the grey brethren(阴郁的教友们)-第9章
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billiard balls and he had to go and get a new set before he could eat his
dinner。 Well； he was in a perfect fury； and how to get at the Princess he
did not know。 He swallowed several buckets of hot brimstone； rolled his
head in a red flannel petticoat； put his tail in a hot sand…bag； and went to
bed hoping to cure the ague； which he did completely； so that he was quite
well next day and more anxious to eat the Princess than ever。
Now next door to the Dreadful Griffin （that is； a hundred miles away）
there lived a Wicked Witch； and he went to consult her as to how he might
get at the Princess。 When the Wicked Witch heard what a sad effect
White Cats had on the Griffin's constitution she said that she would have
expected a Griffin of his coils to have had more sense。
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〃Any slow…worm knows；〃 said the Wicked Witch； 〃that cats love mice
better than Princesses； therefore get a large sack of fat mice； let them loose
a little way from the castle； and when the cats see them they will run after
them； and you can eat the Princess。〃
The Dreadful Griffin was so pleased with the Wicked Witch that he
presented her with a pair of fire…bricks and a hot…water tin； and then flew
away to the Purveyor of Mice； who lived in a town about seventy miles
away。 He bought twelve hundred dozen fat mice of the best quality； all
the Purveyor had in stock that were home…grown； and flew on with them
to the castle。 When he was a little way off he let the mice out； expecting
all the cats to arrive at once； but not a cat appeared。 They HEARD mice
and they SMELT mice； but not a cat moved； for they were on their honour；
so they kept guard and licked their lips sadly。 When the Griffin saw the
last of the twelve hundred dozen mice disappearing down the road with
never a cat after them； he was in a tremendous temper and flew away to
the house of the Wicked Witch； only stopping to pick up a steam engine
which he dropped through her roof； and then went home to bed。 Next
day he remembered a friend of his called the Grumpy Giant； who lived six
doors away； that is； about a thousand miles； so he flew to ask his advice。
When the Giant heard his story； he said in the gruffest voice you ever
heard； 〃Mice is common； try sparrers〃 （by which you can see that he was
quite an uneducated person）； and then he turned over and went to sleep。
The Dreadful Griffin at once flew away to the Sparrow Preserves；
bought eleven thousand； and then proceeded to let them fly close to the
castle。 Still not a cat moved。 As the cats' copy…book well says； 〃Honour
is dearer to cats than mice or birds；〃 and all the kittens write this in round…
hand as soon as they can do lessons at all； and never forget it。
Well； I really dare not describe the state of mind the Griffin was in； but
he made the air so hot that all the people put on their thinnest clothes；
although it was the middle of winter。 He flew home puffing and snorting；
and on the way he passed the house of the Amiable Answerer。 He went
in and told his story； and his voice shook with rage。 The Amiable
Answerer gave him a penny pink ice to cool him down； and then said
gently：…
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〃I think； dear Mr Griffin； that green spectacles would meet your case。
Then the cats which are now white would appear to you green and 。 。 。 〃
But the Griffin was already half…way to a Watchmaker's where they
sold glasses。 He burst into the shop； frightened the watchmaker so that
he fell into the works of the watch he was mending and could only be got
out with the greatest difficulty； seized twelve pairs of green spectacles； put
them on all at once and flew towards the castle。
Now the Dreadful Griffin was one of those creatures who do not stop
to think； consequently he came to grief。 White cats gave him the ague；
but green dogs made him cough most fearfully； and a little way out of the
town he met thirteen white poodles taking a walk； who of course all
looked bright green to the Dreadful Griffin。 He coughed so fearfully that
all the twelve pairs of spectacles fell off his nose and were smashed to bits；
and his plan was spoilt once more。
No； I am not going to tell you what the Dreadful Griffin said and did
then； it is too terrible to speak of； but he had to keep in bed for a week； and
drink hot tar； and have his chest ironed with a steam roller； and his nose
greased with seven pounds of tallow candles； but all his misfortunes did
not cure him of wanting to eat the Princess。 When his cough was better；
he went for a walk in the wood near which he lived； to think out a new
plan。 Suddenly he heard something croaking； and saw the Fat Frog
sitting under a tree。 Now the Dreadful Griffin was so low in his mind
that he wanted to tell someone his troubles； so he told the Fat Frog。
〃Don't come near me；〃 said the Fat Frog when he had finished； 〃for I
hate heat。 If you look under the fifth tree from the end of the wood you'll
find a thin packet。 Put it in sixteen gallons of water and pour it over the
cats； only mind you shut your eyes first； and for goodness sake don't come
into this wood any more； you dry up the moisture。〃
The Griffin quite forgot to thank the Fat Frog； he was a Griffin of NO
manners； but he didn't forget to take the packet。 It was labelled
'Reckitt's；' and when he put it in the water all the water turned bright blue。
Then he took the pail in his claw； flew to the castle； shut his eyes and
poured some of the contents of the pail over the cats in the courtyard。
When he opened his eyes there were twenty…seven bright blue； damp；
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depressed cats； and he passed them without any difficulty。 He shut his
eyes； wriggled up the stairs； poured the remaining mixture over the
seventeen cats； who all turned as blue as the rest； and then he burst open
the door of the Princess's room。 Fortunately there was a kind Fairy
flying over the castle at that very moment； who； seeing what was
happening； changed the Princess into a flea so that the Dreadful Griffin
couldn't see her anywhere。
No； if I couldn't tell you before； I certainly must not attempt now to
describe the Griffin's behaviour when he found the Princess thus snatched
from his jaws。 He went grunting and bellowing and screaming along；
and just as he was stopping to take breath he heard someone roaring with
laughter； and saw a little yellow man sitting on the top bough of a tree。
〃Are you laughing at ME？〃 said the Dreadful Griffin （he was so angry
that he was quite polite）。 And the little man said quite as politely that he
certainly WAS。
〃Why？〃 said the Dreadful Griffin； still fearfully polite。
〃Because you're such a green Griffin；〃 said the yellow man； and he
screamed with laughter again … 〃I know all about it； you've blued the cats
and now the Princess has greened you。 She's turned into a flea； and you
