winesburg,ohio-第34章

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he　gripped　her　shoulders　with　his　strong　hands。　　〃I'll　keep　you　for　good　the　next　time；〃　he　said。　　〃You　might　as　well　make　up　your　mind　to　that。　　It's　you　and　me　for　it　and　I'm　going　to　have　you　before　I　get　through。〃

One　night　in　January　when　there　was　a　new　moon　George　Willard；　who　was　in　Ed　Handby's　mind　the　only　obstacle　to　his　getting　Belle　Carpenter；　went　for　a　walk。　　Early　that　evening　George　went　into　Ransom　Surbeck's　pool　room　with　Seth　Richmond　and　Art　Wilson；　son　of　the　town　butcher。　　Seth　Richmond　stood　with　his　back　against　the　wall　and　remained　silent；　but　George　Willard　talked。　　The　pool　room　was　filled　with　Winesburg　boys　and　they　talked　of　women。　　The　young　reporter　got　into　that　vein。　　He　said　that　women　should　look　out　for　themselves；　that　the　fellow　who　went　out　with　a　girl　was　not　responsible　for　what　happened。　　As　he　talked　he　looked　about；　eager　for　attention。　　He　held　the　floor　for　five　minutes　and　then　Art　Wilson　began　to　talk。　Art　was　learning　the　barber's　trade　in　Cal　Prouse's　shop　and　already　began　to　consider　himself　an　au…　thority　in　such　matters　as　baseball；　horse　racing；　drinking；　and　going　about　with　women。　　He　began　to　tell　of　a　night　when　he　with　two　men　from　Wines…　burg　went　into　a　house　of　prostitution　at　the　county　seat。　　The　butcher's　son　held　a　cigar　in　the　side　of　his　mouth　and　as　he　talked　spat　on　the　floor。　　〃The　women　in　the　place　couldn't　embarrass　me　although　they　tried　hard　enough；〃　he　boasted。　　〃One　of　the　girls　in　the　house　tried　to　get　fresh；　but　I　fooled　her。　As　soon　as　she　began　to　talk　I　went　and　sat　in　her　lap。　　Everyone　in　the　room　laughed　when　I　kissed　her。　　I　taught　her　to　let　me　alone。〃

George　Willard　went　out　of　the　pool　room　and　into　Main　Street。　　For　days　the　weather　had　been　bitter　cold　with　a　high　wind　blowing　down　on　the　town　from　Lake　Erie；　eighteen　miles　to　the　north；　but　on　that　night　the　wind　had　died　away　and　a　new　moon　made　the　night　unusually　lovely。　　With…　out　thinking　where　he　was　going　or　what　he　wanted　to　do；　George　went　out　of　Main　Street　and　began　walking　in　dimly　lighted　streets　filled　with　frame　houses。

Out　of　doors　under　the　black　sky　filled　with　stars　he　forgot　his　companions　of　the　pool　room。　　Because　it　was　dark　and　he　was　alone　he　began　to　talk　aloud。　In　a　spirit　of　play　he　reeled　along　the　street　imitating　a　drunken　man　and　then　imagined　himself　a　soldier　clad　in　shining　boots　that　reached　to　the　knees　and　wearing　a　sword　that　jingled　as　he　walked。　　As　a　soldier　he　pictured　himself　as　an　inspector；　passing　before　a　long　line　of　men　who　stood　at　attention。　He　began　to　examine　the　accoutrements　of　the　men。　Before　a　tree　he　stopped　and　began　to　scold。　　〃Your　pack　is　not　in　order；〃　he　said　sharply。　　〃How　many　times　will　I　have　to　speak　of　this　matter？　Everything　must　be　in　order　here。　　We　have　a　difficult　task　be…　fore　us　and　no　difficult　task　can　be　done　without　order。〃

Hypnotized　by　his　own　words；　the　young　man　stumbled　along　the　board　sidewalk　saying　more　words。　　〃There　is　a　law　for　armies　and　for　men　too；〃　he　muttered；　lost　in　reflection。　　〃The　law　begins　with　little　things　and　spreads　out　until　it　covers　every…　thing。　　In　every　little　thing　there　must　be　order；　in　the　place　where　men　work；　in　their　clothes；　in　their　thoughts。　　I　myself　must　be　orderly。　　I　must　learn　that　law。　　I　must　get　myself　into　touch　with　something　orderly　and　big　that　swings　through　the　night　like　a　star。　　In　my　little　way　I　must　begin　to　learn　some…　thing；　to　give　and　swing　and　work　with　life；　with　the　law。〃

George　Willard　stopped　by　a　picket　fence　near　a　street　lamp　and　his　body　began　to　tremble。　　He　had　never　before　thought　such　thoughts　as　had　just　come　into　his　head　and　he　wondered　where　they　had　come　from。　　For　the　moment　it　seemed　to　him　that　some　voice　outside　of　himself　had　been　talking　as　he　walked。　　He　was　amazed　and　delighted　with　his　own　mind　and　when　he　walked　on　again　spoke　of　the　matter　with　fervor。　　〃To　come　out　of　Ransom　Surbeck's　pool　room　and　think　things　like　that；〃　he　whispered。　　〃It　is　better　to　be　alone。　　If　I　talked　like　Art　Wilson　the　boys　would　understand　me　but　they　wouldn't　understand　what　I've　been　thinking　down　here。〃

In　Winesburg；　as　in　all　Ohio　towns　of　twenty　years　ago；　there　was　a　section　in　which　lived　day　laborers。　　As　the　time　of　factories　had　not　yet　come；　the　laborers　worked　in　the　fields　or　were　section　hands　on　the　railroads。　　They　worked　twelve　hours　a　day　and　received　one　dollar　for　the　long　day　of　toil。　　The　houses　in　which　they　lived　were　small　cheaply　constructed　wooden　affairs　with　a　garden　at　the　back。　　The　more　comfortable　among　them　kept　cows　and　perhaps　a　pig；　housed　in　a　little　shed　at　the　rear　of　the　garden。

With　his　head　filled　with　resounding　thoughts；　George　Willard　walked　into　such　a　street　on　the　clear　January　night。　　The　street　was　dimly　lighted　and　in　places　there　was　no　sidewalk。　　In　the　scene　that　lay　about　him　there　was　something　that　excited　his　al…　ready　aroused　fancy。　　For　a　year　he　had　been　devot…　ing　all　of　his　odd　moments　to　the　reading　of　books　and　now　some　tale　he　had　read　concerning　fife　in　old　world　towns　of　the　middle　ages　came　sharply　back　to　his　mind　so　that　he　stumbled　forward　with　the　curious　feeling　of　one　revisiting　a　place　that　had　been　a　part　of　some　former　existence。　　On　an　impulse　he　turned　out　of　the　street　and　went　into　a　little　dark　alleyway　behind　the　sheds　in　which　lived　the　cows　and　pigs。

For　a　half　hour　he　stayed　in　the　alleyway；　smelling　the　strong　smell　of　animals　too　closely　housed　and　letting　his　mind　play　with　the　strange　new　thoughts　that　came　to　him。　　The　very　rankness　of　the　smell　of　manure　in　the　clear　sweet　air　awoke　something　heady　in　his　brain。　　The　poor　little　houses　lighted　by　kerosene　lamps；　the　smoke　from　the　chimneys　mounting　straight　up　into　the　clear　air；　the　grunting　of　pigs；　the　women　clad　in　cheap　calico　dresses　and　washing　dishes　in　the　kitchens；　the　footsteps　of　men　coming　out　of　the　houses　and　going　off　to　the　stores　and　saloons　of　Main　Street；　the　dogs　barking　and　the　children　cryingall　of　these　things　made　him　seem；　as　he　lurked　in　the　darkness；　oddly　detached　and　apart　from　all　life。

The　excited　young　man；　unable　to　bear　the　weight　of　his　own　thoughts；　began　to　move　cautiously　along　the　alleyway。　　A　dog　attacked　him　and　had　to　be　driven　away　with　stones；　and　a　man　appeared　at　the　door　of　one　of　the　houses　and　swore　at　the　dog。　George　went　into　a　vacant　lot　and　throwing　back　his　head　looked　up　at　the　sky。　　He　felt　unutterably　big　and　remade　by　the　simple　experience　through　which　he　had　been　passing　and　in　a　kind　of　fervor　of　emo…　tion　put　up　his　hands；　thrusting　them　into　the　dark…　ness　above　his　head　and　muttering　words。　　The　desire　to　say　words　overcame　him　and　he　said　words　without　meaning；　rolling　them　over　on　his　tongue　and　saying　them　because　they　were　brave　words；　full　of　meaning。　　〃Death；〃　he　muttered；　night；　the　sea；　fear；　loveliness。〃

George　Willard　came　out　of　the　vacant　lot　and　stood　again　on　the　sidewalk　facing　the　houses。　　He　felt　that　all　of　the　people　in　the　little　street　must　be　brothers　and　sisters　to　him　and　he　wished　he　had　the　courage　to　call　them　out　of　their　houses　and　to　shake　their　hands。　　〃If　there　were　only　a　woman　here　I　would　take　hold　of　her　hand　and　we　would　run　until　we　were　both　tired　out；〃　he　thought。　　〃That　would　make　me　feel　better。〃　With　the　thought　of　a　woman　in　his　mind　he　walked　out　of　the　street　and　went　toward　the　house　where　Belle　Carpenter　lived。　He　thought　she　would　understand　his　mood　and　that　he　could　achieve　in　her　presence　a　position　he　had　long　been　wanting　to　achieve。　　In　the　past　when　he　had　been　with　her　and　had　kissed　her　lips　he　had　come　away　filled　with　anger　at　himself。　　He　had　felt　like　one　being　used　for　some　obscure　purpose　and　had　not　enjoyed　the　feeling。　　Now　he　thought　he　had　suddenly　become　too　big　to　be　used。

When　George　got　to　Belle　Carpenter's　house　there　had　already　been　a　visitor　there　before　him。　　Ed　Handby　had　come　to　the　door　and　calling　Belle　out　of　the　house　had　tried　to　talk　to　her。　　He　had　wanted　to　ask　the　woman　to　come　away　with　him　and　to　be　his　wife；　but　when　she　came　and　stood　by　the　door　he　lost　his　self…assurance　and　became　sullen。　　〃You　stay　away