the club of queer trades-第20章
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〃What's the matterare you hurt？〃 I cried； alarmed。
〃No。 Listen to Basil；〃 said the other in a very strange voice。 〃He's not talking to himself。〃
〃Then he is talking to us；〃 I cried。
〃No；〃 said Rupert simply； 〃he's talking to somebody else。〃
Great branches of the elm loaded with leaves swung about us in a sudden burst of wind； but when it died down I could still hear the conversational voice above。 I could hear two voices。
Suddenly from aloft came Basil's boisterous hailing voice as before： 〃Come up； you fellows。 Here's Lieutenant Keith。〃
And a second afterwards came the half…American voice we had heard in our chambers more than once。 It called out：
〃Happy to see you； gentlemen； pray come in。〃
Out of a hole in an enormous dark egg…shaped thing； pendent in the branches like a wasps' nest； was protruding the pale face and fierce moustache of the lieutenant； his teeth shining with that slightly Southern air that belonged to him。
Somehow or other； stunned and speechless； we lifted ourselves heavily into the opening。 We fell into the full glow of a lamp…lit； cushioned； tiny room； with a circular wall lined with books； a circular table； and a circular seat around it。 At this table sat three people。 One was Basil； who； in the instant after alighting there； had fallen into an attitude of marmoreal ease as if he had been there from boyhood； he was smoking a cigar with a slow pleasure。 The second was Lieutenant Drummond Keith； who looked happy also； but feverish and doubtful compared with his granite guest。 The third was the little bald…headed house…agent with the wild whiskers； who called himself Montmorency。 The spears； the green umbrella； and the cavalry sword hung in parallels on the wall。 The sealed jar of strange wine was on the mantelpiece； the enormous rifle in the corner。 In the middle of the table was a magnum of champagne。 Glasses were already set for us。
The wind of the night roared far below us； like an ocean at the foot of a light…house。 The room stirred slightly； as a cabin might in a mild sea。
Our glasses were filled； and we still sat there dazed and dumb。 Then Basil spoke。
〃You seem still a little doubtful； Rupert。 Surely there is no further question about the cold veracity of our injured host。〃
〃I don't quite grasp it all；〃 said Rupert； blinking still in the sudden glare。 〃Lieutenant Keith said his address was〃
〃It's really quite right； sir；〃 said Keith； with an open smile。 〃The bobby asked me where I lived。 And I said； quite truthfully； that I lived in the elms on Buxton Common； near Purley。 So I do。 This gentleman； Mr Montmorency； whom I think you have met before； is an agent for houses of this kind。 He has a special line in arboreal villas。 It's being kept rather quiet at present； because the people who want these houses don't want them to get too common。 But it's just the sort of thing a fellow like myself； racketing about in all sorts of queer corners of London； naturally knocks up against。〃
〃Are you really an agent for arboreal villas？〃 asked Rupert eagerly； recovering his ease with the romance of reality。
Mr Montmorency； in his embarrassment； fingered one of his pockets and nervously pulled out a snake； which crawled about the table。
〃W…well； yes； sir；〃 he said。 〃The fact wasermy people wanted me very much to go into the house…agency business。 But I never cared myself for anything but natural history and botany and things like that。 My poor parents have been dead some years now； butnaturally I like to respect their wishes。 And I thought somehow that an arboreal villa agency was a sort ofof compromise between being a botanist and being a house…agent。〃
Rupert could not help laughing。 〃Do you have much custom？〃 he asked。
〃N…not much；〃 replied Mr Montmorency； and then he glanced at Keith； who was （I am convinced） his only client。 〃But what there isvery select。〃
〃My dear friends；〃 said Basil； puffing his cigar； 〃always remember two facts。 The first is that though when you are guessing about any one who is sane； the sanest thing is the most likely； when you are guessing about any one who is； like our host； insane； the maddest thing is the most likely。 The second is to remember that very plain literal fact always seems fantastic。 If Keith had taken a little brick box of a house in Clapham with nothing but railings in front of it and had written ‘The Elms' over it； you wouldn't have thought there was anything fantastic about that。 Simply because it was a great blaring； swaggering lie you would have believed it。〃
〃Drink your wine； gentlemen；〃 said Keith； laughing； 〃for this confounded wind will upset it。〃
We drank； and as we did so； although the hanging house； by a cunning mechanism； swung only slightly； we knew that the great head of the elm tree swayed in the sky like a stricken thistle。
Chapter 5
The Noticeable Conduct of Professor Chadd
Basil Grant had comparatively few friends besides myself； yet he was the reverse of an unsociable man。 He would talk to any one anywhere； and talk not only well but with perfectly genuine concern and enthusiasm for that person's affairs。 He went through the world； as it were； as if he were always on the top of an omnibus or waiting for a train。 Most of these chance acquaintances； of course； vanished into darkness out of his life。 A few here and there got hooked on to him； so to speak； and became his lifelong intimates； but there was an accidental look about all of them as if they were windfalls； samples taken at random； goods fallen from a goods train or presents fished out of a bran…pie。 One would be； let us say； a veterinary surgeon with the appearance of a jockey； another； a mild prebendary with a white beard and vague views； another； a young captain in the Lancers； seemingly exactly like other captains in the Lancers； another； a small dentist from Fulham； in all reasonable certainty precisely like every other dentist from Fulham。 Major Brown； small； dry； and dapper； was one of these； Basil had made his acquaintance over a discussion in a hotel cloak…room about the right hat； a discussion which reduced the little major almost to a kind of masculine hysterics； the compound of the selfishness of an old bachelor and the scrupulosity of an old maid。 They had gone home in a cab together and then dined with each other twice a week until they died。 I myself was another。 I had met Grant while he was still a judge； on the balcony of the National Liberal Club； and exchanged a few words about the weather。 Then we had talked for about an hour about politics and God； for men always talk about the most important things to total strangers。 It is because in the total stranger we perceive man himself； the image of God is not disguised by resemblances to an uncle or doubts of the wisdom of a moustache。
One of the most interesting of Basil's motley group of acquaintances was Professor Chadd。 He was known to the ethnological world （which is a very interesting world； but a long way off this one） as the second greatest； if not the greatest； authority on the relations of savages to language。 He was known to the neighbourhood of Hart Street； Bloomsbury； as a bearded man with a bald head； spectacles； and a patient face； the face of an unaccountable Nonconformist who had forgotten how to be angry。 He went to and fro between the British Museum and a selection of blameless tea…shops； with an armful of books and a poor but honest umbrella。 He was never seen without the books and the umbrella； and was supposed （by the lighter wits of the Persian MS。 room） to go to bed with them in his little brick villa in the neighbourhood of Shepherd's Bush。 There he lived with three sisters； ladies of solid goodness； but sinister demeanour。 His life was happy； as are almost all the lives of methodical students； but one would not have called it exhilarating。 His only hours of exhilaration occurred when his friend； Basil Grant； came into the house； late at night； a tornado of conversation。
Basil； though close on sixty； had moods of boisterous babyishness； and these seemed for some reason or other to descend upon him particularly in the house of his studious and almost dingy friend。 I can remember vividly （for I was acquainted with both parties and of
