope；
Gwyllim；　you'll　take　care　there　is　no　waste；　and　have　an　eye　to
the　maids；　and　keep　them　to　their　spinning。　I　think　they　may　go
very　well　without　beer　in　hot　weather　　it　serves　only　to　inflame
the　blood；　and　set　them　a…gog　after　the　men。　Water　will　make　them
fair　and　keep　them　cool　and　tamperit。　Don't　forget　to　put　up　in
the　portmantel；　that　cums　with　Williams；　along　with　my　riding…habit；
hat；　and　feather；　the　viol　of　purl　water；　and　the　tincktur
for　my　stomach；　being　as　how　I　am　much　troubled　with
flutterencies。　This　is　all　at　present；　from

Yours；
TABITHA　BRAMBLE
BATH；　April　26。



To　Dr　LEWIS。

DEAR　DICK；

I　have　done　with　the　waters；　therefore　your　advice　comes　a　day
too　late　I　grant　that　physic　is　no　mystery　of　your　making。　I　know
it　is　a　mystery　in　its　own　nature；　and；　like　other　mysteries；
requires　a　strong　gulp　of　faith　to　make　it　go　down　　Two　days　ago；
I　went　into　the　King's　Bath；　by　the　advice　of　our　friend
Ch；　in　order　to　clear　the　strainer　of　the　skin；　for　the　benefit
of　a　free　perspiration；　and　the　first　object　that　saluted　my　eye；
was　a　child　full　of　scrophulous　ulcers；　carried　in　the　arms　of
one　of　the　guides；　under　the　very　noses　of　the　bathers。　I　was　so
shocked　at　the　sight；　that　I　retired　immediately　with　indignation
and　disgust　　Suppose　the　matter　of　those　ulcers；　floating　on　the
water；　comes　in　contact　with　my　skin；　when　the　pores　are　all
open；　I　would　ask　you　what　must　be　the　consequence？　　Good
Heaven；　the　very　thought　makes　my　blood　run　cold！　we　know　not
what　sores　may　be　running　into　the　water　while　we　are　bathing；
and　what　sort　of　matter　we　may　thus　imbibe；　the　king's…evil；　the
scurvy；　the　cancer；　and　the　pox；　and；　no　doubt；　the　heat　will
render　the　virus　the　more　volatile　and　penetrating。　To　purify
myself　from　all　such　contamination；　I　went　to　the　duke　of
Kingston's　private　Bath；　and　there　I　was　almost　suffocated　for
want　of　free　air；　the　place　was　so　small；　and　the　steam　so
stifling。

After　all；　if　the　intention　is　no　more　than　to　wash　the　skin；　I
am　convinced　that　simple　element　is　more　effectual　than　any　water
impregnated　with　salt　and　iron；　which；　being　astringent；　will
certainly　contract　the　pores；　and　leave　a　kind　of　crust　upon　the
surface　of　the　body。　But　I　am　now　as　much　afraid　of　drinking；　as
of　bathing；　for；　after　a　long　conversation　with　the　Doctor；　about
the　construction　of　the　pump　and　the　cistern；　it　is　very　far　from
being　clear　with　me；　that　the　patients　in　the　Pump…room　don't
swallow　the　scourings　of　the　bathers。　I　can't　help　suspecting；
that　there　is；　or　may　be；　some　regurgitation　from　the　bath　into
the　cistern　of　the　pump。　In　that　case；　what　a　delicate　beveridge
is　every　day　quaffed　by　the　drinkers；　medicated　with　the　swe