winesburg,ohio-第30章
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e became dizzy and fell off his seat and Kate Swift laughed with him。 Then suddenly she became again cold and stern。
On the winter night when she walked through the deserted snow…covered streets； a crisis had come into the life of the school teacher。 Although no one in Winesburg would have suspected it； her life had been very adventurous。 It was still adventurous。 Day by day as she worked in the schoolroom or walked in the streets； grief； hope； and desire fought within her。 Behind a cold exterior the most extraor… dinary events transpired in her mind。 The people of the town thought of her as a confirmed old maid and because she spoke sharply and went her own way thought her lacking in all the human feeling that did so much to make and mar their own lives。 In reality she was the most eagerly passionate soul among them； and more than once； in the five years since she had come back from her travels to settle in Winesburg and become a school teacher； had been compelled to go out of the house and walk half through the night fighting out some battle raging within。 Once on a night when it rained she had stayed out six hours and when she came home had a quarrel with Aunt Elizabeth Swift。 〃I am glad you're not a man；〃 said the mother sharply。 〃More than once I've waited for your father to come home； not knowing what new mess he had got into。 I've had my share of uncertainty and you cannot blame me if I do not want to see the worst side of him reproduced in you。〃
Kate Swift's mind was ablaze with thoughts of George Willard。 In something he had written as a school boy she thought she had recognized the spark of genius and wanted to blow on the spark。 One day in the summer she had gone to the Eagle office and finding the boy unoccupied had taken him out Main Street to the Fair Ground； where the two sat on a grassy bank and talked。 The school teacher tried to bring home to the mind of the boy some conception of the difficulties he would have to face as a writer。 〃You will have to know life；〃 she declared； and her voice trembled with earnestness。 She took hold of George Willard's shoulders and turned him about so that she could look into his eyes。 A passer…by might have thought them about to embrace。 〃If you are to become a writer you'll have to stop fooling with words；〃 she explained。 〃It would be better to give up the notion of writing until you are better prepared。 Now it's time to be living。 I don't want to frighten you； but I would like to make you understand the import of what you think of attempting。 You must not become a mere peddler of words。 The thing to learn is to know what people are thinking about； not what they say。〃
On the evening before that stormy Thursday night when the Reverend Curtis Hartman sat in the bell tower of the church waiting to look at her body； young Willard had gone to visit the teacher and to borrow a book。 It was then the thing happened that confused and puzzled the boy。 He had the book under his arm and was preparing to depart。 Again Kate Swift talked with great earnestness。 Night was coming on and the light in the room grew dim。 As he turned to go she spoke his name softly and with an impulsive movement took hold of his hand。 Be… cause the reporter was rapidly becoming a man something of his man's appeal； combined with the winsomeness of the boy； stirred the heart of the lonely woman。 A passionate desire to have him un… derstand the import of life； to learn to interpret it truly and honestly； swept over her。 Leaning for… ward； her lips brushed his cheek。 At the same mo… ment he for the first time became aware of the marked beauty of her features。 They were both em… barrassed； and to relieve her feeling she became harsh and domineering。 〃What's the use？ It will be ten years before you begin to understand what I mean when I talk to you；〃 she cried passionately。
On the night of the storm and while the minister sat in the church waiting for her； Kate Swift went to the office of the Winesburg Eagle； intending to have another talk with the boy。 After the long walk in the snow she was cold； lonely； and tired。 As she came through Main Street she saw the fight from the printshop window shining on the snow and on an impulse opened the door and went in。 For an hour she sat by the stove in the office talking of life。 She talked with passionate earnestness。 The impulse that had driven her out into the snow poured itself out into talk。 She became inspired as she sometimes did in the presence of the children in school。 A great eagerness to open the door of life to the boy； who had been her pupil and who she thought might pos… sess a talent for the understanding of life； had pos… session of her。 So strong was her passion that it became something physical。 Again her hands took hold of his shoulders and she turned him about。 In the dim light her eyes blazed。 She arose and laughed； not sharply as was customary with her； but in a queer； hesitating way。 〃I must be going；〃 she said。 〃In a moment； if I stay； I'll be wanting to kiss you。〃
In the newspaper office a confusion arose。 Kate Swift turned and walked to the door。 She was a teacher but she was also a woman。 As she looked at George Willard； the passionate desire to be loved by a man； that had a thousand times before swept like a storm over her body； took possession of her。 In the lamplight George Willard looked no longer a boy； but a man ready to play the part of a man。
The school teacher let George Willard take her into his arms。 In the warm little office the air became suddenly heavy and the strength went out of her body。 Leaning against a low counter by the door she waited。 When he came and put a hand on her shoul… der she turned and let her body fall heavily against him。 For George Willard the confusion was immedi… ately increased。 For a moment he held the body of the woman tightly against his body and then it stiff… ened。 Two sharp little fists began to beat on his face。 When the school teacher had run away and left him alone； he walked up and down the office swearing furiously。
It was into this confusion that the Reverend Curtis Hartman protruded himself。 When he came in George Willard thought the town had gone mad。 Shaking a bleeding fist in the air； the minister pro… claimed the woman George had only a moment be… fore held in his arms an instrument of God bearing a message of truth。
George blew out the lamp by the window and locking the door of the printshop went home。 Through the hotel office； past Hop Higgins lost in his dream of the raising of ferrets； he went and up into his own room。 The fire in the stove had gone out and he undressed in the cold。 When he got into bed the sheets were like blankets of dry snow。
George Willard rolled about in the bed on which had lain in the afternoon hugging the pillow and thinking thoughts of Kate Swift。 The words of the minister； who he thought had gone suddenly in… sane； rang in his ears。 His eyes stared about the room。 The resentment； natural to the baffled male； passed and he tried to understand what had hap… pened。 He could not make it out。 Over and over he turned the matter in his mind。 Hours passed and he began to think it must be time for another day to come。 At four o'clock he pulled the covers up about his neck and tried to sleep。 When he became drowsy and closed his eyes； he raised a hand and with it groped about in the darkness。 〃I have missed some… thing。 I have missed something Kate Swift was try… ing to tell me；〃 he muttered sleepily。 Then he slept and in all Winesburg he was the last soul on that winter night to go to sleep。
LONELINESS
HE WAS THE son of Mrs。 Al Robinson who once owned a farm on a side road leading off Trunion Pike； east of Winesburg and two miles beyond the town limits。 The farmhouse was painted brown and the blinds to all of the windows facing the road were kept closed。 In the road before the house a flock of chickens； accompanied by two guinea hens； lay in the deep dust。 Enoch lived in the house with his mother in those days and when he was a young boy went to school at the Winesburg High School。 Old citizens remembered him as a quiet； smiling youth inclined to silence。 He walked in t
