50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第16章
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only good men do； in fact； What we should think a dirty act。
But strangest of these social twirls； The girls are boys …the boys are
girls！ The men are women； too … but then； PER CONTRA； women all are
men。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
With them； as surely as can be； A sailor should be sick at sea； And not
a passenger may sail Who cannot smoke right through a gale。
A soldier （save by rarest luck） Is always shot for showing pluck （That
is； if others can be found With pluck enough to fire a round）。
〃How strange！〃 I said to one I saw； 〃You quite upset our every law。
However can you get along So systematically wrong？〃
〃Dear me！〃 my mad informant said； 〃Have you no eyes within your
head？ You sneer when you your hat should doff： Why； we begin where
you leave off！
〃Your wisest men are very far Less learned than our babies are！〃 I
mused awhile … and then； oh me！ I framed this brilliant repartee：
〃Although your babes are wiser far Than our most valued sages are；
Your sages； with their toys and cots； Are duller than our idiots！〃
But this remark； I grieve to state； Came just a little bit too late For as I
framed it in my head； I woke and found myself in bed。
Still I could wish that； 'stead of here； My lot were in that favoured
sphere！ … Where greatest fools bear off the bell I ought to do extremely
well。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
TI…
FOO AGAIN。
I OFTEN wonder whether you Think sometimes of that Bishop； who
From black but balmy Rum…ti…Foo Last summer twelvemonth came。 Unto
your mind I p'r'aps may bring Remembrance of the man I sing To…day； by
simply mentioning That PETER was his name。
Remember how that holy man Came with the great Colonial clan To
Synod； called Pan…Anglican； And kindly recollect How； having crossed the
ocean wide； To please his flock all means he tried Consistent with a proper
pride And manly self…respect。
He only； of the reverend pack Who minister to Christians black；
Brought any useful knowledge back To his Colonial fold。 In consequence
a place I claim For 〃PETER〃 on the scroll of Fame （For PETER was that
Bishop's name； As I've already told）。
He carried Art； he often said； To places where that timid maid （Save by
Colonial Bishops' aid） Could never hope to roam。 The Payne…cum…Lauri
feat he taught As he had learnt it； for he thought The choicest fruits of
Progress ought To bless the Negro's home。
And he had other work to do； For； while he tossed upon the Blue； The
islanders of Rum…ti…Foo Forgot their kindly friend。 Their decent clothes
they learnt to tear … They learnt to say； 〃I do not care；〃 Though they； of
course； were well aware How folks； who say so； end。
Some sailors； whom he did not know； Had landed there not long ago；
And taught them 〃Bother！〃 also； 〃Blow！〃 （Of wickedness the germs）。 No
need to use a casuist's pen To prove that they were merchantmen； No
sailor of the Royal N。 Would use such awful terms。
And so； when BISHOP PETER came （That was the kindly Bishop's
name）； He heard these dreadful oaths with shame； And chid their want of
dress。 （Except a shell … a bangle rare … A feather here … a feather there The
South Pacific Negroes wear Their native nothingness。）
He taught them that a Bishop loathes To listen to disgraceful oaths； He
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
The Bishop's eyes with water fill； Quite overjoyed to find them still
Obedient to his sovereign will； And said； 〃Good Rum…ti…Foo！ Half…way I'll
meet you； I declare： I'll dress myself in cowries rare； And fasten feathers in
my hair； And dance the 'Cutch…chi…boo！'〃 （13）
And to conciliate his See He married PICCADILLILLEE； The
youngest of his twenty…three； Tall … neither fat nor thin。 （And though the
dress he made her don Looks awkwardly a girl upon； It was a great
improvement on The one he found her in。）
The Bishop in his gay canoe （His wife； of course； went with him too）
To some adjacent island flew； To spend his honeymoon。 Some day in
sunny Rum…ti…Foo A little PETER'll be on view； And that （if people tell
me true） Is like to happen soon。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
AN actor … GIBBS； of Drury Lane … Of very decent station； Once
happened in a part to gain Excessive approbation： It sometimes turns a
fellow's brain And makes him singularly vain When he believes that he
receives Tremendous approbation。
His great success half drove him mad； But no one seemed to mind him；
Well； in another piece he had Another part assigned him。 This part was
smaller； by a bit； Than that in which he made a hit。 So； much ill…used； he
straight refused To play the part assigned him。
* * * * * * * *
THAT NIGHT THAT ACTOR SLEPT； AND I'LL ATTEMPT TO
TELL YOU OF THE VIVID DREAM HE DREAMT。
THE DREAM。
In fighting with a robber band （A thing he loved sincerely） A sword
struck GIBBS upon the hand； And wounded it severely。 At first he didn't
heed it much； He thought it was a simple touch； But soon he found the
weapon's bound Had wounded him severely。
To Surgeon COBB he made a trip； Who'd just effected featly An
amputation at the hip Particularly neatly。 A rising man was Surgeon COBB
But this extremely ticklish job He had achieved （as he believed）
Particularly neatly。
The actor rang the surgeon's bell。 〃Observe my wounded finger； Be
good enough to strap it well； And prithee do not linger。 That I； dear sir；
may fill again The Theatre Royal Drury Lane： This very night I have to
fight … So prithee do not linger。〃
〃I don't strap fingers up for doles；〃 Replied the haughty surgeon； 〃To
use your cant； I don't play ROLES Utility that verge on。 First amputation nothing
less …That is my line of business： We surgeon nobs despise all
jobs Utility that verge on
〃When in your hip there lurks disease〃 （So dreamt this lively dreamer）；
〃Or devastating CARIES In HUMERUS or FEMUR； If you can pay a
handsome fee； Oh； then you may remember me … With joy elate I'll
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
The disconcerted actor ceased The haughty leech to pester； But when
the wound in size increased； And then began to fester； He sought a learned
Counsel's lair； And told that Counsel； then and there； How COBB'S
neglect of his defect Had made his finger fester。
〃Oh； bring my action； if you please； The case I pray you urge on； And
win me thumping damages From COBB； that haughty surgeon。 He
culpably neglected me Although I proffered him his fee； So pray come
down； in wig and gown； On COBB； that haughty surgeon！〃
That Counsel learned in the laws； With passion almost trembled。 He
just had gained a mighty cause Before the Peers assembled！ Said he； 〃How
dare you have the face To come with Common Jury case To one who
wings rhetoric flings Before the Peers assembled？〃
Dispirited became our friend … Depressed his moral pecker … 〃But stay！
a thought！ …I'll gain my end； And save my poor exchequer。 I won't be
placed upon the shelf； I'll take it into Court myself； And legal lore display
before The Court of the Exchequer。〃
He found a Baron … one of those Who with our laws supply us … In wig
and silken gown and hose； As if at NISI PRIUS。 But he'd just given； off
the reel； A famous judgment on Appeal： It scarce became his heightened
fame To sit at NISI PRIUS。
Our friend began； with easy wit； That half concealed his terror：
〃Pooh！〃 said the Judge； 〃I only sit In BANCO or in Error。 Can you
suppose； my man； that I'd O'er NISI PRIUS Courts preside； Or condescend
my time to spend On anything but Error？〃
〃Too bad；〃 said GIBBS； 〃my case to shirk！ You must be bad innately；
To save your skill for mighty work Because it's valued greatly！〃 But here
he woke； with sudden start。
* * * * * * * *
He
