50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第15章
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further first；〃 MATILDA？
I can't mistake the signs you make； Although you barely speak；
MATILDA； Though pure and young； you thrust your tongue Right in your
pretty cheek； MATILDA！ My dear； I fear I hear you sneer … I do … I'm sure
I do； MATILDA！ With simple grace you make a face； Ejaculating； 〃Ugh！〃
MATILDA。
Oh； pause to think before you drink The dregs of Lethe's cup；
MATILDA！ Remember； do； what I've gone through； Before you give me
up； MATILDA！ Recall again the mental pain Of what I've had to do；
MATILDA！ And be assured that I've endured It； all along of you；
MATILDA！
Do you forget； my blithesome pet； How once with jealous rage；
MATILDA； I watched you walk and gaily talk With some one thrice your
age； MATILDA？ You squatted free upon his knee； A sight that made me
sad； MATILDA！ You pinched his cheek with friendly tweak； Which
almost drove me mad； MATILDA！
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
I've passed a life of toil and strife； And disappointments deep；
MATILDA； I've lain awake with dental ache Until I fell asleep；
MATILDA！ At times again I've missed a train； Or p'rhaps run short of tin；
MATILDA； And worn a boot on corns that shoot； Or； shaving； cut my chin；
MATILDA。
But； oh！ no trains … no dental pains … Believe me when I say；
MATILDA； No corns that shoot … no pinching boot Upon a summer day；
MATILDA … It's my belief； could cause such grief As that I've suffered for；
MATILDA； My having shot in vital spot Your old progenitor； MATILDA。
Bethink you how I've kept the vow I made one winter day； MATILDA
…That； come what could； I never would Remain too long away； MATILDA。
And； oh！ the crimes with which； at times； I've charged my gentle mind；
MATILDA； To keep the vow I made … and now You treat me so unkind；
MATILDA！
For when at sea； off Caribbee； I felt my passion burn； MATILDA； By
passion egged； I went and begged The captain to return； MATILDA。 And
when； my pet； I couldn't get That captain to agree； MATILDA； Right
through a sort of open port I pitched him in the sea； MATILDA！
Remember； too； how all the crew With indignation blind； MATILDA；
Distinctly swore they ne'er before Had thought me so unkind； MATILDA。
And how they'd shun me one by one … An unforgiving group； MATILDA I
stopped their howls and sulky scowls By pizening their soup；
MATILDA！
So pause to think； before you drink The dregs of Lethe's cup；
MATILDA； Remember； do； what I've gone through； Before you give me
up； MATILDA。 Recall again the mental pain Of what I've had to do；
MATILDA； And be assured that I've endured It； all along of you；
MATILDA！
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
N
MAGUS。
A RICH advowson； highly prized； For private sale was advertised；
And many a parson made a bid； The REVEREND SIMON MAGUS did。
He sought the agent's： 〃Agent； I Have come prepared at once to buy （If
your demand is not too big） The Cure of Otium…cum…Digge。〃
〃Ah！〃 said the agent； 〃THERE'S a berth … The snuggest vicarage on
earth； No sort of duty （so I hear）； And fifteen hundred pounds a year！
〃If on the price we should agree； The living soon will vacant be； The
good incumbent's ninety five； And cannot very long survive。
See … here's his photograph … you see； He's in his dotage。〃 〃Ah； dear me！
Poor soul！〃 said SIMON。 〃His decease Would be a merciful release！〃
The agent laughed … the agent blinked … The agent blew his nose and
winked … And poked the parson's ribs in play … It was that agent's vulgar
way。
The REVEREND SIMON frowned： 〃I grieve This light demeanour to
perceive； It's scarcely COMME IL FAUT； I think： Now … pray oblige me do
not wink。
〃Don't dig my waistcoat into holes … Your mission is to sell the souls
Of human sheep and human kids To that divine who highest bids。
〃Do well in this； and on your head Unnumbered honours will be shed。〃
The agent said； 〃Well； truth to tell； I HAVE been doing very well。〃
〃You should；〃 said SIMON； 〃at your age； But now about the parsonage。
How many rooms does it contain？ Show me the photograph again。
〃A poor apostle's humble house Must not be too luxurious； No stately
halls with oaken floor … It should be decent and no more。
〃 No billiard…rooms … no stately trees … No croquet…grounds or
pineries。〃 〃Ah！〃 sighed the agent； 〃very true： This property won't do for
you。〃
〃All these about the house you'll find。〃 …〃Well；〃 said the parson；
〃never mind； I'll manage to submit to these Luxurious superfluities。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃To preach three times on Sabbath days …To wean the lost from
wicked ways … The sick to soothe … the sane to wed … The poor to feed with
meat and bread；
〃These are the various wholesome ways In which I'll spend my nights
and days： My zeal will have no time to cool At croquet； archery； or pool。〃
The agent said； 〃From what I hear； This living will not suit； I fear There
are no poor； no sick at all； For services there is no call。〃
The reverend gent looked grave； 〃Dear me！ Then there is NO 'society'？
… I mean； of course； no sinners there Whose souls will be my special care？〃
The cunning agent shook his head； 〃No； none … except〃 … （the agent
said） … 〃The DUKE OF A。； the EARL OF B。； The MARQUIS C。； and
VISCOUNT D。
〃But you will not be quite alone； For though they've chaplains of their
own； Of course this noble well…bred clan Receive the parish clergyman。〃
〃Oh； silence； sir！〃 said SIMON M。； 〃Dukes … Earls！ What should I care
for them？ These worldly ranks I scorn and flout！〃 〃Of course；〃 the agent
said； 〃no doubt！〃
〃Yet I might show these men of birth The hollowness of rank on
earth。〃 The agent answered； 〃Very true … But I should not； if I were you。〃
〃Who sells this rich advowson； pray？〃 The agent winked … it was his
way … 〃His name is HART； 'twixt me and you； He is； I'm grieved to say； a
Jew！〃
〃A Jew？〃 said SIMON； 〃happy find！ I purchase this advowson； mind。
My life shall be devoted to Converting that unhappy Jew！〃
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
THE other night； from cares exempt； I slept … and what d'you think I
dreamt？ I dreamt that somehow I had come To dwell in Topsy…Turveydom
…
Where vice is virtue …virtue； vice： Where nice is nasty … nasty； nice：
Where right is wrong and wrong is right … Where white is black and black
is white。
Where babies； much to their surprise； Are born astonishingly wise；
With every Science on their lips； And Art at all their finger…tips。
For； as their nurses dandle them They crow binomial theorem； With
views （it seems absurd to us） On differential calculus。
But though a babe； as I have said； Is born with learning in his head； He
must forget it； if he can； Before he calls himself a man。
For that which we call folly here； Is wisdom in that favoured sphere；
The wisdom we so highly prize Is blatant folly in their eyes。
A boy； if he would push his way； Must learn some nonsense every day；
And cut； to carry out this view； His wisdom teeth and wisdom too。
Historians burn their midnight oils； Intent on giant…killers' toils； And
sages close their aged eyes To other sages' lullabies。
Our magistrates； in duty bound； Commit all robbers who are found；
But there the Beaks （so people said） Commit all robberies instead。
Our Judges； pure and wise in tone； Know crime from theory alone；
And glean the motives of a thief From books and popular belief。
But there； a Judge who wants to prime His mind with true ideas of
crime； Derives them from the common sense Of practical experience。
Policemen march all folks away Who practise virtue every day … Of
course； I mean to say； you know； What we call virtue here below。
For only scoundrels dare to do What we consider just and true； And
only good men do； in fact； What we should think a dirty act。
But strangest of these so
