50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第6章
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〃Your riches know no kind of pause； Your trade is fast advancing； You
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
His mania soon got noised about And into all the papers； His size
increased beyond a doubt For all his reckless capers： It may seem singular
to you； But all his friends admit it true … The more he found His figure
round； The more he cut his capers。
His bulk increased … no matter that … He tried the more to toss it … He
never spoke of it as 〃fat；〃 But 〃adipose deposit。〃 Upon my word； it seems
to me Unpardonable vanity （And worse than that） To call your fat An
〃adipose deposit。〃
At length his brawny knees gave way； And on the carpet sinking； Upon
his shapeless back he lay And kicked away like winking。 Instead of seeing
in his state The finger of unswerving Fate； He laboured still To work his
will； And kicked away like winking。
His friends； disgusted with him now； Away in silence wended … I
hardly like to tell you how This dreadful story ended。 The shocking sequel
to impart； I must employ the limner's art … If you would know； This sketch
will show How his exertions ended。
MORAL。
I hate to preach … I hate to prate … … I'm no fanatic croaker； But learn
contentment from the fate Of this East India broker。 He'd everything a man
of taste Could ever want； except a waist； And discontent His size anent；
And bootless perseverance blind； Completely wrecked the peace of mind
Of this East India broker。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
E
〃SUPER〃 TO HIS MASK。
VAST empty shell！ Impertinent； preposterous abortion！ With vacant
stare； And ragged hair； And every feature out of all proportion！
Embodiment of echoing inanity！ Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！ I ring thy knell！
To…night thou diest； Beast that destroy'st my heaven…born identity！
Nine weeks of nights； Before the lights； Swamped in thine own
preposterous nonentity； I've been ill…treated； cursed； and thrashed diurnally；
Credited for the smile you wear externally … I feel disposed to smash thy
face； infernally； As there thou liest！
I've been thy brain： I'VE been the brain that lit thy dull concavity！ The
human race Invest MY face With thine expression of unchecked depravity；
Invested with a ghastly reciprocity； I'VE been responsible for thy
monstrosity； I； for thy wanton； blundering ferocity … But not again！
'T is time to toll Thy knell； and that of follies pantomimical： A nine
weeks' run； And thou hast done All thou canst do to make thyself inimical。
Adieu； embodiment of all inanity！ Excellent type of simpering insanity！
Unwieldy； clumsy nightmare of humanity！ Freed is thy soul！
（THE MASK RESPONDETH。）
Oh！ master mine； Look thou within thee； ere again ill…using me。 Art
thou aware Of nothing there Which might abuse thee； as thou art abusing
me？ A brain that mourns THINE unredeemed rascality？ A soul that weeps
at THY threadbare morality？ Both grieving that THEIR individuality Is
merged in thine？
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
O'ER unreclaimed suburban clays Some years ago were hobblin' An
elderly ghost of easy ways； And an influential goblin。 The ghost was a
sombre spectral shape； A fine old five…act fogy； The goblin imp； a lithe
young ape； A fine low…comedy bogy。
And as they exercised their joints； Promoting quick digestion； They
talked on several curious points； And raised this delicate question： 〃Which
of us two is Number One … The ghostie； or the goblin？〃 And o'er the point
they raised in fun They fairly fell a…squabblin'。
They'd barely speak； and each； in fine； Grew more and more reflective：
Each thought his own particular line By chalks the more effective。 At
length they settled some one should By each of them be haunted； And so
arrange that either could Exert his prowess vaunted。
〃The Quaint against the Statuesque〃 … By competition lawful … The
goblin backed the Quaint Grotesque； The ghost the Grandly Awful。 〃Now；〃
said the goblin； 〃here's my plan … In attitude commanding； I see a stalwart
Englishman By yonder tailor's standing。
〃The very fittest man on earth My influence to try on … Of gentle；
p'r'aps of noble birth； And dauntless as a lion！ Now wrap yourself within
your shroud … Remain in easy hearing … Observe … you'll hear him scream
aloud When I begin appearing！
The imp with yell unearthly … wild … Threw off his dark enclosure： His
dauntless victim looked and smiled With singular composure。 For hours he
tried to daunt the youth； For days； indeed； but vainly … The stripling smiled！
… to tell the truth； The stripling smiled inanely。
For weeks the goblin weird and wild； That noble stripling haunted； For
weeks the stripling stood and smiled； Unmoved and all undaunted。 The
sombre ghost exclaimed； 〃Your plan Has failed you； goblin； plainly： Now
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃These are the men who chase the roe； Whose footsteps never falter；
Who bring with them； where'er they go； A smack of old SIR WALTER。 Of
such as he； the men sublime Who lead their troops victorious； Whose
deeds go down to after…time； Enshrined in annals glorious！
〃Of such as he the bard has said 'Hech thrawfu' raltie rorkie！ Wi' thecht
ta' croonie clapperhead And fash' wi' unco pawkie！' He'll faint away when
I appear； Upon his native heather； Or p'r'aps he'll only scream with fear； Or
p'r'aps the two together。〃
The spectre showed himself； alone； To do his ghostly battling； With
curdling groan and dismal moan； And lots of chains a…rattling！ But no … the
chiel's stout Gaelic stuff Withstood all ghostly harrying； His fingers closed
upon the snuff Which upwards he was carrying。
For days that ghost declined to stir； A foggy shapeless giant … For
weeks that splendid officer Stared back again defiant。 Just as the
Englishman returned The goblin's vulgar staring； Just so the Scotchman
boldly spurned The ghost's unmannered scaring。
For several years the ghostly twain These Britons bold have haunted；
But all their efforts are in vain … Their victims stand undaunted。 This very
day the imp； and ghost； Whose powers the imp derided； Stand each at his
allotted post … The bet is undecided。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
A BISHOP once … I will not name his see … Annoyed his clergy in the
mode conventional； From pulpit shackles never set them free； And found a
sin where sin was unintentional。 All pleasures ended in abuse auricular The
Bishop was so terribly particular。
Though； on the whole； a wise and upright man； He sought to make of
human pleasures clearances； And form his priests on that much…lauded
plan Which pays undue attention to appearances。 He couldn't do good
deeds without a psalm in 'em； Although； in truth； he bore away the palm in
'em。
Enraged to find a deacon at a dance； Or catch a curate at some mild
frivolity； He sought by open censure to enhance Their dread of joining
harmless social jollity。 Yet he enjoyed （a fact of notoriety） The ordinary
pleasures of society。
One evening； sitting at a pantomime （Forbidden treat to those who
stood in fear of him）； Roaring at jokes； SANS metre； sense； or rhyme； He
turned； and saw immediately in rear of him； His peace of mind upsetting；
and annoying it； A curate； also heartily enjoying it。
Again； 't was Christmas Eve； and to enhance His children's pleasure in
their harmless rollicking； He； like a good old fellow； stood to dance； When
something checked the current of his frolicking： That curate； with a maid
he treated lover…ly； Stood up and figured with him in the 〃Coverley！〃
Once； yielding to an universal choice （The company's demand was an
emphatic one； For the old Bishop had a glorious voice）； In a quartet he
joined … a
