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第17章

the diary of a nobody-第17章

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 not say how dear Carrie received this joyful news。  With perfect simplicity she said:  〃At last we shall be able to have a chimney… glass for the back drawing…room; which we always wanted。〃  I added: 〃Yes; and at last you shall have that little costume which you saw at Peter Robinson's so cheap。〃

January 2。 … I was in a great state of suspense all day at the office。  I did not like to worry Mr。 Perkupp; but as he did not send for me; and mentioned yesterday that he would see me again to… day; I thought it better; perhaps; to go to him。  I knocked at his door; and on entering; Mr。 Perkupp said:  〃Oh! it's you; Mr。 Pooter; do you want to see me?〃  I said:  〃No; sir; I thought you wanted to see me!〃  〃Oh!〃 he replied; 〃I remember。  Well; I am very busy to…day; I will see you to…morrow。〃

January 3。 … Still in a state of anxiety and excitement; which was not alleviated by ascertaining that Mr。 Perkupp sent word he should not be at the office to…day。  In the evening; Lupin; who was busily engaged with a paper; said suddenly to me:  〃Do you know anything about CHALK PITS; Guv。?〃  I said:  〃No; my boy; not that I'm aware of。〃  Lupin said:  〃Well; I give you the tip; CHALK PITS are as safe as Consols; and pay six per cent。 at par。〃  I said a rather neat thing; viz。:  〃They may be six per cent。 at PAR; but your PA has no money to invest。〃  Carrie and I both roared with laughter。 Lupin did not take the slightest notice of the joke; although I purposely repeated it for him; but continued:  〃I give you the tip; that's all … CHALK PITS!〃  I said another funny thing:  〃Mind you don't fall into them!〃  Lupin put on a supercilious smile; and said:  〃Bravo!  Joe Miller。〃

January 4。 … Mr。 Perkupp sent for me and told me that my position would be that of one of the senior clerks。  I was more than overjoyed。  Mr。 Perkupp added; he would let me know to…morrow what the salary would be。  This means another day's anxiety; I don't mind; for it is anxiety of the right sort。  That reminded me that I had forgotten to speak to Lupin about the letter I received from Mr。 Mutlar; senr。  I broached the subject to Lupin in the evening; having first consulted Carrie。  Lupin was riveted to the FINANCIAL NEWS; as if he had been a born capitalist; and I said:  〃Pardon me a moment; Lupin; how is it you have not been to the Mutlars' any day this week?〃

Lupin answered:  〃I told you!  I cannot stand old Mutlar。〃

I said:  〃Mr。 Mutlar writes to me to say pretty plainly that he cannot stand you!〃

Lupin said:  〃Well; I like his cheek in writing to YOU。  I'll find out if his father is still alive; and I will write HIM a note complaining of HIS son; and I'll state pretty clearly that his son is a blithering idiot!〃

I said:  〃Lupin; please moderate your expressions in the presence of your mother。〃

Lupin said:  〃I'm very sorry; but there is no other expression one can apply to him。  However; I'm determined not to enter his place again。〃

I said:  〃You know; Lupin; he has forbidden you the house。〃

Lupin replied:  〃Well; we won't split straws … it's all the same。 Daisy is a trump; and will wait for me ten years; if necessary。〃

January 5。 … I can scarcely write the news。  Mr。 Perkupp told me my salary would be raised 100 pounds!  I stood gaping for a moment unable to realise it。  I annually get 10 pounds rise; and I thought it might be 15 pounds or even 20 pounds; but 100 pounds surpasses all belief。  Carrie and I both rejoiced over our good fortune。 Lupin came home in the evening in the utmost good spirits。  I sent Sarah quietly round to the grocer's for a bottle of champagne; the same as we had before; 〃Jackson Freres。〃  It was opened at supper; and I said to Lupin:  〃This is to celebrate some good news I have received to…day。〃  Lupin replied:  〃Hooray; Guv。!  And I have some good news; also; a double event; eh?〃  I said:  〃My boy; as a result of twenty…one years' industry and strict attention to the interests of my superiors in office; I have been rewarded with promotion and a rise in salary of 100 pounds。〃

Lupin gave three cheers; and we rapped the table furiously; which brought in Sarah to see what the matter was。  Lupin ordered us to 〃fill up〃 again; and addressing us upstanding; said:  〃Having been in the firm of Job Cleanands; stock and share…brokers; a few weeks; and not having paid particular attention to the interests of my superiors in office; my Guv'nor; as a reward to me; allotted me 5 pounds worth of shares in a really good thing。  The result is; to… day I have made 200 pounds。〃  I said:  〃Lupin; you are joking。〃 〃No; Guv。; it's the good old truth; Job Cleanands PUT ME ON TO CHLORATES。〃

January 21。 … I am very much concerned at Lupin having started a pony…trap。  I said:  〃Lupin; are you justified in this outrageous extravagance?〃  Lupin replied:  〃Well; one must get to the City somehow。  I've only hired it; and can give it up any time I like。〃 I repeated my question:  〃Are you justified in this extravagance?〃 He replied:  〃Look here; Guv。; excuse me saying so; but you're a bit out of date。  It does not pay nowadays; fiddling about over small things。  I don't mean anything personal; Guv'nor。  My boss says if I take his tip; and stick to big things; I can make big money!〃  I said I thought the very idea of speculation most horrifying。  Lupin said 〃It is not speculation; it's a dead cert。〃 I advised him; at all events; not to continue the pony and cart; but he replied:  〃I made 200 pounds in one day; now suppose I only make 200 pounds in a month; or put it at 100 pounds a month; which is ridiculously low … why; that is 1;250 pounds a year。  What's a few pounds a week for a trap?〃

I did not pursue the subject further; beyond saying that I should feel glad when the autumn came; and Lupin would be of age and responsible for his own debts。  He answered:  〃My dear Guv。; I promise you faithfully that I will never speculate with what I have not got。  I shall only go on Job Cleanands' tips; and as he is in the 'know' it is pretty safe sailing。〃  I felt somewhat relieved。 Gowing called in the evening and; to my surprise; informed me that; as he had made 10 pounds by one of Lupin's tips; he intended asking us and the Cummings round next Saturday。  Carrie and I said we should be delighted。

January 22。 … I don't generally lose my temper with servants; but I had to speak to Sarah rather sharply about a careless habit she has recently contracted of shaking the table…cloth; after removing the breakfast things; in a manner which causes all the crumbs to fall on the carpet; eventually to be trodden in。  Sarah answered very rudely:  〃Oh; you are always complaining。〃  I replied:  〃Indeed; I am not。  I spoke to you last week about walking all over the drawing…room carpet with a piece of yellow soap on the heel of your boot。〃  She said:  〃And you're always grumbling about your breakfast。〃  I said:  〃No; I am not; but I feel perfectly justified in complaining that I never can get a hard…boiled egg。  The moment I crack the shell it spurts all over the plate; and I have spoken to you at least fifty times about it。〃  She began to cry and make a scene; but fortunately my 'bus came by; so I had a good excuse for leaving her。  Gowing left a message in the evening; that we were not to forget next Saturday。  Carrie amusingly said:  As he has never asked any friends before; we are not likely to forget it。

January 23。 … I asked Lupin to try and change the hard brushes; he recently made me a present of; for some softer ones; as my hair… dresser tells me I ought not to brush my hair too much just now。

January 24。 … The new chimney…glass came home for the back drawing… room。  Carrie arranged some fans very prettily on the top and on each side。  It is an immense improvement to the room。

January 25。 … We had just finished our tea; when who should come in but Cummings; who has not been here for over three weeks。  I noticed that he looked anything but well; so I said:  〃Well; Cummings; how are you?  You look a little blue。〃  He replied: 〃Yes! and I feel blue too。〃  I said:  〃Why; what's the matter?〃  He said:  〃Oh; nothing; except that I have been on my back for a couple of weeks; that's all。  At one time my doctor nearly gave me up; yet not a soul has come nea

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