the diary of a nobody-第19章

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y　opened　a　bottle　of　port。　　Gowing　dropped　in　just　in　time；　bringing　with　him　a　large　sheet；　with　a　print　of　a　tailless　donkey；　which　he　fastened　against　the　wall。　　He　then　produced　several　separate　tails；　and　we　spent　the　remainder　of　the　evening　trying　blindfolded　to　pin　a　tail　on　in　the　proper　place。　My　sides　positively　ached　with　laughter　when　I　went　to　bed。

February　12。　…　In　the　evening　I　spoke　to　Lupin　about　his　engagement　with　Daisy　Mutlar。　　I　asked　if　he　had　heard　from　her。　　He　replied：　〃No；　she　promised　that　old　windbag　of　a　father　of　hers　that　she　would　not　communicate　with　me。　　I　see　Frank　Mutlar；　of　course；　in　fact；　he　said　he　might　call　again　this　evening。〃　　Frank　called；　but　said　he　could　not　stop；　as　he　had　a　friend　waiting　outside　for　him；　named　Murray　Posh；　adding　he　was　quite　a　swell。　　Carrie　asked　Frank　to　bring　him　in。

He　was　brought　in；　Gowing　entering　at　the　same　time。　　Mr。　Murray　Posh　was　a　tall；　fat　young　man；　and　was　evidently　of　a　very　nervous　disposition；　as　he　subsequently　confessed　he　would　never　go　in　a　hansom　cab；　nor　would　he　enter　a　four…wheeler　until　the　driver　had　first　got　on　the　box　with　his　reins　in　his　hands。

On　being　introduced；　Gowing；　with　his　usual　want　of　tact；　said：　〃Any　relation　to　'Posh's　three…shilling　hats'？〃　　Mr。　Posh　replied：　〃Yes；　but　please　understand　I　don't　try　on　hats　myself。　　I　take　no　ACTIVE　part　in　the　business。〃　　I　replied：　　〃I　wish　I　had　a　business　like　it。〃　　Mr。　Posh　seemed　pleased；　and　gave　a　long　but　most　interesting　history　of　the　extraordinary　difficulties　in　the　manufacture　of　cheap　hats。

Murray　Posh　evidently　knew　Daisy　Mutlar　very　intimately　from　the　way　he　was　talking　of　her；　and　Frank　said　to　Lupin　once；　laughingly：　　〃If　you　don't　look　out；　Posh　will　cut　you　out！〃　　When　they　had　all　gone；　I　referred　to　this　flippant　conversation；　and　Lupin　said；　sarcastically：　　〃A　man　who　is　jealous　has　no　respect　for　himself。　　A　man　who　would　be　jealous　of　an　elephant　like　Murray　Posh　could　only　have　a　contempt　for　himself。　　I　know　Daisy。　　She　WOULD　wait　ten　years　for　me；　as　I　said　before；　in　fact；　if　necessary；　SHE　WOULD　WAIT　TWENTY　YEARS　FOR　ME。〃



CHAPTER　XVI。



We　lose　money　over　Lupin's　advice　as　to　investment；　so　does　Cummings。　　Murray　Posh　engaged　to　Daisy　Mutlar。


February　18。　…　Carrie　has　several　times　recently　called　attention　to　the　thinness　of　my　hair　at　the　top　of　my　head；　and　recommended　me　to　get　it　seen　to。　　I　was　this　morning　trying　to　look　at　it　by　the　aid　of　a　small　hand…glass；　when　somehow　my　elbow　caught　against　the　edge　of　the　chest　of　drawers　and　knocked　the　glass　out　of　my　hand　and　smashed　it。　　Carrie　was　in　an　awful　way　about　it；　as　she　is　rather　absurdly　superstitious。　　To　make　matters　worse；　my　large　photograph　in　the　drawing…room　fell　during　the　night；　and　the　glass　cracked。

Carrie　said：　　〃Mark　my　words；　Charles；　some　misfortune　is　about　to　happen。〃

I　said：　　〃Nonsense；　dear。〃

In　the　evening　Lupin　arrived　home　early；　and　seemed　a　little　agitated。　　I　said：　　〃What's　up；　my　boy？〃　　He　hesitated　a　good　deal；　and　then　said：　　〃You　know　those　Parachikka　Chlorates　I　advised　you　to　invest　20　pounds　in？　　I　replied：　　〃Yes；　they　are　all　right；　I　trust？〃　　He　replied：　　〃Well；　no！　　To　the　surprise　of　everybody；　they　have　utterly　collapsed。〃

My　breath　was　so　completely　taken　away；　I　could　say　nothing。　Carrie　looked　at　me；　and　said：　　〃What　did　I　tell　you？〃　　Lupin；　after　a　while；　said：　　〃However；　you　are　specially　fortunate。　　I　received　an　early　tip；　and　sold　out　yours　immediately；　and　was　fortunate　to　get　2　pounds　for　them。　　So　you　get　something　after　all。〃

I　gave　a　sigh　of　relief。　　I　said：　　〃I　was　not　so　sanguine　as　to　suppose；　as　you　predicted；　that　I　should　get　six　or　eight　times　the　amount　of　my　investment；　still　a　profit　of　2　pounds　is　a　good　percentage　for　such　a　short　time。〃　　Lupin　said；　quite　irritably：　〃You　don't　understand。　　I　sold　your　20　pounds　shares　for　2　pounds；　you　therefore　lose　18　pounds　on　the　transaction；　whereby　Cummings　and　Gowing　will　lose　the　whole　of　theirs。〃

February　19。　…　Lupin；　before　going　to　town；　said：　　〃I　am　very　sorry　about　those　Parachikka　Chlorates；　it　would　not　have　happened　if　the　boss；　Job　Cleanands；　had　been　in　town。　　Between　ourselves；　you　must　not　be　surprised　if　something　goes　wrong　at　our　office。　　Job　Cleanands　has　not　been　seen　the　last　few　days；　and　it　strikes　me　several　people　DO　want　to　see　him　very　particularly。〃

In　the　evening　Lupin　was　just　on　the　point　of　going　out　to　avoid　a　collision　with　Gowing　and　Cummings；　when　the　former　entered　the　room；　without　knocking；　but　with　his　usual　trick　of　saying；　〃May　I　come　in？〃

He　entered；　and　to　the　surprise　of　Lupin　and　myself；　seemed　to　be　in　the　very　best　of　spirits。　　Neither　Lupin　nor　I　broached　the　subject　to　him；　but　he　did　so　of　his　own　accord。　　He　said：　　〃I　say；　those　Parachikka　Chlorates　have　gone　an　awful　smash！　　You're　a　nice　one；　Master　Lupin。　　How　much　do　you　lose？〃　　Lupin；　to　my　utter　astonishment；　said：　　〃Oh！　　I　had　nothing　in　them。　　There　was　some　informality　in　my　application　…　I　forgot　to　enclose　the　cheque　or　something；　and　I　didn't　get　any。　　The　Guv。　loses　18　pounds。〃　　I　said：　　〃I　quite　understood　you　were　in　it；　or　nothing　would　have　induced　me　to　speculate。〃　　Lupin　replied：　　〃Well；　it　can't　be　helped；　you　must　go　double　on　the　next　tip。〃　　Before　I　could　reply；　Gowing　said：　　〃Well；　I　lose　nothing；　fortunately。　　From　what　I　heard；　I　did　not　quite　believe　in　them；　so　I　persuaded　Cummings　to　take　my　15　pounds　worth；　as　he　had　more　faith　in　them　than　I　had。〃

Lupin　burst　out　laughing；　and；　in　the　most　unseemly　manner；　said：　〃Alas；　poor　Cummings。　　He'll　lose　35　pounds。〃　　At　that　moment　there　was　a　ring　at　the　bell。　　Lupin　said：　　〃I　don't　want　to　meet　Cummings。〃　　If　he　had　gone　out　of　the　door　he　would　have　met　him　in　the　passage；　so　as　quickly　as　possible　Lupin　opened　the　parlour　window　and　got　out。　　Gowing　jumped　up　suddenly；　exclaiming：　　〃I　don't　want　to　see　him　either！〃　and；　before　I　could　say　a　word；　he　followed　Lupin　out　of　the　window。

For　my　own　part；　I　was　horrified　to　think　my　own　son　and　one　of　my　most　intimate　friends　should　depart　from　the　house　like　a　couple　of　interrupted　burglars。　　Poor　Cummings　was　very　upset；　and　of　course　was　naturally　very　angry　both　with　Lupin　and　Gowing。　　I　pressed　him　to　have　a　little　whisky；　and　he　replied　that　he　had　given　up　whisky；　but　would　like　a　little　〃Unsweetened；〃　as　he　was　advised　it　was　the　most　healthy　spirit。　　I　had　none　in　the　house；　but　sent　Sarah　round　to　Lockwood's　for　some。

February　20。　…　The　first　thing　that　caught　my　eye　on　opening　the　STANDARD　was　…　〃Great　Failure　of　Stock　and　Share　Dealers！　　Mr。　Job　Cleanands　absconded！〃　　I　handed　it　to　Carrie；　and　she　replied：　〃Oh！　perhaps　it's　for　Lupin's　good。　　I　never　did　think　it　a　suitable　situation　for　him。〃　　I　thought　the　whole　affair　very　shocking。

Lupin　came　down　to　breakfast；　and　seeing　he　looked　painfully　distressed；　I　said：　　〃We　know　the　news；　my　dear　boy；　and　feel　very　sorry　for　you。〃　　Lupin　said：　　〃How　did　you　know？　who　told　you？〃　　I　handed　him　the　STANDARD。　　He　threw　the　paper　down；　and　said：　　〃Oh　I　don't　care　a　button　for　that！　　I　expected　that；　but　I　did　not　expect　this。〃　　He　then　read　a　letter　from　Frank　Mutlar；　announcing；　in　a　cool　manner；　that　Daisy　Mutlar　is　to　be　married　next　month　to　Murray　Posh。　　I　exclaimed；　〃Murray　Posh！　　Is　not　that　the　very　man　Frank　had　the　impudence　to　bring　here　last　Tuesday　week？〃　　Lupin　said：　　〃Yes；　the　'POSH'S…THREE…SHILLING…HATS'　chap。〃

We　all　then　ate　our　breakfast　in　dead　silence。

In　fact；　I　could　eat　nothing。　　I　was　not　only　too　worried；　but　I　cannot　and　will　not　eat　cushion　of　bacon。　　If　I　cannot　get　streaky　bacon；　I　will　do　without　anything。

When　Lupin　rose　to　go　I　noticed　a　malicious　smile　creep　over　his　face。　　I　asked　him　what　it　meant。　　He　replied：　　〃Oh！　only　a　little　consolation　…　still　it　is　a　consolation。　　I　have　just　remembered　that；　by　MY　advice；　Mr。　Murray　Posh　has　invested　600　pounds　in　Parachikka　Chlorates！〃



CHAPTER　XVII。



Marriage　of　Daisy　Mutlar　and　Murray　Posh。　　The　dream　of　my　life　realised。　　Mr。　Perkupp　takes　Lupin　into　the　office。


March　20。　…　To…day　being　the　day　on　which　Daisy　Mutlar　and　Mr。　Murray　Posh　are　to　be