50 bab ballads-第3章
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Then I write the pretty mottoes which you find inside the
crackers。〃 …
〃Found at last！〃 I madly shouted。 〃Gentle pieman； you astound me！〃
Then I waved the turtle soup enthusiastically round me。
And I shouted and I danced until he'd quite a crowd around him …
And I rushed away exclaiming； 〃I have found him！ I have found
him！〃
And I heard the gentle pieman in the road behind me trilling；
〃'Tira； lira！' stop him； stop him！ 'Tra！ la！ la！' the soup's a
shilling！〃
But until I reached ELVIRA'S home； I never； never waited；
And ELVIRA to her FERDINAND'S irrevocably mated！
Ballad： TO MY BRIDE … （WHOEVER SHE MAY BE。）
OH！ little maid！ … （I do not know your name
Or who you are； so； as a safe precaution
I'll add） … Oh； buxom widow！ married dame！
（As one of these must be your present portion）
Listen； while I unveil prophetic lore for you；
And sing the fate that Fortune has in store for you。
You'll marry soon … within a year or twain …
A bachelor of CIRCA two and thirty：
Tall； gentlemanly； but extremely plain；
And when you're intimate； you'll call him 〃BERTIE。〃
Neat … dresses well； his temper has been classified
As hasty； but he's very quickly pacified。
You'll find him working mildly at the Bar；
After a touch at two or three professions；
From easy affluence extremely far；
A brief or two on Circuit … 〃soup〃 at Sessions；
A pound or two from whist and backing horses；
And； say three hundred from his own resources。
Quiet in harness； free from serious vice；
His faults are not particularly shady；
You'll never find him 〃SHY〃 … for； once or twice
Already； he's been driven by a lady；
Who parts with him … perhaps a poor excuse for him …
Because she hasn't any further use for him。
Oh！ bride of mine … tall； dumpy； dark； or fair！
Oh！ widow … wife； maybe； or blushing maiden；
I've told YOUR fortune； solved the gravest care
With which your mind has hitherto been laden。
I've prophesied correctly； never doubt it；
Now tell me mine … and please be quick about it！
You … only you … can tell me； an' you will；
To whom I'm destined shortly to be mated；
Will she run up a heavy MODISTE'S bill？
If so； I want to hear her income stated
（This is a point which interests me greatly）。
To quote the bard； 〃Oh！ have I seen her lately？〃
Say； must I wait till husband number one
Is comfortably stowed away at Woking？
How is her hair most usually done？
And tell me； please； will she object to smoking？
The colour of her eyes； too； you may mention：
Come； Sibyl； prophesy … I'm all attention。
Ballad： SIR MACKLIN。
OF all the youths I ever saw
None were so wicked； vain； or silly；
So lost to shame and Sabbath law；
As worldly TOM； and BOB； and BILLY。
For every Sabbath day they walked
（Such was their gay and thoughtless natur）
In parks or gardens； where they talked
From three to six； or even later。
SIR MACKLIN was a priest severe
In conduct and in conversation；
It did a sinner good to hear
Him deal in ratiocination。
He could in every action show
Some sin； and nobody could doubt him。
He argued high； he argued low；
He also argued round about him。
He wept to think each thoughtless youth
Contained of wickedness a skinful；
And burnt to teach the awful truth；
That walking out on Sunday's sinful。
〃Oh； youths；〃 said he； 〃I grieve to find
The course of life you've been and hit on …
Sit down；〃 said he； 〃and never mind
The pennies for the chairs you sit on。
〃My opening head is 'Kensington；'
How walking there the sinner hardens；
Which when I have enlarged upon；
I go to 'Secondly' … its 'Gardens。'
〃My 'Thirdly' comprehendeth 'Hyde；'
Of Secresy the guilts and shameses；
My 'Fourthly' … 'Park' … its verdure wide …
My 'Fifthly' comprehends 'St。 James's。'
〃That matter settled； I shall reach
The 'Sixthly' in my solemn tether；
And show that what is true of each；
Is also true of all； together。
〃Then I shall demonstrate to you；
According to the rules of WHATELY；
That what is true of all； is true
Of each； considered separately。〃
In lavish stream his accents flow；
TOM； BOB； and BILLY dare not flout him；
He argued high； he argued low；
He also argued round about him。
〃Ha； ha！〃 he said； 〃you loathe your ways；
You writhe at these my words of warning；
In agony your hands you raise。〃
（And so they did； for they were yawning。）
To 〃Twenty…firstly〃 on they go；
The lads do not attempt to scout him；
He argued high； he argued low；
He also argued round about him。
〃Ho； ho！〃 he cries； 〃you bow your crests …
My eloquence has set you weeping；
In shame you bend upon your breasts！〃
（And so they did； for they were sleeping。）
He proved them this … he proved them that …
This good but wearisome ascetic；
He jumped and thumped upon his hat；
He was so very energetic。
His Bishop at this moment chanced
To pass； and found the road encumbered；
He noticed how the Churchman danced；
And how his congregation slumbered。
The hundred and eleventh head
The priest completed of his stricture；
〃Oh； bosh！〃 the worthy Bishop said；
And walked him off as in the picture。
Ballad： THE YARN OF THE 〃NANCY BELL。〃 （1）
'TWAS on the shores that round our coast
From Deal to Ramsgate span；
That I found alone on a piece of stone
An elderly naval man。
His hair was weedy； his beard was long；
And weedy and long was he；
And I heard this wight on the shore recite；
In a singular minor key：
〃Oh； I am a cook and a captain bold；
And the mate of the NANCY brig；
And a bo'sun tight； and a midshipmite；
And the crew of the captain's gig。〃
And he shook his fists and he tore his hair；
Till I really felt afraid；
For I couldn't help thinking the man had been drinking；
And so I simply said：
〃Oh； elderly man； it's little I know
Of the duties of men of the sea；
And I'll eat my hand if I understand
However you can be
〃At once a cook； and a captain bold；
And the mate of the NANCY brig；
And a bo'sun tight； and a midshipmite；
And the crew of the captain's gig。〃
Then he gave a hitch to his trousers； which
Is a trick all seamen larn；
And having got rid of a thumping quid；
He spun this painful yarn：
〃'Twas in the good ship NANCY BELL
That we sailed to the Indian Sea；
And there on a reef we come to grief；
Which has often occurred to me。
〃And pretty nigh all the crew was drowned
（There was seventy…seven o' soul）；
And only ten of the NANCY'S men
Said 'Here！' to the muster…roll。
〃There was me and the cook and the captain bold；
And the mate of the NANCY brig；
And the bo'sun tight； and a midshipmite；
And the crew of the captain's gig。
〃For a month we'd neither wittles nor drink；
Till a…hungry we did feel；
So we drawed a lot； and； accordin' shot
The captain for our meal。
〃The next lot fell to the NANCY'S mate；
And a delicate dish he made；
Then our appetite with the midshipmite
We seven survivors stayed。
〃And then we murdered the bo'sun tight；
And he much resembled pig；
Then we wittled free； did the cook and me；
On the crew of the captain's gig。
〃Then only the cook and me was left；
And the delicate question； 'Which
Of us two goes to the kettle？' arose；
And we argued it out as sich。
〃For I loved that cook as a brother； I did；
And the cook he worshipped me；
But we'd both be blowed if we'd either be stowed
In the other chap's hold； you see。
〃'I'll be eat if you dines off me；' says TOM；
'Yes； that；' says I； 'you'll be； …
'I'm boiled if I die； my friend；' quoth I；
And 'Exactly so；' quoth he。
〃Says he； 'Dear JAMES； to murder me
Were a foolish thing to do；
For don't you see that you can't cook ME；
While I can … and will … cook YOU！'
〃So he boils the water； and takes the salt
And the pepper in portions true
