the diary of a nobody-第14章

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ply；　and　Gowing　unfortunately　inquired　after　Daisy　Mutlar。　　Lupin　shouted：　　〃Mind　your　own　business；　sir！〃　and　bounced　out　of　the　room；　slamming　the　door。　　The　remainder　of　the　night　was　Daisy　Mutlar　…　Daisy　Mutlar　…　Daisy　Mutlar。　　Oh　dear！

November　26；　Sunday。　…　The　curate　preached　a　very　good　sermon　to…　day　…　very　good　indeed。　　His　appearance　is　never　so　impressive　as　our　dear　old　vicar's；　but　I　am　bound　to　say　his　sermons　are　much　more　impressive。　　A　rather　annoying　incident　occurred；　of　which　I　must　make　mention。　　Mrs。　Fernlosse；　who　is　quite　a　grand　lady；　living　in　one　of　those　large　houses　in　the　Camden　Road；　stopped　to　speak　to　me　after　church；　when　we　were　all　coming　out。　　I　must　say　I　felt　flattered；　for　she　is　thought　a　good　deal　of。　　I　suppose　she　knew　me　through　seeing　me　so　often　take　round　the　plate；　especially　as　she　always　occupies　the　corner　seat　of　the　pew。　　She　is　a　very　influential　lady；　and　may　have　had　something　of　the　utmost　importance　to　say；　but　unfortunately；　as　she　commenced　to　speak　a　strong　gust　of　wind　came　and　blew　my　hat　off　into　the　middle　of　the　road。

I　had　to　run　after　it；　and　had　the　greatest　difficulty　in　recovering　it。　　When　I　had　succeeded　in　doing　so；　I　found　Mrs。　Fernlosse　had　walked　on　with　some　swell　friends；　and　I　felt　I　could　not　well　approach　her　now；　especially　as　my　hat　was　smothered　with　mud。　　I　cannot　say　how　disappointed　I　felt。

In　the　evening　（SUNDAY　evening　of　all　others）　I　found　an　impertinent　note　from　Mr。　Burwin…Fosselton；　which　ran　as　follows：


〃Dear　Mr。　Pooter；　…　Although　your　junior　by　perhaps　some　twenty　or　thirty　years　…　which　is　sufficient　reason　that　you　ought　to　have　a　longer　record　of　the　things　and　ways　in　this　miniature　of　a　planet　…　I　feel　it　is　just　within　the　bounds　of　possibility　that　the　wheels　of　your　life　don't　travel　so　quickly　round　as　those　of　the　humble　writer　of　these　lines。　　The　dandy　horse　of　past　days　has　been　known　to　overtake　the　SLOW　COACH。

〃Do　I　make　myself　understood？

〃Very　well；　then！　　Permit　me；　Mr。　Pooter；　to　advise　you　to　accept　the　VERB。　SAP。　　Acknowledge　your　defeat；　and　take　your　whipping　gracefully；　for　remember　you　threw　down　the　glove；　and　I　cannot　claim　to　be　either　mentally　or　physically　a　COWARD！

〃REVENONS　E　NOS　MOUTONS。

〃Our　lives　run　in　different　grooves。　　I　live　for　MY　ART　…　THE　STAGE。　　Your　life　is　devoted　to　commercial　pursuits　…　'A　life　among　Ledgers。'　　My　books　are　of　different　metal。　　Your　life　in　the　City　is　honourable；　I　admit。　　BUT　HOW　DIFFERENT！　　Cannot　even　you　see　the　ocean　between　us？　　A　channel　that　prevents　the　meeting　of　our　brains　in　harmonious　accord。　　Ah！　　But　CHACUN　E　SON　GOUT。

〃I　have　registered　a　vow　to　mount　the　steps　of　fame。　　I　may　crawl；　I　may　slip；　I　may　even　falter　（we　are　all　weak）；　but　REACH　THE　TOP　RUNG　OF　THE　LADDER　I　WILL！！！　　When　there；　my　voice　shall　be　heard；　for　I　will　shout　to　the　multitudes　below：　　'VICI！'　　For　the　present　I　am　only　an　amateur；　and　my　work　is　unknown；　forsooth；　save　to　a　party　of　friends；　with　here　and　there　an　enemy。

〃But；　Mr。　Pooter；　let　me　ask　you；　'What　is　the　difference　between　the　amateur　and　the　professional？'

〃None！！！

〃Stay！　　Yes；　there　is　a　difference。　　One　is　PAID　for　doing　what　the　other　does　as　skilfully　for　NOTHING！

〃But　I　will　be　PAID；　too！　　For　I；　contrary　to　the　wishes　of　my　family　and　friends；　have　at　last　elected　to　adopt　the　stage　as　MY　profession。　　And　when　the　FARCE　craze　is　over　…　and；　MARK　YOU；　THAT　WILL　BE　SOON　…　I　will　make　my　power　known；　for　I　feel　…　pardon　my　apparent　conceit　…　that　there　is　no　living　man　who　can　play　the　hump…backed　Richard　as　I　FEEL　and　KNOW　I　can。

〃And　YOU　will　be　the　first　to　come　round　and　bend　your　head　in　submission。　　There　are　many　matters　you　may　understand；　but　knowledge　of　the　fine　art　of　acting　is　to　you　an　UNKNOWN　QUANTITY。

〃Pray　let　this　discussion　cease　with　this　letter。　　VALE！

Yours　truly；

〃Burwin…Fosselton。〃


I　was　disgusted。　　When　Lupin　came　in；　I　handed　him　this　impertinent　letter；　and　said：　　〃My　boy；　in　that　letter　you　can　see　the　true　character　of　your　friend。〃

Lupin；　to　my　surprise；　said：　　〃Oh　yes。　　He　showed　me　the　letter　before　he　sent　it。　　I　think　he　is　right；　and　you　ought　to　apologise。〃



CHAPTER　XII。



A　serious　discussion　concerning　the　use　and　value　of　my　diary。　Lupin's　opinion　of　'Xmas。　　Lupin's　unfortunate　engagement　is　on　again。


December　17。　…　As　I　open　my　scribbling　diary　I　find　the　words　〃Oxford　Michaelmas　Term　ends。〃　　Why　this　should　induce　me　to　indulge　in　retrospective　I　don't　know；　but　it　does。　　The　last　few　weeks　of　my　diary　are　of　minimum　interest。　　The　breaking　off　of　the　engagement　between　Lupin　and　Daisy　Mutlar　has　made　him　a　different　being；　and　Carrie　a　rather　depressing　companion。　　She　was　a　little　dull　last　Saturday；　and　I　thought　to　cheer　her　up　by　reading　some　extracts　from　my　diary；　but　she　walked　out　of　the　room　in　the　middle　of　the　reading；　without　a　word。　　On　her　return；　I　said：　〃Did　my　diary　bore　you；　darling？〃

She　replied；　to　my　surprise：　　〃I　really　wasn't　listening；　dear。　　I　was　obliged　to　leave　to　give　instructions　to　the　laundress。　　In　consequence　of　some　stuff　she　puts　in　the　water；　two　more　of　Lupin's　coloured　shirts　have　run　and　he　says　he　won't　wear　them。〃

I　said：　　〃Everything　is　Lupin。　　It's　all　Lupin；　Lupin；　Lupin。　There　was　not　a　single　button　on　my　shirt　yesterday；　but　I　made　no　complaint。〃

Carrie　simply　replied：　　〃You　should　do　as　all　other　men　do；　and　wear　studs。　　In　fact；　I　never　saw　anyone　but　you　wear　buttons　on　the　shirt…fronts。〃

I　said：　　〃I　certainly　wore　none　yesterday；　for　there　were　none　on。〃

Another　thought　that　strikes　me　is　that　Gowing　seldom　calls　in　the　evening；　and　Cummings　never　does。　　I　fear　they　don't　get　on　well　with　Lupin。

December　18。　…　Yesterday　I　was　in　a　retrospective　vein　…　to…day　it　is　PROSPECTIVE。　　I　see　nothing　but　clouds；　clouds；　clouds。　　Lupin　is　perfectly　intolerable　over　the　Daisy　Mutlar　business。　　He　won't　say　what　is　the　cause　of　the　breach。　　He　is　evidently　condemning　her　conduct；　and　yet；　if　we　venture　to　agree　with　him；　says　he　won't　hear　a　word　against　her。　　So　what　is　one　to　do？　　Another　thing　which　is　disappointing　to　me　is；　that　Carrie　and　Lupin　take　no　interest　whatever　in　my　diary。

I　broached　the　subject　at　the　breakfast…table　to…day。　　I　said：　　〃I　was　in　hopes　that；　if　anything　ever　happened　to　me；　the　diary　would　be　an　endless　source　of　pleasure　to　you　both；　to　say　nothing　of　the　chance　of　the　remuneration　which　may　accrue　from　its　being　published。〃

Both　Carrie　and　Lupin　burst　out　laughing。　　Carrie　was　sorry　for　this；　I　could　see；　for　she　said：　　〃I　did　not　mean　to　be　rude；　dear　Charlie；　but　truly　I　do　not　think　your　diary　would　sufficiently　interest　the　public　to　be　taken　up　by　a　publisher。〃

I　replied：　　〃I　am　sure　it　would　prove　quite　as　interesting　as　some　of　the　ridiculous　reminiscences　that　have　been　published　lately。　Besides；　it's　the　diary　that　makes　the　man。　　Where　would　Evelyn　and　Pepys　have　been　if　it　had　not　been　for　their　diaries？〃

Carrie　said　I　was　quite　a　philosopher；　but　Lupin；　in　a　jeering　tone；　said：　　〃If　it　had　been　written　on　larger　paper；　Guv。；　we　might　get　a　fair　price　from　a　butterman　for　it。〃

As　I　am　in　the　prospective　vein；　I　vow　the　end　of　this　year　will　see　the　end　of　my　diary。

December　19。　…　The　annual　invitation　came　to　spend　Christmas　with　Carrie's　mother　…　the　usual　family　festive　gathering　to　which　we　always　look　forward。　　Lupin　declined　to　go。　　I　was　astounded；　and　expressed　my　surprise　and　disgust。　　Lupin　then　obliged　us　with　the　following　Radical　speech：　　〃I　hate　a　family　gathering　at　Christmas。　What　does　it　mean？　　Why　someone　says：　　'Ah！　we　miss　poor　Uncle　James；　who　was　here　last　year；'　and　we　all　begin　to　snivel。　Someone　else　says：　　'It's　two　years　since　poor　Aunt　Liz　used　to　sit　in　that　corner。'　　Then　we　all　begin　to　snivel　again。　　Then　another　gloomy　relation　says　'Ah！　　I　wonder　whose　turn　it　will　be　next？'　Then　we　all　snivel　again；　and　proceed　to　eat　and　drink　too　much；　and　they　don't　discover　until　I　get　up　that　we　have　been　seated　thirteen　at　dinner。〃

December　20。　…　Went　to　Smirksons'；　the　drapers；　in　the　Strand；　who　this　year　have　turned　out　everything　in　the　shop　and　devote