the club of queer trades-第31章

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al　trifles　for　which　nobody　cares；　such　as　committing　a　murder；　or　keeping　a　dog　without　a　licence。　My　criminals　were　tried　for　the　faults　which　really　make　social　life　impossible。　They　were　tried　before　me　for　selfishness；　or　for　an　impossible　vanity；　or　for　scandalmongering；　or　for　stinginess　to　guests　or　dependents。　Of　course　these　courts　had　no　sort　of　real　coercive　powers。　The　fulfilment　of　their　punishments　rested　entirely　on　the　honour　of　the　ladies　and　gentlemen　involved；　including　the　honour　of　the　culprits。　But　you　would　be　amazed　to　know　how　completely　our　orders　were　always　obeyed。　Only　lately　I　had　a　most　pleasing　example。　A　maiden　lady　in　South　Kensington　whom　I　had　condemned　to　solitary　confinement　for　being　the　means　of　breaking　off　an　engagement　through　backbiting；　absolutely　refused　to　leave　her　prison；　although　some　well…meaning　persons　had　been　inopportune　enough　to　rescue　her。〃

Rupert　Grant　was　staring　at　his　brother；　his　mouth　fallen　agape。　So；　for　the　matter　of　that；　I　expect；　was　I。　This；　then；　was　the　explanation　of　the　old　lady's　strange　discontent　and　her　still　stranger　content　with　her　lot。　She　was　one　of　the　culprits　of　his　Voluntary　Criminal　Court。　She　was　one　of　the　clients　of　his　Queer　Trade。

We　were　still　dazed　when　we　drank；　amid　a　crash　of　glasses；　the　health　of　Basil's　new　judiciary。　We　had　only　a　confused　sense　of　everything　having　been　put　right；　the　sense　men　will　have　when　they　come　into　the　presence　of　God。　We　dimly　heard　Basil　say：

〃Mr　P。　G。　Northover　will　now　explain　the　Adventure　and　Romance　Agency。〃

And　we　heard　equally　dimly　Northover　beginning　the　statement　he　had　made　long　ago　to　Major　Brown。　Thus　our　epic　ended　where　it　had　begun；　like　a　true　cycle。






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