50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第18章
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sight！〃
A well…bred fairy （so I've heard） Is always faithful to her word： Old
PETER vanished like a shot； Put then …HIS SUIT OF CLOTHES DID
NOT！
For when conferred the fairy slim Invisibility on HIM； She popped
away on fairy wings； Without referring to his 〃things。〃
So there remained a coat of blue； A vest and double eyeglass too； His
tail； his shoes； his socks as well； His pair of … no； I must not tell。
Old MRS。 PETER soon began To see the failure of his plan； And then
resolved （I quote the Bard） To 〃hoist him with his own petard。〃
Old PETER woke next day and dressed； Put on his coat； and shoes；
and vest； His shirt and stock； BUT COULD NOT FIND HIS ONLY PAIR
OF … never mind！
Old PETER was a decent man； And though he twigged his lady's plan；
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃Dear MRS。 P。； my only joy；〃 Exclaimed the horrified old boy； 〃Now；
give them up； I beg of you … You know what I'm referring to！〃
But no； the cross old lady swore She'd keep his … what I said before To
make him publicly absurd； And MRS。 PETER kept her word。
The poor old fellow had no rest； His coat； his stick； his shoes； his vest；
Were all that now met mortal eye … The rest； invisibility！
〃Now； madam； give them up； I beg … I've had rheumatics in my leg；
Besides； until you do； it's plain I cannot come to sight again！
〃For though some mirth it might afford To see my clothes without their
lord； Yet there would rise indignant oaths If he were seen without his
clothes！〃
But no； resolved to have her quiz； The lady held her own … and his And
PETER left his humble cot To find a pair of … you know what。
But … here's the worst of the affair … Whene'er he came across a pair
Already placed for him to don； He was too stout to get them on！
So he resolved at once to train； And walked and walked with all his
main； For years he paced this mortal earth； To bring himself to decent
girth。
At night； when all around is still； You'll find him pounding up a hill；
And shrieking peasants whom he meets； Fall down in terror on the peats！
Old PETER walks through wind and rain； Resolved to train； and train；
and train； Until he weighs twelve stone' or so … And when he does； I'll let
you know。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
C
SELVAGEE。
PERHAPS already you may know SIR BLENNERHASSET
PORTICO？ A Captain in the Navy； he … A Baronet and K。C。B。 You do？ I
thought so！ It was that Captain's favourite whim （A notion not confined to
him） That RODNEY was the greatest tar Who ever wielded capstan…bar。
He had been taught so。
〃BENBOW！ CORNWALLIS！ HOOD！ … Belay！ Compared with
RODNEY〃 … he would say … 〃No other tar is worth a rap！ The great LORD
RODNEY was the chap The French to polish！ 〃Though； mind you； I
respect LORD HOOD； CORNWALLIS； too； was rather good； BENBOW
could enemies repel； LORD NELSON； too； was pretty well … That is； tollol…
ish！〃
SIR BLENNERHASSET spent his days In learning RODNEY'S little
ways； And closely imitated； too； His mode of talking to his crew … His port
and paces。 An ancient tar he tried to catch Who'd served in RODNEY'S
famous batch； But since his time long years have fled； And RODNEY'S
tars are mostly dead： EHEU FUGACES！
But after searching near and far； At last he found an ancient tar Who
served with RODNEY and his crew Against the French in 'Eighty…two；
（That gained the peerage）。 He gave him fifty pounds a year； His rum； his
baccy； and his beer； And had a comfortable den Rigged up in what； by
merchantmen； Is called the steerage。
〃Now； JASPER〃 … 't was that sailor's name …〃Don't fear that you'll
incur my blame By saying； when it seems to you； That there is anything I
do That RODNEY wouldn't。〃 The ancient sailor turned his quid； Prepared
to do as he was bid： 〃Ay； ay； yer honour； to begin； You've done away with
'swifting in' … Well； sir； you shouldn't！
〃Upon your spars I see you've clapped Peak halliard blocks； all iron…
capped。 I would not christen that a crime； But 'twas not done in
RODNEY'S time。 It looks half…witted！ Upon your maintop…stay； I see； You
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃And RODNEY； honoured sir； would grin To see you turning deadeyes
in； Not UP； as in the ancient way； But downwards； like a cutter's stay … You
didn't oughter； Besides； in seizing shrouds on board； Breast backstays you
have quite ignored； Great RODNEY kept unto the last Breast backstays on
topgallant mast … They make it tauter。〃
SIR BLENNERHASSET 〃swifted in；〃 Turned deadeyes up； and lent a
fin To strip （as told by JASPER KNOX） The iron capping from his blocks；
Where there was any。 SIR BLENNERHASSET does away； With selvagees
from maintop…stay； And though it makes his sailors stare； He rigs breast
backstays everywhere … In fact； too many。
One morning； when the saucy craft Lay calmed； old JASPER toddled
aft。 〃My mind misgives me； sir； that we Were wrong about that selvagee I
should restore it。〃 〃Good；〃 said the Captain； and that day Restored it to
the maintop…stay。 Well…practised sailors often make A much more serious
mistake； And then ignore it。
Next day old JASPER came once more： 〃I think； sir； I was right
before。〃 Well； up the mast the sailors skipped； The selvagee was soon
unshipped； And all were merry。 Again a day； and JASPER came： 〃I p'r'aps
deserve your honour's blame； I can't make up my mind；〃 said he； 〃About
that cursed selvagee … It's foolish … very。
〃On Monday night I could have sworn That maintop…stay it should
adorn； On Tuesday morning I could swear That selvagee should not be
there。 The knot's a rasper！〃 〃Oh； you be hanged；〃 said CAPTAIN P。； 〃Here；
go ashore at Caribbee。 Get out … good bye … shove off … all right！〃 Old
JASPER soon was out of sight … Farewell； old JASPER！
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃COME； collar this bad man … Around the throat he knotted me Till I
to choke began … In point of fact； garotted me！〃
So spake SIR HERBERT WRITE To JAMES； Policeman Thirty…two All
ruffled with his fight SIR HERBERT was； and dirty too。
Policeman nothing said （Though he had much to say on it）； But from
the bad man's head He took the cap that lay on it。
〃No； great SIR HERBERT WHITE … Impossible to take him up。 This
man is honest quite … Wherever did you rake him up？
〃For Burglars； Thieves； and Co。； Indeed； I'm no apologist； But I； some
years ago； Assisted a Phrenologist。
〃Observe his various bumps； His head as I uncover it： His morals lie in
lumps All round about and over it。〃
〃Now take him；〃 said SIR WHITE； 〃Or you will soon be rueing it；
Bless me！ I must be right； … I caught the fellow doing it！〃
Policeman calmly smiled； 〃Indeed you are mistaken； sir； You're
agitated … riled … And very badly shaken； sir。
〃Sit down； and I'll explain My system of Phrenology； A second； please；
remain〃 … （A second is horology）。
Policeman left his beat … （The Bart。； no longer furious； Sat down upon
a seat； Observing； 〃This is curious！〃）
〃Oh； surely； here are signs Should soften your rigidity： This gentleman
combines Politeness with timidity。
〃Of Shyness here's a lump … A hole for Animosity … And like my fist
his bump Of Impecuniosity。
〃Just here the bump appears Of Innocent Hilarity； And just behind his
ears Are Faith； and Hope； and Charity。
He of true Christian ways As bright example sent us is … This maxim
he obeys； 'SORTE TUA CONTENTUS SIS。'
〃There； let him go his ways； He needs no stern admonishing。〃 The
Bart。； in blank amaze； Exclaimed； 〃This is astonishing！
〃I MUST have made a mull； This matter I've been blind in it： Examine；
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
That Crusher looked； and said； With unimpaired urbanity； 〃SIR
HERBERT； you've a head That teem
