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The Register

by William D。 Howells






I。



SCENE:  In an upper chamber of a boarding…house in Melanchthon Place;
Boston; a mature; plain young lady; with every appearance of
establishing herself in the room for the first time; moves about;
bestowing little touches of decoration here and there; and talking
with another young lady; whose voice comes through the open doorway
of an inner room。


MISS ETHEL REED; from within:  〃What in the world are you doing;
Nettie?〃

MISS HENRIETTA SPAULDING:  〃Oh; sticking up a household god or two。
What are you doing?〃

MISS REED:  〃Despairing。〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Still?〃

MISS REED; tragically:  〃Still!  How soon did you expect me to stop?
I am here on the sofa; where I flung myself two hours ago; and I
don't think I shall ever get up。  There is no reason WHY I ever
should。〃

MISS SPAULDING; suggestively:  〃Dinner。〃

MISS REED:  〃Oh; dinner!  Dinner; to a broken heart!〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃I don't believe your heart is broken。〃

MISS REED:  〃But I tell you it is!  I ought to know when my own heart
is broken; I should hope。  What makes you think it isn't?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Oh; it's happened so often!〃

MISS REED:  〃But this is a real case。  You ought to feel my forehead。
It's as hot!〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃You ought to get up and help me put this room to
rights; and then you would feel better。〃

MISS REED:  〃No; I should feel worse。  The idea of household gods
makes me sick。  Sylvan deities are what I want; the great god Pan
among the cat…tails and arrow…heads in the 'ma'sh' at Ponkwasset; the
dryads of the birch woodsthere are no oaks; the nymphs that haunt
the heights and hollows of the dear old mountain; the〃 …

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Wha…a…at?  I can't hear a word you say。〃

MISS REED:  〃That's because you keep fussing about so。  Why don't you
be quiet; if you want to hear?〃  She lifts her voice to its highest
pitch; with a pause for distinctness between the words:  〃I'm heart…
broken forPonkwasset。  The dryadsof thebirch woods。  The
nymphsand the greatgodPanin the reedsby the river。  And
allthatsort ofthing!〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃You know very well you're not。〃

MISS REED:  〃I'm not?  What's the reason I'm not?  Then; what am I
heart…broken for?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃You're not heart…broken at all。  You know very well
that he'll call before we've been here twenty…four hours。〃

MISS REED:  〃Who?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃The great god Pan。〃

MISS REED:  〃Oh; how cruel you are; to mock me so!  Come in here; and
sympathize a little!  Do; Nettie。〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃No; you come out here and utilize a little。  I'm
acting for your best good; as they say at Ponkwasset。〃

MISS REED:  〃When they want to be disagreeable!〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃If this room isn't in order by the time he calls;
you'll be everlastingly disgraced。〃

MISS REED:  〃I'm that now。  I can't be more sothere's that comfort。
What makes you think he'll call?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Because he's a gentleman; and will want to
apologize。  He behaved very rudely to you。〃

MISS REED:  〃No; Nettie; _I_ behaved rudely to HIM。  Yes!  Besides;
if he behaved rudely; he was no gentleman。  It's a contradiction in
terms; don't you see?  But I'll tell you what I'm going to do if he
comes。  I'm going to show a proper spirit for once in my life。  I'm
going to refuse to see him。  You've got to see him。〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Nonsense!〃

MISS REED:  〃Why nonsense?  Oh; why?  Expound!〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Because he wasn't rude to me; and he doesn't want
to see me。  Because I'm plain; and you're pretty。〃

MISS REED:  〃I'm NOT!  You know it perfectly well。  I'm hideous。〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Because I'm poor; and you're a person of
independent property。〃

MISS REED:  〃DEPENDENT property; I should call it:  just enough to be
useless on!  But that's insulting to HIM。  How can you say it's
because I have a little money?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Well; then; I won't。  I take it back。  I'll say
it's because you're young; and I'm old。〃

MISS REED:  〃You're NOT old。  You're as young as anybody; Nettie
Spaulding。  And you know I'm not young; I'm twenty…seven; if I'm a
day。  I'm just dropping into the grave。  But I can't argue with you;
miles off so; any longer。〃 Miss Reed appears at the open door;
dragging languidly after her the shawl which she had evidently drawn
round her on the sofa; her fair hair is a little disordered; and she
presses it into shape with one hand as she comes forward; a lovely
flush vies with a heavenly pallor in her cheeks; she looks a little
pensive in the arching eyebrows; and a little humorous about the
dimpled mouth。  〃Now I can prove that you are entirely wrong。  Where…
…were you?This room is rather an improvement over the one we had
last winter。  There is more of a view〃she goes to the window〃of
the houses across the Place; and I always think the swell front gives
a pretty shape to a room。  I'm sorry they've stopped building them。
Your piano goes very nicely into that little alcove。  Yes; we're
quite palatial。  And; on the whole; I'm glad there's no fireplace。
It's a pleasure at times; but for the most part it's a vanity and a
vexation; getting dust and ashes over everything。  Yes; after all;
give me the good old…fashioned; clean; convenient register!  Ugh!  My
feet are like ice。〃  She pulls an easy…chair up to the register in
the corner of the room; and pushes open its valves with the toe of
her slipper。  As she settles herself luxuriously in the chair; and
poises her feet daintily over the register:  〃Ah; this is something
like!  Henrietta Spaulding; ma'am!  Did I ever tell you that you were
the best friend I have in the world?〃

MISS SPAULDING; who continues her work of arranging the room:
〃Often。〃

MISS REED:  〃Did you ever believe it?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Never。〃

MISS REED:  〃Why?〃

MISS SPAULDING; thoughtfully regarding a vase which she holds in her
hand; after several times shifting it from a bracket to the corner of
her piano and back:  〃I wish I could tell where you do look best!〃

MISS REED; leaning forward wistfully; with her hands clasped and
resting on her knees:  〃I wish you would tell me WHY you don't
believe you're the best friend I have in the world。〃

MISS SPAULDING; finally placing the vase on the bracket:  〃Because
you've said so too often。〃

MISS REED:  〃Oh; that's no reason!  I can prove to you that you are。
Who else but you would have taken in a homeless and friendless
creature like me; and let her stay bothering round in demoralizing
idleness; while you were seriously teaching the young idea how to
drub the piano?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Anybody who wanted a room…mate as much as I did;
and could have found one willing to pay more than her share of the
lodging。〃

MISS REED; thoughtfully:  〃Do you think so; Henrietta?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃I know so。〃

MISS REED:  〃And you're not afraid that you wrong yourself?〃

MISS SPAULDING:  〃Not the least。〃

MISS REED:  〃Well; be it soas they say in novels。  I will not
contradict you; I will not say you are my BEST friend; I will merely
say that you are my ONLY friend。  Come here; Henrietta。  Draw up your
chair; and put your little hand in mine。〃

MISS SPAULDING; with severe distrust:  〃What do you want; Ethel
Reed?〃

MISS REED:  〃I wantI wantto talk it over with you。〃

MISS SPAULDING; recoiling:  〃I knew it!  Well; now; we've talked it
over enough; we've talked it over till there's nothing left of it。〃

MISS REED:  〃Oh; there's everything left!  It remains in all its
original enormity。  Perhaps we shall get some new light upon it。〃
She extends a pleading hand towards Miss Spaulding。  〃Come;
Henrietta; my only friend; shake!as the 'good Indians' say。  Let
your Ethel pour her hackneyed sorrows into your bosom。  Such an
uncomfortable image; it always seems; doesn't it; pouring sorrows
into bosoms!  Come!〃

MISS SPAULDING; decidedly:  〃No; I won't!  And you needn't try
wheedling any longer。  I won't sympathize with you on that basis at
all。〃

MISS REED:  〃What shall I try; then; if you won't let me try
wheedling?〃

MISS SPAULDING; going to the piano and opening it:  〃Try courage; try
self…respe

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