the club of queer trades-第14章

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The　old　gentleman　had　finished　his　story　and　leant　back　in　his　chair。　Both　the　matter　and　the　manner　of　his　narration　had；　as　time　went　on；　impressed　me　favourably。　He　was　an　old　duffer　and　pedant；　but　behind　these　things　he　was　a　country…bred　man　and　gentleman；　and　had　showed　courage　and　a　sporting　instinct　in　the　hour　of　desperation。　He　had　told　his　story　with　many　quaint　formalities　of　diction；　but　also　with　a　very　convincing　realism。

〃And　now〃　I　began。

〃And　now；〃　said　Shorter；　leaning　forward　again　with　something　like　servile　energy；　〃and　now；　Mr　Swinburne；　what　about　that　unhappy　man　Hawker。　I　cannot　tell　what　those　men　meant；　or　how　far　what　they　said　was　real。　But　surely　there　is　danger。　I　cannot　go　to　the　police；　for　reasons　that　you　perceive。　Among　other　things；　they　wouldn't　believe　me。　What　is　to　be　done？〃

I　took　out　my　watch。　It　was　already　half　past　twelve。

〃My　friend　Basil　Grant；〃　I　said；　〃is　the　best　man　we　can　go　to。　He　and　I　were　to　have　gone　to　the　same　dinner　tonight；　but　he　will　just　have　come　back　by　now。　Have　you　any　objection　to　taking　a　cab？〃

〃Not　at　all；〃　he　replied；　rising　politely；　and　gathering　up　his　absurd　plaid　shawl。

A　rattle　in　a　hansom　brought　us　underneath　the　sombre　pile　of　workmen's　flats　in　Lambeth　which　Grant　inhabited；　a　climb　up　a　wearisome　wooden　staircase　brought　us　to　his　garret。　When　I　entered　that　wooden　and　scrappy　interior；　the　white　gleam　of　Basil's　shirt…front　and　the　lustre　of　his　fur　coat　flung　on　the　wooden　settle；　struck　me　as　a　contrast。　He　was　drinking　a　glass　of　wine　before　retiring。　I　was　right；　he　had　come　back　from　the　dinner…party。

He　listened　to　the　repetition　of　the　story　of　the　Rev。　Ellis　Shorter　with　the　genuine　simplicity　and　respect　which　he　never　failed　to　exhibit　in　dealing　with　any　human　being。　When　it　was　over　he　said　simply：

〃Do　you　know　a　man　named　Captain　Fraser？〃

I　was　so　startled　at　this　totally　irrelevant　reference　to　the　worthy　collector　of　chimpanzees　with　whom　I　ought　to　have　dined　that　evening；　that　I　glanced　sharply　at　Grant。　The　result　was　that　I　did　not　look　at　Mr　Shorter。　I　only　heard　him　answer；　in　his　most　nervous　tone；　〃No。〃

Basil；　however；　seemed　to　find　something　very　curious　about　his　answer　or　his　demeanour　generally；　for　he　kept　his　big　blue　eyes　fixed　on　the　old　clergyman；　and　though　the　eyes　were　quite　quiet　they　stood　out　more　and　more　from　his　head。

〃You　are　quite　sure；　Mr　Shorter；〃　he　repeated；　〃that　you　don't　know　Captain　Fraser？〃

〃Quite；〃　answered　the　vicar；　and　I　was　certainly　puzzled　to　find　him　returning　so　much　to　the　timidity；　not　to　say　the　demoralization；　of　his　tone　when　he　first　entered　my　presence。

Basil　sprang　smartly　to　his　feet。

〃Then　our　course　is　clear；〃　he　said。　〃You　have　not　even　begun　your　investigation；　my　dear　Mr　Shorter；　the　first　thing　for　us　to　do　is　to　go　together　to　see　Captain　Fraser。〃

〃When？〃　asked　the　clergyman；　stammering。

〃Now；〃　said　Basil；　putting　one　arm　in　his　fur　coat。

The　old　clergyman　rose　to　his　feet；　quaking　all　over。

〃I　really　do　not　think　that　it　is　necessary；〃　he　said。

Basil　took　his　arm　out　of　the　fur　coat；　threw　it　over　the　chair　again；　and　put　his　hands　in　his　pockets。

〃Oh；〃　he　said；　with　emphasis。　〃Ohyou　don't　think　it　necessary；　then；〃　and　he　added　the　words　with　great　clearness　and　deliberation；　〃then；　Mr　Ellis　Shorter；　I　can　only　say　that　I　would　like　to　see　you　without　your　whiskers。〃

And　at　these　words　I　also　rose　to　my　feet；　for　the　great　tragedy　of　my　life　had　come。　Splendid　and　exciting　as　life　was　in　continual　contact　with　an　intellect　like　Basil's；　I　had　always　the　feeling　that　that　splendour　and　excitement　were　on　the　borderland　of　sanity。　He　lived　perpetually　near　the　vision　of　the　reason　of　things　which　makes　men　lose　their　reason。　And　I　felt　of　his　insanity　as　men　feel　of　the　death　of　friends　with　heart　disease。　It　might　come　anywhere；　in　a　field；　in　a　hansom　cab；　looking　at　a　sunset；　smoking　a　cigarette。　It　had　come　now。　At　the　very　moment　of　delivering　a　judgement　for　the　salvation　of　a　fellow　creature；　Basil　Grant　had　gone　mad。

〃Your　whiskers；〃　he　cried；　advancing　with　blazing　eyes。　〃Give　me　your　whiskers。　And　your　bald　head。〃

The　old　vicar　naturally　retreated　a　step　or　two。　I　stepped　between。

〃Sit　down；　Basil；〃　I　implored；　〃you're　a　little　excited。　Finish　your　wine。〃

〃Whiskers；〃　he　answered　sternly；　〃whiskers。〃

And　with　that　he　made　a　dash　at　the　old　gentleman；　who　made　a　dash　for　the　door；　but　was　intercepted。　And　then；　before　I　knew　where　I　was　the　quiet　room　was　turned　into　something　between　a　pantomime　and　a　pandemonium　by　those　two。　Chairs　were　flung　over　with　a　crash；　tables　were　vaulted　with　a　noise　like　thunder；　screens　were　smashed；　crockery　scattered　in　smithereens；　and　still　Basil　Grant　bounded　and　bellowed　after　the　Rev。　Ellis　Shorter。

And　now　I　began　to　perceive　something　else；　which　added　the　last　half…witted　touch　to　my　mystification。　The　Rev。　Ellis　Shorter；　of　Chuntsey；　in　Essex；　was　by　no　means　behaving　as　I　had　previously　noticed　him　to　behave；　or　as；　considering　his　age　and　station；　I　should　have　expected　him　to　behave。　His　power　of　dodging；　leaping；　and　fighting　would　have　been　amazing　in　a　lad　of　seventeen；　and　in　this　doddering　old　vicar　looked　like　a　sort　of　farcical　fairy…tale。　Moreover；　he　did　not　seem　to　be　so　much　astonished　as　I　had　thought。　There　was　even　a　look　of　something　like　enjoyment　in　his　eyes；　so　there　was　in　the　eye　of　Basil。　In　fact；　the　unintelligible　truth　must　be　told。　They　were　both　laughing。

At　length　Shorter　was　cornered。

〃Come；　come；　Mr　Grant；〃　he　panted；　〃you　can't　do　anything　to　me。　It's　quite　legal。　And　it　doesn't　do　any　one　the　least　harm。　It's　only　a　social　fiction。　A　result　of　our　complex　society；　Mr　Grant。〃

〃I　don't　blame　you；　my　man；〃　said　Basil　coolly。　〃But　I　want　your　whiskers。　And　your　bald　head。　Do　they　belong　to　Captain　Fraser？〃

〃No；　no；〃　said　Mr　Shorter；　laughing；　〃we　provide　them　ourselves。　They　don't　belong　to　Captain　Fraser。〃

〃What　the　deuce　does　all　this　mean？〃　I　almost　screamed。　〃Are　you　all　in　an　infernal　nightmare？　Why　should　Mr　Shorter's　bald　head　belong　to　Captain　Fraser？　How　could　it？　What　the　deuce　has　Captain　Fraser　to　do　with　the　affair？　What　is　the　matter　with　him？　You　dined　with　him；　Basil。〃

〃No；〃　said　Grant；　〃I　didn't。〃

〃Didn't　you　go　to　Mrs　Thornton's　dinner…party？〃　I　asked；　staring。　〃Why　not？〃

〃Well；〃　said　Basil；　with　a　slow　and　singular　smile；　〃the　fact　is　I　was　detained　by　a　visitor。　I　have　him；　as　a　point　of　fact；　in　my　bedroom。〃

〃In　your　bedroom？〃　I　repeated；　but　my　imagination　had　reached　that　point　when　he　might　have　said　in　his　coal　scuttle　or　his　waistcoat　pocket。

Grant　stepped　to　the　door　of　an　inner　room；　flung　it　open　and　walked　in。　Then　he　came　out　again　with　the　last　of　the　bodily　wonders　of　that　wild　night。　He　introduced　into　the　sitting…room；　in　an　apologetic　manner；　and　by　the　nape　of　the　neck；　a　limp　clergyman　with　a　bald　head；　white　whiskers　and　a　plaid　shawl。

〃Sit　down；　gentlemen；〃　cried　Grant；　striking　his　hands　heartily。　〃Sit　down　all　of　you　and　have　a　glass　of　wine。　As　you　say；　there　is　no　harm　in　it；　and　if　Captain　Fraser　had　simply　dropped　me　a　hint　I　could　have　saved　him　from　dropping　a　good　sum　of　money。　Not　that　you　would　have　liked　that；　eh？〃

The　two　duplicate　clergymen；　who　were　sipping　their　Burgundy　with　two　duplicate　grins；　laughed　heartily　at　this；　and　one　of　them　carelessly　pulled　off　his　whiskers　and　laid　them　on　the　table。

〃Basil；〃　I　said；　〃if　you　are　my　friend；　save　me。　What　is　all　this？〃

He　laughed　again。

〃Only　another　addition；　Cherub；　to　your　collection　of　Queer　Trades。　These　two　gentlemen　（whose　health　I　have　now　the　pleasure　of　drinking）　are　Professional　Detainers。〃

〃And　what　on　earth's　that？〃　I　asked。

〃It's　really　very　simple；　Mr　Swinburne；〃　began　he　who　had　once　been　the　Rev。　Ellis　Shorter；　of　Chuntsey；　in　Essex；　and　it　gave　me　a　shock　indescribable　to　hear　out　of　that　pompous　and　familiar　form　come　no　longer　its　own　pompous　and　familiar　voice；　but　the　brisk　sharp　tones　of　a　young　city　man。　〃It　is　really　nothing　very　important。　We　are　paid　by　our　clients　to　detain　in　conversation；　on　some　harmless　pretext；　people　whom　they