50 bab ballads(50篇巴布歌谣)-第10章
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
OH； listen to the tale of MISTER WILLIAM； if you please； Whom
naughty； naughty judges sent away beyond the seas。 He forged a party's
will； which caused anxiety and strife； Resulting in his getting penal
servitude for life。
He was a kindly goodly man； and naturally prone； Instead of taking
others' gold； to give away his own。 But he had heard of Vice； and longed
for only once to strike … To plan ONE little wickedness … to see what it was
like。
He argued with himself； and said； 〃A spotless man am I； I can't be
more respectable； however hard I try！ For six and thirty years I've always
been as good as gold； And now for half an hour I'll plan infamy untold！
〃A baby who is wicked at the early age of one； And then reforms … and
dies at thirty…six a spotless son； Is never； never saddled with his
babyhood's defect； But earns from worthy men consideration and respect。
〃So one who never revelled in discreditable tricks Until he reached the
comfortable age of thirty…six； May then for half an hour perpetrate a deed
of shame； Without incurring permanent disgrace； or even blame。
〃That babies don't commit such crimes as forgery is true； But little sins
develop； if you leave 'em to accrue； And he who shuns all vices as
successive seasons roll； Should reap at length the benefit of so much self…
control。
〃The common sin of babyhood … objecting to be drest … If you leave it
to accumulate at compound interest； For anything you know； may
represent； if you're alive； A burglary or murder at the age of thirty…five。
〃Still； I wouldn't take advantage of this fact； but be content With some
pardonable folly … it's a mere experiment。 The greater the temptation to go
wrong； the less the sin； So with something that's particularly tempting I'll
begin。
〃I would not steal a penny； for my income's very fair … I do not want a
penny … I have pennies and to spare … And if I stole a penny from a money…
bag or till； The sin would be enormous … the temptation being NIL。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃There's WILSON who is dying … he has wealth from Stock and rent If
I divert his riches from their natural descent； I'm placed in a position to
indulge each little whim。〃 So he diverted them … and they； in turn； diverted
him。
Unfortunately； though； by some unpardonable flaw； Temptation isn't
recognized by Britain's Common Law； Men found him out by some
peculiarity of touch； And WILLIAM got a 〃lifer；〃 which annoyed him
very much。
For； ah！ he never reconciled himself to life in gaol； He fretted and he
pined； and grew dispirited and pale； He was numbered like a cabman； too；
which told upon him so That his spirits； once so buoyant； grew
uncomfortably low。
And sympathetic gaolers would remark； 〃It's very true； He ain't been
brought up common； like the likes of me and you。〃 So they took him into
hospital； and gave him mutton chops； And chocolate； and arrowroot； and
buns； and malt and hops。
Kind Clergymen； besides； grew interested in his fate； Affected by the
details of his pitiable state。 They waited on the Secretary； somewhere in
Whitehall； Who said he would receive them any day they liked to call。
〃Consider； sir； the hardship of this interesting case： A prison life brings
with it something very like disgrace； It's telling on young WILLIAM；
who's reduced to skin and bone … Remember he's a gentleman； with money
of his own。
〃He had an ample income； and of course he stands in need Of sherry
with his dinner； and his customary weed； No delicacies now can pass his
gentlemanly lips … He misses his sea…bathing and his continental trips。
〃He says the other prisoners are commonplace and rude； He says he
cannot relish uncongenial prison food。 When quite a boy they taught him
to distinguish Good from Bad； And other educational advantages he's had。
〃A burglar or garotter； or； indeed； a common thief Is very glad to
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
〃But beef and mutton…broth don't seem to suit our WILLIAM'S whim；
A boon to other prisoners …a punishment to him。 It never was intended
that the discipline of gaol Should dash a convict's spirits； sir； or make him
thin or pale。〃
〃Good Gracious Me！〃 that sympathetic Secretary cried； 〃Suppose in
prison fetters MISTER WILLIAM should have died！ Dear me； of course！
Imprisonment for LIFE his sentence saith： I'm very glad you mentioned it
… it might have been For Death！
〃Release him with a ticket … he'll be better then； no doubt； And tell him
I apologize。〃 So MISTER WILLIAM'S out。 I hope he will be careful in his
manuscripts； I'm sure； And not begin experimentalizing any more。
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
T
WOMAN'S STORY。
I'M old； my dears； and shrivelled with age； and work； and grief； My
eyes are gone； and my teeth have been drawn by Time； the Thief！ For
terrible sights I've seen； and dangers great I've run … I'm nearly seventy
now； and my work is almost done！
Ah！ I've been young in my time； and I've played the deuce with men！
I'm speaking of ten years past … I was barely sixty then： My cheeks were
mellow and soft； and my eyes were large and sweet； POLL PINEAPPLE'S
eyes were the standing toast of the Royal Fleet！
A bumboat woman was I； and I faithfully served the ships With apples
and cakes； and fowls； and beer； and halfpenny dips； And beef for the
generous mess； where the officers dine at nights； And fine fresh
peppermint drops for the rollicking midshipmites。
Of all the kind commanders who anchored in Portsmouth Bay； By far
the sweetest of all was kind LIEUTENANT BELAYE。' LIEUTENANT
BELAYE commanded the gunboat HOT CROSS BUN； She was seven
and thirty feet in length； and she carried a gun。
With a laudable view of enhancing his country's naval pride； When
people inquired her size； LIEUTENANT BELAYE replied； 〃Oh； my ship；
my ship is the first of the Hundred and Seventy… ones！〃 Which meant her
tonnage； but people imagined it meant her guns。
Whenever I went on board he would beckon me down below； 〃Come
down； Little Buttercup； come〃 （for he loved to call me so）； And he'd tell of
the fights at sea in which he'd taken a part； And so LIEUTENANT
BELAYE won poor POLL PINEAPPLE'S heart！
But at length his orders came； and he said one day； said he； 〃I'm
ordered to sail with the HOT CROSS BUN to the German Sea。〃 And the
Portsmouth maidens wept when they learnt the evil day； For every
Portsmouth maid loved good LIEUTENANT BELAYE。
And I went to a back back street； with plenty of cheap cheap shops；
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Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
Fifty 〃Bab〃 Ballads … Much Sound and Little Sense
We sailed that afternoon at the mystic hour of one； … Remarkably nice
young men were the crew of the HOT CROSS BUN； I'm sorry to say that
I've heard that sailors sometimes swear； But I never yet heard a BUN say
anything wrong； I declare。
When Jack Tars meet； they meet with a 〃Messmate； ho！ What cheer？〃
But here； on the HOT CROSS BUN； it was 〃How do you do； my dear？〃
When Jack Tars growl； I believe they growl with a big big D… But the
strongest oath of the HOT CROSS BUNS was a mild 〃Dear me！〃
Yet； though they were all well…bred； you could scarcely call them slick：
Whenever a sea was on； they were all extremely sick； And whenever the
weather was calm； and the wind was light and fair； They spent more time
than a sailor should on his back back hair。
They certainly shivered and shook when ordered aloft to run； And they
screamed when LIEUTENANT BELAYE discharged his only gun。 And as
he was proud of his gun … such pride is hardly wrong … The Lieutenant was
blazing away at intervals all day long。
They all agreed very well； though at times you heard it said That BILL
had a way of his own of making his lips look red … That JOE looked quite
his age … or some
