adventures and letters-第77章

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so　sad。　　I　love　you　so；　and　I　will　miss　you　so。　　I　want　you　to　keep　saying　to　yourself　all　the　time；　〃This　is　the　most　serious　effort　he　ever　made；　because　the　chances　of　seeing　anything　are　so　SMALL；　and　because　never　had　he　such　a　chance　to　HELP。　　But；　all　the　time；　every　minute　he　thinks　of　me。　　He　wants　me。　　He　misses　my　voice；　my　eyes；　my　presence　at　his　side　when　he　walks　or　sleeps。　　He　never　loved　me　so　greatly；　or　at　leaving　me　was　so　unhappy　as　he　is　now。〃

Goodby；　dear　heart。　　My　God…given　one！　　Would　it　not　be　wonderful；　if　tonight　when　I　am　up　among　the　boats　on　the　top　deck　that　girl　in　the　Pierrot　suit；　and　in　her　arms　Hope；　came；　and　I　took　them　and　held　them　both？　　You　will　walk　with　her　at　five；　and　I　will　walk　and　think　of　you　and　love　you　and　long　for　you。

God　keep　you；　dearest　of　wives；　and　mothers。

RICHARD。


October　24。　MY　DEAR　DAUGHTER：

So　many　weeks　have　passed　since　I　saw　you　that　by　now　you　are　able　to　read　this　without　your　mother　looking　over　your　shoulder　and　helping　you　with　the　big　words。　　I　have　six　sets　of　pictures　of　you。　　Every　day　I　take　them　down　and　change　them。　　Those　your　dear　mother　put　in　glass　frames　I　do　not　change。　　Also；　I　have　all　the　sweet　fruits　and　chocolates　and　red　bananas。　　How　good　of　you　to　think　of　just　the　things　your　father　likes。　　Some　of　them　I　gave　to　a　little　boy　and　girl。　　I　play　with　them　because　soon　my　daughter　will　be　as　big。　　They　have　no　mother　like　you；　OF　COURSE；　they　have　no　mother　like　YOURSfor　except　my　mother　there　never　was　a　mother　like　yours；　so　loving；　so　tender；　so　unselfish　and　thoughtful。　　If　she　is　reading　this；　kiss　her　for　me。　　These　little　children　have　a　little　father。　　He　dresses　them　and　bathes　them　himself。　　He　is　afraid　of　the　cold；　and　sits　in　the　sun；　and　coughs　and　shivers。　　His　children　and　I　play　hide…and…seek；　and；　as　you　will　know　some　day；　for　that　game　there　is　no　such　place　as　a　steamer；　with　boats　and　ventilators　and　masts　and　alleyways。　　Some　day　we　will　play　that　game　hiding　behind　the　rocks　and　trees　and　rose　bushes。　　Every　day　I　watch　the　sun　set；　and　know　that　you　and　your　pretty　mother　are　watching　it；　too。　　And　all　day　I　think　of　you　both。

Be　very　good。　　Do　not　bump　yourself。　　Do　not　eat　matches。　　Do　not　play　with　scissors　or　cats。　　Do　not　forget　your　dad。　　Sleep　when　your　mother　wishes　it。　　Love　us　both。　　Try　to　know　how　we　love　you。　　THAT　you　will　never　learn。　　Good…night　and　God　keep　you；　and　bless　you。

YOUR　DAD。


PARIS；　November　1。　DEAREST　ONE：

Today　is　〃moving〃　day；　and　I　feel　like　　censored　word；　at　the　thought　of　your　having　the　moving　to　direct　and　manage　by　yourself。　　I　can　picture　Barney　and　Burke　loading；　and　unloading；　and　coal　and　wood　being　stored；　and　provisions　and　ice；　and　finally　Hope　brought　down　to　take　her　thirdnofourth　motor　ride。　　And　God　will　see　she　makes　it　all　safely；　and　that　in　her　new　house　you　are　comfortable。

Last　night　I　dreamed　about　Hope　and　you；　a　long　dream；　and　it　made　me　so　happy。　　Something　happened　today　that　you　will　like　to　hear。　　When　the　war　came　the　French　students　at　the　Beaux　Arts　had　to　go　to　fight。　　The　wives　and　children　had　nothing　to　live　on。　　So；　the　American　students；　about　a　dozen　of　them；　organized　a　relief　league。　　The　Beaux　Arts　is　in　a　most　wonderful　palace　built　by　Cardinal　Richelieu　and　decorated　later　by　Napoleon。　　In　this　they　were　gathering　socks；　asphyxiating　masks；　warm　clothes。　　They　were　hand　painting　postcards　for　fifty　cents　apiece。　　The　〃masters〃　as　they　call　their　teachers；　also　were　painting　them。　　I　gave　them　some　money　which　was　received　politely；　but；　as　it　would　not　go　far；　without　much　enthusiasm。　　As　I　was　going；　I　said；　〃I'll　be　back　tomorrow　to　get　some　facts　and　I'll　write　a　story　about　what　you're　doing。〃　　This　is　the　part　that　is　embarrassing　to　write；　but　you　will　understand。　　They　gave　a　cheer　and　a　yell　just　as　though　I　had　said；　〃Peace　is　declared〃　or　〃I　will　give　you　Carnegie's　fortune。〃　　And　they　danced　around；　and　shook　hands；　and　Whitney　Warren；　who　is　at　the　head　of　it；　all　but　cried。　　Later；　he　told　me　the　letter　I　had　written　for　his　wife's　fund　for　orphans　by　the　war　had　brought　in　5000；　that　was　why　they　were　so　pleased。　　So　we；　you　and　I；　will　try　to　look　at　it　that　way；　and　try　to　believe　that　from　this　separation；　which　is　cruel　for　us；　others　may　get　some　benefit。　　Tomorrow；　I　am　to　be　received　at　the　Elysee　by　the　President；　and　I　am　going　to　try　to　make　him　say　something　that　will　draw　money　from　America　for　the　French　hospitals。　　If　he　will　only　ask；　I　know　our　people　will　give。　　In　a　day　or　two；　I　think　I　will　be　allowed　to　see　something；　but；　that　you　will　know　best　by　reading　The　Times。

Your　loving　husband　is　lonely　for　you；　and　so　it　will　be　always。

RICHARD。


November　17th。　DEAR　SWEETHEART：

My　last　letter　was　such　a　complaining　one　that　I　am　ashamed。　　But；　not　leaving　me　to　decide　what　was　best　for　the　papers；　made　me　mad。　　Since　I　wrote；　I　ought　to　be　madder；　for　I　have　been　to　the　trenches　outside　of　Rheims　in　Champagne；　and；　had　they　not　deviled　the　spirit　out　of　me　with　cables；　I　believe　I　could　have　written　such　a　lot　of　stories　of　France　that　no　one　else　has　had　the　opportunity　to　write。　　Believe　me　no　one　has　yet　told　the　story　of　the　trench　war。　　Anyway；　in　spite　of　all　the　photographs　and　articles；　to　me　it　was　all　new。　　I　was　allowed　to　go　alone；　and　given　carte　blanche　to　see　whatever　I　wished。　　I　saw　everything；　but　it　would　not　be　possible　to　write　of　it　yet。　　It　was　wonderful。　　I　was　in　the　three　lines；　reaching　the　FIRST　line　by　moonlight。　　No　one　spoke　above　a　whisper。　　The　Germans　were　only　300　to　400　yards　distant。　　But　worst　of　all　were　the　rats。　　They　ran　over　my　feet　and　I　was　a　darned　sight　more　afraid　of　them　than　the　Germans。　　I　saw　the　Cathedral；　and　the　only　hotel　open　（from　which　I　sent　you　and　Hope　a　postal）　was　the　same　one　in　which　we　stopped　a　year　ago。　　I　had　sent　the　hotel　my　book　in　which　I　said　complimentary　things；　and　I　got　a　great　welcome。　　They　even　gave　me　a　room　with　a　fire　in　it；　and　so　I　was　warm　for　the　first　time　since　I　left　the　Crossroads。　　And　this　morning　it　SNOWED。　　On　my　way　back　to　Paris；　I　stopped　to　tell　the　General　what　I　had　seen　and　to　thank　him。　　He　said；　〃Oh；　that　is　nothing。　　When　you　return；　I　will　take　you　out　myself；　and　I　will　show　you　something　worth　while。〃　　I　am　going　to　carry　a　rat…trap；　and　two　terriers　on　a　leash。　　Tonight；　when　I　got　back；　there　was　a　letter　from　you；　but　no　writing；　but　there　was　a　photo　of　Her；　and　me　holding　her。　　How　is　it　possible　that　any　living　thing　is　so　beautiful　as　my　child？　　How　fat；　and　wonderful；　and　dear；　and　lovable；　and　how　terribly　I　want　to　hold　her　as　I　am　holding　her　in　the　picture；　and　how　much　better　as　I　really　don't　need　my　left　arm　to　hold　such　a　mite）；　if　I　had　you　close　to　me　in　it。　　I　miss　you　so；　and　love　you　so！　　I　told　Wheeler　before　I　left　as　I　was　not　going　to　waste　time　traveling　I　would　not　go　to　Servia。　　So；　as　soon　as　I　arrived；　I　was　fretted　with　cables　to　go。　　I　cabled　to　stop　giving　me　advice；　that　I　had　a　much　better　chance　in　France　than　anyone　could　have　anywhere　else。　　Maybe；　before　I　arrive；　the　Greeks　will　have　joined　the　Germans；　in　which　case；　I　WON'T　LEAVE　THE　SHIP。　　I'll　come　straight　back　on　her　to　the　Allies。

RICHARD。


November　20th。

This　is　the　way　Hope's　cat　looks；　〃My　whiskers！〃　she　says；　〃I　never　knew　I　was　to　be　let　in　for　anything　like　this！〃　　When　I　told　her　about　the　big　rats　in　the　trenches　she　wanted　to　go　with　me　next　time；　but；　today　when　I　told　her　that　the　Crown　Prince　of　Servia　made　his　servants　eat　live　mice　（he　is　no　longer　Crown　Prince）；　she　looked　just　as　she　does　in　the　picture。　　〃Then；　what　do　_I_　eat　in　Servia？〃　she　said；　and　I　told　her　both　of　us　would　live　on　goat's　milk。

You　will　be　glad　when　I　tell　you　I　have　been；　warm。　　We　came　pretty　far　south　in　two　days；　and；　the　damp　chill　of　Paris　is　gone。　　On　the　train　a　funny　thing　happened。　　An　English　officer　and　I　got　talking　and　he　was　press　censor　at　Salonica　where　I　am　going　after　Athens。　　I　asked　him　to　look　over　the　many　letters　I　had　and　tell　me　if　any　of　them　would　be　likely　to　get　me　in　bad；　being　addressed　to　pro…Germans；　for　example。　　　　He　said；