ragged lady, v1-第17章
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〃I saw that you wanted them that day； and when the peddler happened to
overtake me in the woods where I was walking； after I left you； I acted
on a sudden impulse； and I bought them for you。 I meant to send them to
you anonymously； then。 I had committed one error in acting upon impulse…
my rashness is my besetting sinand I wished to add a species of deceit
to that。 But I was kept from it until…to…day。 I hoped you would like to
wear them to the dance to…night； and I put them in the post…office for
you myself。 Mr。 Fane didn't know anything about it。 That is all。 I am
to blame； and no one else。〃
He waited for her to speak； but Clementina could only say； 〃I don't know
what to say。〃
〃You can't say anything that would be punishment enough for me。 I have
acted foolishly； cruelly。〃
Clementina did not think so。 She was not indignant； as she was when she
thought Fane had taken this liberty with her； but if Mr。 Gregory thought
it was so very bad； it must be something much more serious than she had
imagined。 She said； 〃I don't see why you wanted to do it；〃 hoping that
he would be able to tell her something that would make his behavior seem
less dreadful than he appeared to think it was。
〃There is only one thing that could justify it； and that is something
that I cannot justify。〃 It was very mysterious； but youth loves mystery；
and Clementina was very young。 〃I did it；〃 said Gregory solemnly； and he
felt that now he was acting from no impulse； but from a wisely considered
decision which he might not fail in without culpability； 〃because I love
you。〃
〃Oh！〃 said Clementina； and she started away from him。
〃I knew that it would make me detestable！〃 he cried； bitterly。 〃I had to
tell you； to explain what I did。 I couldn't help doing it。 But now if
you can forget it； and never think of me again； I can go away； and try to
atone for it somehow。 I shall be guided。〃
Clementina did not know why she ought to feel affronted or injured by
what he had said to her； but if Mr。 Gregory thought it was wrong for him
to have spoken so； it must be wrong。 She did not wish him to feel badly；
even if he had done wrong； but she had to take his view of what he had
done。 〃Why； suttainly； Mr。 Gregory；〃 she answered。 〃You mustn't mind
it。〃
〃But I do mind it。 I have been very； very selfish； very thoughtless。 We
are both too young。 I can't ask you to wait for me till I could marry〃
The word really frightened Clementina。 She said； 〃I don't believe I
betta promise。〃
〃Oh； I know it！〃 said Gregory。 〃I am going away from here。 I am going
to…morrow as soon as I can arrangeas soon as I can get away。 Good…
nightI〃Clementina in her agitation put her hands up to her face。
〃Oh； don't cryI can't bear to have you cry。〃
She took down her hands。 〃I'm not crying！ But I wish I had neva seen
those slippas。〃
They had come to the bank of the river； whose current quivered at that
point in a scaly ripple in the moonlight。 At her words Gregory suddenly
pulled the box from under his arm； and flung it into the stream as far as
he could。 It caught upon a shallow of the ripple； hung there a moment；
then loosed itself； and swam swiftly down the stream。
〃Oh！〃 Clementina moaned。
〃Do you want them back？〃 he demanded。 〃I will go in for them！〃
〃No； no！ No。 But it seemed such awaste！〃
〃Yes； that is a sin； too。〃 They climbed silently to the hotel。 At Mrs。
Atwell's door； he spoke。 〃Try to forget what I said； and forgive me； if
you can。〃
〃Yesyes； I will； Mr。 Gregory。 You mustn't think of it any moa。〃
XII。
Clementina did not sleep till well toward morning； and she was still
sleeping when Mrs。 Atwell knocked and called in to her that her brother
Jim wanted to see her。 She hurried down； and in the confusion of mind
left over from the night before she cooed sweetly at Jim as if he had
been Mr。 Gregory； 〃What is it； Jim？ What do you want me for？〃
The boy answered with the disgust a sister's company manners always rouse
in a brother。 〃Motha wants you。 Says she's wo'ked down； and she wants
you to come and help。〃 Then he went his way。
Mrs。 Atwell was used to having help snatched from her by their families
at a moment's notice。 〃I presume you've got to go； Clem；〃 she said。
〃Oh； yes； I've got to go；〃 Clementina assented； with a note of relief
which mystified Mrs。 Atwell。
〃You tied readin' to Mr。 Milray？〃
〃Oh； no'm…no； I mean。 But I guess I betta go home。 I guess I've been
away long enough。〃
〃Well； you're a good gul； Clem。 I presume your motha's got a right to
have you home if she wants you。〃 Clementina said nothing to this； but
turned briskly； and started upstairs toward her room again。 The landlady
called after her； 〃Shall you speak to Mis' Milray； or do you want I
should？〃
Clementina looked back at her over her shoulder to warble； 〃Why； if you
would； Mrs。 Atwell；〃 and kept on to her room。
Mrs。 Milray was not wholly sorry to have her go； she was going herself
very soon； and Clementina's earlier departure simplified the question of
getting rid of her； but she overwhelmed her with reproaches which
Clementina received with such sweet sincerity that another than Mrs。
Milray might have blamed herself for having abused her ingenuousness。
The Atwells could very well have let the girl walk home； but they sent
her in a buckboard； with one of the stablemen to drive her。 The landlord
put her neat bundle under the seat of the buckboard with his own hand。
There was something in the child's bearing； her dignity and her
amiability； which made people offer her； half in fun； and half in
earnest； the deference paid to age and state。
She did not know whether Gregory would try to see her before she went。
She thought he must have known she was going； but since he neither came
to take leave of her； nor sent her any message； she decided that she had
not expected him to do so。 About the third week of September she heard
that he had left Middlemount and gone back to college。
She kept at her work in the house and helped her mother； and looked after
the little ones； she followed her father in the woods； in his quest of
stuff for walking sticks； and advised with both concerning the taste of
summer folks in dress and in canes。 The winter came； and she read many
books in its long leisure； mostly novels； out of the rector's library。
He had a whole set of Miss Edgeworth； and nearly all of Miss Austen and
Miss Gurney； and he gave of them to Clementina； as the best thing for her
mind as well as her morals； he believed nothing could be better for any
one than these old English novels； which he had nearly forgotten in their
details。 She colored the faded English life of the stories afresh from
her Yankee circumstance； and it seemed the consensus of their testimony
that she had really been made love to； and not so very much too soon； at
her age of sixteen； for most of their heroines were not much older。 The
terms of Gregory's declaration and of its withdrawal were mystifying； but
not more mystifying than many such things； and from what happened in the
novels she read； the affair might be trusted to come out all right of
itself in time。 She was rather thoughtfuller for it； and once her mother
asked her what was the matter with her。 〃Oh； I guess I'm getting old；
motha；〃 she said； and turned the question off。 She would not have minded
telling her mother about Gregory； but it would not have been the custom；
and her mother would have worried； and would have blamed him。 Clementina
could have more easily trusted her father with the case； but so far as
she knew fathers never were trusted with anything of the kind。 She would
have been willing that accident should bring it to the knowledge of Mrs。
Richling； but the moment never came when she could voluntarily confide in
her； though she was a great deal with her that winter。 She was Mrs。
Richling's lieutenant in the social affairs of the parish； which the
rector's wife took under her care。 She helped her get up entertainments
of the kind that could be given in the church parlor； and they managed
together some dances which had to be exiled to the town hall。 They
contri
